Summary: Letting go of bitterness

Bitter to Better part 2

[2] Last week we started talking about how to go from bitter to better. If bitterness has crept into your life, there is a way to alleviate the pain. There is a way to get better.

Last week we focused on what to do when another person has caused the pain and bitterness in your life. We learned from Ephesians 4:31-32 that the way to go from bitter to better was through kindness, compassion and forgiveness.

[3] The Bible says to, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

So the key to letting loose of bitterness caused by others is to actually shows those others kindness, compassion and forgiveness – just like Christ has for us.

[4] But what about the trials of life that test us? How do you show kindness and compassion towards a chronic sickness or disease? How do you forgive a freak accident that’s devastated your life? How do you deal with life’s trials that cause you pain and bitterness?

For some people, when life deals them a tough hand, they do all the wrong things to try and cope with the circumstances.

Some people self-medicate through drugs and alcohol. If you stay drunk then you won’t have to think about the toughness of life. (Even though nothing has really changed.)

Some people try and distract themselves from trials through things and people that’ll give them pleasure. Things that’ll make them feel good. (Even though those feelings will eventually wear off.)

Some people, just end up bitter at life and live that way way too long.

But there is hope and there is help to go from bitter to better when life is trying to drag you down. And it all starts with our: [5]

I. Attitude towards trials

[Read James 1:2.]

Wait a minute now, considerate it joy when trial come? That’s a little sadistic isn’t it? I mean, who gets happy when life slaps you across the face with tough times. I mean, there’s no section of greeting cards that read, “Congratulations on your new calamity!” There’s a lot of things that bring me joy, but trials aren’t even in my top ten.

Some of the things that bring me joy are walk on the beach with my beautiful wife, playing with my children, the Dallas Cowboys winning the Super Bowl in 2008. Those are the types of things that bring people joy.

But trials…those just seem to bring pain…and pain not dealt with correctly leads to bitterness.

Trials are those things in life that usually come out of nowhere, have little or no explanation, and are hard and hurtful experiences. Trials come in the form of the death of a loved one, accidents, disease, and unforeseen events that make life difficult.

The Greek word used in verse two for our English word trial is “pirasmos” which means putting to proof by experience. Putting to proof by experience. Isn’t that interesting. So what’s being proved by our difficult experiences? Our faith. Our faith if being proved.

Someone once asked C.S. Lewis, "Why do the righteous suffer?" "Why not?" he replied. "They’re the only ones who can take it."

And that’s so true isn’t it? If anyone is equipped to handle the toughness of life it’s God’s children. It’s all in the way you handle it. So the first part of handling a trial is our attitude towards trials themselves. Let’s read verse two again.

[Read James 1:2.]

The verse gives us the impression that James is talking about our attitude once we find ourselves in the midst of a trial. It reads, “whenever you face trials” which means when you are looking a specific trial right square in the eyes. He doesn’t expect us to sit around and hope a trial comes or sit around and think about how wonderful trials are. But he does ask us to be joyful even when we find ourselves in the midst of a tough circumstance.

You know why we should have joy or inner peace when we find ourselves in the midst of a trial. Because we know that there’s an advantage for going through a trial. Because we know that we can go to the Lord for assistance with the trial. Because we know that some day there will be no more trials. First let’s look at the: [6]

II. Advantage of trials

[Read James 1:2-4.]

James isn’t giving anyone new information or revelation here. He starts out by saying, “because you know”. In other words, we have all been through tough times. So you know that trials help a person mature and grow. This is just a timely reminder and encouragement of the truth that we all already know.

The testing of our faith, which is really what trials are, can make us stronger. It gets us ready for what’s next. The Bible says trials give us perseverance which is endurance in the face of difficulties. They build us in such a way that we learn how to endure tough times without falling apart.

I’ve seen people fall apart emotionally when a trial came into their life. I’ve also seen people stand firm in the face of difficulties. But one of the advantages of trials is that they get you stronger for whatever might be next.

They also help you become a more mature and complete Christian. You show me someone who has had an easy life and I’ll show you someone who is probably not that strong of a Christian.

But you show me someone who’s went through the trials of life with joy and faith, and I’ll show you someone who leans into the wind instead of letting it carry him along. The trials of life mature us as believers.

[Bob checking live wires at LWC.]

The testing of our faith also reveals to us where we really are. Just how strong is our faith anyway. Our kids at school take educational tests all the time to see if they’re really learning what they’re being taught. The testing of our faith also reveals if we’re learning what we’re being taught. Of course, the testing of our faith is for our benefit – not God’s. He already knows if we’re learning and growing in our faith. The trials of life can reveal to ourselves if we’re really learning and growing like we should be.

So there are advantages of going through trials.

- Trials help us grow stronger

- Trials help us become more mature in the faith

- Trials help us evaluate our own faith’s progress

Understanding trial’s advantages helps us with our attitude towards the trial. And joy in

the midst of trials can help us go from bitter to better. But there’s something else that can help us with our attitude. It’s the realization that God gives us: [7]

III. Assistance for trials

[Read James 1:5-7.]

You know, there are a couple things that can really help a person when in the midst of the fires of life – wisdom and peace. Wisdom that helps you know what to do about it. And peace that calms your heart through the calamity. That’s where pure joy come from!

James says here that if we ask for wisdom we will receive it! God will give us wisdom to handle what He’s allowed to come into our lives. He doesn’t promise all the answers. He doesn’t promise immediate relief. He promises us wisdom – which is the practical application of God’s Truth in every day life. That’s what God promises to give us.

You know what else the Lord promises us? Peace.

[Read Philippians 4:6-7.]

This is that peace that transcend all understanding. You see someone going through a tough time but they aren’t falling apart; they aren’t getting bitter. It’s hard to understand except to say that the Lord is doing something miraculous in their life. A terrible thing has happened in their life, they put their trust in the Lord, and He has given them wisdom to know what to do about it and peace to calm their heart.

[Grandpa dying – God’s comfort story.]

You see, there is great assistance from the Lord when we go through trials. He will be there for us when we by faith go to Him and ask for help. He loves us so much! He will carry us when we can go no further.

Another thing that can help us with our attitude towards trials is the assurance that one day we’ll be with Him and there will be no more trials. There is: [8]

IV. Assurance through trials

[Read James 1:12.]

When he has stood the test. When his faith has spoken through his life that his faith is real. When his walk has backed up his talk and said loud and clear that his love for the Lord is real, there’s assurance that one day he’ll receive the crown of life and be in the presence of God. Isn’t that amazing? Isn’t that a huge source of joy and peace?

Once you make it through a trial with the right attitude, you find yourself blessed, or happy in the Lord. Your joy is full, your faith is stronger, and you’ve taken a step forward in spiritual maturity.

It’s almost like you proved to yourself that your faith is real and that one day you’re faith will be sight! One day you’ll be with Jesus! Let’s look at another passage that talks about this crown of life. Revelation chapter two is a message to a real church that existed in the region of Smyrna. God wanted to encourage those Christians there, and all Christians as well.

[Read Revelation 2:10.]

Isn’t it amazing how similar the passage in Revelation is to the one in James. Now remember, Revelation was written by the Apostle John some 40 – 50 years after James wrote his letter. So you have two different men writing Scripture some 50 years apart, written to two different generations of Christians, but the same message, inspired by the One True God.

The message of, you will go through tough times. You might even be killed for your faith. But rest assured, your earthly life isn’t the end. One day, you will receive the crown of life and be with me eternally. And guess what – the trials won’t follow you up here! Your soul will find it’s ultimate relief!

Isn’t that a great encouragement for our attitude towards the trials that come into our lives? One day, the trials will be no more. One day I’ll be with Jesus – the One who got me through all those trials in the first place! One day we’ll be able to thank Him face to face for getting us through the tough times in life. And one day he’ll say to us, “Enter into your rest good and faithful servant.” What a day that’ll be!

At times life is easy and the skies are always blue. But at times life is hard and you can’t see the sun because of all the storm clouds. Trials are inevitable for all of us don here on earth.

But what isn’t inevitable is how we’ll approach each trial. What will our attitude be? Will we allow the trial to make us bitter? Or will we allow the trial to make us better? The choice is ours and our alone.

We should have joy when trials come into our lives because we know that there’s an advantage for going through trials - they make us stronger in our faith.

We should have joy when trials come into our lives because we know that there’s assistance from the Lord t handle the trials – wisdom and peace are ours for the asking.

And we should have joy when trials come into our lives because we know that there’s the assurance that some day, some great day, there will be no more trials. No more pain, no more suffering, no more sorrow.

Do you have that kind of joy today? Or have life’s trials made a little bitter? Let’s these truths from God’s Word filter down into your soul and give you the inner peace to help you go from being bitter to better. Call on the Lord – He will hear and answer your prayers!

Do you have that assurance that some day you’ll be in the prescence of the Lord? Do you know that your soul is His? If you don’t then not only are you spiritually on your own down here on earth, but you have no assurance that some day you’ll be with Him eternally. If you’ve never come to Christ in faith then maybe today is the day that you quit putting Him off and turn to Him in faith. He will hear from Heaven and He will forgive you and give you the life He created you to have. [9]

I can think of no better illustration of how to have joy through trials than the true story of the circumstances leading up to the writing of the hymn “It is Well With My Soul” by Ho¬ra¬tio G. Spaf¬ford. As you watch this next video about that song let God’s Holy Spirit comfort you as you have need. [10]

[Play “The Story Behind the Song” dvd.]

I hope that life’s trials don’t steal your joy. I hope that bitterness never sets in you life. But if it already has, use these principles to go from bitter to better.

[Pray.]