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Secret to Healthy Relationships
Series: Christmas
Scripture: Matthew 1:18-25
Introduction: Man is a social being, that is why relationships are very important to us. We share relationships with our parents, spouse, children, relatives, church members, colleagues, friends, and neighbours. Every relation has its own levels of respect, communication, and intimacy. God wants us to share healthy relationships with people in our contact.
1 Corinthians 14:33b God has called us to live in peace.
Romans 12:18 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
It is easy for us to break a good relationship but very tough to build it up. How do you handle your relationships?
Subject: Secret to Healthy Relationships
Series: Christmas
Scripture: Matthew 1:18-25
This morning we are good to see the key to sustain healthy relationships based on the story of Joseph, the father of Jesus.
People hardly talk Joseph the father of Jesus. People talk about Mary, the wise men, the shepherds, angels etc. But Joseph is the silent man of Christmas. If you look deep into the life of Joseph you can get some keys in sustaining healthy relationships.
Let us read the story.
Matthew 1:18 18This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph.
Joseph and Mary’s parents come with the proposal.
• They like each other.
• Joseph and Mary got engaged.
• As per tradition Joseph working hard to earn a steady income.
• Once well established he will marry and bring Mary home.
• Now, this young man and woman is in love.
• He is committed to her.
• Joseph believed Mary also loved him.
See what happens: Matthew 1:18b but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.
• This news shocked Joseph.
• He his heart was broken and betrayed.
• He felt Mary betrayed him.
How would you react?
• When you feel betrayed by your loved one?
• When your friend cheats you?
• When your colleague back bites you?
• When someone misuses your freedom?
We have all gone through such situations in life and betrayal usually comes form a close friend or a close person in a relationship. See what David said:
Psalm 55:12 12 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him.
13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.
David felt betrayed by his friend. Joseph felt betrayed by his fiancée, Mary.
Human response to betrayal
1. Tell it to everyone.
When we feel betrayed we tend to tell it to every one in the town. We tell our story to the maximum number of people possible. This was the first option for Joseph also. If Joseph could just tell it in the society and come up with a divorce certificate Mary would be stoned to death as per the Old Testament law. He could have been easily out of this mess and married another woman.
2. Keep quite about it.
Some people keep quite when others betray you. Keeping quite is good as it does not publicize one’s mistake but it does not do anything to build up the broken relationship. Many in this place have gone through betrayal and broken relationships in the past and you have kept quite about it. It is good in one way; you do not spread malice or slander. Maybe you have kept a distance from that person now. But this leave you with a great wound in your heart as you feel betrayed always. Joseph could easily have kept quite about the matter and let Mary deliver the child in her mother’s house. There was nothing for him to lose. When the child would be born she would be stoned to death as the child was born without Joseph being married to her.
3. Confront Head-on
Some people the moment someone hurts them or betrays them just walks up to them and have a head-on confrontation with them. Understand when you do so you will be angry and you will later regret all what you have done and said when you are angry. You will cause more harm than good with such a behaviour.
See what Joseph did
Matthew 1:19 19Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
Joseph was merciful towards Mary. It is a response of solid character. Read v19
1. Be Merciful in your relationships.
Being merciful when someone hurts you is the best way to gain people’s confidence back. We respond usually the other way. We yell, shout, explode at people when they offend us. Joseph never did any of this.
Joseph could have said:
• You hurt me.
• You betrayed me.
• I do not love you.
• No more entry into my house.
• How could you do this to me?
• Please explain what happened to me?
• Tell me who is the real father? And so on
But Joseph took the path of mercy. Joseph decided he will not hurt Mary with his words.
Many times we have lost good relationships because of our responses when people do wrong. We forget our relationship and we burst out and spoil the relationship. That is what the world does but a child of God acts in mercy.
Let us see what Joseph’s ancestor did in such an occasion.
Joseph is in the line of Judah and let us see what the first man in the line of Judah did to such an offence. Genesis 38:24 24 About three months later Judah was told, "Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant." Judah said, "Bring her out and have her burned to death!"
It is very easy to break a relationship and judge other person, but it is very difficult to build one. Joseph instead of acting judgmental decided to act in mercy.
See what happens. Matthew 1:20-21 20But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."
God intervened to save the relationship. Mary was a God fearing woman. Joseph too was a God fearing man. They had good relationship with God. Joseph chose to act in mercy. Mary was innocent and could not prove her innocence to Joseph. God intervened and stabilized the relationship.
2. Have faith in God.
If you have faith in God it is God’s duty to clear misunderstandings and safeguard our relationships.
There will be times when others misunderstand you. There will be times when you doubt the other person’s motive. But if you are a godly person God will sort out your problems. Your relationships will be fruitful if you have a good relationship first with God.
See what happens. Matthew 1:24-25 24When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. 25But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
Joseph took Mary home. This shows his humility and obedience to God.
3. Be humble to people and obedient to God.
Joseph was a humble man. He took Mary home immediately. He did not ask any one’s opinion. Relationships break because of pride and ego. Ego clashes are one of the spoilers of marriages. Joseph had no ego when he accepted Mary as his wife. He humbled himself before God and Mary. Joseph was obedient to God.
The life of Joseph is a perfect example to sustain a healthy relationship.
• Joseph acted in mercy.
• Joseph trusted in God for his relationships.
• Joseph was a humble man.
• Joseph did not act in ego.
Can you imagine the sacrifice this young husband went through?
1. He accepted a wife with a child.
2. He took the disgrace of the society. (People would ask him and he had to explain to everyone the situations. He would have been the gossip of the town.)
3. He took care of Mary.
4. He kept her a virgin until the birth of Jesus.
Matthew 1:25 25But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
They stayed in the same house, shared the same room yet Joseph did not touch her. He kept her holy until the Holy One was born. What an understanding husband and what a man of character.
Conclusion: This Christmastime God is asking us to mend our relationships. Maybe we have hurt someone or someone would have hurt us. Maybe we are not in talking terms with our family member or friends. God wants us to put all our anger and ego aside and mend our relationships.
Matthew 5:23-24 23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
God wants you to forgive the ones who have done wrong.
Matthew 18:21-22 21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Let us start this Christmas with restoring lost relationships by being merciful, Christ centered, and being humble. Let us start the New Year fresh. God will do great things in our midst.
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