(Slide 1) Last week, I asked you to write down one way you would exercise responsibility this past week and I told you that I was going to ask you if you did. So how did you exercise responsibility last week in a new way? (Allow for congregational response.)
Thank you!
My responsibility exercise included learning from failure to exercise my responsibility in a situation that I will not go into this morning. It was an important but not a life and death situation. But, I realized that I let something go by and I should have done something about it.
There are moments in life when, as a child, a teen, and an adult we get upset about something and say… (Slide 2) It’s not fair!
When was the last time you said that? I heard at the table this past week when some members of the family were able to get dessert and others were not. (And no, it was not me who said it!)
Today we are going to study the pillar called “Fairness.”
What is fairness? Is it always ‘even Steven?’
To start us thinking about fairness I have a story to tell and when I am finished, I want to know what you think about the story.
(Slide 3) A woman was near death from a special kind of cancer. There was one drug that the doctors thought might save her.
(Slide 4) The drug was expensive to make, but the druggist was charging ten times what the drug cost him to produce. He paid $200 for the radium and charged $2,000 for a small dose of the drug.
(Slide 5) The sick woman's husband, Heinz, went to everyone he knew to borrow the money, but he could only get together about $ 1,000, which is half of what it cost. He told the druggist that his wife was dying and asked him to sell it cheaper or let him pay later.
(Slide 6) But the druggist said, "No, I discovered the drug and I'm going to make money from it." So, Heinz got desperate and broke into the man's store to steal the drug for his wife.
Here is the question: Should Heinz have broken into the store to steal the drug for his wife? Why or why not? (Source: “Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development at www.wikipedia.com)
What do you think?
Thank you for your answers!
Did Heinz have a right to say, “It’s not fair?” I think that he did. Is the purpose of being a druggist or pharmacist to help heal people? What might a fair resolution of this situation look like? (Ask for response.)
Life is not fair…sometimes, is it?
I asked this past week via e-mail to some of you to take an on-line personality test and send me the results and then, if you did, I asked you a follow up question, ‘Do you have a strong sense of fairness?’ (Thanks to all who responded!)
I asked that question for a reason. I have wondered if certain personalities are more concerned about fairness than other personalities. Some people cry, “It’s not fair” at the drop of a hat. Others seem to take everything in stride. Some people start petitions to correct a perceived unfairness while others simply say, “It’s not worth getting bent out of shape.”
This is what I found in my very unscientific survey:
(Slide 7)
• Reliable Realist
• Dreamy Idealist
• Harmony Seeking Idealist
• Good Natured Realist
• Engaged Idealist
• Reliable Realist
• Social Realist
• Determined Realist
• Good Natured Realist
• Spontaneous Idealist
• Engaged Idealist
• Reliable Realist
• Social Realist
• Determined Realist
(Source: 41 question test at www.41q.com)
I am not going to go into detail about each personality type because I did not get full information about each of them and I caution you not to take these tests too seriously though there are some helpful tests that a qualified person can administer to you. Where there is an underline that person indicated that fairness matters to them.
Notice that three of the personality types mentioned here, “Reliable Realist,” “Engaged Idealist” and “Social Realist” indicated that they felt a sense of fairness within them. I am not claiming that there is a correlation between these types and fairness. But there are some people who have a stronger bent toward fairness issues. (Sometimes we use the word justice in place of fairness. What is fair? What is just?)
And I appreciated the comments of some who acknowledged Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:45 that the “rain falls on the just and unjust.” That life is not fair at times.
I started talking about this on Twitter and one of my “tweeps” and fellow bloggers Jane Lebak made this statement, “In my humble opinion, more mature Christians tend toward mercy as they develop. I loved the idea of Real Justice as a kid. Then I witnessed it & it's scary.”
(Source: Direct Message from Jane Lebak on twitter.com the week of January 24, 2010)
Dr Robyn Silverman, a parent, educator, and character education expert makes a point about fairness that made sense to me.
(Slide Eight) “Sometimes children confuse fairness with sameness and yet they are definitely not always the same.”
(Source:://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOcL3siv3mk)
What, however, does scripture have to say about fairness?
Let’s turn to Genesis 27 and get acquainted with two twin brothers named Esau and Jacob. They were most likely fraternal twins because they had different physical features.
Esau was born first which meant in that day, that when Isaac, their father died, Esau got everything as the first born son. Jacob wouldn’t.
Well, one day, as we read, Isaac, who is getting older and is dying, asked Esau to go hunting for some meat and prepare it in the way Isaac liked it. Esau agrees.
Mom, who was partial to Jacob, overhears this and decides to trick Isaac into giving Jacob the inheritance. So she prepares a meal like Esau would and then disguises Jacob to feel like Esau when Isaac, whose sight is failing, touches him.
The ruse works and Isaac blesses Jacob which was a very important thing to do.
Let’s go to verse 34 and hear the rest of the story:
As soon as Isaac had blessed Jacob, and almost before Jacob had left his father, Esau returned from his hunting trip. Esau prepared his father’s favorite meat dish and brought it to him. Then he said, “I’m back, Father, and I have the wild game. Sit up and eat it so you can give me your blessing.”
But Isaac asked him, “Who are you?” “Why, it’s me, of course!” he replied. “It’s Esau, your older son.”
Isaac began to tremble uncontrollably and said, “Then who was it that just served me wild game? I have already eaten it, and I blessed him with an irrevocable blessing before you came.”
When Esau understood, he let out a loud and bitter cry. “O my father, bless me, too!” he begged.
But Isaac said, “Your brother was here, and he tricked me. He has carried away your blessing.”
Esau said bitterly, “No wonder his name is Jacob, for he has deceived me twice, first taking my birthright and now stealing my blessing. Oh, haven’t you saved even one blessing for me?”
Isaac said to Esau, “I have made Jacob your master and have declared that all his brothers will be his servants. I have guaranteed him an abundance of grain and wine—what is there left to give?”
Esau pleaded, “Not one blessing left for me? O my father, bless me, too!” Then Esau broke down and wept.
His father, Isaac, said to him, “You will live off the land and what it yields, and you will live by your sword. You will serve your brother for a time, but then you will shake loose from him and be free.”
Esau seeks to kill Jacob but Jacob runs for his life and several years would pass before they are reconciled.
(Slide 9) It’s not fair!
Not to Esau it wasn’t and probably Isaac, too!
Life is not fair, sometimes.
Now, notice that Esau says, “he (Jacob) has deceived my twice, first by taking my birthright and now stealing my blessing.”
Let’s go back a few chapters to Genesis 25 and take a look at something. We start with verse 29:
One day when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau arrived home exhausted and hungry from a hunt. Esau said to Jacob, “I’m starved! Give me some of that red stew you’ve made.” (This was how Esau got his other name, Edom—“Red.”)
Jacob replied, “All right, but trade me your birthright for it.”
“Look, I’m dying of starvation!” said Esau. “What good is my birthright to me now?”
So Jacob insisted, “Well then, swear to me right now that it is mine.” So Esau swore an oath, thereby selling all his rights as the firstborn to his younger brother. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and lentil stew. Esau ate and drank and went on about his business, indifferent to the fact that he had given up his birthright.
When Esau and Jacob lived, the custom was that the first-born son got a double portion of the inheritance as well as becoming the head of the family. It was okay to trade it, but if you did, you lost the double portion and the head of family status.
That’s what Esau did. So, was it fair for him to loose the blessing of his father, too?
After Jacob got away from his very, very angry brother, he had to deal with his habit of deceiving, or tricking people.” Finally, many years after their split, Jacob and Esau were reconciled.
But the night before they were, Jacob wrestling with either an angel or God Himself and, I think, his conscience as well before they met. He had to face the truth about himself that, until he did, would cause him problems.
Life is not fair but God is fair.
If we say we love Jesus and want to follow Him, then fairness needs to be a part of our character. How do we become fair people?
(Slide 10) Here are some suggestions from Character Counts!
• Play by the rules
• Take turns and share
• Be open-minded; listen to others
• Don’t take advantage of others
• Don’t blame others carelessly
When you play a game, either a table game or a video game, do you play by the rules or do you take advantage of others? If you keep taking advantage of others, how long is it before they stop playing with you?
“But, Pastor Jim, what happens if I am being taken advantage of when playing a game?” Quit playing. Tell the person, “Until you start playing fair, I am not going to play with you.”
I like that they suggest, “Being open-minded and listening to others.” Some of the most important lessons I have learned has been when I have quit talking and started listening, especially to people who are a different color from me or a different language or a different religion. I still disagree with some of what they say or believe, but I listen to them and as I do so I respect them, something that helps a person be fair.
Jacob finally, I think, learned fairness from not taking advantage of others, something that was hard for him not to do. He took advantage of his brother, and then later, he took advantage of his father-in-law, who also took advantage of him, and then only when he had wrestled with God and admitted to his deceitfulness, did Jacob begin to really change.
Kids and teens, life is not always fair. You will not always get what you ask for or hope for. But God is good and God is fair and God is just. He will one day set everything in order. Life will be fair again.
But He very clearly asks us to be fair to others and the Bible reminds us of this in places like Isaiah 56:1 “Be just and fair to all,” says the Lord. “Do what is right and good, for I am coming soon to rescue you.” (NLT)
As I finish, I want each of us to think about this next week.
There is the rest of today
There is Monday
There is Tuesday
There is Wednesday
There is Thursday
There is Friday
There is Saturday
As you think about these days, where might you have the opportunity to practice fairness? At school, at home, at work, with a neighbor or a co-worker, or a classmate.
Let us be fair people this week. Someone needs us to be fair. Who might that be for you?
Amen.
