Summary: An examination of the 8th commandment and what it means for building healthy relationships when we don’t take from those relationships, but work to give.

Give and Take (Exodus 20:15)

There is an old story about two neighbors, a baker and a farmer, who didn’t get along very well. You see, the baker was suspicious of the farmer, suspecting that he wasn’t getting his money’s worth when he paid for a pound of butter. He weighed the farmer’s butter on several occasions and finally had him arrested for fraud.

The judge asked the farmer at the trial, “I presume you have scales?”

“Yes, of course, Your Honor,” the farmer replied.

“And weights?” the judge asked.

“No,” replied the farmer. “I don’t have a set of weights.”

“Then how do you hope to weigh accurately the butter you sell to your neighbor?” the judge asked.

“That’s easy,” the farmer said. “When the baker began to buy from me, I decided to buy my bread from him. I’ve been using his one-pound loaves to balance my scales. If the weight of the butter is wrong, he has only himself to blame.” (Dr. William Mitchell and Michael Mitchell, Building Strong Families, Broadman & Holdman, 1997; www.PreachingToday.com)

When we cheat, we end up hurting ourselves, but not only that, we destroy our relationships. It will be a long time before these two neighbors learn to trust each other again. & That’s the sad thing. Stealing not only hurts us. It hurts those closest to us, as well.

We’re talking about how to have and maintain healthy relationships. & The Bible is very clear and practical on this point. In 10 simple commands, it tells us how to love God and to truly love people.

If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Exodus 20, Exodus 20, where we get this practical help on all of our relationships. This morning we’re looking at the 8th command. Exodus 20, and verse 15: “You shall not steal.”

There you have it, pure, plain, and simple. If you want to have and maintain healthy relationships, then don’t steal; don’t rob one another; DON’T TAKE what doesn’t belong to you.

Now, obviously this covers the “big” sins like robbing a bank, or shoplifting. But stealing also involves things like taking a person’s time by being late, taking someone’s honor through gossip, or borrowing something and not returning it. Stealing involves cheating on a test or paper at school, keeping the change when you’re given too much, or calling in sick at work when you’re not.

According to the U.S. Department of Commerce, employee dishonesty costs American businesses over $50 billion annually. The U.S. Chamber of Commerce estimates that 75 percent of all employees steal at least once, and at half of these steal again and again. The chamber also reports that one of every three business failures are the direct result of employee theft. (Bob Mather, Employee theft: Prevention Beats Apprehension; www.PreachingToday.com)

When we steal even the little things, it creates big problems. Stealing of any kind damages a person’s integrity and their relationships.

Some time ago, the Associated Press ran a story about a young man who tried to steal gas from Dennis Quiggly’s motor home in Seattle, Washington. His intent was to stick a rubber hose in the motor home’s gas tank, suck on the other end of the hose until he got a mouth full of gas, and spit it out. Then with the gasoline flowing through the hose, he intended to fill his own tank.

Dennis Quiggly happened to be inside his motor home at the time. And when he heard some noises outside, he ran out and discovered the thief curled on the ground vomiting violently. Intending to suck up the contents of the gas tank, the thief had put his hose into the wrong hole – and had sucked up the contents of the sewage tank instead.

The thief, a boy 14, will not be prosecuted. Dennis and the police agree that he has suffered enough.” (Associated Press, www.SermonCentral.com)

Now, that boy learned the hard way that there are some very distasteful consequences to stealing. When it’s all said and done, we only end up hurting ourselves.

John Smith was a loyal carpenter, working for a very successful building contractor who called him into his office one day and said, “John, I’m putting you in charge of the next house we build. I want you to order all the materials and oversee the whole job from the ground up.”

John accepted the assignment with great enthusiasm and excitement. For ten days before ground was broken at the building site, John studied the blueprints. He checked every measurement, every specification. Suddenly he had a thought. “If I am really in charge,” he said to himself, “why couldn’t I cut a few corners, use less expensive materials, and put the extra money in my pocket? Who would know the difference? Once the house is painted, it will look just great.”

So John set about his scheme. He ordered second-grade lumber, but his reports indicated that it was top-grade. He ordered inexpensive concrete for the foundation, put in cheap wiring, and cut every corner he could, yet he reported the purchase of much better materials.

When the home was completed and fully painted, he asked the contractor to come and see it. “John,” said the contractor, “what a magnificent job you have done! You have been such a good and faithful carpenter all these years that I have decided to show my gratitude by giving you this house you have built, as a gift!” (James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited, Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988, pp. 288-289; www.SermonCentral. com)

John had only cheated himself. But that’s what stealing does. & If it doesn’t always backfire on us financially, it does damage our integrity and credibility.

That’s bad enough, but stealing also hurts those closest to us. It also damages our relationships.

Three college freshman and three seniors were traveling home for Thanksgiving break. At the station, the three freshmen bought tickets for themselves and watched as the seniors bought just one ticket. “How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asked one of the freshmen.

“Watch and learn,” answered one of the seniors.

They all boarded the train. The three freshmen took their respective seats as all three seniors crammed into a little bathroom together and closed the door. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the bathroom door and said, “Ticket, please.” The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.

The freshmen watching all this agreed that it was a clever idea, so they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money. When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. The seniors were also there, but they didn’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asked one perplexed freshman.

“Watch and learn,” answered a senior.

When they boarded the train, the three seniors crammed themselves into one little bathroom and the three freshmen crammed into another one across the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the seniors left their bathroom and walked to the bathroom where the freshmen were hiding. The senior knocked on their door and said, “Ticket, please.” (Author unknown; adapted and submitted by Aaron Goerner, Utica, New York; www.PreachingToday.com)

That was clever, but it was also very stupid. Those seniors might have saved some money, but they lost their integrity, and they lost any chance for any real relationship with those freshmen.

Stealing of any kind damages our relationships. So if you want to maintain healthy relationships, then don’t steal; don’t take what doesn’t belong to you.

Instead, WORK. EXERT YOURSELF. DO SOME HONEST LABOR TO GET WHAT YOU NEED.

If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Ephesians 4, Ephesians 4, where we have the New Testament commentary on this commandment, “You shall not steal.” This is a chapter which talks about maintaining the unity of the church (vs.3) through healthy relationships. & It has a lot of practical suggestions towards the end of the chapter. One of those suggestions is found in verse 28.

Ephesians 4:28 (read)

You see, instead of stealing, we are called upon to work, to do something useful with our own hands, so that we have something to give to our relationships, not take from them.

That’s the positive side of this command. The negative side – don’t steal. The positive side – work!

Zig Ziglar tells the story of a wise old king, who many, many years ago called all his wise men together and gave them a commission. “I want you to compile for me the wisdom of the ages,” he said. “Put it in book form so we might leave it to posterity.”

The wise men left the king and worked for a long period of time. They finally returned with twelve volumes and proudly presented their work as “the wisdom of the ages.”

The king looked at the twelve volumes and said, “Gentlemen, I’m certain this is the wisdom of the ages and that it contains the knowledge we should leave to mankind. However, it is too long and I fear that people will not read it. Condense it!” he said.

Again the wise men worked long and hard before they returned this time with only one volume. The king, however, knew that it was still too long, so he commanded them to further condense their work.

The wise men reduced the volume to a chapter, then to a page, then to a paragraph, and finally to a sentence. When the wise old king saw the sentence he said, “Gentlemen, this is truly the wisdom of the ages, and as soon as all men everywhere learn this truth, then most of our problems will be solved.” The sentence: “There isn’t any free lunch.” (www.SermonCentral.com)

Healthy societies are based on this piece of wisdom. Work is absolutely necessary for maintaining a free and prosperous people. & It’s only when people refuse to work, expecting a free lunch, that relationships and whole societies break down.

This is true in the home. This is true in the church. This is true in the community. & This is true in the nation.

Alexander Fraser Tytler made this interesting observation at the founding of our own nation in 1776.

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years.

“Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependence, from dependence back again to bondage.”

I wonder: where are we in this cycle? Like never before, our politicians are promising us free money. They are promising to “spread the wealth around.” They are promising, as our “right,” all sorts of “entitlements.” & The majority of Americans are swallowing it hook, line and sinker. Already, we are more than 20 years beyond the average age of the world’s great civilizations. & With Americans wanting free handouts from the treasury, the collapse of our democracy cannot be far behind.

In fact, our current financial crisis is a direct result of this “entitlement,” or “free lunch” kind of thinking. According to Terry Jones of the Investor’s Business Daily (posted Wednesday, September 24, 2008), President Carter signed the Community Reinvestment Act in 1977, which pushed Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to aggressively lend money to low-income communities. It was his contention that every American should own their own home, whether or not they could afford it.

When Clinton got into office, he “supercharged the process.” He put in place new rules and regulations, which gave Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac extraordinary leverage, allowing them to hold just 2.5% of capital to back their investments, vs. the 10% required for banks.

With government guarantees and government incentives in place, banks made loans to people that required no money down and no verification of income. People who couldn’t afford it, were given extraordinary loans, and by 2007, Fannie and Freddie owned or guaranteed nearly half of the $12 trillion U.S. mortgage market.

When President Bush and others began to warn congress of an impending crisis, most congressmen ignored it, because Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were financing 384 of their campaigns to the tune of $200 million over the last 20 years. (Terry Jones, “How A Clinton-Era Rule Rewrite Made Subprime Crisis Inevitable,” Investor’s Business Daily, Posted Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 4:30 PM PT)

“Free money” was available for the taking. & All went well as long as housing prices kept going up. If a person couldn’t pay their mortgage, which many couldn’t, no problem! Just foreclose on the property and sell it for more than what was owed. Banks were making money hand over fist with these subprime loans, and it worked as long as the housing prices kept going up.

But when the housing market began to drop, the whole system came crashing down like a house of cards. Banks couldn’t sell foreclosed properties at a high enough price to cover their losses, and now everybody is hurting.

It’s all because of an “entitlement” philosophy and greed. It’s all because people wanted a “free lunch” without the work. It’s all because people wanted to take, instead of working to give. They were ignoring the 8th commandment: “You shall not steal.”

My friends, if we want healthy relationships in our homes, in our community, and in our nation, then we must learn not to take, but to work, so we can GIVE TO THOSE IN NEED, so we can provide for those who cannot provide for themselves.

You see, we don’t work just to meet our own needs. We work so we have something to share with others in need. That’s the foundation of a healthy society and the foundation for all healthy relationships.

Look at Ephesians 4:28 again. (read)

The opposite of taking is giving. The opposite of stealing is sharing. & That’s the spirit of the 8th commandment: Don’t take; give!

Now, it’s very easy to think, “When I have more, then I will start to give, but I just can’t afford to give right now.”

A Sunday School Teacher asked her eight eager 10-year-old boys if they would give $1,000,000 to the missionaries if they had it. “YES!” they all screamed!!

Then she asked them, “Would you give $1,000?” And again they shouted, “YES!”

“How about $100?” she asked, and they all agreed, “Oh, YES we would!”

Then she asked “Would you give just a dollar to the missionaries?” And the boys exclaimed “YES!” just as before, except for Johnnie.

“Johnnie,” the teacher said as she noticed the boy clutching his pocket, “why didn’t you say ‘YES’ this time?”

“Well,” little Johnny stammered, “I HAVE a dollar.” (Bible Illustrator; www.SermonCentral.com)

Oh, how hard it is to give what we DO have, but it’s absolutely necessary if we’re going to build strong families, strong churches, &

strong communities.

We must be givers, not takers in all of our relationships. We must be willing to give our time, our talents, and yes, even our treasure.

Henry Nouwen, in his book, Here and Now, talks about one of his most vivid memories from his youth. His father had given him a little goat to care for during the last year of the Second World War. The goat’s name was Walter. Nouwen was thirteen years old then, and they lived in a part of Holland that was isolated from the D-Day armies, but people were dying of hunger.

Nouwen loved his little goat. He spent hours collecting acorns for him, taking him on long walks, and playfully fighting with him, pushing him where his two horns were growing. Nouwen carried the little goat in his arms, built a pen for him in the garage, and gave him a little wooden wagon to pull. As soon as he woke up in the morning, Nouwen fed the little goat, and as soon as he returned from school he fed the goat again, cleaned his pen, and talked to him about all sorts of things. Nouwen says, “Indeed, my goat Walter and I were the best of friends.”

Then one day, early in the morning when Nouwen entered the garage, he found the pen empty. Walter had been stolen. Nouwen says, “I don’t remember ever having cried so vehemently and so long. I sobbed and screamed from grief. My father and mother hardly knew how to console me. It was the first time that I learned about love and loss.”

Years later, when the war was over and they all had enough food again, Nouwen’s father told him that their gardener had taken Walter and fed him to his family who had nothing left to eat. Nouwen’s father knew it was the gardener, but he never confronted him, even though he saw his son’s grief. Nouwen says, “I now realize that both Walter and my father taught me something about compassion.” (Henri J. M. Nouwen, Here and Now, Crossroad, 1994, pp. 62-63; www.PreachingToday.com)

That story reminds me of God, who watched His own Son suffer on a cross because of MY sin. He gave so that I could be in relationship with Him through faith in His Son.

Please, let’s learn something about compassion today through God’s indescribable gift, even to those of us who stole from him. Let’s learn something about compassion today and start giving so we can enjoy God’s healing in all our relationships.