Text: 1 Corinthians 13:5b-6, Title: The Hallmarks of Love 3, Date/Place: NRBC, 3/7/10, AM
A. Opening illustration: A young man left his employer, a lumber merchant, and began business in opposition to him. For a while he prospered greatly and got many orders that would have gone to the firm he had left. But just when his business seemed to be most flourishing, and he had more orders than he could supply, a great fire in his yard destroyed all his lumber. The day after the fire he saw his old employer coming toward his office, and he said, “I could have hated him, for I thought he was coming to gloat over my misfortune. But he came to me as a friend in need and said, “I know you are contracted to supply lumber to your customers by certain dates, and this unfortunate fire makes it impossible for you to do it. But my lumberyard is at your disposal. You can have what you need and pay me at your own convenience. Your business may go on as usual.” The young man was overwhelmed by this example; the hatred that he had felt gave place to love.
B. Background: Paul continues in his list of defining qualities of Christian love. Four more verbs indicate things that love is not. Reminder: agape love is defined as an unconditional, self-sacrificing, and highly valuing love.
C. Main thought: Three more hallmarks of genuine Christian love.
A. Love is not getting easily angered (v. 5b)
1. In Corinth, one group was puffed up with pride over their status in the church and use of spiritual gifts, and the other group was angry about their attitude and injury. One group boasted and bragged, while the other became better and nursed their wounds. Paul says that both are in the wrong. It’s kinda like marriage counseling when one or both spouses come expecting you to fix the other because they are the problem. This character of love is a continuance or a reemphasis of exercising patience, as found in v. 4. This word means to be easily angered, irritated, incited, or stirred up to anger. It means something between irritation and anger which takes offense because one’s self-regard has been dented, wounded, or punctured by some sharp point. It speaks of love’s ability not to be led into sinful reactions toward others, even when persistently pestered. It speaks of a lack of concern for one’s own rights, in that we don’t get angry when we are deprived. It speaks of the difference between righteous anger and sinful concern for self. In fact this word was used of Paul in Athens when his spirit was provoked within him over idolatry.
2. Pro 14:17, 15:18; Pro 16:32; Col 3:8, Eph 4:31, Matt 5:22, Pro 29:11
3. Illustration: “She makes me so angry.” “Love cannot alter the fact that one may get on your nerves, but it can rule out allowing yourself to be provoked by it.” Karl Barth, “Love considers nothing its right, and everything its obligation” –JM, It is said of Julius Caesar that, when provoked, he used to repeat the whole Roman alphabet before he allowed himself to speak. Keep cool; anger is not an argument. “He who goes to bed angry has the devil for a bed-fellow.” Never take your enemies to bed with you.”
4. This is again one of those hallmarks of love that we must learn, and rely on the Holy Spirit to bring about fruit in our lives. Tell about my encounter with Charlie at Ronnie’s house that summer. Speak about small “temper bombs.” Explain how it doesn’t matter how you think you are made (by the way, it is actually the sin nature that is to blame, but that does not absolve responsibility). It is not only loving to defer anger, but wise. When we speak in anger, all we usually do is get into trouble. Scientific studies have proven you can calm the swell of anger with the tone and volume of your voice—Pro 15:1. This applies to parents and their children: you must not discipline in anger, but in calm, careful, calculated punishment and correction; so that their hearts are pointed toward God as a loving father who disciplines as well as toward the parents. Husbands, have you been angry at your wives this week? Wives at husbands? Telling them you love them, then acting the opposite will short-circuit your words and your integrity and their emotions. Someone at work make you mad? Children, have you angry at your parents this week? Ever notice how that those temper bombs produce broken relationships over things that amount to little consequence. We MUST learn to control our temper! It is not beyond our control; we do it all the time for fear of legal or social consequences. Consider a mother who has a terrible day. The washer leaks on the floor, kids fight, supper burns, she breaks her favorite bowl, kids track mud on her clean floor. So she explodes, screams at the kids and threatens them. Then the phone rings and it's her husband's boss. Suddenly she is quite capable of carrying on a polite conversation. Dad works on the car. The dealer gives him a wrong part, it won't go together right, then it won't run, and a wrench slips and splits his knuckle. He's screaming and using profanity. Then a car pulls in the driveway; it's the preacher's wife come for a visit. Suddenly he is calm and polite. We should fear the spiritual consequences. Consider a mother who has a terrible day. The washer leaks on the floor, kids fight, supper burns, she breaks her favorite bowl, kids track mud on her clean floor. So she explodes, screams at the kids and threatens them. Then the phone rings and it's her husband's boss. Suddenly she is quite capable of carrying on a polite conversation In fact, displeasure to God should be our primary motivation over and above legal consequences or personal benefit/gain.
B. Love is not keeping records of wrongs (v. 5b)
1. Evil means all kinds of evil. The word here is logizomai, which can mean one of two things, both of which are theologically, ethically, and practically correct and Christian. 1) The KJV/NKJV translate the word as think, lit. put together in one’s mind. Therefore love does not put together evil against someone else. It does not consider or meditate on evil for another, regardless of how deep an injury. 2) This word can also be, and most often is translated counts or keeps the books, for it was a commercial bookkeeping term. Therefore, love does not keep record of wrongs done against it. This is modeled after God Himself.
2. Zech 8:17, Matt 5:38-42, 11:26, Col 2:14, Philip 4:8, Prov 19:11
3. Illustration: “Love, instead of entering evil as a debt in its account-book, voluntarily passes the sponge over what it endures” The first monk looked down at his partner, now lying on the ground, moaning. Have you wondered why I am not complaining?” he asked. “Your back hurts because you are still carrying the woman. But I set her down five miles ago.” Cartoon of wife to marriage counselor, regarding husband: “And then, do you know what he did on our honeymoon, just 21 years ago?” Kathleen Sanborn, Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. A church where one family on one side of the aisle will not talk to a family on the other side of the aisle for years!
4. Two more things that you must train and discipline your brain and heart to do. Renew your mind with scripture. Preach to yourself when bitterness and thoughts of revenge and resent. Renounce them aloud by the power of the Spirit if need be. As Christians we are supposed to think good thoughts about others. This does not mean to never evaluate motives, but simply that we don’t jump to unwarranted conclusions; or that we plan out revenge or hope for harm. Do you spend time plotting revenge against those that have wronged you? Do you assume the best or the worst about others motivations? Are you resentful for things that have happened in the past? Do you continually bring up all the failures of your spouse, friend, sister, parent, or child, etc.? Even here at New River, like the church in Corinth, does something that someone has done to you constantly discolor your image of that person? Use the eraser, then again, and again. There is probably no forgetting, but you can choose to forgive. Are there feuds going on in your family? Are you a part of them? Have you done everything in your power to forgive and resolve the differences? As Christians we must forgive! Doesn’t mean condoning sin, being a doormat, or that we will feel forgiving. But forgiveness is the hallmark of the Christian faith, as well as Christian love. Even when we don’t feel forgiveness, we must discipline ourselves to act forgiveness, treating the other person in a manner that would show forgiveness. Don’t keep lists and don’t keep score, you will always win because you cheat and you are blind to your own faults, and God is the only judge without partiality.
C. Love is rejoicing in truth (v. 6)
1. Love takes no joy in sin. Whether that is someone else’s sin or a sin that is inflicted on you or another. Not in others, not in self, not anywhere! To rejoice in evil is to justify it, or call it OK. As we have mentioned before, love does not tolerate sin. Whether it was a man with his father’s wife or brothers suing one another. It may endure it, but it does not rejoice in it. Sin grieves God, therefore should grieve us. Sin destroys and therefore should be grieved over. No joy in global forms—war, poverty, suppression, or local forms—fall of a brother or an unbeliever. The truth that love does rejoice in is God’s truth, His Word. It rejoices in its declaration, and repents when convicted. Love stands on the side of the gospel and looks for mercy and justice for all, including those with whom it disagrees.
2. Pro 17:15, 24:17, Luke 19:41, Rom 1:32, 12:9, Isa 5:20, 2 Tim 3:1-5, 2 John 1:4, 3 John 1:3,
3. Illustration: “The person full of Christian love joins in rejoicing on the side of behavior that reflects the gospel.” “An unwillingness to support enthusiastically all the accurate teaching of Scripture inevitably betrays the failure of an individual to love Christ as he should.” –Patterson.
4. Love doesn’t want to hide sin, but to expose it, deal with it in a proper fashion, and move on. Sometimes we say that someone got what he or she deserved with a smirk of enjoyment. Gossip is the most common form of rejoicing in sin. Sometimes we are hoping that they fall. Sometimes we gloat with gossip at that fall, increasing the sin on our behalf. Sometimes we say that a sin was worth it. Also in view here is honesty and integrity and honor—love rejoices in these truths too. Are you offended when someone close to you is used by God to point out painful truth regarding your own life? Do you really desire the truth about yourself? Do you laugh at your children when they disobey? One of the gauges for the level of our desire for truth is how much time you spend in God’s word.
Closing illustration: two stories of reconciliation between parents and children
