Sermon for 2/7/2010
Give Forgiveness
Introduction:
Play the song “Live Like You Were Dying”- Focus on “I gave forgiveness I’d been denying. Oh, one day I hope you can live like you are dying.”
WBTU:
A. (Psa 90:12) Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
A. When I began this series I knew that I would dread when I came to this topic.
B. In 2008 I was asked to preach at two churches and I brought a message on the cross. Big part of the message was on forgiveness and how Jesus said, (Luke 23:34 NIV) “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." I asked people to pray for me that I would be able to forgive.
C. Since that time I have talked on forgiveness on several occasions. Really it was a plea and a prayer from me to be able to forgive.
D. The Lord is saying to me, “Today is the day.” This series has inspired me to offer forgiveness. I pray that it will do the same for you.
E. I have talked on this topic many times and I struggled on how to bring this in a new and fresh way today.
F. Over the past several weeks two articles on this topic really ministered to me. Today I bring them to you.
Thesis: Today let’s talk about forgiveness.
For instances:
1. Forgiving when you can’t by Jeannette Williams
Her car had killed my husband, a school crossing guard. She had struck Tom down while he was on duty, helping the children. The investigating officer and witnesses had told me it was a “no fault” accident. I didn’t want to believe them.
In the sad, lonely weeks after the funeral, my thoughts turned again and again to this woman- blaming her, accusing her, resenting her.
One afternoon my preacher, Garth Steele, stopped by, “I’ve seen her,” he said. “She wasn’t speeding. She wasn’t careless. She was blinded by the low, glaring sun. It honestly wasn’t an irresponsible accident.”
“That’s what everyone says,” I replied. “I know I should feel sorry for her- that God wants me to-but I can’t.”
He patted my arm kindly. “When you can accept what’s happened, perhaps you can forgive. Please, Jeannette, ask God to help you.”
My angry feelings were still there a few weeks later when Brother Steele came back “I want you to go see her,” he said.
“See her?” My voice was shrill. “Why? I’m the one who’s alone- she has a husband! I’m the injured party.” I was hurting so much inside. “Is it wrong that I’m angry?” I finally asked.
“No, it’s human. With God’s help, you’ll work your way through this. You must pray about it.” He took my hands. “She’s a teacher. She loves children, the way Tom did.”
She loves children. The words echoed in my head long after he’d left. I tried to imagine the woman in her classroom- guiding, encouraging, concerned for her students. I sank into Tom’s chair and bowed my head: “Father, I can’t go on like this. I know You want me to forgive her. Help me have the heart to do it.”
The next day, God did. I was putting away some sympathy notes from Tom’s schoolchildren, and as I reread the caring messages, Tom’s favorite bible verse slipped into my mind: (Eph 4:32 NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
My preacher had asked me to pray, and I had. Now, I found, I was ready to try the thing that God seemed to be asking me: Be Kind.
Brother Steele phoned ahead, and the following morning I walked up the brick path to the woman’s house. She had a frail look and her face was drawn. We sat down stiffly. At first it was difficult for both of us to talk, and then she began to tell me how her heart went out to me, and how miserable she was. She was afraid to drive a car now, she couldn’t work, and she couldn’t eat. Could it be, I wondered, that she was suffering even more than I? And then I heard my own voice blurt out: “I know you didn’t mean to hit my husband.” Her lips trembled. “If only I hadn’t left home that day!”
Without thinking about it, I put my arms around her. “I forgive you,” I said. “Now you must forgive yourself.” And, with God’s help, she did.
In this experience, I see 4 guidelines that may help someone else who “can’t” forgive.
1. Face the situation as honestly as you can and ask for God’s help. David and Psalms
2. Remember that God wants you to forgive. In fact, He commands it. (Col 3:13 NIV) Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
3. Look for a bond between you and the one who is denied your forgiveness. (Luke 6:35 NIV) But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
4. Let compassion enter your thoughts of that person. That person may be suffering, perhaps even more than you. (Prov 19:11 NIV) A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
2. After you forgive, what? By Norman Vincent Peale
Mr. Peale tells a story about a man who suffered from many health problems: headaches, skin troubles, gastric disturbances, insomnia. It did not take Mr. Peale long to discover that one basic cause was the burning anger that he felt toward his brother. The brother, the executor of their parents’ estate, had misappropriated funds so badly that the man had been robbed of his inheritance. Mr. Peale said, “I told him that his anger was understandable, but that if he wanted to recover his health he would have to stop hating his brother. We talked a long time about the restorative power of forgiveness, and finally the man agreed to grit his teeth and forgive. But he kept coming back to see me, because there was no improvement in his health. All the unpleasant symptoms remained. Finally I said to him, “Are you sure you have forgiven your brother?” “Yes,” he said, “I’m sure. I’m not angry with him anymore.” Then another thought occurred to me. “Do you ever think about the results of what he did?” “Of course,” he said. “How can I not think about them? I’m reminded every time I look at my bank account and I am not able to buy basic necessities.” “Perhaps,” I said to him slowly, “that’s the trouble. You’ve made an effort to forgive your brother, but every time you think of what he did, the old resentments come flooding back. You’ve made some progress, but you’re only halfway home. You have learned to forgive. Now you must learn how to forget.” “Forget?” he echoed. “How can I forget?”
Maybe there are areas in your life where you have been withholding forgiveness. If there are any grudges that you are carrying around with you (Like a big rock), take a deep breath and decide to get rid of them. Here are some suggestions that may help us to forgive and forget.
1. Accept the undeniable medical fact that the refusal to forgive is a threat to your physical health as well as to your peace of mind. (Mat 18:34 NIV) In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (Mat 18:35 NIV) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
2. Pray the Lord’s prayer- (Mat 6:9-15) "This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
3. When you do forgive, send a signal to the person you are forgiving. Deciding to change your attitude is fine; but if that’s all you do, it’s like a secret confession, nobody knows about it. God wants us to confess in front of others, so we should do the same to those we are forgiving. So write a note, make a phone call, or even send a small gift. Then, even if there is no response, the fact that you have forgiven is on the record, and the burden of anger you have been carrying is laid aside. (Rom 12:18 NIV) If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
4. Pray for the person who wronged you. Jesus told us (Luke 6:27 NIV) “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, (Luke 6:28 NIV) bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
5. Believe that the capacity for forgiveness is possible through Jesus Christ. Never say never. We can forgive and forget. Some passages help us here:
a. (Phil 3:13 NIV) But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, (Phil 3:14 NIV) I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
b. (Phil 4:6-7) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
c. (Phil 4:8 NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
d. (2 Cor 10:5 NIV) we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
