Summary: We will always be hurt at some stage and need to forgive. In order for this to happen RECOGNITION and RESTORATION needs to take place. The ultimate goal is to welcome all those who are in God’s family in the same way.

You Can Listen To The Full Message Here:-

http://www.nec.org.au/index.php/listen-to-a-sermon-series/a-call-to-forgiveness/

Message

Philemon 8-25 “Forgiveness directs our actions”

Read Philemon 8-25

Just after I finished school I worked for my Dad for a while. I was doing house inspections for houses which were going to be moved from their block, put onto a truck, and moved somewhere else. Dad told me what to do. What to measure. And what to look for. I also took heaps of photos.

That was 22 years ago. I’m 40 now, most people think I look a lot younger than that. So you can imagine how old I looked when I was 18. I can’t really understand it but on one occasion one of the contractors rang Dad after I had been on an inspection – he definitely did not believe that I was old enough to do anything. Let alone do what was required to fulfil the job properly. I was not welcome to take Dad’s place.

Now let’s take that analogy and apply it to the book of Philemon.

Onesimus is a run-away slave.

He should be branded with an “F” on his forehead.

He has cost Philemon time and money.

It seems that he has stolen from Philemon.

Philemon’s attitude to Onesimus is not that favourable.

What’s Paul’s answer to the way forward? It is in verse 17 – and really this is the key verse of the whole book.

If you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.

Would you do it? Would you accept that Paul and Onesimus are equals? Is Onesimus a partner ... now welcome?

Paul wants Philemon to recognise that a partnership has developed – it is more than just master and slave now. A bond has been formed. That is a significant place to be.

So how did it get to this point?

It starts back in verse 10-11.

I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.

In our lives we have moved a couple of times. At some point we go back and visit those who we used to be friends with – and we discover that they have changed. We didn’t see the change in the years we lived in the same location. But when we move away the change becomes very obvious. People change ... people change all the time.

That’s why there is now a partnership between Philemon and Onesimus.

Paul wants Philemon to RECOGNISE that Onesimus is different.

Two things have happened since the last time Philemon and Onesimus were together.

Firstly, Onesimus is repentant. I appeal to you for my son, Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Did Paul give birth to a baby while he was in prison? Of course not. Paul was there when Onesimus gave his life to Jesus. Paul saw the Spirit of God at work as Onesimus confessed his sin. That’s repentance. But it goes a step further.

How do you think the letter which Philemon is now reading got to Colossae? It wasn’t emailed. All letters were hand delivered--and Onesimus is with the group who are delivering the letter. Repentance isn’t just a matter of words ... it is a matter of action. Onesimus shows his repentance by going back and facing the man he had wronged, the man who had the right to punish him. Repentance makes such a difference in relationships. But there is more.

Secondly Onesimus is transformed. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me. There is a little play on words happening here.

Onesimus means "useful." It was a common name for slaves, it probably started as a nickname. They just nicknamed their slaves useful.

By running away Onesimus became useless – not living up to his name. Paul is basically playing a word game. “Useful became useless but now is useful again, both to you and to me”.

Philemon might not see it but he is getting back much more then he lost. Before Onesimus ran away he may have been a useful slave, but now he is even better. God has changed him. He’s going to serve you in the way that Christian slaves serve.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favour, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. (Colossians 3:22-23).

Onesimus is this man. Trustworthy whether you are around or not. He is so different that Paul is grieved at the thought of sending him back. I am sending him, who is my very heart, back to you.

Can people really change like that?

One moment being useless? The next working in sincerity?

One moment a run-away? The next finding the favour of men?

Can that happen?

The Bible seems to think so.

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

(Romans 6:4)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

(2 Corinthians 5:17)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

(1 Peter 1:3)

Can people change? The Bible seems to think so ... and experience tells us that it is possible.

Johnny Lee Clary learned to hate at a very young age. He was raised in a family filled with racism, anger, and bigotry. At 14 he was seduced by the teachings David Duke the notorious leader of the Ku Klux Klan. Johnny became so enthralled with the sense of belonging and a need for “family” that he eventually became an Imperial Wizard – a top leader in an organisation responsible for bombings, murders, and countless other crimes—all in the name of hatred and racism.

But life was not easy. False arrests. A girlfriend who was FBI informant. Two divorces. Losing all his friends. On the verge of committing suicide one night, he cried out to God to deliver him from his nightmarish existence. And God answered. From that point on, Johnny Lee used his life, his experiences, and his near destruction to help others leave the same evil path that he had walked for so long. In 1995 Johnny was appointed National Director for the Congress Of Racial Equality.

People change. But will we recognise it when they do? Will our attitudes to them change as well? Welcome them as you welcome me, says Paul?

Is that what we do?

Is that how we act?

Recognition ... if forgiveness is going to take place it needs to happen.

It is a necessary step

But there is another step as well.

Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good—no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord.

What does Paul want?

Paul wants Philemon to RESTORE Onesimus.

There is a saying I heard once;

When I do something right no-one remembers. When I make a mistake, no-one forgets. It’s true isn’t it?

I was talking to a group of 17-18 year old teenagers in a church I lead 10 years ago. It was a large church with 40 youth. Now many of these kids had been in the same church since they were born, and they also went to the same school. They were all saying how they couldn’t find suitable people to date. I asked them why they didn’t consider dating each other.

“He picked his nose in grade 1.”

“She laughed when I couldn’t swim in grade 2.”

“He pulled my hair and made me cry when I was 7.”

On and on it went. They couldn’t see what each of them had become. They could only see what each of them were.

Restoration will never happen when that is the case. Paul wants Philemon to look at this situation from a different angle. God had a much bigger plan here.

Sure you have been hurt. We are not going to say that Onesimus is innocent. But I just want you to consider that maybe God had a purpose in all this. Perhaps Onesimus was parted from you for a while so that you could have him back forever – no longer as a slave but more than a slave, a beloved brother. Maybe God was using this evil to produce good.

It happens. God allows all sorts of events to occur, so that people are brought into a relationship with Him.

It happens in the life of Joseph. Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him and sold him into slavery. Joseph life goes through many ups and downs and eventually he is the second most important man in Egypt bar the Pharaoh. Eventually the brothers need help for food and they discover that Joseph has all this power. They offer to be slaves for Joseph. This is what Joseph says:-

Do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

(Genesis 45:4,6)

Or what about what happened to the prodigal son in Luke 15. The son asks his dad for all his inheritance and then just blows it all. Eventually the some comes back and he just wants to be a slave for his dad. Instead the father says;

“Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” So they began to celebrate.

(Luke 15:22-24)

Sometimes ...

Sometimes in order for another person to see who the Saviour is.

Sometimes God needs to put events in place that cause us hurt.

Sometimes He needs override our comfort to accomplish His own purpose.

Sometimes drastic actions are needed to bring people back to their senses.

Sometimes God is bringing another child into His kingdom in a most memorable way.

But the reason it happens is so that the other person can come to know Jesus. And we need to see what is happening here.

God’s ultimate plan for our lives is not that life will go easy and that we will never get hurt. God’s ultimate plan in life is that people come to know him as their Lord and Saviour.

Which means restoration is going to be required on the part of those who have been hurt the most.

RECOGNITION

RESTORATION

That’s the road Paul wants Philemon to take.

If you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.

For in Christ Paul and Onesimus are the same.

How many of us have been hurt? Too many is suspect.

How many of us have caused hurt to others? Also too many.

At some point all of us need to take this road.

We have been hurt and someone is asking for forgiveness.

We have hurt others and are asking for forgiveness.

It is a daunting act – but not impossible. When we allow the Scriptures to direct our path.

Recognition and restoration … heals broken husband-wife relationships.

Recognition and restoration … heals broken parent-child relationships.

Recognition and restoration … heals broken Christian-Christian relationships.

Recognition and restoration … heals any broken relationship.

Recognition and restoration. That is the actions of a forgiver.

It’s not easy is it?

But then again, was it any easier for Jesus to forgive us?

More to the point. Do we have the right to keep people in suspense – to make them feel useless because of our stubbornness in not forgiving?

Prayer

Father, we are so affected by this tremendous lesson in forgiveness.

If there is anything, Lord, in my heart or in the hearts of Your people here that could be in any sense viewed as an unforgiving attitude toward anyone, please forgive us and remove it for we know that You forbid an unforgiving heart.

We know we have sinned against You, at the same time we know that your forgiveness to us means we can forgive when people sin against us.

We also know, Lord, that a lack of forgiveness forfeits fellowship, communion with You and leaves our own sins unforgiven. We confess that a lack of forgiveness robs us of the love of other Christians and brings Your name in disrepute. Lord, may we not be unforgiving but may we be like Paul who was forgiving like Christ and who sought that others should be the same and thus may we know Your blessing and the joy that comes to obedient believers for our Saviour’s sake. Amen.

Amen