Fireproof: Raising the Value of Marriage
From a message preached by Scott Kallem, Pastor of 3rd Baptist in Marion, IL
Matt. 19:1-9
June 7, 2009 FBC, Chester Dr. Mike Fogerson, Speaker
Introduction
A In the 1970’s, a wave of no-fault divorce legislation swept across the nation (developed a culture of divorce).
1 Prenuptial agreements, shorter marriages, destruction of family
a Now, many states are realizing the socio-economic effects of easy divorce.
aa Negative effect on kids (impact on juvenile justice system, education, welfare, mental & psychological price has made states pay attention).
bb In 1997, Louisiana passed a “covenant marriage” law, allowing couples to ONLY file for divorce if infidelity, abuse, neglect, or imprisonment occurs (so far, only 5% of marriages have agreed to enter into legal covenant marriages).
2 Churches try mandatory counseling.
B Good ideas, but the answer to raising the value of marriage is not in the laws, mandatory counseling, but by a yielded life to the revelation of God’s Word.
1 When Jesus had finished these words, He departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; 2 and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus , testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" 4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female , 5 and said, ’for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife , and the two shall become one flesh ’? 6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." 7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away ?" 8 He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality , and marries another woman commits adultery ." Matt 19:1-9 (NASB)
a In Jesus’ culture, marriage was in trouble
b Even among religious people
aa Pastors, deacons, Sunday School teachers, church members experience marital troubles
bb It is what it is
c I want you to grab two non-negotiable truths that can help you raise the value of marriage.
2 Pray
I There are no excuses (vs. no-fault)
A Excuses seek to remove blame, justification for a behavior, to get away from an obligation.
1 Clip #1 (Caleb is trying to excuse himself from the marriage)
2 The Pharisees gave two excuses for dissolving a marriage.
a Excuse 1 (v. 3): Some Pharisees came to Jesus , testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?"
aa This was a hot topic, controversial, highly-debated trick question.
• If Jesus answered one way, & was lax on divorce, He’d depreciate the Torah & offend one side; if He answered the other way, He’d offend the other side & lose people.
• Argument was from Deut. 24:1: When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house...Deut 24:1 (NASB)
• There were people who thought divorce could be for any good (or bad) reason (Rabbi Hillel), and some believed it was for cases of adultery only (Rabbi Shammai).
bb But wait-there’s more! Jewish law stated that if a Jewish man divorced his wife for any reason other than infidelity, he had to return her dowry (lost money, property, land).
cc They wanted to know for what reason they could excuse themselves from their marriages.
b Excuse #2 (v. 7): They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away ?"
aa The Pharisees were arguing Scripture with God.
• They were devaluing marriage & using the Bible as a proof-text to do it.
• Instead of finding God’s heart they were looking for loopholes...looking for ways to be righteous & still give up on marriage.
bb It’s easier to make excuses than to make an effort.
c (IL)
There are two non-negotiable truths in this passage. The first is no excuses, and the second is, “Jesus says”.
II “Jesus says” (v. 4-6, 8-9) And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female , 5 and said, ’for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife , and the two shall become one flesh ’? 6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality , and marries another woman commits adultery ."
A When “Jesus says”, we can all agree that our arguments, opinions, preferences all come to a halt.
1 In v. 4-6, Jesus does two things: first, He points the Pharisees to God’s heart: “Have you not read...”, & secondly, He makes them focus on the application of God’s heart: “...so they are no longer two...”
a Jesus uses a rabbinical tool that takes a “weightier text” over another.
aa The Pharisees quote Moses’ words in Deut., Jesus quotes God’s Word in Genesis/creation-an argument from creation, an argument trumped over from the Law.
bb Clip #7
• In Fireproof, Caleb is having a heart-to-heart with his dad, & once again attempts to excuse himself from his marriage.
• Dad shows him the cross, & when you & I are confronted with the cross all excuses lose their meaning.
b Jesus doesn’t ignore the “loophole”, He answers their question.
2 He said (v. 8): He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
a Divorce was never what God wanted...but He allowed it.
b Why? To protect the women!
c Men, left on their own, could simply divorce their wives for ANY CAUSE.
aa God told Moses, I don’t approve of divorce-but if it happens...then these strict rules are to be followed-adultery/infidelity.
bb God did the same thing with slaves (opposed to slavery), He made the rules to protect slaves from undue punishment.
B What about this marriage law Jesus states in v. 9? "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality , and marries another woman commits adultery ."
1 Jesus says, “divorce leads to adultery” (backwards).
a Adultery does not lead to divorce, & adultery is not cause for divorce.
b Divorce is the separation of what God has made one.
aa When husband/wife enters into an extramarital affair, they put aside (divorce) the spiritual reality that they are one with their spouse.
bb No lawyers, attorneys, courts...just divorcing themselves from what God made one.
cc Adultery doesn’t lead to divorce, spiritual divorce leads to adultery.
dd That’s what “Slow Fade” is all about
c God joined together two into one, & any person who tries to separate what God has joined is demonstrating the sin of adultery.
aa How? Failing to revere the work of the Creator.
bb If we saw our marriages in the light that God does, our value of marriage would skyrocket overnight.
Conclusion
A Today, we looked at two non-negotiable truths revealed in Scripture.
1 No excuses in marriage
a When you come to a situation where you have to make a decision on how to act...instead of thinking, “What can I get away with?”, or “What do I have to do?”, think...”What is God’s heart in this situation?”
b Act on it! (Not easy, but the best)
2 Jesus says...
a God created marriage to last a lifetime.
b God created Adam out of dust, Eve out of one of Adam’s ribs.
aa Special oneness between husband & wife (physical).
bb Shared goals, plans-ONE
cc When you get married, you aren’t really two people any longer-but one person (God does it!)
c To tear this union apart is to tear apart what God has created.
B You’ll only discover the value of your marriage in a relationship with Jesus.
1 Pray with someone about your marriage.
2 Spend time alone with God.
3 Salvation
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