DEALING WITH TIMES OF STRESS
A. Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go RIGHT?
ILLUSTRATION:
The ALARM CLOCK doesn’t go off leaving you only 15 minutes to get to WORK. After getting ready you RUSH to your CAR only to discover a FLAT TIRE. You hurriedly CHANGE the TIRE and SPEED OFF to work, and then you are PULLED over by the POLICE. After receiving your TICKET, you take off again only to have your HORN go off ACCIDENTALLY and remain STUCK as you FOLLOW a leather-jacketed, tattooed, and bearded MOTOR CYCLE GANG down the street.
By the time you get to work you are an HOUR LATE and your BOSS chews you out. While at work you SPILL hot coffee in your LAP, your COMPUTER crashes, your SECRETARY quits, and your ACCOUNTANT comes by to INFORM you that instead of the $500.00 REFUND—you OWE the IRS $136.84.
Finally you arrive home from WORK ready to UNWIND and RELAX, then your NEIGHBOR comes to the DOOR holding a SHREDDED NEWSPAPER that your DOG chewed up. Your CHILDREN come in SCREAMING, your SPOUSE comes in FUSSING. So you decide to RETIRE early and get a good night’s SLEEP—the BED COLLAPSES.
COMMENT:
Days like this create so much TENSION. They become OPPRESSIVE, FRETFUL, INTENSE days of STRESS and ANXIETY.
B. What I shared with you is certainly an EXTREME, but we all have our SHARE of EXPERIENCES that can and does PRODUCE a lot of STRESS and ANXIETY in our
1. STRESS can be a CONTRIBUTING factor to chronic HEADACHES, BACKACHES, STOMACH PROBLEMS, NERVOUS DISORDERS, HIGH-BLOOD PRESSURE, HEART DISEASE, and even some forms of CANCER.
COMMENT:
Interestingly, both NEGATIVE and POSITIVE experiences can place the same PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL strains on the body.
2. However, STRESS effects people differently, depending on how well the person is able to COPE with or UTILIZE
COMMENT:
If that’s the way you are DEALING with STRESS, there’s a good possibility that you need COUNSELING. Come see me.
Some STRESS is vitally IMPORTANT to a person’s WELL-BEING. It stands to reason that without some PHYSICAL or MENTAL DEMANDS, a person will SETTLE with MEDIOCRITY and ACCOMPLISH very little in LIFE.
C. STRESS out of CONTROL becomes DISTRESS. It’s DISTRESS that we are to AVOID.
1. That’s why it’s imperative that we learn how to COPE when STRESS and WORRY get the best of us.
ILLUSTRATION:
Jay Adams, author and Biblical counselor, tells about a man named Joe who everybody knew was a WORRIER. One day Bill saw his WORRYING friend bouncing along as HAPPY as a man could be, WHISTLING and HUMMING and wearing a big SMILE. He looked as if he didn’t have a CARE in the world. Bill could hardly believe his eyes, so he had to find out what had HAPPENED.
“Joe, what happened to you?” he asked. “You don’t seemed WORRIED any more.” “It’s wonderful Bill, I haven’t WORRIED for several weeks now.” “That’s great; how did you MANAGE it?” Joe explained, “I HIRED a man to do all my WORRYING for me.” “What? You hired a man?” “That’s right,” Joe affirmed, “I pay him to take all my WORRIES from me.”
Bill mused, “I must say that it seems to be working for you. How much does he charge you?” “A thousand dollars a week.” “A thousand dollars a week?!! How can you possibly AFFORD a thousand dollars a week to PAY him?”
Joe answered, “That’s his WORRY.
2. Wouldn’t that be GREAT? Don’t you wish it was possible for someone to HANDLE all of your STRESS and WORRIES for you?
COMMENT:
The Bible says it’s possible. God encourages us to “Give our ANXIETIES to Him”- 1 Pet. 5:7. In Philippians 4:4-8 Paul gives us God’s SOLUTION to how we can COPE with STRESS and ANXIETY in our lives. But before we get into our text, I want us to look at some COMMON CAUSES OF STRESS:
MESSAGE:
I. COMMON CAUSES OF STRESS
A. FRUSTRATION
1. When we are UNABLE to satisfy a MOTIVE, FRUSTRATION results.
ILLUSTRATION:
After three years of DATING you ask your GIRLFRIEND to MARRY you, but she REFUSES.
You try to BORROW more MONEY to complete the ADDITION that you started on your house, but the LOAN is DENIED.
You are PROMISED a RAISE after working with the COMPANY for 6 months, but they won’t GIVE it to you.
2. When a MOTIVE or a NEED is not SUPPLIED or FULFILLED, this can become extremely STRESSFUL to an INDIVIDUAL.
B. CONFLICT
1. Conflict occurs when two or more MOTIVES cannot be SATISFIED because they INTERFERE with one another.
ILLUSTRATION:
You get a JOB PROMOTION with a big PAY RAISE and BETTER BENEFITS, but you have to MOVE to SOUTH DAKOTA.
The DOCTOR tells you that you must LOSE some WEIGHT, but you LOVE to EAT.
Your wife gets a JOB because you need the EXTRA INCOME, but now she is unable to SPEND as much time at HOME with you and the KIDS that you ENJOY her doing.
2. Anytime DECISIONS have to be made that CONFLICT each other either POSITIVELY or NEGATIVELY, STRESS will RESULT and possibly DEPLETE a person’s JOY.
C. PRESSURE
1. The term PRESSURE describes the STRESS that arises from THREATS of NEGATIVE events.
ILLUSTRATION:
I can’t explain how you know for sure. I guess you have to be a preacher to understand. There’s this INNER-FEELING that a preacher gets when he knows that he’s DONE all that he can for a particular congregation or when he’s no longer EFFECTIVE or no longer RESPECTED
by the membership. When this occurs, it’s time to MOVE ON!
I had been preaching at my very first church in south Texas for 3½ years when I had such a FEELING. My RELATIONSHIP with two of the ELDERS became very STRAINED, making my ministry UNBEARABLE at times. I knew deep down that it was time to LEAVE.
On occasions, ministers, although it is not what they want and it’s certainly not for the BEST, have to SECRETLY make INQUIRIES into another WORK. Some elderships have been known to FIRE their MINISTERS on the SPOT once it is LEARNED that they want to MOVE. This was a church known for FIRING preachers. So I felt that it was necessary to SECRETLY look for another congregation.
I was invited to PREACH at a congregation in Oklahoma. I took my VACATION time, and my family and I went up to look at the WORK. After PREACHING that Sunday I drove to Oklahoma City to visit my sister. While there, I got a call from one of the elders of that congregation to INFORM me that it was BETWEEN another PREACHER and me. But before they could make a decision, they wanted me to come and preach again the following Sunday. Well, I was supposed to be back home by then. As much as I DREADED it, I had to call one of my elders to tell him that I was looking at another work in Oklahoma and needed that Sunday off. He agreed, but wasn’t very HAPPY.
I brought only two SERMONS with me, and had already presented them to this congregation the Sunday before. I had only two days to write two new SERMONS. I did my BEST under the CIRCUMSTANCES, but they HIRED the other guy. We DROVE to my parents’ house to spend the night. The next day, Brenda and I loaded up the car preparing for the 8-hour drive back home.
By this time I was so DISTRESSED! The SECRECY, the HOURS and HOURS of DRIVING, the FRUSTRATION of trying out for a new WORK and didn’t get it, the WORRY of finally telling one of my ELDERS of my intentions of leaving, the PRESSURE of writing two SERMONS in such a short time, the DREAD of returning home not knowing if I still had a JOB and if my FURNITURE might be MOVED out of the PREACHER’S HOME onto the
DRIVEWAY—had all gotten the BEST of me.
After Brenda, the kids, and I got settled in the car, I started the ENGINE, put the car in GEAR, and just sat there for a moment with my foot on the BRAKE. Then, all of a sudden, I BURST into TEARS. I was so EMBARRASSED. I didn’t want my daughters to see my CRY, so I tried to STOP but couldn’t CONTROL myself. I was EMOTIONALLY and SPIRITUALLY DRAINED!
2. PRESSURES of NEGATIVE EVENTS such as I EXPERIENCED are a major SOURCE of STRESS.
D. LIFE EVENTS
ILLUSTRATION:
GRADUATION, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, HAVING a BABY, JOB PROMOTION, GETTING FIRED, ILLNESS, DEATH of a LOVED ONE, RETIREMENT . . . all of these EVENTS, whether POSITIVE or NEGATIVE, contribute greatly to STRESS in an INDIVIDUAL. And if the STRESS is not dealt with PROPERLY, a person can begin to CRUMBLE under such STRESS and lose the JOY that God wants him or her to have.
II. PAUL’S SOLUTION TO COPING WITH STRESS
A. Don’t take LIFE too SERIOUSLY- Philippians 4:4.
1. I think that’s what Paul is talking about when he said, “Rejoice in the Lord, ALWAYS.”
COMMENT:
In Philippians 1:12-21 we find that while writing these words Paul is in PRISON for PREACHING Jesus, he has PEOPLE causing him TROUBLE, he’s on DEATH ROW. Talk about STRESS! And, yet, Paul was able to REJOICE in spite of the FRUSTRATION, the CONFLICT, the PRESSURE, and the EVENTS that his FAITH in Jesus had THRUST upon him. He looked at his STRESSFUL SITUATION and said, “Who CARES. Nothing is going to DEPLETE me of my JOY!”- Phil. 1:18.
2. Proverbs 17:22- “A CHEERFUL HEART is good medicine, but a CRUSHED SPIRIT dries up the bones.”
COMMENT:
Which do you have: a CHEERFUL HEART or CRUSHED SPIRIT? If you have a CRUSHED SPIRIT—if you are DOWN and DEPRESSED all the time, then you need to learn how to LIGHTEN UP and start ENJOYING LIFE.
I know the WORLD is TOUGH, but we have GUARANTEED VICTORY in Jesus. Christ is our MEDICINE. He GIVES us a CHEERFUL HEART. He’s the One who CURES us of a CRUSHED SPIRIT caused by our SELF-PITY.
3. If you want to overcome the NEGATIVE effects of STRESS and ANXIETY, then start LAUGHING a lot.
B. Turn your ANXIETIES over to God- Philippians 4:6-7 (READ)
1. Paul was able to REJOICE in spite of his STRESSFUL SITUATIONS, because he had already turned them over to God in PRAYER.
ILLUSTRATION:
One ELDERLY lady had come under HARD TIMES. She would have to SELL her HOUSE and move into a RETIREMENT HOME. Her children had tried to help her understand the SITUATION but she couldn’t seem to GRASP it. She was WORRIED, FRETFUL, and UPSET all the time.
Her son said, “Mom, everything is going to be all right. You just need to PRAY about it and LEAVE things to the Lord.” She gasped and said, “Oh, no! Has it come to that?”
2. The PHILOSOPHY of many people’s APPROACH to LIFE seems to be, “WHY PRAY WHEN YOU CAN WORRY?”
a. I Peter 5:7- “Cast all your ANXIETY—your CARES— on him because He cares for you.”
b. Psalm 55:22- “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will SUSTAIN you; He will never let the RIGHTEOUS fall.”
COMMENT:
I know it sounds SIMPLISTIC, but the greatest STRESS and ANXIETY RELIEVER known to man is TALKING to God about it in PRAYER. Just TRY it for a WEEK.
Every time you feel yourself being STRESSED OUT about your JOB, your CHILDREN, your SPOUSE, the BILLS, the CHURCH, stop where you are and spend a few minutes FERVENTLY PRAYING to God about it. I’ll GUARANTEE you, by the end of that PRAYER you will feel an AMAZING PEACE.
C. DWELL UPON THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE- Philippians 4:8 (READ)
1. Paul means to FOCUS our attention on the POSITIVE things not the NEGATIVE.
a. It almost sounds like Paul is promoting “POSITIVE THINKING,” but it’s much more than that.
b. POSITIVE THINKING can attempt to DENY the NEGATIVE—Paul is not asking to DENY the NEGATIVE, but to REFOCUS on the POSITIVE.
COMMENT:
It doesn’t mean that we don’t see the NEGATIVE stuff in life, but that we decide that this NEGATIVE stuff will not be the FOCUS of our LIFE! People who think NEGATIVELY and PESSIMISTICALLY tend to be very UNSATISFIED, both with themselves and with others.
So Paul is saying that we need not DWELL on the NEGATIVE all the time. Instead we must REFOCUS our minds onto the BENEFICIAL, not the MENACING things. We must fix our CONCENTRATION on the PEACEFUL things not the WORRISOME. We must DWELL on the TRANQUIL things not the FRETFUL.
2. What are the things that are “TRUE, NOBLE, RIGHT , PURE, LOVELY, ADMIRABLE, EXCELLENT, and PRAISEWORTHY”?
a. Hope that is based on faith in Jesus Christ.
b. Promises that are based on God’s unchanging integrity and power.
c. Peace that is based on God’s presence and work in our lives.
d. Assurance that is based on God’s unfailing grace.
e. Things that last for eternity and are stored up in heaven for us based on God’s dependability.
COMMENT:
These are the things that get us through LIFE in spite of STRESSFUL SITUATIONS that we face.
CONCLUSION:
A. We live in a STRESSFUL TIME.
1. But we have POWER available to us that keeps us from CRUMBLING under the STRESS.
2. Paul- “I can do everything through Him (Christ) who STRENGTHENS me”- Philippians 4:13.
COMMENT:
Christ gives us the STRENGTH that we need to DEAL with and OVERCOME the FRUSTRATIONS, CONFLICTS, PRESSURES, and DIFFICULTIES in life. Because of this we are able to REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS!
