INTRO: A lady walked up to a man and said, "If I was your wife I would feed you poison." The man replied, "If I was your husband I’d eat it."
Adam asked God, "Why did you have to make woman so beautiful?" God said, "So you’d fall in love with her. Then Adam asked, "But why did you have to make her so stupid?" God answered, "So she’d fall in love with you."
Relationships—sometimes we may think we don’t need them and don’t want to have them but in truth we all need relationships, every last one of us.
We’ve been going through a series on relationships builders. Healthy Relationships
Serving Loyalty Forgiveness Love Review for those who have not been here.
Pillar – Serving. We got a glimpse of the Lord’s life, in the last few hours. The scene showed his disciples bickering about who would be the greatest while Judas was out making a deal with the devil to turn the Lord over to the religious establishment.
-The Lord did something amazing. He began to wash their feet, something no one else wanted to do. That is truly serving.
Pillar 2 – Loyalty. We looked at the man Uriah who was loyal to his soldiers, his country, God, and the king. We learned loyalty will cost you something, it may cost you your life, but it will be remembered.
Pillar 3 – Forgiveness. Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me. Jesus instructs us that we need to forgive others; if we don’t, our Father in heaven will not forgive us.
Today we are going to take a look at Pillar 4 – that is Love.
TITLE: Relationship Builders
TEXT: 1 Corinthians 13:7, 8a
-There are so many things we could look at in this chapter on love. The great apostle called it the most excellent way in verse 1.
-We’re going to look at four things that describe the pillar of love.
I. Love always protects.
A. Always is a strange word—it means at all times, forever, perpetually, in any event.
1. The Amplified Bible phrases it this way. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes.
2. William Barclay: It is just possible that this may mean (love can cover anything) in the sense that it will never drag into the light of day the fruits and mistakes of others. It would far rather set about quietly mending things than publicly displaying and rebuking them.
Question: In our friendships do we look past our friends’ faults and mistakes, do we bear up under them? Or do we bring them into the light for all to see?
-Somehow we feel better when others are struggling.
B. The story that comes to my mind in looking at this concept, love always protects, is the story of David and Jonathan.
1. Jonathan was the son of King Saul who was the first king of Israel and ended up losing his kingship because of disobedience to God.
-David was anointed king as a teen but didn’t take over for many years because Saul had tremendous power.
2. David became more and more powerful. The people loved him while King Saul became more and more jealous and set in motion a plot to kill David. Jonathan found out, and then warned David, about what would happen.
-Jonathan went to his father and convinced him that David was no threat. He listened because of his son’s high praises.
3. On more than one occasion Jonathan protected David from his father’s wrath.
-David and Jonathan were very close friends. Jonathan protected David to the point of standing against his father, even risking his own safety. Saul tried to kill him because he sided with David.
TS:Love always protects, it covers the faults of others rather than delighting in them. II. Love always trusts. Love is completely trusting.
A.In relation to our fellow men, it means to always believe the best about other people.
1. A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he saw a woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?" "Yes," the woman replied. "Do you read your Bible every day?" She nodded her head yes. "Do you pray often?" The woman replied, "Yes." With that he asked his final question, "Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?"
B.Do we trust others?
1. Do we believe the best of other people, or do we see the negative side to everything?
-Are we like those who see the best in others? Or are we like those who focus on the worst in others?
2. If you focus on the negative, it’s going to be hard for you to trust others but realize love always trusts (that is believing the best about other people).
TS:The 3rd point about love.
III. Love always hopes.
A. Tammy read a story of what can happen if we can search out the best in people.
"Three Letters from Teddy" by Elizabeth Ballard
Teddy’s letter came today and now that I’ve read it, I will place it in my cedar chest with the other things that are important to my life.
"I wanted you to be the first to know."
I smiled as I read the words he had written and my heart welled with a pride that I had no right to feel.
I have not seen Teddy Stallard since he was a student in my fifth grade class fifteen years ago. It was early in my career, and I had only been teaching for two years.
From the first day he stepped into my classroom, I disliked Teddy. Teachers (although everyone knows differently) are not supposed to have favorites in a class, but most especially are they not to show dislike for a child, any child.
Nevertheless, every year there are one or two children that one cannot help but be attached to, for teachers are human, and it is human nature to like bright, pretty, intelligent people, whether they are ten years old or twenty-five. And sometimes, not too often, fortunately, there will be one or two students to whom the teacher just can’t seem to relate.
I had thought myself quite capable of handling my personal feelings along that line until Teddy walked into my life. There wasn’t a child I particularly liked that year, but Teddy was most assuredly the one I disliked.
He was dirty. Not just occasionally, but all the time. His hair hung low over his ears, and he actually had to hold it out of his eyes as he wrote papers in class. (And this was before it was fashionable to do so!) Too, he had a peculiar odor about him which I could never identify.
His physical faults were many, and his intellect left a lot to be desired, also. By the end of the first week I knew he was hopelessly behind the others. Not only was he behind; he was just plain slow! I began to withdraw from him immediately.
Any teacher will tell you that it’s more of a pleasure to teach a bright child. It is definitely more rewarding for one’s ego. But any teacher worth her credentials can channel work to the bright child, keeping him challenged and learning, while she puts her major effort on the slower one. Any teacher can do this. Most teachers do it, but I didn’t, not that year.
In fact, I concentrated on my best students and let the others follow along as best they could. Ashamed as I am to admit it, I took perverse pleasure in using my red pen; and each time I came to Teddy’s paper, the cross marks (and there were many) were always a little larger and a little redder with a flourish.
"Poor work!" I would write with a flourish.
While I did not actually ridicule the boy, my attitude was obviously quite apparent to the class, for he quickly became the class "goat", the outcast: the unlovable and the unloved.
He knew I didn’t like him, but he didn’t know why. Nor did I know—then or now—why I felt such an intense dislike for him. All I know is that he was a little boy no one cared about, and I made no effort on his behalf.
The days rolled by. We made it through the Fall Festival and the Thanksgiving holidays, and I continued marking happily with my red pen.
As the Christmas holidays approached, I knew that Teddy would never catch up in time to be promoted to the sixth grade level. He would be a repeater.
To justify myself, I went to his cumulative folder from time to time. He had very low grades for the first four years, but no grade failure. How he had made it, I didn’t know. I closed my mind to the personal remarks.
First grade: Teddy shows promise by work and attitude, but has poor home situation. Second grade: Teddy could do better. Mother terminally ill. He receives little help at home. Third grade: Teddy is a pleasant boy. Helpful, but too serious. Slow learner. Mother passed away end of the year. Fourth grade: Very slow, but well behaved. Father shows no interest.
Well, they had passed him four times, but he will certainly repeat fifth grade! Do him good! I said to myself.
And then the last day before the holiday arrived. Our little tree on the reading table sported paper and popcorn chains. Many gifts were heaped underneath, waiting for the big moment.
Teachers always get several gifts at Christmas, but mine that year seemed bigger and more elaborate than ever. There was not a student who had not brought me one. Each unwrapping brought squeals of delight, and the proud giver would receive effusive thank-yous.
His gift wasn’t the last one I picked up; in fact it was in the middle of the pile. Its wrapping was a brown paper bag, and he had colored Christmas trees and red bells all over it. It was stuck together with masking tape.
"For Miss Thompson, from Teddy" it read.
The group was completely silent and for the fist time I felt conspicuous, embarrassed because they all stood watching me unwrap the gift.
As I removed the last bit of masking tape, two items fell to my desk: a gaudy rhinestone bracelet with several stones missing and a small bottle of dime-store cologne—half empty.
I could hear the snickers and whispers, and I wasn’t sure I could look at Teddy.
"Isn’t this lovely?" I asked, placing the bracelet on my wrist. "Teddy, would you help me fasten it?"
He smiled shyly as he fixed the clasp, and I held up my wrist for all of them to admire.
There were a few hesitant ooh’s and ahh’s, but as I dabbed the cologne behind my ears, all the little girls lined up for a dab behind their ears.
I continued to open gifts until I reached the bottom of the pile. We ate our refreshments, and the bell rang.
The children filed out with shouts of "See you next year!" and "Merry Christmas!" but Teddy waited at his desk.
When they had all left, he walked up to me, clutching his book and books to his chest.
"You smell just like my mom," he said softly. "Her bracelet looks real pretty on you too. I’m glad you liked it."
He left quickly. I locked the door, sat down at my desk, and wept, resolving to make up to Teddy what I had deliberately deprived him of—a teacher who cared.
I stayed every afternoon with Teddy from the end of Christmas holidays until the last day of school. Sometimes we worked together. Sometimes he worked alone while I drew up lesson plans or graded papers.
Slowly but surely he caught up with the rest of the class. In fact, his final averages were among the highest in the class, and although I knew he would be moving out of state when school was out, I was not worried for him. Teddy had reached a level that would stand him in good stead the following year, no matter where he went. He had enjoyed a measure of success, and as we were taught in our teacher training courses, "Success builds success."
I did not hear from Teddy until seven years later, when his first letter appeared in my mailbox.
Dear Miss Thompson,
I just wanted you be the first to know, I will be graduating second in my class next month. Very Truly Yours,
Teddy Stallard
I sent him a card of congratulations and a small package, a pen and pencil gift set. I wondered what he would do after graduation.
Four years later, Teddy’s second letter came.
Dear Miss Thompson,
I wanted you to be the first to know. I was just informed that I’ll be graduating first in my class. The university has not been easy, but I liked it.
Very Truly Yours,
Teddy Stallard
I sent him a good pair of sterling silver monogrammed cuff links and a card, so proud of him I could burst!
And now today—Teddy’s third letter.
Dear Miss Thompson,
I wanted you to be the first to know. As of today I am Theodore Stallard, MD. How about that!!??
I’m going to be married in July, the 27th, to be exact. I wanted to ask if you could come and sit where Mom would sit if she were here. I’ll have no family there as Dad died last year. Very Truly Yours,
Teddy Stallard
I’m not sure what kind of gift one sends to a doctor on completion of medical school and state boards. Maybe I’ll just wait and take a wedding gift, but a note can’t wait.
Dear Ted,
Congratulations! You made it, and you did it yourself!! I spite of those like me and not because of us, this day has come for you.
God bless you. I’ll be at the wedding with bells on!
TS:4th point about love.
IV. Love always perseveres.
A.In the original language it is more than just hanging on, or just bearing up under things. -It’s the idea of conquering.
1. George Matheson who lost his sight as well as the love of his life wrote in one of his prayers that he might accept God’s will "not with dumb resignation but with holy joy; not only with the absence of murmur but with a song of praise."
2. Love can bear things, not just hanging on but to conquer whatever is set before you. B. In your friendships
-Does your love protect,
-Does your love trust,
-Does your love hope,
-Does your love persevere?
-If this is the case your friendships will be strong and dependable because love never fails.
