Ten Ways God's People Enhance Acceptance (Romans 15:6,7)
"Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7 Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory."
Many people struggle with depression feeling that they are not really important, useful or enjoy a sense of belonging to someone who loves them. As a result too many people in our society resort to harmful habits or people who promise but do not deliver genuine acceptance. Truly Biblical acceptance begins by understanding our acceptance is in Christ Jesus and then moves on to getting connected with loving Christians who accept them with an unconditional love that demonstrates all the elements of I Cor. 13 love. (Patient and kind...bearing all things, believing the best in everyone, hoping for the best, and enduring all ups and downs in relationships)
The following are some of the essential roles that the body of Christ plays in enhancing acceptance and an abiding sense of belonging that we all desperately need:
1. Connection - People's most basic need in life is relationship. People who are connected to other people thrive and grow and those not connected tend to wither and get depressed. (Heb. 10:24,25)
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
Ask the Lord to help you gain a deep connection with certain members of the body of Christ through love, prayer and sharing goals in common. Many people are starved for connections and will respond if we ask, seek and knock and eventually the Lord will open the best doors of friendship to us. "The one who wants to have a friend must show himself to be a friend."
2. Discipline and Structure
Self-discipline is fruit of the Spirit that helps us overcome our fears of rejection through Spirit controlled love. (I John 4:18) There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear for fear involves punishment. We love because He first loved us." If you are disciplined in asking God to help you exhibit more of the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control you will find a greater door to acceptance. If you lack a self-discipline or structure, ask someone to help you improve your discipline
3. Accountability
Accountability helps us expose areas where we need to improve in our efforts to accept one another without being critical, judgmental or stand offish. It may seem daunting but ask someone to help hold you accountable for being more accepting, welcoming and tolerant of differences in the people around you. The Lord will also help convict you of mannerism and attitudes that project a lone wolf attitude that is unwelcoming to certain people through your behavior.
4. Support and Strengthening
Support is needed to help you learn to be more accepting so you can enhance the acceptance others feel toward you. Often times this means initiating conversation by asking people how they are doing. The best way to begin friendships is to take an interest in others needs, concerns and well being. When you show interests in others, they will normally reciprocate. When we face challenges that are beyond our normal strengths we need support and encouragement from others. (Phil. 2:1-5) is an excellent guideline in this process:
Have the Attitude of Christ
1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
5. Choose Good Models Who are Not Critical
Romans 14:1-7 gives great insights into how to choose the best role models for learning how to accept others according to the freedom of individual conscience:
The Danger of Criticism
1 Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. 2 For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. 3 Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him judge whether they are right or wrong. And with the Lord’s help, they will do what is right and will receive his approval.
5 In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. 6 Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. 7 For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves.
6. Learn to Overlook Faults and Imperfections
Even successful people struggle with imperfections and sufferings. No one is immune to hardships, adversities or discouragements. When we learn that the Lord accepts us inspite of our imperfections we can learn to do the same for others. Love overlooks faults and is not irritable, touchy or judgmental. If you are not willing to listen to peoples' struggles they will sense you do not accept them for who they are. This does not mean that we have to approve of sinful behavior but we learn to accept the sinner while distancing ourselves from the sin.
7. Acceptance is a Process
Paul wrote, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Eph. 4:28-32)
No one learns to master the art of acceptance without a gradual learning curve. We all grow in all aspects into Christ by speaking, living and exercising the love of Christ through maturing in many areas of life. This is the process of sanctification, maturation and incarnation that defines what is means to grow up in all aspects in to Him who is the head, even Christ. (Eph. 4:15,16)
Only through connected acceptance of the body of Christ are we able to experience what it means to grow up as we are fed and nurtured through all the members of the body of Christ who are necessary for our completion.
8. Healing and Confession Aids Acceptance
"We must confess our sins to one another and thereby we will be healed." (James 5:14-18) There is something essential in bearing our souls to one another in open transparent confession.
"Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven.
16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. 17 Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years! 18 Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops." (James 5:14-18)
9. Confronting and Caring Aids Acceptance
1"Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important." (Gal. 6:1-3)
Solomon wrote, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Open rebuke is better than secret love." (Prov. 27)
Ask the Lord to help you sense when to express so much compassion, grace and love that people will know you are telling the truth for the best interests of your friends. When the truth becomes too painful just back off until they are assured that you really care.
Love is an unselfish concern that freely accepts another and always seeks their good.
10. Administer Truth
Jesus said, "When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command." (John 15:10-14)
When we really love people we will tell them the truth from God's word, will and ways even if it risks a certain level of estrangement. We love people so much that it would be unkind not to tell them the truth.
Jesus said, "If you continue in my words then truly you are my disciples indeed and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31,32)
Illustration: Author and Nobel laureate Elie Wiesel worked in New York City after World War II as a correspondent for a French newspaper. His travel permit expired; and he was told at the French consulate that he would have to return to France to have it renewed, which he could not afford to do. At the U.S. Immigration office, an official kindly said to him, "Why don't you become a U.S. resident and apply for citizenship?" which he did. Years later, when offered French citizenship, he declined. When he needed a homeland, it was America who had offered him one.
People often gravitate to where they are accepted. When we were lost, "having no hope and without God in the world" (Eph. 2:12), it was God who "accepted [us] in the Beloved" (Eph. 1:6). Once accepted by Him, we remain because of the riches of grace He bestows upon us. Millions of wandering souls have found welcome refuge in America, but millions more have found welcome acceptance in the kingdom of God. If you know someone who is looking for acceptance, why not model God's acceptance by extending them yours? (Turning Point Daily Devotional, 4/7/04)
