Summary: Controlling our tongues

Pierced Tongue

What kinds of words are careless and dishonor the Lord?

Words that are Gossip

Words that are Unwholesome

Words that are Lies

What kinds of words are thoughtful and glorify the Lord?

Words that Forgive

Words that Encourage

Words that are True and Loving

Slide 1

Gossip

Four preachers met for a friendly gathering.

Thought it would be good to confess sins to one another.

Pastor 1 would sneak off occasionally to a bar outside of town and get drunk

Pastor 2 liked to go gambling.

Pastor 3 was addicted to smoking and would leave the church regularly to go have a smoke.

Pastor 4 did not want to confess what His big sin was.

Finally, He said, “Well, I guess I should have gone first. You see, I am an incurable gossip and I can hardly wait to get out of here!”

Source unknown

While we laugh at that humorous story, if you have been on the end of being gossiped about or lied about, you can understand the destruction that can be caused by what comes out of some people’s mouths and gossip is only one example.

Thus our next area of Extreme Makeover will focus on our mouths, specifically our tongues.

In our Extreme Makeover series, we have had a couple of interesting makeovers already.

We have had a heart transplant

An ear augmentation, (our ears enlarged) and

We have gone from 20/20 to “cross”-eyed.

These are the things God wants to do to us to make our life better.

So far, we may not be looking like we hoped, but we have been finding out that making our life better is more about being in close relationship with God than about the external appearance of our bodies.

So, that being said, the next makeover that I believe God would like to do on us is to give us Pierced Tongues.

Slide 2

Pierced tongues? Not pierced tongues like you see in some today with a stud in their tongue. But a pierced tongue so that we would be less likely to use our tongue to inflict damage on others as well as ourselves.

Something that would help to keep our tongue pinned to our mouths in moments when we want to blurt stuff out or say something inappropriate.

Turn to James 3:1-10. Let’s read about what James tells us about the tongue.

James 3:1-10 (p. 855)

1 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

I am certain that each one of us have had evil things come out of our mouths. But as James tells us, this should not be.

The first step in overcoming the tongue is having our hearts changed. I began this series with a message about a heart transplant. We need to have a new heart. A heart of flesh given to us when we receive Jesus Christ as Savior.

If you have never received Jesus as your Savior, we will never really be able to have control over our tongues.

Matthew 12:34 says, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Our heart needs to be changed if our tongues are to be ultimately controlled.

But after that, many still struggle with their tongues. To see our tongues pierced, controlled by the Lord, we need to be willing to let Him control it. And if we are going to do that, there are several things that we need to understand about the tongue.

The Words that we Speak...

Slide 3

affect our entire life

James 3:6

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

shows the reality of our Christianity

Slide 4

James 1:26

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

Will judge us

Slide 5

Matthew 12:36

But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

The careless words that we speak not only hurt others, but they dishonor the Lord.

Knowing these things, we need to continually check to see if we are in need of a tongue piercing.

To know if we need a tongue piercing, we need to know

What kinds of words are careless and dishonor the Lord?

Slide 6

We need to know that so we can avoid that type of talk with our tongue.

The first area I want to talk about are

Words that are Gossip

Slide 7

Romans 1:29, in talking about sinful people who have turned away from God, talks about some of the sins they participate in. It says

29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips

Gossip is sin.

When we discuss someone behind their back, we are gossiping.

When we pass along information that could damage someone, we are gossiping

We need to ask ourselves the following questions before we talk about someone else.

These questions form an acronym - THINK

• T—Is it true?

• H—Is it helpful?

• I—Is it inspiring?

• N—Is it necessary?

• K—Is it kind?

If we can’t answer any of these in the positive, then we should think twice about saying anything.

Proverbs 20:19 tells us

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

This sin is one that can really do great damage with in the body of Christ. This is a sin that Satan uses in our lives because so often if we are bad mouthing someone else, we tend to feel superior to them.

Understand that this does not glorify the Lord and be cautious to avoid this type of talk.

A second area of words that are careless and dishonor the Lord are

Words that are Unwholesome

Slide 8

Ephesians 4:29

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Another translation says let no “corrupt word proceed out of your mouth.”

The living Bible translates it

29 Don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing. (The Living Bible)

The word translated unwholesome here has the meaning of rotten or putrid

Or unfit for use.

Colossians 3:8

8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

Eph 5:3-4

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

When we use language that those around us find offensive, we are not bringing glory to the Lord.

When we tell crude and course jokes, we are not bringing glory to the Lord.

When our language tears people down, we are not bringing glory to the Lord.

When we take the Lord’s name in vain.

What is that. That is using the name God or Jesus in ways that are flippant or in any manner when you are not talking about the person of God or to God.

We need to remove from our language swear words.

These things come off of our lips so easily sometimes. Especially for guys but for women too.

Laura at Party

Remove vulgarities or obscenities from your language so you don’t dishonor the Lord.

A third area of words that are careless and dishonor the Lord are

Words that are Lies

Slide 9

Colossians 3:9-10

9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Ephesians 4:25

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully

Psalm 51:6

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;

Psalm 120:2

2 Save me, O LORD, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.

Why do people lie?

People lie because they think they can avoid trouble.

People lie to make themselves look good.

People lie to benefit themselves.

But lying does none of those things for the long haul.

Weatherman

Bob Harris, weatherman for NY TV station WPIX-TV and the nationally syndicated independent Network news, had to weather a public storm of his own making in 1979. Though he had studied math, physics and geology at three colleges, he left school without a degree but with a strong desire to be a media weatherman. He phoned WCBS-TV, introducing himself as a Ph.D. in geophysics from Columbia U. The phony degree got him in the door. After a two-month tryout, he was hired as an off-camera forecaster for WCBS. For the next decade his career flourished. He became widely known as "Dr. Bob." He was also hired by the New York Times as a consulting meteorologist.

Forty years of age and living his childhood dream, he found himself in public disgrace and national humiliation when an anonymous letter prompted WCBS management to investigate his academic credentials. Both the station and the New York Times fired him. His story got attention across the land. He was on the Today Show, the Tomorrow Show, and in People Weekly, among others. He thought he’d lose his home and never work in the media again. WNEW-TV gave him a job. He admits it was a dreadful mistake on his part and doubtless played a role in his divorce. "I took a shortcut that turned out to be the long way around, and one day the bill came due. I will be sorry as long as I am alive."

When we

allow lies to leave our lips

let unwholesome language find place in our vocabulary,

let gossip rule our conversation,

Even if we think it is harmless, we give the devil an entrance point into our life. We open ourselves up to attack.

In the midst of talk on lying and on unwholesome talk, Paul tells the Corinthians to don’t do those things because it gives Satan a foothold in your life.

Ephesians 4:27

do not give the devil a foothold.

Flee from those things.

Moving on

So we see that words that are gossip, that are unwholesome and that are lies dishonor the Lord and usually bring problems to our own life.

We see that we

need to have our tongues pierced so that we can

have better control over what we say.

The problem is that no man can tame the tongue as James tells us. Man may not be able to, but with the power of the Holy Spirit we can tame our tongues.

Proverbs 10:19

he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 21:23

23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

Let’s

keep ourselves from calamity and

refrain from words that are careless and dishonor the Lord and move on to words that are thoughtful and glorify the Lord.

So,

What kinds of words are thoughtful and glorify the Lord?

Slide 10

Those are the types of words we want to use

Those are what we want to use to replace words that are careless and dishonor the Lord.

So first off, let’s replace words that are Gossip with

Words that Forgive

Slide 11

Colossians 3:13

13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Often times, when we hear

gossip, or

rumors, or the

latest juicy details

on someone else, it is usually something negative and something that makes us angry or think poorly of someone else.

This is what often leads us to tell someone else what we have heard.

Instead of getting angry or thinking poorly, we need to

think forgivingly and be ready to forgive with our words and actions.

Counseling

As a pastor, I do quite a bit of counseling. And if there is one thing I have learned,

there are always facts, or information that is important and that is not contained in the things you have heard.

Whenever 1 person tells me their side, I know there is another side.

Whenever I hear a rumor or gossip, I try not to let it shade my thinking because I suspect there are things that I just don’t know.

So I forgive what I hear.

I give the benefit of the doubt.

If it is someone that I am in close relationship with,

I will talk to them about it.

If it is someone I don’t know very well, I forgive and try to stop the rumor by saying,

“Well there are things we just don’t know that may be going on in that person’s life or other important facts that we don’t know. Forgive, if there is anything to forgive and continue on and do not let it hinder your view of that person.

Do not give Satan a foothold.

Secondly, we also need to Replace words that are unwholesome with

Words that Encourage

Slide 12

Ephesians 4:29

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Romans 14:19

19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

The words that we let roll off of our tongues should be encouraging other people.

Instead of using words that offend, use words that build up

When someone makes a mistake, don’t scream and cuss them out, encourage them to do better next time.

Look for ways to make someone’s day.

Let them know they did a good job with something.

Let them know how something they did positively affected you.

Don’t just tell people when something is not right, let them know when things are going well.

The Complainer

Have you ever had a person that you always knew had a complaint about something? Whenever you saw them, you knew you were going to be hearing how things weren’t just right in some area. You never heard about the areas where things were going well.

Don’t be that person. Be an encourager

When you are an encourager, people will want to be around you.

Fill your speech with words that encourage.

Finally, you want to replace words that are lies with

Words that are True and Loving

Slide 13

Psalm 51:6

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;

Ephesians 4:15

15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

God wants us to be truthful.

We glorify God when we are truthful.

We do however have to speak truth in a loving way.

All of our communication needs to be sprinkled with love.

1 Corinthians 13:1

13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If we don’t have love, our communication is just noise.

Sometimes we speak the truth, but unlovingly.

Husbands and wives, are you communicating truth in love or are you seeking to tear down the other person when you are angry?

Other times we think we may be loving someone by lying.

We need to be willing to talk truth to people.

It is going to be hard sometimes.

Often we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings.

We don’t do any favors to people when we are not honest with them.

I struggle myself with this issue sometimes.

I don’t like anyone to feel bad about something, but sometimes people are just not designed to do certain things.

Honest enough to let people go

When I worked at the CME, the job I did was not especially hard. But there were times that you were absolutely inundated with trades to make.

These times occurred probably several times a month and the rest of the time, things were pretty quiet. So much that you could probably have taught a monkey to do it.

The reason my company paid me or anyone, was not that I could do the job the 90% of the time it was slow. The people who worked in that environment got paid well because they could operate under intense pressure without losing it the other 10% of the time.

There were some people who just could not deal with that.

It did not make them any less of a person or anything else, but it was better for them to learn early that they really would not work out in this job.

It would be better for the company and the person to find a job in a different environment. So there were times we had to tell people that and let them go.

That honesty saved a lot of people a lot of frustration and allowed them to get into professions were they could be pursuing a career instead of treading water.

Speak the truth, but speak it in a loving way with loving motives.

Conclusion

Have you seen areas in our own speech today that you need to let the Lord pierce your tongue in.

Maybe it is in the area of gossip or of unwholesome language or maybe it is even with lying.

Let Him pierce your tongue so that you can replace that kind of speech with forgiveness, and encouragement and truth and love.

Let’s Pray.