Summary: coping with a busy and stress filled life. (PowerPoint slides to accompany this talk are available on request - email: gcurley@gcurley.info)

Reading: Luke chapter 10 verses 38-42.

Ill:

• Outside the Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen,

• Which is Denmark’s Parliament building.

• There are three stone figures guarding the entrance.

• They represent the earache, the headache, and the stomach ache.

• They were placed there to suggest that if you enter politics,

• You will have all three!

• We live in a very stress-filled society:

• And it effects all of us, not just politicians.

Stress can result from anything that:

• Annoys you

• Threatens you

• Prods you

• Excites you

• Scares you

• Worries you

• Hurries you

• Angers you

• Frustrates you

• Challenges you

• Criticizes you

• Or by anything that reduces your self-esteem

Ill:

• Think about an elastic band.

• If stretched, it will return to its normal, relaxed position when the external force is removed.

• Stress occurs when the body’s stress response is also stretched;

• Whenever it is subjected to any emergency or demand.

• But it ought to return to a normal, relaxed state when the demand is removed.

• If stretched for a long time and held, it loses its elastic properties and will eventually snap.

We too can snap when affected by too much stress:

• Our bodies let us know that something is wrong;

• By creating within us various symptoms:

Ill:

• Frequent headaches

• Irregular heartbeats

• Stiffness in the neck, shoulders, jaw, arms, legs, hands or stomach.

• Getting dizzy or light-headed.

• Suffering from colds, flu or hoarseness

• Indigestion, nausea or discomfort in the stomach.

• Difficulty falling or staying asleep.

• Waking up feeling tired

• Cold hands or cold feet

• Excess perspiration

• Anger or irritability

Now all of us will experience some form of stress, experts have come up with a number of suggestions for dealing with stress:

Ill:

(1) Identify your triggers,

(2) Take up a hobby,

(3) Practice breathing exercises,

(4) Do some exercising,

(5) Develop a support network through friends, family, and co-workers.

While all of those may be good, practical, useful suggestions:

• As Christians, we have a much better method of coping with stress.

• We have the Lord to draw support and help from.

• i.e. Last week in psalm 46 we noted that;

• “God is a refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble”.

Reading: Luke chapter 10 verses 38-42.

ILL:

Photographs can be very deceptive,

• Whoever said; "The camera never lies ",

• Never had a studio portrait done of themselves or their family.

• Studio portrait are perfect prints:

• Every hair is in place, people are wearing their best clothes,

• Everybody is told to stand or sit in a certain way.

• Even the background is designed to create the perfect picture.

Yet in reality that family, that home may be the complete opposite of what's portrait:

• For the camera and for the public we show one side of ourselves,

• But in our homes we can often reveal another totally different side.

Ill:

• Adrian Plass Poem: The Real Problem.

• Written from a small child’s point of view.

“Sunday is a funny day,

It starts with lots of noise.

Mummy rushes round with socks,

And Daddy shouts, 'You boys!'

Then Mummy says, 'Now don't blame them,

You know you're just as bad,

You've only just got out of bed,

It really makes me mad!'

My mummy is a Christian,

My daddy is as well, .

My mummy says 'Oh, heavens!'

My daddy says 'Oh, hell!'

And when we get to church at last,

It's really very strange,

Cos Mum and Dad stop arguing,

And suddenly they change.

At church my mum and dad are friends,

They get on very well,

But no one knows they've had a row,

And I'm not gonna tell.

People often come to them,

Because they seem so nice,

And Mum and Dad are very pleased

To give them some advice.

They tell them Christian freedom

Is worth an awful lot,

But I don't know what freedom means,

If freedom's what they've got.

Daddy loves the meetings,

He's always at them all,

He's learning how to understand

The letters of St Paul.

But Mummy says, 'I'm stuck at home

To lead my Christian life,

It's just as well for blinkin' Paul

He didn't have a wife.'

I once heard my mummy say

She'd walk out of his life,

I once heard Daddy say to her

He'd picked a rotten wife.

They really love each other,

I really think they do.

I think the people in the church

Would help them-if they knew”.

In Luke chapter 10:

• We get a behind the scenes look into a real home;

• And the opportunity to glean some information on coping with a busy & stress filled life.

NOTE the context of these verses is all about action!

• Verses 1-24: Jesus sends out the seventy-two as his ambassadors.

• They were very busy going from place to place, they were busy in serving Christ.

• Verses 25-37: The story of the Good Samaritan.

• Once again there is an emphasis on doing, lending a helping hand,

• Now in our passage we have the story of somebody busy serving.

• I believe Luke places this story here to teach us something- be balanced!

• Christianity is not all about doing things, being busy serving Christ.

• We all need to learn to enjoy Christ, to take time out and sit at his feet!

• This will help to prevent us becoming stressed out!

• And help us to experience positive stress rather than negative stress.

ILL;

The difference between positive and negative stress are like:

• RUBBER BAND – Stretches when it needs to then returns to its original condition.

• This is normal stress. This is good useful, productive, helpful stress.

• THE BUNGEE CORD - This is bad stress. For most of us it is major DISTRESS!

• This is what we need to avoid!

(A). THE PLACE (verse 38):

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way,

he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.”

(1). Bethany.

Jesus and the twelve disciples were on a journey through Judea:

• Luke doesn't tell us the name of the village,

• But he does tell us the names of the people who lived there.

• If we link it up to John chapter 11 verse 1 (same people are mentioned)

• We can figure out the village is Bethany.

(2). Family home.

• Two sisters and a brother lived here.

• We will look at them in more detail in a moment.

(3) Place of rest.

• For about two and a half years, Jesus has been on the road,

• Travelling around as an itinerant preacher teaching and healing in village after village.

• He is a well-known public and popular figure.

• Wherever Jesus goes the crowds are sure to follow.

• Not only do they follow, but they are constantly making demands on him,

• They are bringing their relatives and friends to him to be healed,

For Jesus this was not just a house but a home:

• It was an oasis, a hideaway, somewhere to go and relax!

• Here he can switch off and 'recharge his batteries'.

• He is able to enjoy the company of his three special friends:

• Friends who won't demand miracles or ask leading questions.

• Friends who just want to enjoy him his company.

• Who value him for who he is!

Question: How is your social life?

Ill:

• My wife has contact with a number of new mums;

• Who are tired, stressed out and trapped at home.

• Their former workmates no-longer have time for them;

• And they are lonely or feel prisoners of their homes!

Ill:

Jonathan ?????????

• All work and no play.

• Company director - First to arrive in the morning, last to leave at night!

• Work so dominates his life that his social life was dwindling away.

• I’m glad to say that he has taken steps to re-address that over last 6 months.

All of us (no exceptions):

• Need friends to relax with,

• And a house that is more than a hotel - it’s a home!

(B). The People:

(a).

• The people who make this place special are Mary, Martha and Lazarus.

• Although Lazarus will not appear in this particular story.

• Martha was thought to have been a widow:

• Notice: she is named as the house owner and not Lazarus the male.

(b).

• Mary was her unmarried sister.

• Quote: Ivor Powel (spinster/unclaimed treasure).

(c).

• Lazarus was the bachelor brother and a very good friend to Jesus.

• e.g. Three times in John chapter 11 we are told that Jesus loved Lazarus.

The two sisters:

• Martha and Mary are always closely linked in the gospels:

• So much so that it is difficult to think of one apart from the other.

They appear together in three graphic and moving situations:

• Ill: Luke chapter 10:

• Martha dominates this first account, she is the hostess in her own home.

• Ill: John chapter 11:

• They are fused together in their grief over the death of their brother

• Ill: John chapter 12:

• Mary dominates the narrative by performing a costly act of devotion.

Notice:

• They are together but they are very different;

• True in most families; children & family members are similar yet very different.

Ill:

The M????????n family.

• Trevor: Travels the world in a high pressured Job.

• Alistair: changed from a computer job to become a postman (pressure is off).

• Some people can thrive on pressure and overcoming obstacles & difficulties;

• Others get squashed by it!

• Discovering what our temperament is like, will be a key factor;

• When it comes to dealing with the stresses and difficulties of life.

Notice: Mary & Martha’s very different temperaments:

(A). MARTHA:

• We would probably describe Martha as energetic, she is so eager to serve.

• She is always the first to roll up her sleeves and pitch in to help.

• She is probably the first one up in the morning,

• Making preparations for the day.

• And probably the last one to bed at night.

• Making sure every dish is cleaned and put away and everything is in its right place.

• You get the impression with Martha;

• That the dinner is never overcooked. She is the perfect hostess.

(B). MARY:

• Mary seems to be a more a reflective person,

• We get three glimpses of her in the Gospels,

• And on each occasion, she is in the same place;

• At the feet of Jesus.

ILL:

• Luke chapter 10 verse 39:

• She sat at His feet and listened to His Word.

• John chapter 11 verse 32:

• At the death of her brother Lazarus, she fell at His feet and shared her sorrows.

• John chapter 12 verse 32:

• She knelt at His feet and poured perfume or poured out her worship.

We would probably describe Mary as:

• Perceptive. A woman who asks few but very thoughtful questions.

• She is a good listener. Sensitive and calm.

(c). The Disagreement.

• When Jesus arrives at the sisters home they are delighted to see him.

• But notice how they express that delight in different ways.

Luke tells us first of all about:

(a). Mary (verse 39):

"She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said”.

• Mary is focused; she clears her mind of all the incidentals,

• And makes room for the essential, spending time with Jesus.

• She is content to listen to and be in the presence of Jesus.

• She is happy "not to be doing anything".

(b). MARTHA (VERSE 40):

“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made”.

• 'Distracted' here means literally, 'not knowing which way to turn',

• We would say; ‘She was rushed off her feet’.

What we see in these two verses are two very different temperaments:

• Mary sees Jesus and thinks, "The Lord, I must go and chat!"

• Martha sees Jesus and thinks, "The Lord, I must look after him, i.e. prepare a meal”.

• Ill: Visit the Curley’s both Penny and myself receive guests differently.

• Penny sits and talks and then asks that question. Me : ‘What do you want to drink’

• Mary and Martha are reflecting different temperaments;

• Different personalities.

At this point in the narrative, preachers often give Martha a bashing for her response:

• But be honest; would we have reacted much differently?

• We all know what unplanned visitors are like.

• And if the disciples are with Jesus too,

• She has at least 16 people to cook for, no wonder Martha is flustered.

ILL:

Martha's room:

• Story told of a visiting preacher who spoke on this passage.

• He really hammered Martha and tore her off a strip.

• Being a visiting preacher.

• When they arrived at his hosts house he was shown into the living room and left,

• No-one came in and offered him a cup of tea,

• It was a gloomy, cold winters day,

• No-one put the fire on, not even the light to brighten up the room.

• The preacher sat and waited patiently, he waited and waited and waited,

• No-one came into the room.

• So he decided he would go and find his hosts and hint at a possible cup of tea:

• As he went into the room next door,

• He noticed the fire on, the light was on.

• People had a hot drinks and were passing round cake and biscuits,

• And the whole atmosphere of the room was warm and welcoming.

• Seeing the preacher the host said; "Come on in, this is Martha's room!"

• I think the preacher got the point:

• We owe a lot to the Martha's of the world. Without them, nothing would ever get done.

The danger in this passage:

• Is to contrasted Mary and Martha as though we must make a choice:

• Be a worker like Martha, or a worshiper like Mary.

• The Christian life is an either/or situation.

• Often in life the circles overlap! ill: Graphs you drew at school.

QUOTE: Charles Wesley said it perfectly in one of his hymns:

"Faithful to my Lord's commands,

I still would choose the better part;

Serve with careful Martha's hands,

And loving Mary's heart".

The key thing for each of us is:

• To imitate Mary in our worship and Martha in our work.

• As someone has said; "Blessed are the balanced!"

• Interesting to note that Jesus did not chide Martha,

• For being of a practical rather than a devotional turn of mind.

• The correction comes because Martha makes,

• Three foolish mistakes.

BUT Martha MAKES 3 Important MI5TAKEs:

(A). SHE REBUKED THE LORD (VERSE 40):

• There is more than just the oven heating up in Martha's kitchen,

• Martha has been slowly coming to the boil, and in verse 40 she explodes!

"Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?

Tell her to help me!”

ILL:

• Now use your imagination:

• As she is cooking, imagine the thoughts running through Martha's head:

• She is thinking to her self: “I can't believe Mary isn't in here helping”,

• Martha pushes a fist into the dough.

• "She should be in here with me”. Another fist into the dough.

• “We could get this done in half the time”. Another fist into the dough.

• “I too, would like to hear what Jesus has to say, but somebody's got to fix dinner!”

• "They could at least come in here while they talk" Another fist into the dough.

• “I can't believe she has the nerve to just sit there. And why is Jesus letting her”

• Another fist into the dough.

• "Here I am in the kitchen, sweating, working my fingers to the bone, doesn't Jesus care”. Another fist into the dough (best needed dough in Palestine!)

Martha has allowed her emotions to simmer, she is hot and getting hotter:

• Until her anger explodes and she comes boiling out of the kitchen,

• Red-faced and furious she says in verse 40:

"Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

NOTICE: She doesn't even call Mary by name.

• Through clenched teeth, she says, "my sister, " and accuses her of skiving.

• Unthinkingly, she also takes a stab at Jesus, accusing of lacking concern.

• Martha's rash response illustrates what happens;

• When the peculiarities of our temperament get the best of us.

• Martha's strengths had become her liabilities.

• And she is completely wrong in focus, attitude and language.

In the next few hours, days, weeks and months:

• How Martha must have regretted those words, "Don't you care? "

• But she let her undisciplined temperament express itself in unrestrained temper.

• Because of her uncontrolled angry, caused by her sisters actions,

• She took it out, she expresses that anger on the Lord.

ILL:

• Too many of us do that when somebody annoys or upsets us.

• We let that anger burn within us that eventually we take it out on someone else.

• Often it is someone we love who then gets the short end of the stick.

• (Aren't you glad the Bible shows us real people, people just like us"

(2). SHE MISJUDGED HER SISTER.

• She interpreted Mary's devotion to Christ as selfishness, as laziness,

• And she despised her for her impractical dreaminess.

• I am glad that unlike human beings, God looks at the heart.

• He sees our motives where as humans often misread us and our situation.

Martha's harsh words:

• Accusing Jesus of not caring.

• And accusing her sister of being lazy and selfish.

• Is because she is stressed out, she is over anxious, overworked, overtired & over-worried.

• Under normal circumstances she would never have reacted like that.

• But she is worried on the inside and busy on the outside.

• And her personality strengths turn into personality weaknesses!

One time when we are bound, almost guaranteed to get it wrong:

• Is when we are overworked or over tired.

• We need to rest, to be able to handle certain situations.

ILL:

• Camp Many problems are resolved by sending someone to bed.

• After a good nights sleep, the mountain is back to a molehill.

• Camp Many problems are resolved by sending someone to bed.

• After a good nights sleep, the mountain is back to a molehill.

Ill:

• If you are unable to switch off at night;

• Due to work, family, Church related issues that stress you out.

• I would suggest two things.

• Exercise & diet.

• Exercise (30 minute walk each day – separate to walking home – relax!)

• Diet: Quote: “junk in & junk out!” Examine: what you are eating & drinking!

(3). SHE HAD WRONG PRIORITIES.

• She placed her own agenda over Christ's:

• She became so obsessed with preparing a special meal for her guests,

• That she was determined to please Jesus her way rather than his!

At this moment in time:

• The priority for Jesus is rest, encouragement and fellowship.

• An elaborate meal with all the trimmings is Martha's idea, not his.

• Certainly a meal was in order, but not a feast!

• But what we do WITH Christ, is far more important than what we do FOR Christ.

• Martha pays too much attention to the things that don't matter

• And not enough to the things that do.

• From the moment Christ came in the door,

• She has been distracted with secondary things, and she has missed the primary things!

Application:

• Experts tells us that another symptom with stressed out people;

• Is the inability to prioritise!

Quote Peter Drucker in The Effective Executive says:

“For most of us the problem is not “priorities” as much as it is “posteriorities.”

(post-er-i-orit-ies). By this he means what we choose to “leave out.”

In other words:

• Some of the things that we make priorities aren’t really the priorities.

• By focusing on these things of lesser importance we miss what’s most important.

Quote Henry Ford said:

“A weakness of all human beings is trying to do too many things at once.

That scatters effort and destroys direction. It makes for haste, and haste makes waste.

So we do things all the wrong ways possible before we come to the right one.

Then we think it is the best way because it works,

and it was the only way left that we could see.

Every now and then I wake up in the morning headed toward that finality,

with a dozen things I want to do. I know I can’t do them all at once.”

When asked what he did about that, Ford replied,

“I go out and trot around the house.

While I’m running off the excess energy that wants to do too much,

my mind clears and I see what can be done and should be done first.”

Not everything we do has the same importance - Prioritise!

Ill:

(a).

• Prioritise in my personal life

• Number 1 priority is to the Lord.

• Number 2 priority is to my wife & children.

• Number 3 priority is to my ministry!

(b).

• Prioritise regarding finances.

• A major factor that causes stress in the home is money or lack of it.

• Prioritise: what’s important and what is not!

(c).

• Prioritise at work.

• By asking some important questions:

• Am I being ask to achieve unreal targets?

• Am I being given enough resources and time to achieve those targets?

• If the answer is no!

• You need to think through & talk about how you can change the situation?

(d).

• Church.

• Can often add more pressure to our lives (Sunday: Day of rest! Forget it!)

• We need real wisdom & guidance from the Lord himself!

• To know the why and what of our place in the local Church.

(D). The Response (verse 41):

"Martha, Martha, " the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things”.

• Jesus tames Martha's aggressive attitude,

• By lovingly reassuring her, twice he uses her name, "Martha, Martha"

• Of course he cares about her, more than she realizes:

• He also understands her temperament and wants to help her;

• And so gently and caringly he helps her to see the real issue.

• Jesus would much rather have a simple meal with her company,

• Than have a lavish feast and see very little of her.

Verse 42: "Only one thing is needed"

There are two thoughts on what that phrase means.

(1st). Jesus was referring to the single dish:

• That would have provided an adequate meal,

• And yet left Martha with enough time to join Mary at His feet.

• A little economy in food and labour,

• Would have paid handsome spiritual dividends.

(2nd). Jesus is referring to Mary’s behaviour:

• Is not referring to food or drink, but to Mary's example.

• One thing I want from you is to come and sit down!

"... ... .Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her”.

• Either interpretation is valid:

• The important thing is spending time in the presence of Jesus.

• Jesus knows moments of quiet like these are few and far between.

• And Jesus wants Martha to realize that this moment may never come again:

Quote: Psalm 23 Antithesis (direct opposite):

The clock is my dictator, I shall not rest.

It makes me lie down only when exhausted.

It leads me into deep depression.

It hounds my soul.

It leads me in circles of frenzy, for activities sake.

Even though I run frantically from task to task, I will never get it all done,

For my ideal is with me.

Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.

They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule.

They anoint my head with migraines,

My in-basket overflows.

Surely fatigue and time pressures shall follow me

All the days of my life.

And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration

Forever

Punch line: I know which version of the Psalm I prefer!