INTRO>In 1966, Robert Bolt’s play was made into a movie of the same name. A Man For All Seasons was a movie about Sir Thomas More. More, a member of the elite Privy Council of the Roman Catholic Church, refused to give his okay to King Henry VIII’s divorce to his wife and subsequent marriage to Ann Bolyn. Ultimately his refusal to go against his beliefs and conscience led to his being beheaded. But along the way, he stood out as an inspiration to the “common citizens” of England and spoke some very profound words. One of those, which is especially timely right now, was in reply to Cardinal Woolsey who chastised More, telling him “if only you could see facts flat on without your horrible moral squint, you might have made a statesman.” More replied with words our politicians should remember even today, “I think that when statesmen forsake their own private consciences for the sake of their public duties, they lead their country by a short route to chaos.”
<>We need more men like Thomas More...more men who are Men of Integrity, who refuse to bow to the ways of the world, who refuse to compromise their Biblical convictions, and who refuse to be anything less than the man God has created them to be, calls them to be, and whose family, church, and society needs them to be.
->Today, I want us to identify what kind of man that is, what God wants a man to do, and how the women and children around him can help.
->I invite you to open your Bible again to Ephesians, chapter 5.
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---ILL>The story is told about a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. Then one stormy, Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone on the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?
---The answer: The perfect woman. Because, after all, she’s the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect man.
---The men’s response to the answer: If there is no such thing as a perfect man or Santa Clause, then the perfect woman must have been driving....which explains why there was a car accident.
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<>There is nothing short of a war going on in our society, a war attacking the very notion of what masculinity is.
->In the past 45 years, with the rise of feminism (and there are some good things that have come about with feminism), and the increased emphasis on the equality of men and women, there has been a correlating decline in the understanding of what being a man is all about.
--Consequently, it should come as no surprise that we’re now experiencing an all-time high of fatherless homes.
---QUOTE>William Bennett said is succinctly in his 1986 speech on the family: ”Where are all the fathers?...Generally, the mothers are there struggling because for nine out of ten children in single parent homes, the father is the one who isn’t there. One-fifth of all American children (the total today would be one in four) live in homes without fathers...Where are the fathers? Where are the men? Wherever they are, this much is clear: too many are not with their children.”
->In the same way, it is no surprise we’re experiencing an all-time high in the number of cases of domestic violence, and a general confusion on the part of men as to what they’re supposed to do and not to do.
<>Of course, the answer to those questions, and the solution to the ills involved in the decay of the traditional family is found in God’s Word, in God’s design and intention for men...and how men can be MEN FOR ALL SEASONS.
-->Note: Ladies, it is in no way our intention to slight you or play down your God-given importance in our society, in our families and churches, but today our focus is on the men, and what it truly means to be a man for all seasons.
<>When we take into account the full counsel of God’s Word on this issue, both Old and New Testaments, we can summarize it all in saying there are four primary responsibilities God has assigned to men.
->It is also how God “wired” men in order for them to fulfill their Godly purpose and function effectively in God’s design for them.
<>When all four of these roles are being properly handled, the family is happy, the wife is content, and God is being glorified.
However, if a man allows any one of these to become off-centered, out-of-balance, the family is in danger of collapsing.
->So the goal for each man is to be solid in all these roles, and for the wives and children to supportive and helpful to him as he pursues them.
FOUR PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES, FOUR EXPECTATIONS, FOUR ROLES GOD HAS ASSIGNED TO MEN...
1) MANLY PROTECTOR, WARRIOR.
--Mt.12:29 -- ”Or, how can anyone enter the strong man’s house and carry off his property, unless he first binds the strong man?”
<>God has given to men the role of protecting the family, providing security and safety for his wife and children.
-->There’s a reason why the Bible instructs husbands to treat their wives tenderly, as a weaker vessel. It isn’t because women are helpless or have no strength of their own (anyone who has been present at the moment of a woman giving birth to a baby knows better than that), but it is because it is the man’s responsibility to provide an umbrella of protection.
-->God has placed within each man a warrior...a “bent” toward being aggressive and protective.
-->The danger is if the warrior pillar is out-of-balance, the man can lean toward being a brute and being abusive, or being passive and a weakling, putting the family in danger by being unprotected.
----If that occurs, it becomes the duty of other, faithful men to be warriors enough to confront their friend, and help him back to balance.
Applications:
--a) Ladies, LET him protect you.
----Let him keep that warrior spirit alive within him.
----Don’t emasculate him...don’t try to make him into another of your girlfriends...he’s a man.
----The warrior is not a popular figure in today’s society, and that’s understandable to a degree, particularly from those who have experienced life around men whose warrior pillar has leaned too far to the brute.
But there is a warrior inside of every man...and that can’t be simply washed away.
---QUOTE>Someone has rightly noted that ”When most men are soft, a few hard men will rule.”
----So the answer is not to deny the fact, but to channel the warrior energy to constructive ends.
b) Guys, step up, “man up” and defend your wife and children.
--That means stand up and defend your wife and children from profanity and crude talk.
--Stand up and protect your daughter from young men who might not have her best interests at heart.
--It also means sometimes having to be a warrior in protecting your children from themselves, and from a society run amok with its lack of discipline.
--It means being a warrior even if it might make you unpopular for awhile when you establish rules that might be more strict than other parents.
---ILL>Recently a “wimpy” dad was overheard instructing his much-too-young-to-be-dating daughter, saying, “Young lady, are to be home by the time the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 9.” -- Like I said, that’s way too young.
--And it means, gentlemen, you are to be sure you’ve protected your family’s financial security in case something were to happen to you.
2) LOVING LEADER, SERVANT.
Eph.5:25 -- ”Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
-Guys, understand, there’s a big difference between leading, providing leadership to your wife and kids versus dominating or being a dictator.
--Yes, you’re to be a leader, but a servant leader...leading by way of loving them and serving them, meeting their needs.
--The danger here is if a man allows this pillar to be out-of-balance, the man can become a tyrant or an abdicator.
-->You don’t have to look far to see these out-of-balance examples all around us...
----The tyrant who rules his household from a basis of fear.
----Or the opposite: the man who provides no manly leadership, forcing his wife to do his job, make the tough choices, carry his load.
-->It can be very difficult for some men to strike that proper balance.
---ILL>Don Epperson has come up with what he calls “Epperson’s Law” -- “When a man says it’s a silly, childish game, it’s probably something his wife can beat him at.”
<>However, when your family knows you love them, and your love is shown by being unafraid to sacrifice and serve, they are much more willing to follow you, submit to your leadership, and respect you.
---ILL>Some years ago a woman married an overbearing man. That man printed up a list of rules he “required” her to follow...everything from how to cook pancakes, hang his shirts, clean the house, what she could and couldn’t wear, etc. As a Christian lady, she obeyed. However, when the man died, some years later she met and married a fine Christian man who loved her just as she was. One day she “discovered” the old list from her previous marriage, and realized...she was doing everything on the list...but this time she was doing them because she wanted to...because she loved to please her husband...and because he loved and respected her.
-->Guys, it’s not unmanly to be gentle...not unmanly to serve...it takes more of a man to do those things, in fact.
-->There was never a more powerful, influential leader than Jesus, but He led by serving...and He gave Himself for us.
-->Consequently, men, Jesus is our model...we’re to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving ourselves for them.
3) MENTORING TEACHER, GUIDE.
Eph.6:4 -- ”And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
<>Gentlemen, God has wired us to provide direction for our families...to “point the way” as guides.
--It requires us to get out front and lead as God intended us to lead...deliberately, prayerfully.
<>But God has also wired you to be a teacher...to pass along valuable lessons to your children and the next generation.
--It’s interesting to note that in Ephesians 6 it is the fathers who are instructed to bring the children up in the instruction of the Lord.
--It’s not to say that moms shouldn’t teach also but, dads, it’s to you that God specifically instructed to be a teacher and guide.
<>Dads, in order to teach your children, you have to spend time with your children.
----It’s an investment that is more important than any financial transaction you might be involved in.
<>Dads, in order to teach your children, you have to know them, you have to be aware of their level of comprehension.
----Don’t “overload” them with stuff they can’t yet understand, but don’t deprive them of valuable lessons they can “get.”
<>Dads, your greatest lessons will be taught by your example.
----Your kids will remember more of what’s caught than what’s taught.
----They’ll remember what you did long after they’ve forgotten what you said.
----And if your actions don’t back up what you’re teaching your kids, they’ll be “provoked to anger” and won’t obey.
----If your actions do back your teaching up, your children will remember the lessons forever because they’ll already have a model to remember, an example to follow, and they’ll find the lessons much easier to apply to their own lives.
4) FAITHFUL FRIEND, PARTNER.
Gen.2:22 -- ”So the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.”
<>Guys, God has wired each of us to need the companionship, the help of our wives as lifetime partners, and of other men as friends.
-->And, He wants us to prove ourselves to be friends and partners with them.
<>Our wives are our equals...not our inferiors in any way...and we’re to recognize that this equality comes from God.
-->We’re not their bosses, we’re their partners.
<>We’re to be husbands...the same word as gardener...doing what it takes to help her bloom and blossom into the beautiful being she can be.
-->That means it will require us to do some important, although “dirty work”...to be willing to work at our relationship.
<>Your wife needs you to be her partner.
-->She needs you to be the man God created you to be...to help her in ways only you as a man can.
----Offering a man’s perspective on issues as she helps you with a woman’s perspective.
----To be her intimate companion...holding close to yourself the secrets only the two of you should share.
<>She also needs you to be a faithful, reliable, dependable, true friend as well as her lover.
<>And, as men, God has placed within us the need for and the ability to be friends, part of a “band of brothers” with other men.
--1Sam.18:1 -- ”Now it came about that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.”
-->You don’t have to look very hard to see that...
----Any man who has served in the military will tell you the friendships forged in the military are dynamic, important to him.
----Any athlete after retirement from his sport will tell you what he misses most is the camaraderie with the other players.
<>As we close today, it’s important to note how our example in all four roles in Jesus...
->As protector / warrior..
----He went straight into battle on our behalf and won the victory for our souls.
----And, He sealed us, and protects our eternal position with Him....no one can pluck us out of the Father’s hands.
->As servant leader...
----He laid down His life for us, came not seeking to be served, but to serve.
->As teacher and guide...
----He taught in parables so the people could understand, and showed the way so we can follow.
->And, as faithful friend...
----He is our Friend who stays closer than a brother.
BRINGING IT HOME...
<>Ladies, God has called you to be a help-mate, to be supportive of your husband.
--Are you?
<>Guys, are you fulfilling the roles God called you to fulfill?
--Are you being the man your family needs, the leader your church and society needs?
--Are you willing to “buck the trend?”...willing to be the warrior, servant, teacher, friend God wants you to be?
<>If so, it can be said of you, as it was of Sir Thomas More...you too are a MAN FOR ALL SEASONS.
