Why avoid sexual sin?
I Corinthians 6:18
1. Illus. of my daughter
• When our children were at home, we had what we referred to as the house rules. If you were going to live in our house, then you had to tell us where you were going and who you were going with, etc.
• As an older teenager, often chafed against our house rules.
• Told me one day, “You and mom are just the fun-Nazis, trying to make sure I don’t have any fun in life!”
• I’m sure it seemed like it at the time!
• When she got married and became a mom, she began to understand that all those rules were for her benefit and protection.
2. Sometimes non-Christians and immature Christians get the idea that God is just a big old fun-Nazi! He has all these rules and regulations that are designed for one purpose: to keep us from having any fun! Somewhere along the way of our spiritual development, we realize our wise heavenly Father set these commands in place with His glory and our good in mind!
3. Nowhere is this principle more evident than in the area of sexual sin. One of the strongest desires God has given us is the desire for sex! God has placed around that desire a very distinct boundary: no sex outside marriage, period. That means no premarital sex, no extramarital sex, no sex between people of the same gender.
4. God did not do this because He is some sort of cosmic sadist: “I’m going to give them this desire and then make them express this desire only in marriage because I want to see them suffer!” Rather, God did this for our protection!
5. I want to show you today what happens when married people ignore God’s boundary in this area. The Bible says there are some terrible consequences to ignoring God’s sexual boundaries.
6. What are they? Let’s look at four consequences of infidelity.
I. SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE ROBS US OF OUR SPIRITUAL BLESSING
1. See Psalms 51. This took place on the occasion of David’s repentance of his sin with Bathsheba. Listen as he describes what his life was like while he was living in this sin:
• Had robbed him of his ability to see God (vs 3). Used to see God in the field, in the stars. Now all he could see was his sin!
• Had caused him to lie and act stupid (vs 6)
• Had caused him to squirm under intense conviction (vs 8)
• Lost all joy in serving God (vs 12)
2. In short, David’s sin had cost him all the spiritual blessing that he should have been enjoying as a believer!
3. Illus. of “Jeannette” (Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, pp160”)
• If you are truly a believer who is used to enjoying fellowship with God, you are in for a lot of misery. You will long to go back to the time when you could sing, "I Love You, Lord" and mean it. You will cry over songs like "He Is Lord," knowing that now He is not Lord of your life. You will become unable to give testimonies or share with other believers on anything but a surface level. You will be unable to concentrate on anything else.
• You will have lost your relationship with the Lord. And you will realize you have also lost your relationship with your husband. Either you will go through the rest of your life keeping something from him or you will eventually confess it to him and destroy him in the process.
4. Application: Habitual, rebellious sin, especially this one, robs us of our relationship with God.
II. SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE ERODES OUR ONE-FLESH BOND
1. See Matthew 19:
Vs 3- Remember this is the central question that Jesus is answering, “what are the just grounds for divorce?
Vs 4-6- When a husband and wife have sex, that physical union also creates a spiritual and emotional union. No law of man can do away with that!
Vs 7-8- Moses didn’t command it, he permitted it because of your sinful hearts. Women were being thrown out for any reason, so Moses did this to make it harder.
Vs 9- Back to original reasoning began in vs 4-6. Because that one-flesh bond is not dissolved by a piece of paper, a man who divorces his wife puts her in this situation: when she remarries (and the assumption is that she will) she is forging a new one-flesh bond while another one flesh bond still exists.
In that context, look at the bottom line here: God permits divorce on the grounds of adultery because it erodes that one-flesh bond with our spouse. Continual adultery destroys that one flesh bond, so that it is as if we are not married anyway!
2. Sex outside marriage eats away at the one-flesh bond that husband and wife share. Enough infidelity completely erodes the one-flesh bond.
3. Illus. of battery acid
• Once had an old ragged car. Didn’t know it, but my battery started leaking battery acid from a small crack.
• Eventually ate away the metal plate the battery sat on.
• Adultery is a corrosive acid that eats away at our one flesh bond with our spouse. Let it eat long enough and it will completely destroy your one-flesh bond.
4. Application: Adultery always harms the innocent marriage partner! See 1 Corinthians 6: 13-16. Even when they don’t find out, they are harmed and so is the one-flesh bond of marriage.
III. SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE CREATES AN UNHOLY BOND
1. See 1 Cor. 6:13-16. We are spiritually linked to Christ. Physical intimacy with our spouse was meant to create spiritual and emotional intimacy.
2. Here is the problem: even when we are physically intimate with someone who is not our spouse, the same thing happens. We still create a spiritual and emotional bond. In marriage, that “one flesh-ness” is a holy thing. Outside marriage, it is an unholy thing! When these sinful relationships end, as they always do, that’s why its as painful as a divorce. They have to tear asunder this one flesh bond
3. Side-point: It has been my experience that Satan can use this unholy bond to oppress us.
4. Illus. of counseling oppressed woman
• Many signs of spiritual oppression.
• No open doors that I could find.
• When we explored this area, she had a number of sinful relationships she had never repented of.
• Satan was using that to gain control!
5. Application: Sex outside marriage creates an unholy bond that is destructive emotionally!
IV. SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE DESTROYS OUR CHRISTIAN CREDIBILITY
1. See 1 Peter 2:11-12 Did you catch what Peter said in vs 12 about lost people observing our works? Like it or not, lost people are looking at our lives. They want to know if we are genuine, if we are real. What kind of stuff do they look for? Back up to vs 11, abstain from fleshy lusts…
2. When we give in to our evil cravings, the lost world sees it and says, “What a hypocrite!” We lose our credibility as children of God.
3. Illus. of K.
• Became involved with young divorcee on son’s baseball team.
• Lost his family, but he also lost his credibility as a Christian.
4. Application: When we engage in this sin, it cost us our credibility as a child of God.
5. If we aren’t very careful in this area, we can completely destroy the credibility it might have taken a lifetime to accumulate!