And now an inspirational reading from Shakespeare’s play Othello:
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on;
That cuckold lives in bliss who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger;
But, O, what minutes tells he o'er; who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!
Now does anyone understand just what in the world that means? I don’t! Except the first few words – [2] “O beware my lord of jealousy - it is the green-eyed monster.”
Jealousy is a monster within us all that when released can do some major damage in our own lives and in the lives of others. And probably all of us at one time or another have battled with jealousy.
Now let’s make sure we understand what real jealousy is, because sometimes we confuse jealousy with envy. Envy is when you want what someone else has. You want something. You want more. That’s envy.
Jealousy is when you fear loosing something. Your insecurities cause you to fear loosing something that’s important to you. You fear loosing your job to a coworker who sucks up to the boss all the time. You fear loosing your friend at school because a new, cool kid just enrolled in your class. You fear loosing your spouse to someone who’s more attractive than you. So you become jealous because of your fear of loss. And that jealousy is the green-eyed monster who will damage people’s lives if it isn’t stopped.
[John Wesley’s marriage to Mary Vazeille illustration.]
None of us need have the green-eyed monster destroy our lives.
In the passage that we’ll be going through today we’ll see how the green-eyed monster of jealousy was alive and well and was trying to kill the early church. [3] Turn with me to Acts chapter thirteen where we’ll see just how damaging jealousy can be. In doing so it’ll help us better understand jealousy and how we can actually overcome it.
[Read Acts 13:44-52.]
Paul and Barnabas show up in this city and have almost immediate success. Wherever they show up to preach the people come. So much so that it nearly the whole city showed up to hear them preach. This infuriated the Jews who allowed their jealousy to take over as the green-eyed monster moved them to do terrible things.
And at the root of their jealousy was nothing more than fear. [4] Fear that they were loosing their influence, their power and their prestige to these heretic Christians. You see, the root of jealousy is always fear.
[Read Acts 13:44-45.]
“When they saw the crowds”! These Jews could never have gotten the whole city out to listen to one of their lectures on the Torah! They probably couldn’t even keep the people they had awake when they attended the synagogues. But these guys whiz into town and that’s all the people can talk about. Paul and Barnabas this, and Paul and Barnabas that. The Jewish leaders could feel their influence slipping away and they feared obscurity. They feared irrelevance. They feared becoming yesterday’s news. They feared becoming common.
So instead of listening to what the disciples were saying to find out for themselves what all the fuss was about, they became jealous and allowed the green-eyed monster to come out and play. The root of jealousy is fear.
Sometimes our jealousy is because of the bad actions of others. Ladies, if you notice your husband spending more time with women other than you, then you aught to be jealous. Kids, if your parents keep saying, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” You should be jealous too. And if the new guy in your office was promoted ahead of you, even though you’ve been with the company for years, there’s good reason to be jealous. You fear loosing what’s important to you. Your husband’s love, your parent’s acceptance, your job, whatever.
In situations when someone is doing something to cause you to feel jealous, you should openly talk with them and let them know how you feel. Maybe you can kill the green-eyed monster with some communication and their cooperation.
But sometimes our jealousy is because of our own insecurities. Our self-esteem isn’t what it should be. Or our faith isn’t very strong. Or we’re allowing our past to rule our present. Our personal insecurities can cause us to become jealous. (We’ll talk about how to deal with those in a few minutes.)
But no matter what the reason is for the jealousy, if we don’t get it under control, [5] the actions of jealousy are hateful. Let’s go back to the passage.
[Read Acts 13:45, 50.]
Instead of communicating their fears with Paul and Barnabas, instead of trying to work things out, instead of just allowing them to do their own thing, their jealousy moved them to try and ruin the ministry of the disciples.
In verse forty five we see how they tried to shout down Paul in an antagonistic fashion as he preached. When it says they “blasphemed” it means they were discrediting the validity of Jesus Christ, which is all Paul preached about. And when that didn’t work they stirred up an angry mob and had Paul and Barnabas forcibly kicked out of the city. All because they were more popular and influential than them. Jealousy will cause you to do some hateful things!
[BFF in grade schools stories.]
But that doesn’t just happen amongst kids. Adults will try and tear down someone’s reputation that they’re jealous of. Adults will try and manipulate someone with guilt. When the green-eyed monster gets turned loose there’s no telling what’ll happen.
[Man shoots guy who was talking with his wife.]
James 3:16 says, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.”
Jealousy will cause us to do some really hateful things. And those terrible things can have lasting consequences. You see [6] The results of jealousy are painful losses. Remember, the root of jealousy is the fear of loosing something important to you. But if we let jealousy run amuck, we often end up loosing because of our jealous actions!
[Read Acts 13:46-51.]
These Jewish scoffers missed out on eternal life because they let their jealousy rule their hearts and minds. Paul wasn’t going to waste his time trying to convince them of the Truth. He gave them their shot. But they refused to listen so he then focused on people that wanted to hear the Truth.
Now this didn’t mean that Paul never again reached out to the Jews. On the contrary, wherever he went he started with the Jewish community first and then moved on the gentiles to do ministry.
But in this region, these Jews were so filled with jealousy and hate that they missed out on the gospel and remained spiritually lost. They lost their souls because of jealousy.
You see, the green-eyed monster will hurt you. You and the people around you. The actions of a jealous person are hurtful and they will cause loss in your life.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a jealous person? The constant nagging and suspicions and accusations and guilt trips can wear on a person. Many times the jealous person angrily pushes away the person they feared loosing because they let the green-eyed monster take over.
Winston Churchill, one of the greatest leaders we’ve ever seen, had a father who was incredible jealous of his own son’s success. In Churchill’s book "The Last Lion" he says, "I would rather had been an apprentice for a brick layer, or run errands as a messenger boy, or dressed the windows in the local shops, if I could have had the support of my father." Their relationship wasn’t what it should have been all because of his father’s jealousy.
Fear of loss can causes us to become jealous. But that very jealousy can cause us to eventually loose what we feared loosing in the first place. We push away what we fear loosing when jealousy takes over.
Jealousy can kill the relationships you have with the people you care about the most.
Jealousy will steal your joy and your peace of mind.
Jealousy will continue to gnaw away at your self-esteem.
Jealousy and the hateful actions that go with it can ruin your reputation forever.
Jealous actions can cause your boss to have less respect for you.
And jealousy will get in the way of your relationship with the Lord.
But we don’t have to let this happen. We can overcome the jealousy that plagues us. Now again, if someone is causing us to become jealous because of the careless things they do, we need to talk with them and pray they’re more sensitive to our feelings.
But if our jealousy is more because of our own insecurities, [7] then the remedy for jealousy is trust. We need to learn how to trust the people around us. We need to learn to trust the Lord. And we even need to learn to trust ourselves. The remedy for jealousy is trust. Look back at the passage.
[Read Acts 13:51-52.]
Now remember, the Jews felt their influence slipping away so they became jealous of Paul and Barnabas. But now Paul and Barnabas had the opportunity to return the favor since their influence was taken away from them when they were kicked out of the city! But instead of getting jealous and doing something stupid, they trusted that the Lord had a plan for them and they went their way to another city. And they went with their joy in tact! They didn’t allow jealousy to settle in. They simply trusted the Lord.
When we feel that old, sinful jealousy creeping back up in our lives, we need to trust the Lord and defeat that green-eyed monster.
The journey to trust starts with admitting and confessing the sin of jealousy. James 3:14 says, “If you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t be arrogant and so lie against the truth.” In other words, stop justifying jealousy. Call it for what it is and confess it to the Lord.
We also need to be content with who we are realizing that God made us just like we are and that He loves us with His entire being! Psalm 139:13-18 read, “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.”
God created you just like you are and He loves you so much! Let your contentment dissolve the insecurity that moves you to jealousy.
And most of all, whatever circumstance you find yourself in, place your complete trust in the One who understands and who can help. Psalm 62:5-8 reads, “My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah!”
When that green-eyed monster finds it’s way into your life, trust the Lord for it’s defeat. Trust the One who made you, who loves you, who understands you, and who will help you. He is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold. I will not be shaken!
