I believe that everyone’s life has a theme. Patterns emerge over the years that are true of us all the time. Sometimes it’s difficult to figure out your theme, but with Geneva it’s pretty easy. When facing a challenge or a task or a new direction she was often heard to say, “I can do that.” That’s her life’s theme: “I can do that.”
I’ve known Geneva just about a year and I learned early on that she was a hairdresser by trade. She graduated from Salisbury Beauty College, started her own shop, while raising a couple of boys. That sounded simple and straight forward, but you know there was so much more to this little lady. When I sat down with the family yesterday it made my head spin to hear how many different talents and abilities and interests she had. I don’t know how she could pack so much living into 89 years. But I think all this stemmed from her life’s theme: “I can do that.”
Let me share with you the short list of Geneva’s abilities. She could cook, crochet, quilt, and sew and do all of these with excellence. Ann told me of a time when she and Geneva were shopping and they found some placemats that were beautiful, but too expensive to actually buy. Geneva put her hand over them for a quick measurement and after several days of work was able to duplicate them. During her time living at Kure Beach she knew how to fish from the surf or the pier. She took a flower decorating class and created astonishingly beautiful arrangements. Just drive by her house in the spring or walk inside any time and you’ll see what I mean. Her decorating skills were so great that the house at Kure Beach was dubbed “the little doll house.”
She also had an eye for remodeling. When everyone said that there was no way to build an island in her kitchen, she went ahead and did it anyway. When folks thought an upstairs bathroom was out of the question, she envisioned it and, with the help of a carpenter, she made it happen. “I can do that.” That was her life’s theme.
Geneva’s home remedies will live on in my mind. I’ve learned many of these remedies, but I’m a little hesitant to try some of them out. Apparently, a strip of fatback will removed a shard of glass embedded in the skin. A mixture of vinegar and salt water gargled as hot as you can stand it will cure a sore throat. And if you’ve “got a little hurt, get a little Red Oil.” Geneva didn’t put a whole lot of confidence in doctors or medicine. She figured she could do that. And she did.
The place where Geneva’s life theme shown through brilliantly was in her attitude. You know, the attitude we display is a choice. Geneva, at some point, made the decision to be an eternal optimist, the kind of person who always sees the glass as half full rather than half empty. They call problems challenges and then proceed to overcome them. She extended her optimistic attitude to other people and never spoke negatively about others. What I find most remarkable was something Geneva told Lori. Speaking on events that were out of her control Geneva said, “When things get me down, I put it out of my mind.” There’s that theme again: “I can do that.” Geneva’s life was not a bed of roses. She had some difficult days in some of her relationships. She could have allowed those terrible events to pull her into despair. She could have adopted the attitude of a perpetual victim. Instead, Geneva chose the perspective of hope and an attitude of contentment. That really what optimism is: contentment no matter what situation comes your way.
I have a strong suspicion that her faith had something to do with this. Geneva’s attitude reflected that of the apostle Paul, who in Philippians 4:13 wrote:
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Paul faced terrible adversity, but always came through with contentment and joy. That’s exactly the kind of attitude Geneva displayed. Her faith formed that “I can do it” theme of her life.
She was also quite generous. Kids, grandkids, or friends of kids and grandkids who came to her house could expect to be fed. That’s why so many people in this community who were not blood relatives called her Mamaw. If you walked in her house there was usually a pot of coffee brewing and a pan of biscuits ready. Her door was open all the time. Bobby told me that once when they were visiting Geneva at the beach and they were all sitting around in their pajamas, some random customers just walked in and made themselves at home. That was a common occurrence at Geneva’s house
When Geneva saw a need she said, “I can do that,” and went out to meet it. She served on the board of her local community center in Kure Beach and helped in fundraising efforts. If someone needed a meal or a helping hand she was one of the first to step up. She gave sacrificially when friends or family were in need. People were shocked at how low she kept the rent on her beach apartments. She made sure that the apartments weren’t too decorated so that the fishermen could afford to stay and not feel uncomfortable in the rooms. Geneva charged little for the fishermen and senior citizens who came to her for haircuts. When asked why she the cuts were so cheap for older folks she replied, “Well, they don’t have much hair to cut.”
All of us are generous every once in a while, but for Geneva, it was a lifestyle. She reminds me of the oft quoted Proverbs 31 woman. Many women aspire to these verses, but a few, like Geneva, actually live it. Listen and see if you don’t agree:
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it [while watching politics on Fox News or the Atlanta Braves on WGN). She is like a merchant’s ship; she brings her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work … She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard [or flowers or vegetables]. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. [How many of you ever felt like Geneva could work circles around you?] She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes. She quilts her own bedspreads. She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth. She is clothed with strength and dignity [those red hats had to fit just right], and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Proverbs 31:10-31
When you add it all up Geneva loved everybody and everybody loved Geneva. She lived every day to the fullest. And she knew how to have fun. Whether it was singing with the Sweet Adelines or line-dancing or fellowshipping with the Red Hat Sisters or just sitting in front of the TV learning the Bible from Les Feldsek, Geneva was one of those rare individuals everyone enjoyed being around. I think it’s because of her life theme: “I can do that.” It was everywhere; in her abilities, in her attitude, in her generosity. It was demonstrated in the love she showed to all the people she met. “I can do that.”
As far as I can tell there was only one thing Geneva knew she could not do. She could not save herself. She knew with certainty that she could not be good enough or work hard enough to stand before God in heaven. Paradoxically, the same faith that led her to say “I can do that” in every other area of life led her to realize that she could not “do that” when it came to salvation. To do that, Geneva placed her complete confidence in Jesus Christ.
Her faith was already evident to those close to her. Those of you who’ve known her for a while knew that she trusted in Christ. I didn’t, so the first day she was at the Hospice House when she was very much awake and feeling her freshly washed hair I asked her if she was ready to go when the time came. She assured me that she was. I asked her if God would let her in His heaven when she stood before. She quickly and confidently said yes. When I asked her why, she started talking a lot without hesitation. To be honest, I couldn’t understand a word she said. Her weakened body and the effects of the stroke made it really difficult to decipher her words, but I got the feeling she was preaching to me. I apologized for not understanding her and I asked if she was trusting Jesus and she said, “yes.” Had I known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have asked the questions. She faithfully attended Seaside Chapel, read her Bible every day and actually quoted portions when dispensing wisdom. Geneva’s friend Betty told me that she used to witness to customers while styling their hair and to tenants who rented her rooms. In my experience only people who have Jesus share Jesus.
Geneva could do many things, but not that one thing. The thing that she couldn’t do, she trusted Christ to do for her:
God saved you by His special favor when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this: it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. for we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, SO THAT we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:8-10 (NLT)
The faith that enabled her to say “I can do that” in every other of life led her to realize that she could not “do that” when it came to salvation. Because Geneva said “I can’t do that” regarding forgiveness of sin and eternal life, she said “I can do that” to trusting Jesus Christ. Because she did that, Geneva is alive and well with her Lord today.
