1 Corinthians 6 - Christ shaped sexuality
Today’s generation want their sex and they want it their way. Pure and free. Stripped of all the guilt and restrictions of a former age. Freed the boring chains of marriage . Expressed in whatever way suits them, within limits that they define. It’s been that way for a while now. Since the sexual revolution that swept the Western world in the 1960s and 70s, it’s been this way. But that revolution didn’t deliver. More than 30 years on, we find ourselves not in a sexual heaven, but in a sexual war zone, with broken relationships, hurt, guilt, and confusion on all sides.
What I want to show you today, are some of the ways the bible has had it right all along. How the West has messed it up badly. And I want to send a clear message to our African friends: don’t follow us down this road of so-called sexual freedom. It will only mess up your marriages, your parenting, your sex-life, and your salvation.
But I also want to remind us all of God’s forgiveness. That in Jesus, there is forgiveness, no matter what we’ve done, if we repent. That’s where we’re going.
Our passage today starts with the stern words of 1 Corinthians 6 verse 9. 9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God
It’s an abrupt start. It sounds like language of another age - the wicked. Who uses that word anymore? I mean, it was in old fairy tales - The Wicked witch of the West was in the Wizard of Oz. Or it was a way to praise things in the 80s and 90s. "That’s wicked man". But we don’t use the word like Paul does here anymore. Who does Paul mean by the wicked?
The wicked are those who do these certain things unrepentantly. I explained how you see this last week. There’s a list of character traits. Greedy, Swindlers, and so on. And it can’t mean those who have ever done such things. For all people who sin and repent in the name of Jesus are welcome into the kingdom of Jesus.So it must mean those who do these things unrepentantly.
But what we are given here is a list of what these things are, these character traits, that we must not do unrepentantly: sexually immoral,idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes,homosexual offenders, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, slanderers, swindlers.
Now some of these are easy to take. We still don’t think thieves or swindlers are good. The greedy we’re fairly down on, unless we work for Macquarie Bank. Likewise adulterers, though maybe not for much longer. But more and more, the rest of this list seems outdated and irrelevant, especially the sexual ones.
Let me make this clearer, by explaining what the original Greek means. The sexually immoral means those who have sex outside of marriage. Male prostitutes isn’t quite right - it’s better to see this as the passive partner in male gay sex. And homosexual offenders means the active partner in male gay sex.
And clearing this up makes it seem even more outdated. You might be thinking - who is it hurting to have sex outside of marriage? If the couple is consenting and adult and not related, who is it hurting? Let me start to answer.
See in 1998, the Australian government released a report called ’To Have and To Hold - strategies to strengthen marriage and relationships’. It’s a report of the House of Representatives Standing Committee on Legal and Constitutional Affairs. The results were both fascinating and disturbing. Now I’m going to cite some of the studies from that report, which include results about divorce, separation and more. Now if you’re a child of divorce or divorced yourself, I’m not saying this is you. These are just averages. I’m sure you’re not like these averages. But the point here is to show the evidence that God’s way really is the best way.
The Australian Institute of Family Studies had a Family Formation Project cited in this government report. The study found that after five years of marriage, 13% of those who had cohabited were divorced, compared to 6% of those who had not cohabited - that is, not lived together before marriage. Ten years later, the proportions were 26% for those who had cohabited and 14% for those who had not. After 20 years it was 56% compared to 27% These findings have been supported by similar studies in Canada, the United Kingdom, the United States and Sweden. So in every case, if you want a stable long lasting marriage, it’s clearly better not to live together before getting married.
This is just one of many studies in the report. In a separate study, a lady called Helen Glezer looked into the factors which add most to the risk of marriage breakdown. She found three factors were: having an child outside of marriage, living together before marriage, and leaving home at an early age.
In further studies, this list expands to include divorce as a child, having sex before marriage, and marrying as a teenager.
In yet another study, by DeMaries and Lesley, it is not just that cohabiters have a higher risk of divorce, they also have worse relationships. The authors of this study expected that cohabiters would score higher on communication and on adjusting as a couple. That is, they thought the way most of our society thinks. However they found a negative relationship between living together before marriage and satisfaction.
In short, the Governmental report makes it crystal clear: you want a better marriage? Don’t live together before you marry. Don’t sleep together before you marry. The bible has been right all along. And our society is failing because we have ignored Jesus on this matter.
They’re very important results, aren’t they? So important, you’d think we would have heard lots about this in the papers? But no. Don’t be deceived, just because God’s word isn’t popular, doesn’t mean it’s false. As this report shows.
Now you might be thinking, OK, so I’m feeling more convinced that it’s good to save yourself for marriage. But it’s still unrealistic. As good as it might be in theory, it won’t happen in practice. The hormones are just too strong. You’re just being naive, Mike.
And do you know what, in a sense I agree. See, the way it works at the moment, we have this system of boyfriends and girlfriends before marriage. It’s in Christian circles as well as non-Christian circles in Australia. But it’s not in African circles. It’s a strong cultural difference.
So how does it work for Aussies? Well for non-Christians, most boyfriends and girlfriends end up sleeping together these days. It’s slightly different in Christian circles. Mostly the Christians know they shouldn’t sleep together before marriage. They know what the bible says. So what happens is that Christians still have boyfriends and girlfriends, but are more restrained. They hug and kiss. But typically, as time goes by, they slide down the slippery slope towards sex. It’s slower than non-Christians, but in the end, it’s not greatly different.
For very often, the Christians end up being fully sexually active. There are a few reasons for this. The hormones, the power of attraction, the time together, the commitment that they will be exclusive with each other - those things are part of it. But the biggest thing is that the couple start down the track of a physical sexual intimacy. They start doing things that you wouldn’t do with just anyone. That’s the big thing. For once you start down that track, things easily go further and further and further. And so that many Christian boyfriends and girlfriends can’t stop what they have started. It’s worse if a Christian has a girlfriend or boyfriend who’s not Christian. For the non-Christian doesn’t have the bible restraining them. They don’t have Jesus in their relationship. So usually the blokes are pushing hard to get sex as soon as possible. That’s just one reason we need to encourage our Christians not to go out with non-Christians. It’s usually a disaster. But more of that next week.
The problem is that our churches haven’t taught all that God says on this matter. See, the bible tells us to be much more radical. The bible tells us not to be sexual at all before marriage. African Christians know it well. You set as a great example here, our African brothers and sisters. But let me show you why your example is not just cultural. It is also biblical. Here it is: 1 Corinthians 6 verse 18: Flee from sexual immorality. Flee That means get as far from it as you can. It doesn’t mean set up this ’going out’ relationship which makes you think you can go further and further towards sexual immorality and that’s OK. No, that’s not fleeing. Fleeing is doing what Paul tells Timothy in 1 Timothy 5 verse 2. Here it is: Timothy is told: ’treat older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with absolute purity.’ And it’s a great test for men. women need to translate a bit, but it’s not too hard. The test for men is this: how would you treat your sister? Would you kiss her like that? If not, then don’t do it to your girlfriend. And so on. It’s a great diagnostic, and it comes straight out of the bible. And our African friends model it well.
What it means is, if couples don’t start down the sexual track at all before marriage, they won’t find themselves falling down the slippery slope. They’ll save themselves for marriage, and their marriage will be much better for it, when the time comes.
Now at this point, I may have lost many of you. Not the Africans. They’re right on board, believe me. But I may have lost many of the Anglos. You’re thinking, Mike, this is ridiculous. You’re taking us back to the stoneage. You’re irrelevant in this day and age, Mike. And I’ll respond this way. Yes, I’m taking us back a long way. I’m taking us back to the time when when 0.15% of the population were divorced, back in 1911. That’s right. And I’m pleased about that because today 6.4% of the population are divorced. That’s right, it’s 4300% higher today. So I’m taking us back. Of course that figure doesn’t even count break ups of defactos. Defactos break up at a much higher rate than those who marry. So in fact things are much worse than the stats make out. So yes, I’m taking us back to when marriage worked. And it worked because we believed much more the biblical view of sex and marriage.
.
Let me put it a different way, and this will be hard to hear. Remember I love you. I’m saying these things because they are good for you and I to believe. See compare the results of the African families in our parish with the Anglos. It’s a comparison of the more biblical culture with the less at this point. Now I’m not saying that every aspect of African culture is better than ours. But they are much better than us in their view of sexuality. But look at the results. Think for a moment about the Magill parish. Our Africans friends all have intact marriages, lots of kids, healthy marriages based around Jesus. On the other hand, on the Anglo side, we have heaps of divorces, second marriages, and so on. We have all kinds of pain and heartache.
It’s hard to mention, because it’s such a painful truth. So let me say to our African friends, don’t be tempted to follow our culture at this point. Keep going as you are. Keep fleeing from sexual immorality. Keep loving older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with absolute purity. Keep sex within marriage only. Let me say to the Anglos here, we need to repent of our cultures’ way of doing sex and marriage. We need to repent of our sins in the past, and of our non-biblical worldview.
Now you might be thinking, well why is it so important to save yourself for marriage? Why does it work that way? And Paul spells this out for us in the middle of today’s reading. The whole middle section is about the union that comes when you sleep with someone. The logic is ’don’t unite that which shouldn’t be united. Verse 16: Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh. Sex is such a uniting thing. That’s the point. It’s not easy to move on from sleeping with someone, in the way people do these days. It’s why you hear the pain in so many of our love songs. It’s why it’s only for marriage. Because it’s the act that unites people
Now this may come across as self-righteous. So let me say, I am saying this stuff because I love you. And because I’ve experienced it. I have plenty of sin in this area. I didn’t treat Ally as a sister with absolute purity throughout our engagement. Far from it. I too fell into the sinful Aussie Christian way of getting married and engaged, to a large extent. So let me tell you I repent of that. So let me lead us in repenting. In saying I too am a sinner who needs to repent in this area.
Let me encourage you to join me. Repent with me of sin you might have in this area. Turn to Jesus and find forgiveness.
Let me remind us all of the forgiveness on offer. Verse 11.
And that is what some of you were. But you were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified.
We who have repented in Jesus’ name are washed. our sins are cleaned from us like dirt in the sink.
And We are Sanctified - set apart as God’s own.
And We are Justified - declared not guilty.......We are victorious as God declares the verdict in our favour.
Friends, we had some massive changes in the 60s and 70s. They were changes for the worst. We need to return to God’s ways, for they are best. We need to repent, and find the forgiveness which is in Jesus. Amen.
