Summary: We are more than willing to receive the forgiveness of others. It is a little harder to be the one who forgives, especially when we have been hurt. Philemon and focus on the question, "Why should we forgive?"

You Can Listen To The Full Message Here:-

http://www.nec.org.au/index.php/listen-to-a-sermon-series/a-call-to-forgiveness/

Message

“Why Forgive?”

If you were asked, “What does forgiveness look like?” how would you answer? Let me show you my answer.

Read Luke 15:11-24

This parable talks about the forgiveness of God in all its intensity.

On the one hand we have a greedy son anxious to get his hands on wealth he had not earned. Once he has the cash it is like trying to hold water – soon he has none. While handing food to the pigs he realises the pig sty is just a mirror of his own life … and then he comes to his senses, “My father’s servants live far better than I – I will become one of them.

He did not expect forgiveness; just to be tolerated.

All he wanted was the chance to say to his father, “I’ve been a bum ... but could I just be a slave?”

All he wanted was a roof over his head.

But the father gave so much more.

On seeing his son the father runs to him – and offers forgiveness.

The forgiveness is eager ... it didn’t even wait for the sinner to arrive.

The forgiveness doesn’t draw out the shame of excuses and apologies … instead it embraces and loves.

The forgiveness isn’t reluctant ... the air is heavy with the smell of the best meat cooking in preparation for a celebration.

That’s how God forgives. Eagerly. Totally. Lavishly.

That’s how His forgiveness feels. Its eagerness. Its totality. Its lavishness.

And that’s how we always show forgiveness to each other. With eagerness. With totality. With lavishness.

... ...

Well two out of three isn’t bad.

We readily acknowledge that God forgives. Eagerly. Totally. Lavishly

We know what it feels like to be forgiven. Its eagerness. Its totality. Its lavishness.

But it is not so easy to pass it on.

The reason it is not so easy to pass on is because, when we need to forgive, it is usually in circumstances where the hurt has been very personal.

How do you forgive abuse and neglect?

How do you forgive abandonment and desertion?

How do you forgive putdowns and unfair criticism?

It’s all so personal isn’t it. Are we expected just to forgive when it happens to us?

Yes we are. Let’s turn to a small book in the Bible which shows us just how personal forgiveness needs to be.

Read Philemon

This book doesn’t talk about forgiveness as a parable, or a principle. The forgiveness here is very personal and very practical. That is why we are going to focus on this little book in the next four weeks. To better understand what forgiveness is.

The main focus of the letter is on a man named Philemon. Philemon became a Christian through the ministry of Paul the Apostle – Paul calls him a dear friend and fellow worker. Paul has great admiration for Philemon and is really thankful for the Christian example Philemon gives.

Now put yourself in Philemon’s shoes. At some stage in the past one of your slaves has run away. Even though you treated him well. Then one day you get a letter ... from your spiritual mentor Paul. The opening lines read as follows.

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother. To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker, to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your home: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Philemon 1-3

Paul the great Apostle. Paul who started many churches in the area. Paul who was instrumental in your conversion. Paul has written a personal letter to you! Then, when you open the letter, you discover a number of facts.

You now know where Onesimus the runaway slave.

Paul spoke the Gospel to Onesimus and now Onesimus is a Christian.

Paul would like you to forgive Onesimus.

If possible Paul would like to keep Onesimus.

Paul also wants to come and visit.

That’s a lot to take in isn’t it. And it is a request which opens a whole range of emotions.

In the early years of our marriage Corianna would use the – ask by suggestion technique. So, if she wanted me to get the blanket which had fallen on the floor, she would say something like, “Are you cold?” Or if she wanted some furniture moved she would say, “Do you think this room looks crowded?” Sometimes it would take me quite a while to guess what she really wanted.

It kind of feels like that is what Paul is doing here.

I would like to keep him with me (vs.13)

He is very dear to me (vs.16)

I do wish that I may have some benefit from you (vs.20)

Do you hear the hints … or not so subtle hints? Paul obviously sees great potential in Onesimus and no longer wants him to be a slave. But that isn’t the only hint.

Perhaps he was separated so that you could have him back as a dear brother (vs.15-16)

Welcome him as you would welcome me (vs.17)

Prepare a guest room for me (vs.22)

This looks like a hint on the action Paul is expecting Philemon to take, and just to be sure Paul is coming to visit.

That’s what it feels like anyway. It feels like Paul is putting a whole heap of pressure onto Philemon to make him forgive. That’s how it feels, but that is not what is happening. We know this is the case because of the way that Paul opens this letter.

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus (Phi.1)

This is how he opens other letters:-

• Paul a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle (Romans 1:1).

• Paul called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God (1 Corinthians 1:1)

• Paul an apostle—sent not from men nor by men but by Jesus Christ (Galatians 1:1)

Do you see the trend? Again and again Paul mentions that he is an apostle, but not here. Also this is the only time in the opening of a letter that Paul calls himself a prisoner.

Someone who has been bound by Jesus.

Someone who is under the authority of Jesus.

Someone who is equal.

In one of my first jobs I worked at K-mart. In my first week I was having trouble setting up a display and another employee helped me; patiently showing me what to do a generally chatting about how I was going. It wasn’t until the next staff meeting that I realised he was the area manager. He was a man in authority who walked beside his staff for the common cause.

That is what Paul is doing. He could use his authority as an apostle to command. But he isn’t. Instead Paul uses a very different and very effective tactic. He reminds Philemon of the bigger picture. Our actions and attitudes towards fellow believers is motivated by fellowship.

Again, look at the way Paul opens this letter.

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother

Timothy is in this with me. He helped establish new congregations. He is leading a church in Ephesus. He worked for the Gospel alongside Paul. He is a kingdom man.

To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker

You are with us in the same cause. You haven’t just received the grace of Jesus you have been passing it on to others. You are a kingdom man.

To Apphia our sister

Mot scholars agree that this is Philemon’s wife. She part of the team. She is the one with you as you pass on the Gospel. She is a kingdom woman.

To Archippus our fellow soldier

Only one other person is called a fellow soldier – Epaphroditus who was a leader in the Philippian church. Archippus is the local leader at the Philemon’s church which meets at Colossae. He is a kingdom man.

To the church that meets at your home

Philemon is a man of significant means who uses his home as a gathering point for the Christians in Colossae. They are together in unity in a culture that really wants little to do with Jesus. They are kingdom people.

This is a description of the fellowship which they all have. Brothers. Fellow Workers. Fellow Soldier. The church. And now Onesimus is one of them. Sure he was a runaway slave. But that was before Jesus came into his life and changed the pattern.

By law Onesimus is a fugitive.

Through grace Onesimus is a family member. He is a kingdom man.

Which now places Philemon into the position of having to forgive for the sake of fellowship.

In the next few weeks we will talk about this forgiveness.

How it shapes our character.

How it directs our actions.

How it alters our motives.

For now I want to ask a simple question. Why does the Bible contain such a personal letter about a slave-owner who needs to forgive?

It comes back to the personal hurt doesn’t it? Despite the fact that we have been personally hurt we need to forgive or else we will become hurt even more.

It is really important to forgive, for at least four reasons.

Firstly, if you don’t forgive you will become imprisoned by the past. If we keep on holding onto the hurt you, or the distress, or pain, or the grief, or the betrayal, or the confusion, or the denial … if we keep doing that we just chain ourselves to the past.

It’s like picking at a sore. It might feel good for a moment. But the more you pick the worse it gets. Eventually you have a wound that is much worse than the original sore.

Lack of forgiveness never lets a wound heal. And when that happens in a context where kingdom people are working together … it becomes a wound that impacts our ability to spread the Gospel.

A second reason why it is important to be forgiving people is because, when we don’t forgive, we become bitter people. It could be that you have only been hurt in a small way – but lack of forgiveness has an accumulative effect.

The longer you remember the offence the more data you accumulate on it.

The more data you have the more the problem occupies your thinking.

And the more it occupies your thinking the more it basically shapes your person

And that shape is one of bitterness. Harassed by the memories of what you can’t forgive you will get a distorted view of life which will literally be like a disease your whole existence. The wound becomes an infection.

A third reason why it is important to be forgiving people is because, when we don’t forgive, we open the door of our heart to Satan. Lack of forgiveness throws the welcome mat out and invites the demons in. The Scripture is clear on this point.

In your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you’re still angry and do not give the devil a foothold. (Eph.4:26-27)

Where you have unresolved anger, where you have unresolved bitterness, where you have an unforgiving spirit, you have given place to the devil. And once he has a foothold the climb into the rest of our lives becomes so much easier.

A fourth, and perhaps most important, reason why it is important to be forgiving people is because, when we don’t forgive, we hinder our relationship with God. After giving us the Lord’s Prayer Jesus said,

If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matt 6:14-15).

If I am not right with you, then I am not right with God – and why would I sentence myself to being anything less than in the place of maximum blessing from God? Lack of forgiveness effectively cuts off the purity and the joy of my fellowship with God.

So this personal letter to Philemon is forcing us to ask a very personal question.

What sort of people do we want to be?

Chained to our past?

Controlled by bitterness?

Opening our hearts to Satan?

Hindering our fellowship with God?

Is that the sort of people we want to be?

Or do we want to be people who forgive as God forgives.

Eagerly. Totally. Lavishly.

Prayer

Father, we thank You this morning that we’ve just been able to introduce this wonderful little book and we do believe that in the next few weeks as we go through its truths You’re going to transform us so that we become more like Jesus Christ who forgave us all our sins and who set the pattern for us to forgive each other.

Lord as we look into our own hearts we can identify someone that we need to forgive, someone who has wronged us, someone who has been unkind, unfair, someone who has made life difficult, painful, someone who has cheated us, stolen from us something precious, someone who has misrepresented us, but Lord we need to forgive.

Help us to be like You …

to forgive eagerly … totally … lavishly.

As we explore the teaching of the book of Philemon may we develop the character, the action and the motivation of those who forgive.

Amen