Summary: 5 Relationships You Can’t Live Without! Each of these relationships are crucial for you to live a healthy and successful life!

“5”

Part 2 – You Need A Butt Kicker

Carl Brashear, was born in 1931 to sharecroppers. He decided to join the Navy in an attempt to better himself. He was the first African American to attend and graduate from U.S. Navy Diving & Salvage School. Master Chief Brashear was the first African-American to make the rank of U.S. Navy Master Diver.

In January 1966, a hydrogen bomb was lost off the coast of Palomares, Spain after two U.S. Air Force planes collided during a refueling attempt. The Navy was called in to find and recover the bomb; and after 2-1/2 months of searching, the bomb was found. On March 23, 1966, during recovery operations, a line used for towing broke loose, causing a pipe to strike Brashear’s left leg below the knee, nearly shearing it off. He was evacuated to the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth, Virginia. After persistent infections and facing years of recovery, Brashear convinced his doctors to amputate the lower portion of his leg. The scene we watched is the depiction of what took place when Carl Brashear became the first amputee to be certified as a diver. In the movie a Master Chief by the name of Captain Billy Sunday drives Brashear to overcome his disability. The character in the movie was actually a compilation of several men who Brashear came into contact with in the Navy.

This movie speaks to this truth that each and every one of us needs a particular relationship in our life. Now the problem is I can’t say b word. So, I have some help this morning to preach. We all need a “butt kicker” in our life.

We need someone who can have a “come to Jesus meeting with us”, someone who can jerk a knot in our chain, someone who can straighten us up and out. We have to have someone who can give us the stink eye when we need it. We need someone who can kick us in the seat of our pants and get us moving in the right direction again.

Aaron was an eleven-year-old boy whose behavior was described by Dr. William Glasser, his psychiatrist, as horrible. In his book, Reality Therapy, Glasser says Aaron was the most obnoxious child he had ever met. The boy would kick, scream, run away and hide, become withdrawn, disrupt his classes and make everyone disgusted with him. Dr. Glasser saw one problem with Aaron that no one else observed: "No one had ever told him that he was doing wrong." No one had ever set limits on what he could do and not do. The psychiatrist decided to try a completely new tack. The boy would have to behave, to act reasonable, or be punished. He became courteous, well behaved, and his miserable grades went to straight A’s. For the first time in his life Aaron began to play constructively with other children, to enjoy honest relationships with others, and to stop blaming his troubles on his mother or other people. Dr. Glasser calls this "reality therapy" and says one of an individual’s greatest needs is to be made to realize that he is personally responsible for what he does and that right behavior accomplishes more than wrong behavior.

There are several examples in Scripture of people who need some reality therapy. These people who needed someone to come along and kick their rear, but there was no one or it happened later in their life:

Samson - where was his dad or a friend who would stand up and say you are out of control and you’re playing with fire? You’re going to get caught. You’re dating life is out of control.

Absalom - where was the person that could say you are headed down a path of destruction? Quit acting like a Jerry Springer family and go work things out with your dad.

Jonah – where was the man or woman in his life that would stand up and say don’t run from God or it won’t go WHALE I mean well for you!

Woman at Well – This woman needed someone earlier on in her life who said you know what your relationship skills need help. Find the common denominator of your issue! It might be that you need to work on you before you try to work on an "us" again.

Paul – He needed a butt kicker who could approach his cocky rear and say you know you have watched too many violent movies. You aren’t Rambo! Quit trying to kill everyone who doesn’t think like you.)

What we discover is Scripture is that it was those who had a butt kicker in their life even when they messed up they were able to survive and come back from the mistake.

Perhaps the two greatest examples of a b kicker in scripture are in 2 Samuel and Exodus.

2 Samuel 12:1-9, 13-14

1and the Lord sent Nathan to David. Nathan said to him, “There were two men in the same city—one rich, the other poor. 2The rich man had huge flocks of sheep, herds of cattle. 3The poor man had nothing but one little female lamb, which he had bought and raised. It grew up with him and his children as a member of the family. It ate off his plate and drank from his cup and slept on his bed. It was like a daughter to him. 4“One day a traveler dropped in on the rich man. He was too stingy to take an animal from his own herds or flocks to make a meal for his visitor, so he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared a meal to set before his guest.” 5David exploded in anger. “As surely as GOD lives,” he said to Nathan, “the man who did this ought to be lynched! 6He must repay for the lamb four times over for his crime and his stinginess!” 7“You’re the man!” said Nathan. “And here’s what GOD, the God of Israel, has to say to you: I made you king over Israel. I freed you from the fist of Saul. 8I gave you your master’s daughter and other wives to have and to hold. I gave you both Israel and Judah. And if that hadn’t been enough, I’d have gladly thrown in much more. 9So why have you treated the word of GOD with brazen contempt, doing this great evil? You murdered Uriah the Hittite, then took his wife as your wife. Worse, you killed him with an Ammonite sword! 13Then David confessed to Nathan, “I’ve sinned against GOD.” Nathan pronounced, “Yes, but that’s not the last word. GOD forgives your sin. You won’t die for it. 14But because of your blasphemous behavior, the son born to you will die.”

Exodus 18:13-24

13The next day Moses took his place to judge the people. People were standing before him all day long, from morning to night. 14When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What’s going on here? Why are you doing all this, and all by yourself, letting everybody line up before you from morning to night?” 15Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me with questions about God. 16When something comes up, they come to me. I judge between a man and his neighbor and teach them God’s laws and instructions.” 17Moses’ father-in-law said, “This is no way to go about it. 18You’ll burn out, and the people right along with you. This is way too much for you—you can’t do this alone. 19Now listen to me. Let me tell you how to do this so that God will be in this with you. Be there for the people before God, but let the matters of concern be presented to God. 20Your job is to teach them the rules and instructions, to show them how to live, what to do. 21And then you need to keep a sharp eye out for competent men—men who fear God, men of integrity, men who are incorruptible—and appoint them as leaders over groups organized by the thousand, by the hundred, by fifty, and by ten. 22They’ll be responsible for the everyday work of judging among the people. They’ll bring the hard cases to you, but in the routine cases they’ll be the judges. They will share your load and that will make it easier for you. 23If you handle the work this way, you’ll have the strength to carry out whatever God commands you, and the people in their settings will flourish also.” 24Moses listened to the counsel of his father-in-law and did everything he said.

David has sinned and hidden it. He committed adultery and things he has made all the right moves to cover it up. The only problem is that he has a butt kicker in his life. Nathan marches into the throne room and reads David’s mail. He tells him exactly how the cow ate the cabbage!

Moses has fallen ill. His disease is called the Messiah Complex. He has come to the conclusion that he is the man. He is the only one smart enough, talented enough, spiritual enough, man enough to handle the business of Israel. He has the big head. His ego has taken over. But fortunately for Moses his father-in-law Jethro knew how to kick butts and take names. In a matter of a few minutes, Jethro assess the situation and sets Moses straight.

We need people in our lives that can set us straight!

You may already have someone in your life like this that you thought was a gift from the devil. You need to recognize this morning that God gives us those kinds of people. You may have never had someone like this in your life or you may need someone like this right now. Let me give you some pointers on how to spot this person and how to know if they are in it to help you rather than to hurt you.

There are several things that a God sent butt kicker does:

1. Tell us truth.

However, they do it in a loving way (even though the language may sound harsh).

They aren’t concerned about catching you in sin. They are concerned about you catching yourself in sin. Make us own up to the real truth even if we have been trying to hide it. This truth isn’t an attempt to cause you pain it is an attempt to bring change.

They are brutally honest. They don’t let us slide by. There is no gray area. How many of you know the truth will set you free? What we have failed to realize is that the truth often hurts before it sets you free!

This eye opening truth is so important because Proverbs says, “If you hide your sins, you will not succeed. If you confess and reject them, you will receive mercy.” (Prov.28:13)

2. They speak when God says to speak.

2 Samuel 12:1. And the Lord sent Nathan.

These aren’t busy bodies that are nit picking and opinionated. These are not those people who can figure everyone else’s life out but their own! These aren’t critics, finger pointers who have an answer when no one asked them a question. They don’t have an axe to grind. You have met folks who always have something to say and it doesn’t matter if they are in relationship with you or not they feel the need to comment on your whole life. That isn’t this person.

This person is a God sent butt kicker who in most cases even hates to say anything, but because of the divine mandate choose to override their own discomfort to speak what God says to say.

Video – Hancock (available at www.wingclips.com)

3. They force us to move past our excuses.

Hancock is a superhero that has gone bad. He has become lazy and developed bad habits. Did you hear what Hancock said when he was confronted about the children? Have you ever put out an apartment fire? That was an excuse. It was a reason that his actions were justifiable.

David could have made excuses. I’m the king. It’s not my fault she was the one taking the bath. God made her to pretty so it is His fault. Moses could have said, "You don’t understand these guys were slaves if they could handle this stuff they would have escaped a long time ago." Have you forgotten I am the only one here that has a degree from Pharaoh University?

We specialize in excuses. I was dealt a bad hand. My whole family is like this. It is worse at my house. No one else has to deal with what I have to deal with.

A kicker specializes in the truth. We can justify anything. A kicker won’t let us make our wrong OK. Excuses are like – everyone has one.

If we aren’t careful we will excuse lust, hate, laziness, anger, gossip, stealing, you name it we can excuse it.

Notice that neither David nor Moses made any excuses. When a butt kicker is standing in front of you saying, “you’re the man” or “get a grip” or “you’re out of your mind” you can’t really make excuses any more.

Too many of us are completely surrounded by people in our lives that will ignore our issues, laugh or giggle at our issues. They just won’t address our issues. They continue to let us fall, let us struggle, let us get hurt. A kicker will step up and speak out and refuse to let us excuse our behavior, actions, or thoughts!

4. They make you mad! But they will also make you stop, sit down, shut up and think.

A butt kicker will as you the hard questions. Questions that challenge, convict, and correct. You will become perturbed. You will get angry. You will want to kill them. If it wasn’t for that pesky Nathan I was home free! Sounds like the villains on Scooby Doo, doesn’t it? If it wasn’t for those pesky kids! A butt kicker will bother you. That is what a butt kicker does. They will make you want to hit something or someone! But the good news is also that they will make you stop dead in your tracks, sit down, close your mouth and think about what you are doing. They help us take stock of our choices.

Naaman had a butt kicker in his life. Remember his servant? Naaman is the second most powerful man in Syria. He controls all the armies of Syria. But now he has leprosy and will die. So he goes to visit Elisha in hopes of being healed. The problem is that he leaves offended rather than healed because Elisha refuses to come out and talk to this might, powerful, egotistical man. And then he even has the audacity to tell him to dip in the Jordan to be healed. The Jordan is nasty. This guy is ticked. He is fuming. When a butt kicker who had enough guts to speak up got under his skin or in this case got him new skin. Servant says dude shut up! If he had said do something hard you would have done it. Go dip in the muddy water. Muddy water verses clean healing. What’s the big deal? Get over yourself. Naaman was mad, but the servant got him to stop, sit down, shut up and think!

Who can make you stop? Who gets you to sit down and shut up long enough to think about what you are doing or saying?

5. Make you live life smarter

Nathan helps David come clean so that he doesn’t have to live the rest of his life looking over his shoulder and remembering which lie he told to whom. Jethro kicks Moses’ rear out of being a workaholic and control freak. He challenges him to work smarter rather than harder.

A butt kicker is essential for us because they help us live our lives smarter!

6. Cause you to change your course.

They won’t let us stay the same. That is what makes this person different than a nagger. A nagger just nags you all the time and you do nothing. A butt kicker refuses to allow you to remain the same. Rattle your chain. Make you uncomfortable enough to take action and change. They are welcome intruders who specialize in course correction. They become like Spiritual GPS units. They are sent by God to help us get back on course and to make the right decisions. David repents. Moses delegates. Without them we are lost and continue to wander aimlessly and dangerously.

If you live without a kicker you live on the edge of the cliff, one step from losing everything, no checks and balance life. You are almost assuredly doomed to failure and to crash and burn. You will fall into apathy, sin, and you will waste years of your life.

Without a butt kicker in your life you will wind up like Samson. Spirit of God had departed and he didn’t even know it.

Who can stop you in your tracks? Who do you have that will tell you the truth and get you to reveal the truth? Who can you to sit down, shut up, fess up, clean up, and move up? Who can get you to admit that the problem is you not someone else? Who asks you the hard questions? Who has an all access pass into your private life?

Aren’t always fun to have around but they are crucial to living a good life. David understood this. He appreciated Nathan. In fact, David named one of his sons Nathan. Jesus came through the bloodline David’s son Nathan.

Let me challenge you this morning. You need a butt kicker in your life. You need someone who will point their finger in your life and say “It’s you! It’s not somebody else. It’s you.” You have to allow someone in your life to have this kind of access if you want to have a healthy life.

But not only do you need someone like this in your life you also need to be willing to be used by God as a butt kicker. I will tell you that if you allow God to use you this way you won’t always be liked or understood. Your motives will be misjudged. You usually won’t be respected until a long time afterwards. However, if you will operate in line with the 5 things I mentioned today you might just help someone live a better life! Someone may even name a kid after you!

Prayer

1. That we will be open to a butt kicker.

2. That God will give us someone we can trust to tell us the truth in love.

3. Jesus is a butt kicker. He came to convict the world not condemn it. You may need him to kick you out of sin this morning. He can do it.

Prayer for 3 things.