Map to Manhood
John 8:30-32
* Today we celebrate “Father’s Day.” It is a day we set aside to do what the Bible commands us to do every day, that is, “Honor our Father.” When God gave this command to Moses, in Exodus 20, He tied with it an unusual add-on of a promise. Ex 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” The Psalmist tells us this is the first commandment with a promise. The promise is a long life and a home that God gives.
* Today I offer a much needed word to our men (Fathers, Grandfathers, Great-Grand-fathers, Step Father, Father’s-in-law, and even Fathers to be). Here is my question: What does it mean to be a man? I’m talking about a male person whom God calls a man? What is your idea of this?
* Turn with me and let’s read John 8:30-32 (READ) 30 As He was saying these things, many believed in Him. 31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, you really are My disciples. 32 You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
* As I have prayed about today, I have sensed one of the gifts I can give to our men on this Father’s day is a Map to Manhood. Almost 2 dozen of our men spent 6 months in study 2 years ago discovering what it means to be a Biblically authentic man. Our text tells us, one and all, that if we are true disciples then we will be consistently in His word which will result in a clear understanding of Biblical truth and that truth will set us free. Today, let’s spend our time in His word and consider some thought about manhood.
1. The Misunderstanding about Manhood – In Men’s Fraternity, Robert Lewis tells us that ‘Men are confused.’ Some may ask, “About what?” And the answer would be ‘about what constitutes a REAL MAN.” There are three types of men whom the world seems to think is “right on.”
a. Dictating – This is the man who is taught that to BE A MAN, you have to be the toughest kid on the block and everything centers on what YOU want, what YOU unilaterally decide and what you need. There is no debate or discussion, the man is the boss and the hoss and if you mess with his little his little kingdom, you’ll be lost! (If you know what I mean).
b. Doormat – This is the absolute opposite. Men today have been so often told to “get in touch” with their feminine side that their masculinity is not to be found. They have literally become emasculated. This man has difficulty making a decision because it is going to make someone mad or be overturned (you get what I saying??) This man, while some may say he is the sweetest and even the best Christian, in truth as we will see, he does not resemble the Christ of the Cross in any sense.
c. Deviant – This is a frightening word which carries many implications but we better deal with it because it has permeated our society. Today many young ladies are choosing men who are ‘bad.’ In fact, many give the purer and better part of themselves to a bad man “just to have fun” only to seek out a ‘Christian’ man to offer them stability for life (& they have less than their best to give). Here’s the issue as we’ll see; one of the strong motivators for males is the winning of a woman’s heart. Because we are all fallen creatures and see life through humanistic eyes, by default, men are being told that the worse they are, the more of a man they become. This has man molded himself to the expectation of the world. I call it deviant because it is so foreign to God’s design of a man.
2. The Mystery of Manhood – When God made Adam, he designed a being with characteristics and attributes that, when used, would resemble God. After the fall of man, things got a little distorted and corrupt for mankind resulting in a debate about what a man really is. (Review Genesis to see)
a. The Heart of a Man – What is it that ignites the heart of a man? In his book “Wild at Heart”, John Eldridge says every man has a ‘battle to fight’, ‘an adventure to live’, and a ‘beauty to win.’ It we examine the behavior of the average boy from preschool thru pre-teen thru adolescence; we’ll discover all of these being played out. Two years ago almost 2 dozen of our men went through Robert Lewis’ “Men’s Fraternity.” Bob teaches that every man has; ‘a work to do’, ‘a will to obey’, and a ‘woman to love and care for.’ For my two-cent’s worth, these two descriptions go hand in hand. Additionally, in Men’s Fraternity we learned a ‘definition’ (that is, a ‘handle’) for a real man. A real man accepts responsibility, rejects passivity, leads courageously, and expects a greater reward, God’s reward. This parallels God’s charge to Adam to work and watch over the garden and to have dominion over the animals and the earth.
b. The Hurt of a Man – Men, I ask you to not take offense at this thought but I will submit that we live in the day of the hurting male. Because of the misunderstanding about manhood and the lack of teaching about becoming a man, young boys have been left to their own to develop their own concept of manhood. Where did they get their concepts? Some came from parents, friends, media, and even celebrities. If you have a boy in your house, please never forget that a ‘man’ needs respect like he needs air to breath. (A woman needs love) A man will learn when it is taught in a way that is perceived as respecting his person, but that same male will ‘bow up’ when treated disrespectfully. By the way, males are not designed to sit and learn, they learn by observing and doing.
* This is one reason that men are seemingly disappearing from churches. David Murrow’s book, “Why Men Hates Going To Church” is an sobering read that sheds light on this problem.
c. The Heading of a Man – Left to their own, men will congregate with others who are like minded (I.E. gangs, clubs, sports, etc). Some of these may be positive, but because of the pull of the world toward a masculine appearance, much of the influence away from the family of God is tough. If a man is indeed looking for a battle to fight, if he is looking for an adventure to live, if he desires to win his woman; and he is outside of Christ, it could get ugly. Man’s heart is to do something, man’s hurt comes when he loses his direction, and he heads toward whatever will give him some relief.
* All that we have said to this point is just the warm up, the introduction, and the beginning of what can be a message that impacts every man.
3. The Map to Manhood – Men love maps!! Don’t give us the verbal instructions like, “Go down that road until you get to the fencepost with flowers on it, take a left and go down until you see ‘grannies garden’ and take a right until you come to the beautiful yellow house and turn left.” No, just draw me a map and I’m good! As little boys, we loved ‘treasure’ maps, hunting maps, and fishing maps. This morning let me draw us a map to manhood based on the life of Jesus as written about by Matthew. This is not original with me; David Murrow’s most recent book is entitled “The Map.” While we will only scratch the surface this morning, let’s get this concept firmly in our minds.
* Let’s begin with the signs for male and female. Just to calm your fears, remember the word “mostly” or ‘generally’. As I share this concept with you, if you decide to push these principles to every person & thing you know, there will be an exception. Throughout centuries of literature from many different cultures, we discover that ‘generally speaking’ male attributes are aggression, strength, goal orientation, and even conflict. At the same time female attributes are seen as love, communication, family nurturing, and even harmony. To agree on these (in general) gives us common ground to understand this map to becoming an authentic man that God is pleased with.
* Becoming God’s man means beginning at base camp. If you were mountain climbing, what you do at base camp is critical for the successful journey. For us, this means to be saved, to believe, to commit, and to receive. This begins the journey. While we’ll find men outside of Christ displaying these journeys, without Christ, it’s empty.
a. The journey of Submission – As you see, Matthew 1-7 depicts in the life of our Lord Christ, the idea of submission. From His genealogy until He finishes the Sermon on the Mount, generally He displays a submissive or an attitude that is more feminine in nature. To see this on the screen is to see that the first leg of the journey toward manhood takes you away from the very things which ‘feel’ masculine. In these first seven chapters Jesus submitted to baptism, to the process of being tempted (though He didn’t succumb), and to the teaching of the Beatitudes. We discover 2 difficulties on this leg of the journey; first, men (by nature) don’t really want to submit to anyone. This is seen in boss-employee relationship. Yet, to reach our true potential we must first learn the lesson of submission. This could well be the reason that the Bible teaches NOT to put a novice in the position of a spiritual leader. What do we learn in this leg of the journey? We learn to relinquish our own power, to depend on God, and to receive God’s love. There are many other lessons to be learned as we move away from our masculinity, but just know that until we learn to submit, we will never become a good and Godly man.
* When I was young we used to ride horses. For the novice horse trainer, one of the dangers was to break the horse’s spirit. To fully enjoy the power of that animal means to bring him under control. (the same for us)
* The 2nd problem with submission is that many men get hung up in this part of the journey. Jesus was not GENTLE all of His life. He moved to;
b. The journey of Strength. – Notice the first 7 words of Chapter 8. When He left the mountain, things changed. Let’s review a few of these (Review chapter 8-25). Notice the amount of time Matthew gives to this leg of the journey; it is almost 2/3 of the trek. When a man walks in this journey, he should expect divine power. I’m not talking about ‘magical’ powers to deceive but mighty power to display God’s work. Walking in strength will call you to become demanding. Ouch. This is why we must learn the submission and love part FIRST, it is never to be forgotten. The demanding is required ‘if’ we are to overcome the gates of hell. It’s like the “speak the truth in love” principle. Without submission, you may be tempted to simply ‘speak the truth’ and who cares about the love. (Illus: Remember the Titans – Coach Boone brought the races together by being demanding. He loved but his love required him to demand). On this leg of the journey, a man will determine his mission and put away the distractions. This journey requires us rethinking our concepts about manhood. We may invite conflict as a way to peace. The worse thing a man can do is pretend like there is no problem & ignore the issue.
c. The journey of Sacrifice. – If you will notice, the only part of the journey to manhood which takes us toward the masculine side of the mountain is the 2nd leg, the journey of strength. In a nutshell, when Jesus had completed His mission of teaching, telling, and confronting, it was time for Him to sacrifice. In that process He turned it over to the men He had tried to develop. As you look as the last leg of this journey, please notice it is the shortest and the steepest, which makes it the hardest. Mountain-climbers will tell you that the last leg of the journey is the most difficult. In His journey of sacrifice Jesus was abandoned, betrayed, beaten, and weakened. He gave up His strength in lieu of the greater good. For the average man, the journey of sacrifice may not be a ‘physical death’ but it is certainly the time we relinquish the strength we have enjoyed. It is a time that we hand-off to the next generation. It is when we give all that we have been for all they can be. Sacrifice is the pinnacle of manhood as demonstrated by Jesus.
* There is much more to learn about these journeys, but I bring them to you today that we might visualize the journey which Jesus has called us to. It is not a license to abuse; it is a life to avail. I am convinced that the reason our country, culture, community, and churches are in such disarray is because God needs men to understand His call to Manhood. He needs a few good men (Video—Gaither’s “A few Good Men”)
* Men full of compassion who laugh, love, and cry! Men who face eternity and aren’t afraid to die. Men who’ll fight for freedom & honor once again. GOD JUST NEEDS A FEW GOOD MEN!!.
