Sermon for 6/21/2009 Father’s Day
Ephesians 6:1-4
Introduction:
A. Talked the past several weeks about marriage. “Familiarity breeds children.”
B. Bill Cosby remarked that being a parent is the “most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”
WBTU:
A. Today is Father’s Day.
B. The first 3 verses this morning talk about the children’s responsibility to the parents in the family.
C. One of the 10 commandments is to honor your father and your mother.
D. If we honor our father and our mother we have two promises:
1. Go well with us.
2. May live long on the earth.
E. For some children this is difficult to do. To honor means to value as precious.
F. We need to be parents that our children are proud of. But even in the best of families parenting is a challenge. Children always blame the parents.
G. Let’s talk some about parenting this morning. “Before I got married, I had 6 theories on raising kids. Now I have 6 kids and no theories.” The stakes are high in parenting, and the answers aren’t always easy. James Dobson wrote a book called Parenting Isn’t for Cowards, and he is right.
H. One of the challenges that we have in parenting is that we tend to parent our children the way that we were parented. Can be good and bad depends on how we view our parents. How can I learn how to be a better parent?
I. Vs. 4 mentions fathers. Before we put too much pressure upon the fathers, this word can also be translated parents. We must understand how families operated in the NT world. The man had unlimited rights. The father had the right to determine whether the child should live or not at birth. Fathers could and did sell their children into slavery. They could punish them as harshly as they wanted; they could even put their children to death for disrespecting them.
J. The amazing thing about being a parent is that we get the opportunity to treat our children the same way that God treats his children. In other words, any parenting that we do as Christians is an imitation of God. As parents our role model is God.
K. Now really our kids aren’t really even our kids. Our children in a sense aren’t our children. They’re God’s children. We get to be their father and mother for a time, but we need to remember that their real Father is God.
Thesis: How can we treat our children the same way that God treats us?
For instances:
1. Grace them.
A. Vs. 4- Fathers, do not exasperate your children.
B. (Col 3:21) Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
C. This is for those parents who push their children pretty hard. It is possible to blame them more than praise them; to set standards too high; to push them in an unreasonable way academically or athletically or musically.
D. Had camp this past week. Frustrated because of memory work.
F. One of the best gifts we can give our kids is to extend the same grace to them that God extends to us. Paul told the parents to think about what would encourage the kids; what would grace them.
G. The best example of this is the father of the prodigal son. He had every right to treat his son harshly, and to reject him. But he didn’t treat his son as he deserved. The father of the prodigal son is a picture of God, and the way that he treats us. (Psa 103:10 NIV) he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
H. Some of us may be too harsh with our children- we make rules without explaining them, we are sometimes unreasonable or inconsistent with boundaries, or ignore our children’s wishes without explanation.
I. Do the opposite and grace them, treat them the same way that God treats us. He extends grace, encouragement, and forgiveness.
J. Dead Poet’s Society- Neil Perry- Student who wants to be an actor although his very strict father insists that he become a doctor. Neil takes on an acting role in a play against his father’s wishes. His father finds out about it and is going to put him in a military boarding school. That night Neil goes into his father’s study, takes out a gun and shoots himself in the head. The father comes in and finds his son dead. We see only a glimpse of that father’s agony. Give them grace.
2. Nourish them.
A. Vs. 4- Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
B. This word bring them up literally means to nourish them. We talked about this last week with the husband’s role to his wife. He is to nourish her physically yes, but in every other way as well.
C. Treat children with tenderness. Fondly cherishing the gift of our children. (Psa 127:3 NIV) Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.
D. The main barrier to nourishment is my schedule. My children love to be around me. The time will come when my kids will be too busy for me. The tragedy is that my kids aren’t right now, but many parents are too busy for their children.
E. Greatest challenge we will have to keep our schedule under control. One man said it’s about learning to cheat. We are going to cheat someone, because we don’t have enough time to be everything to everyone. We will never cross every item off our list. He said that for himself, he was learning to cheat his to do list and even his career rather than the children. They are only young once.
F. Give them the place of priority in our lives. At camp I enjoyed spending time with my children.
3. Discipline them.
A. Vs. 4- Bring them up in the training of the Lord- training involves discipline.
B. The Bible is clear about the need for parents to discipline their children by setting firm and consistent boundaries. (Prov 13:24 NIV) He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. (Prov 19:18 NIV) Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
C. Our society has shifted in the past 30 years. People have reacted so strongly against harsh parenting that many have thrown the idea of disciplining out with it. The bible says that if we don’t discipline them, it shows we don’t love them.
E. Do not be a willing party to his death- In the Andy Griffith show episode “Opie and the Spoiled Kid” we are introduced to Arnold Winkler. Arnold tries to instruct Opie on how to manipulate his father. Arnold’s suggestions to Opie do not work on Andy. Toward the end of the episode, Arnold shows his disrespect for any kind of authority by riding his bicycle on the sidewalk, even after Barney, the deputy, gives him a warning. Finally, Arnold flaunts the law one too many times, and Andy, the sheriff, confiscates Arnold’s bike. Arnold is furious and screams at Andy that he is going to go tell his dad. Andy tells Arnold to do just that and to bring his dad by the courthouse. What follows is a scene that shows Arnold’s true colors. Arnold wants his bike back, and it doesn’t matter what it takes to get it. Arnold even offers his dad to be put in jail if that will get his bike back. At this point, Arnold’s dad realizes what a spoiled and disrespectful kid he has raised. At Andy’s suggestion, he takes Arnold out back to an old fashioned woodshed where he gives Arnold a much needed attitude adjustment. Opie is there for all of this and thanks his dad for disciplining him.
F. Sounds bad, well, what if Arnold’s dad took Arnold’s side. Let’s follow this out. It happens all of the time in our world. Don’t be a willing party to his death. Kids play all kinds of mind games, don’t give in. (Prov 22:15 NIV) Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
4. Teach them.
A. Vs. 4- Training and instruction of the Lord.
B. (Deu 6:6 NIV) these commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. (Deu 6:7 NIV) Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
C. Start early. Why?
1. Because the days of opportunity are few. From birth to 18th birthday is 6570 days. These will pass quickly. Add to this that teaching opportunities are limited during the first 2 years (infancy), and the last four (due to adolescence), days are reduced to 4380. (Eph 5:16 NIV) making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
2. The heart may later be closed to spiritual instruction. (Eccl 12:1 NIV) Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"--
3. Because the Word has the power to make a difference. (Psa 119:9 NIV) How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
Conclusion and invitation:
(3 John 1:4) I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
