After Michelle and I were married, in one of our early Christmas gift exchanges, she gave me a Franklin Organizer - a day-timer type calendar. At the time, I felt like the wife who was just given a treadmill or vacuum for Valentines Day. My face and demeanor gave me away and she could tell I wasn’t thrilled with the gift. Though it is funny now, It is a horrible memory of ingratitude. Can you remember such a moment? Perhaps it is a story of your children or of you as a child or teen.
Have you ever witnessed an act of ingratitude that was so wrong, it just bugged you? Someone given a gift and their attitude screamed like a spoiled brat? Kind of like Veruca Salt of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fame.
Gratitude is the opposite of entitlement. Entitlement is the belief that you should be able to get whatever you want - that it is owed you. People who feel entitled, like Veruca, never have the opportunity to feel grateful. Gratitude is the right response when we are recipients of someone’s favor.
In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it’s the story of a very poor boy from a very poor family finding one of 5 Golden Tickets. His family reacts VERY differently. Grandpa Joe, who has been bedridden for 20+ years yells "yippee" and gets up and does a dance.
Gratitude is a universal virtue and ingratitude a universal vice. It is also of spiritual significance. Speaking of gratitude as a universal virtue, Matt Harding created a video for the web called "The Gratitude Dance" (perhaps inspired by Charlie’s Grandpa) where he travels to different countries/cities around the world and does a little dance, just showing gratitude for being alive.
My prayer is that this message will have some practical application so join me in standing and let’s do the Gratitude Dance!
Even the secular world is inspired by gratitude. To date, over 33,000,000 people have watched the two video’s combined.
On the opposite side, think of the company that ingratitude keeps?
Romans 1:20-22 - "For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or EVEN give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. 22 Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools."
This was like a baby step. They wouldn’t worship Him as God or EVEN give Him thanks!
2 Tim. 3:1-5 - "You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!"
It is one of the first steps down the slippery slope of sin in Romans 1. It’s a sign of the last days in 2 Timothy, that people will be noticeably ungrateful.
Think about a time when you felt grateful. I’ll wait for a little bit. Think of a grateful moment. What other feelings do you associate with this state? If you are like others, you probably are thinking of words such as ’peaceful’, ’content’, ’warm’, ’giving’, ’friendly’, and ’joyful’. You’d be unlikely to say that gratitude makes you feel ’burdened’, ’stressed’ or ’resentful’.
Gratitude has always been a virtue that THE Church has talked about. Why? Because it is a virtue that THE Bible talks a lot about. Check out a sampling of the Scriptures:
I Chron. 16:34 - "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.."
Psalm 92:1-5 - "It is good to give thanks to the LORD, to sing praises to the Most High. It is good to proclaim your unfailing love in the morning, your faithfulness in the evening, accompanied by the ten-stringed harp and the melody of the lyre. You thrill me, LORD, with all you have done for me! I sing for joy because of what you have done. O LORD, what great works you do! And how deep are your thoughts."
Psalm 95:2 - "Let us come to him with thanksgiving. Let us sing psalms of praise to him."
Psalm 100 - "Shout with joy to the LORD, all the earth! Worship the LORD with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the LORD is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation."
Psalm 105:1-2 - "Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds."
Psalm 106:1-2 - "Praise the LORD! Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Who can list the glorious miracles of the LORD? Who can ever praise him enough?"
Psalm 107:1-2 - "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Has the LORD redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies."
But more than a virtue, more than a command from Scripture, gratitude now has research to back up the fact that it makes for a better way of life in many different ways. For instance:
From the book "Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier" by Robert Emmons. "So gratitude is a key to happiness, as I will argue from a scientific angle. And happiness itself is a good thing. An implicit assumption that many of us hold is that happiness depends on happenings - by what happens in our lives. We believe that success in life - whether in the boardroom or the bedroom - makes people happier. Yet a recent review of the scientific literature on happiness revealed that happiness yields numerous rewards for the individual and precedes these outcomes. This means that happiness makes good things happen. It actually promotes positive outcomes.
"In several studies, depression has been shown to be strongly inversely related to gratitude. The more grateful a person is, the less depressed they are. The more depressed a person is, the less likely they are to go around feeling thankful for life."
From "Thank You Power" by Deborah Norville
"Here’s a laundry list of the study’s conclusions about test subjects who were consciously grateful:
They felt better about their lives as a whole.
They were more optimistic
They were more energetic.
They were more enthusiastic.
They were more determined.
They were more interested.
They were more joyful.
They felt stronger about handling challenges.
They exercised more (nearly an hour and a half more per week).
They had fewer illnesses.
They got more sleep.
They made progress toward important personal goals.
They were more likely to have helped someone else.
They were perceived by others as more generous and helpful.
They were less envious of those with more possessions.
They were less cluttered
Related studies have found additional benefits, all of which could arguably be linked to a grateful mind-set:
Clearer thinking - more creativity and openness to ideas.
Better resilience during tough times
Higher immune response
Less likelihood of being plagued by stress
Longer lives
Closer family ties
Greater religiousness
I like what some have said about gratitude:
There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude. ~Robert Brault
I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton
If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get. ~Frank A. Clark
The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! ~Henry Ward Beecher
He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ~Epictetus
Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all. ~William Faulkner
There is no greater difference between men than between grateful and ungrateful people. ~R.H. Blyth
Who does not thank for little will not thank for much. ~Estonian Proverb
The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. ~Eric Hoffer, Reflections On The Human Condition
Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. ~Aldous Huxley
Several housewives wrote what they were especially thankful for:
"For automatic dishwashers because they make it possible for us to get out of the kitchen before the family comes back in for their after dinner snacks.
"For husbands who attack small repair jobs around the house because they usually make them big enough to call in the professionals.
"For children who put away their things & clean up after themselves. They’re such a joy you hate to see them go home to their own parents
"For teenagers because they give parents an opportunity to learn a second language.
"For Smoke alarms because they let you know when the turkey’s done.
Now our list might not be the same as theirs, but I’m convinced that if we began to make a list, we would find that we have much more for which to be thankful than just our material possessions.
Like you, I’m sure, my list would include the major things: life, health, family, friends, & the nation we live in, despite all its flaws. However, we need to get better at spotting the little things, the everyday things to be grateful for. The smell of a baby after a bath, the beauty of a sunrise/sunset, the forgiveness of a spouse when we have erred, a phone call, card or personal FB message from a friend, the sound of a footstep in the snow (though I am not ready for that sound yet), the ability to see, smell, hear, touch, taste. Grateful for life. The Bible even makes it clear that we have reason to be grateful for the less than enjoyable parts of life.
Recently, in my LIFE group I asked the question, "What is something that you would say gives you "pure joy"? Some of the responses included: being in the woods and getting the trophy buck, getting a hole-in-one with witnesses, being on the top of a mountain and other things. Amazingly, no one mentioned "going through lots of different trials".
James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
The Voice translation puts it this way - "Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line - mature, complete, and wanting nothing."
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
Both of these passages hint that we can be grateful even for the valleys in our lives because WE KNOW HE WILL NOT WASTE A PAIN, He will bring us through it if we endure, if we are patient.
Job gives us a good example through his life.
Job 1:13 - 22
Job 2:7-10 - "So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. 8 Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
When we are going through difficult times, it may be more challenging to remember that we have MUCH to be grateful for even then, but we do.
Your story is not likely to be as hard as Jobs, but will you choose a grating attitude, the world is to blame, my spouse or ex-spouse is to blame, God is to blame, my 1st Grade teacher is to blame, Pastor is to blame. I am reminded of what John Maxwell calls the “Bob Principle” – “When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem.” Will you be grating? Or will you choose to be grateful. To list, to name things in your life that you are grateful for. If you choose Gr8fulness, it will change your life.
Psalm 106:1-2 - "Praise the LORD! Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Who can list the glorious miracles of the LORD? Who can ever praise him enough?"
r u GR8ing or GR8ful?
