HoHum:
Song- Man Who Wrote Home Sweet Home
Man gets up early in the morn And leaves his wife in bed. She lies there as the kids wake up and cry, "Get up and cook some bread." Let me tell you a thing or two, That a woman like that won't never do, And the man that wrote the Home Sweet Home, He never was a married man.
CHO: He never had no loving wife To greet him with a frying pan. She'll meet you at the door when you go to come in And knock you down with a rolling pin, And the man that wrote the Home Sweet Home, He never was a married man.
2. Man comes in at dinner time, Hungry and he wants to eat. Finds his wife piled up in the bed, Lying there sound asleep. Gets so mad that he pulls his hair, He swears and declares that he won't stay there, And the man that wrote the Home Sweet Home, He never was a married man. CHO.
3. Man comes in from work at night, Tired and he goes to bed. The baby lying there in the cradle, Screaming like he'll raise the dead. He'll sit and rock for about an hour, And never a hand to help prepare, And the man that wrote the Home Sweet Home, He never was a married man. CHO.
WBTU:
Proverbs 19:13- a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
Proverbs 21:9 (Also Proverbs 25:24) - Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. The reference is probably to the little guest room that would be built on the roof. It would be cramped and lonely--but peaceful in avoiding strife.
Proverbs 21:19- Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
Proverbs 27:15-16: A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
What am I trying to do, pick on wives? No, the same thing can apply to husbands. When it comes to husbands, it can turn violent. Every 15 seconds a woman in this country is beaten by her husband or boyfriend. That is a problem in the world, not in the church. Oh really, Dennis Conner, a preacher at a small church in NC said that in his long ministry (20 years), 3 cases of domestic violence have happened in the membership of the church. What can the church do? Above all, believe the sister who talks of domestic violence. A woman in such a situation usually tells just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to the violence. A woman usually understates the seriousness and intensity of the violence. At great risk in coming to us (you), so why would she lie? Experts say that women are beaten about 5 times before they ever dial 911. Next, take this very seriously. The abuser should be held accountable. The victim needs to be protected. Christian leaders and members, who do not understand domestic violence often advise them to return to their homes and be “better wives,” “serve your husband,” “submit to your husband,” “forgive your husband,” “you must endure suffering” and “You made your bed, you lie in it!” When the wife ends up dead, we realize our errors.
We rightly take stands against divorce. Jesus commands us to do this. However, look at Malachi 2:16: I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty.
If there is anywhere that patience, gentleness and long-suffering should be exhibited, it’s at home.
One word stands out and that is quarrelsome. This person likes and thrives on strife and contention. This person can never be satisfied with what comes their way in life. They have the misconception that everything in life is to be perfect and they do not tolerate any contradiction to their will or wishes.
Proverbs says it is better to on a corner of the roof or live in a desert than to be sitting in a wide, spacious, and elegant room with him or her.
It’s like a constant irritation. There can be no relaxing or comfort in their presence.
Thesis: Let’s talk about domestic unrest tonight.
For instances:
Reasons for domestic unrest
A disturbed or defective relationship with God. Genesis 4:2b-8. Then 1 John 3:11-15
A distorted view of real life.
Things in life are not perfect. A perfectionist is one who refuses to live with anything less than perfection. They cannot tolerate mistakes and they leave us feeling that we could have done just a little better, regardless of how well we’ve accomplished a task. Great illustration of a perfectionist. John Quincy Adams held more important offices than anyone else in the history of the U.S. He served with distinction as president, senator, congressman, ambassador to major European powers, and participated in various capacities in the American Revolution, the War of 1812, and events leading to the Civil War. He was a faithful Christian and even wrote some hymns that survive to this day. Yet, at age 70, with much of that behind him, he wrote, "My whole life has been a succession of disappointments. I can scarcely recollect a single instance of success in anything that I ever undertook."
These people might even take a verse like Matthew 5:48 as their motto. Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. We might take this to mean that we have to be correct all the time or God won’t accept us. A recipe for a mental breakdown. Look at it again and we find the word “perfect” in this verse means completeness. It calls us to grow more completely in moral character (in turning the other cheek, loving our enemies, and giving to the needy without recognition), but doesn’t mean we will do everything with 100% correctness while we grow more like our heavenly Father.
For this person it is easy to give lip service to salvation by grace as described in Ephesians 2:8-9 while laboring hard to please God and ignoring the fact that God has already made us pleasing in his sight through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:3-14)
We are not perfect, that is why Jesus came.
When we demand perfection out of one another, we forget that we possess our own personal set of imperfections and flaws.
A denial of the proper place in or of the home.
Role of wife to husband. Ephesians 5:22-24, 33
Role of husband to wife. Ephesians 5:25- 33
Role of parents to children and children to parents. Ephesians 6:1-4
Results of domestic unrest
Children are hurt when there is domestic unrest in the home. They need a peaceful environment in which to grow up. To abuse a spouse is to abuse the children- at least emotionally. Erin Weeks (counselor with Family Services in NC) “I have talked to many children who share stories of listening to their parents’ fights at night, fights that their parents think are happening after the kids are in bed and unaware. Kids know!” Worst of all, when they get out on their own, they think this is normal.
The church is hindered. It is a bad testimony upon the church when a couple who are Christians cannot get along together. This does not reflect the holy model of Christ’s love for his bride.
Christ is grieved. Ephesians 4:30- Look at context. It reminds me of this guy in Tennessee who saw a water moccasin in the bottom of his row boat. In panic, he pulled out his pistol and began blasting at it. Can you guess what happened next? The bullets tore holes in the boat, the boat sank and he rested on a nest of water moccasins. This sinks our boat. It destroys us in the end. Our relationship with our brother effects our relationship to our God. It always does.
Resistance to domestic unrest
Have an understanding spirit. James 3:13-18
Know our place in the home as husband, wife, child.
Keep eyes on the Lord Jesus rather than on the faults of our spouse or child. Think about this, when we point our finger at someone else, how many fingers are pointing back to us? At least 3
Turn Your Eyes UPon Jesus Look full in his wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.
