Summary: The problem of acceptance cross-generationally in a church

1So Abram went up from Egypt, he and his wife, and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the Negeb. 2Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. 3He journeyed on by stages from the Negeb as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, 4to the place where he had made an altar at the first; and there Abram called on the name of the LORD. 5Now Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents, 6so that the land could not support both of them living together; for their possessions were so great that they could not live together, 7and there was strife between the herders of Abram’s livestock and the herders of Lot’s livestock. At that time the Canaanites and the Perizzites lived in the land. 8Then Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herders and my herders; for we are kindred. 9Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left.” 10Lot looked about him, and saw that the plain of the Jordan was well watered everywhere like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, in the direction of Zoar; this was before the LORD had destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. 11So Lot chose for himself all the plain of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward; thus they separated from each other. 12Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled among the cities of the Plain and moved his tent as far as Sodom. 13Now the people of Sodom were wicked, great sinners against the LORD.

What do you do with a “sticky situation”?

The board chairman came to the pastor with good news and bad news. “What’s the good news?” asked the pastor.

“Well, the board has approved financial support for your mission trip to India.” “Great,” remarked the pastor; “what could be bad news after that?” “They only approved a one-way ticket.”

In case you haven’t noticed, life is a pretty messy road trip. Abram was following God, so he shouldn’t have complications – right? But there were complications. He had to lie his way out of a sticky situation in Egypt. (Actually he had his wife tell the lie). His wife was beautiful, and the powerful rulers liked beautiful women. Abram led them to believe she was his sister (a half-truth) and so Sarai went to live in the harem of an Egyptian ruler.

God spared Abram the consequences of his untruth with a miracle, but the damage went further than a little embarrassment over being caught in a lie. It seems Abram’s nephew, Lot, learned well by observing his uncle – he adopted a selfish way of looking at the world; he learned to choose what he wanted, over choosing what’s best – even if you have to lie to get it.

The story seems pretty simple – lots of blessings from God made both Abram and Lot rich. They had so much stuff (land, herds, and material possessions) and so many servants to handle the stuff, that they had a hard time keeping the peace in that crowded part of the desert. Abram’s servants fussed with Lot’s servants over watering rights and animal brands; it was an unbearable family squabble.

Abram used his typical logic to avoid making hard choices in sticky situations. He made a typical Abram choice – separate! “Lot, you choose…go this way, and I’ll go that way; or if you want – the other way around.” Of course Lot chose what he wanted – and it was a ticking time bomb in Sodom that he chose. Eventually the wickedness of that place brought the house down on top of itself. Lot and his family barely escaped with their pinfeathers burning; and they carried away precious little else of what had seemed a really great place to retire. Talk about a housing industry collapse!

Abram – sticky situations

Lot – selfish choices

And so what do we make of this account?

There are at least a few obvious lessons to be learned here from the bad choices made by both Abram and Lot. Lot lost respect for Abram during the Egypt deception over his wife, Sarai. There’s a parallel today with young people who have little respect for the church because they see contradictions between what Christians say, and how they live.

The strife between Abram and Lot certainly alienated the pagan Canaanites. There is no telling how many non-believers have been lost for eternity because church folks cannot get along. To anyone who truly loves the LORD and his church -- it is terribly embarrassing to hear, Oh, yeah -- you're from that church that's always fighting. Worship there? I don’t think so; I'd rather have a root canal! The poor witness of bad ripples lasts a long, long time!

What can we learn from the way Abram acted? Separation is better than a bad witness. True! In fact, in the Christian Scriptures we read that Paul and Barnabas separated over their dispute concerning John Mark. But the sovereignty of God is to be trusted when there is much at stake. Abram had not left much room for God to act when he was down in Egypt. He chose the comfort of a lie over the more dicey consequences of telling the truth. And now he avoided the more difficult choice of perhaps lightening the load of material stuff, so he and Lot could remain together. Truly, Abram had not yet grown up!

Lot's scorecard is a monument to foolishness:

a. He should have deferred first choice to Abram, his elder.

b. He chose the excitement of a fast lane life in Sodom over the excellence of serving God in the desert. Sodom looked exciting, but God hadn't ordained that land for the descendants of Abram.

c. He didn't ask the elder Abram for advice; he saw Abram's failure in Egypt, and supposed his uncle could never help him. How wrong we are to judge others before we have faced what they have faced!

The results of Lot's foolish choices are well chronicled in the ensuing chapters. He pitches his tent toward Sodom, then moves into the city (14.12), and finally becomes one of them, and a city leader also (19.1). It’s Lot’s downward spiral of bad choices!

Good lessons – How do we apply them? What have they to do with us?

American 21st century culture is described as “postmodern”, even post-Christian. The predominant culture in our world is not like what you remember from 20 years ago, or more, or even less. There has been a change, and it is still changing – away from the picture of Mayberry RFD. It is more like – make that much more like “Friends” and “Jerry Springer”.

In reality our culture is probably better described as a layer cake of labels. The layers of different generations all have labels. The “Builder” generation is 70-90ish – The “Baby Boomers” are from my age (63) down to around mid-forties. We have Gen-X, Y and, now, the Millennials. There has always been the reality of the generation gap; that’s where one generation cannot really talk to another, because they have different languages.

So, here we are in the Builder/Boomer/GenX,Y/Millennial/post-Christian era. What does that look like? Look around.

• In one layer of our cake we have balding men with pot-bellies and white whiskers that they shave off.

• The newest (icing) layer has flat-bellies with hair going every which way and whiskers they almost shave off.

• There are earrings on Builder ladies and Millennial men.

• There are piercings that Millennials will locate anywhere on their bodies (as long as it complements the tattoos).

• The 70 year-old Builders have tattoos, but being in the Marines was a pre-requisite.

• There are fuzzy, curly perms out there and long purple hair (maybe orange tomorrow). There are those choosing to not get married, because their parents made a mess of it.

• When you put this cake together – perhaps in the same church building – it can be a sticky situation, eh?

To some degree, it’s always been this way, and it’s obvious we share in some of the stickiness. We have very young to very old in our community and this community of faith. Sometimes we do a good job of getting on each other’s nerves.

So, what are the choices? What shall we do?

We could choose like Abram

Abram said, “We are kindred – kinfolk…let’s not fight….we should avoid that at all costs.” If Abram represents the elders, do we really want to repeat that mistake? Abram opted for “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” separation…put distance between us!

• Maybe we need to trust God with the outcome a little better than that.

• Maybe we need to lighten the load of our possessions a little.

• Maybe there needs to be a little less “ownership” of the buildings and grounds, programs and carpets.

• Maybe we can trust that the Spirit of God does reside in these young people coming along.

• Maybe we ought to listen to that part of the Abram inside each of us that’s screaming, “We are kindred”. Paul spoke “body language”: 1 Co 12:27

27Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

We are members of each other, if we’re really kindred – that same Spirit which resides in the tattoo-pierced Millennial, also fills the pot-bellied Senior pastor!

We could choose like Lot

Lot was willing to leave Abram in the dust; “that crazy old man. I’m getting a great deal here and he never knew what hit him. I’m going to the big time in Sodom.” Abram knew how dealing deceitfully could tear you up inside. Every time he looked at his beautiful Sarai, he remembered the look in her eye as Abram allowed the Egyptian ruler to take her off to his harem. There’s a price to living in the fast lane. Abram knew it; Lot found it out – the hard way!

We could listen to Paul

In Paul’s lesson on “body language he ended with these words: “I will show you a still more excellent way.” This was the way Paul introduced the “love chapter.” Paul knew that dividing Christ could never happen.

For kindred in Christ, separation isn’t the way! God wants his church together. Granted, at times it is going to be a messy, sticky affair; at other times it will be grace-filled and a most marvelous experience!

Perhaps the grace in God’s plan is that it is always both sticky AND wonderful.

But through both, as in any marriage, it is for better AND for worse; in good times AND in bad times. In every time we need to find ways to bless each other.

You could ask the question, WHY? The answer is always the same: We are kindred! We are bought by the same blood, adopted by the same Father, and are filled with the same Spirit of Christ. And we are going to live together for eternity, earrings and pot-bellies, side-by-side!

How shall we do this?

It is one thing to talk of “ought-ness” – we ought to live this way – we ought to do such and so. It is another thing altogether to offer how to do it. The answer “how” is just as firm as the reason “why” – we keep our eyes on the mission; that’s how!

Our mission statement says that our purpose as a church is to be witnesses of Jesus Christ to our families (kindred), our community and the world. This is Christ’s promise for us if we look past the tattoos and assorted bellies, so that we can focus on the mission: Jesus said: I will be with you!

Dear friends and kindred – when you’ve got Jesus with you, and you are focused on the mission to bring Christian witness everywhere you go, you won’t notice a poofy 60’s hairdo, or a snake and sabre tattoo. You won’t have the inclination to see anything in your brothers or sisters except the Christ who lives within them!

We have a song in our hymnal (#560) “Help Us Accept Each Other….Lord, free us, make us one!” What true freedom there is in accepting another who is truly kindred.

Can you pray that? Can you offer your hand of friendship and fellowship and love to those you don’t understand?

Can you sing another prayer? (#648) It is a prayer written for diverse people with different gifts, different styles, and even different thinking. It is a prayer for God’s help that we might join hands to work for God, and in joining hands – different as we may be “…that our ministries uniting may give glory to your name.”?

Sticky situations call for kindred joining of hearts and hands in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! Amen.