Title: Is God a “Tiger” Parent?
Text: Matthew 21:23-32
Thesis: Ideally, when a Christian’s profession and practice meet… it’s a match!
Introduction
The meat of our story today is about a father who had two sons whom he asked to work in his vineyard.
Adrian Rogers, former president of the Southern Baptist Convention told about a man who made his sons work in his corn field while their friends were all at the swimming hole. Someone scolded the father asking, “Why do you make those boys work so hard? You don’t need all that corn.” The father replied, “Sir, I’m not raising corn. I’m raising boys.” (Marvin Hein, The Christian Leader, Nov. 21, 1989. Christianity Today, Vol 34, no. 2)
The father in our story owned a vineyard but he was also raising boys. We don’t know if his intent was to build character and discipline into the lives of his sons or if he really needed to have his sons do some necessary work in the vineyard. We only know that he asked both sons to go to work and Jesus made a spiritual point from the ways the boys responded to their father’s request.
There is really nothing subtle about the story. There is no hidden meaning. Jesus clearly says that there are two kinds of people:
• Some people, like one of the man’s sons, say they are good religious people but ultimately aren’t.
• Some people, like the man’s other son, make no pretenses of being religious but ultimately are.
The first group of people are those who “talk the talk but do not walk the walk.” In Matthew 21:30 we meet the first group of people.
I. People whose profession is better than their practice.
“Then the father went to the other son and said, ‘Son, go work today in the vineyard.’ He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but did not go.” Matthew 21:30
The father asked this son to go into the vineyard to work. The son was all good-son-like and readily agreed. “Sure Pop. I’ll get right at it.” But he never made it to the vineyard. He ultimately was not obedient to his father’s wishes.
These are people who began well... they were headed in the right direction but got sidetracked along the way and ended up not really following God. Like the good boy they are good people. We might say of them, “They meant well.”
One of the Ad Council’s most effective public service commercials is the “Don’t Almost Give” campaign. One ad shows a man with crutches struggling to go up a flight of steps. The narrator says, “This man almost learned to walk at a rehab center that almost got built by people who almost gave money.” After a pause the narrator continues, “Almost gave. How good is almost giving? About as good as almost walking.”
Another ad shows a homeless man curled up in a ball atop a pile of rags… he is covered with a ratty bed sheet. The narrator begins, “This is Jack Thomas. Today someone almost bought Jack something to eat. Someone almost brought him to a shelter. Someone almost gave him a warm blanket.” Then after a pause the narrator drives his point home, “And Jack Thomas? Well, he almost made it through the night.” (PreachingToday.com; source: YouTube.com Ad # 1 Man on Crutches and Ad #2 Homeless Man)
Almost giving is not giving. Almost helping is not helping. Almost is the same as not at all! If I were to skip work a few days and then show up one morning announcing that I almost got up and went to work those days… you would say, “Almost doesn’t cut it!”
I am a creature of habit and one of the things I need to complete my daily ritual is to open my front door and find the Denver Post on my doorstep. Almost delivering the paper is not the same as delivering the paper. I almost had my paper this morning when I left the house at 6:45. Almost having a paper is not the same as having a paper.
Promises are just that promises. Good intentions are only good intentions. There is an old saying that has been going around for almost forever… “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
The second group of people, as illustrated by the example of the other son, do not talk the talk but they do walk the walk.
II. People whose practice is better than their profession.
“The father went to the first son and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ He answered, ‘I will not,’ but later he changed his mind and went.’” Matthew 21:29
This son probably kept his parents up at night worrying themselves silly. He said he would be home by midnight but at one a.m. his father and mother are lying in bed wide awake with worry. He’s the black sheep of the family. He is the bad boy.
These are the people who really messed up early on but in our story, they eventually get headed in the right direction… however, meanwhile, they were the losers… the non-religious people.
I would guess that most of us are asked to do things we do not want to do and some of us actually have to defense mechanism in us to say, “No.” Others of us are likely to say, “Yes,” and then kick ourselves for having said, “yes,” when we meant to say, “no!”
At least this son knew his mind. He knew, as we sometimes are late in learning, that whenever you say ”yes” you may be saying “no” to something you really want to do… When you feel forced to do something your heart is not into or something for which you have no passion… you are spending time and energy on something that will keep you from saying “yes” to an opportunity for which you feel passionate. (Think prom dates…)
Sometimes we agree to do things simply because we know we should. I am always amazed at how agreeing to go and look at a chair results in a much more involved shopping excursion than originally anticipated. We say “yes” and then it occurs to us that we should have said “no!”
I’m sure the religious leaders were puzzled, as are we, that Jesus said tax-collectors and prostitutes would enter heaven ahead of the religious establishment. It was a very provocative thing to say and it warrants some thought. C.S. Lewis thought about it and concluded, “Prostitutes are in no danger of finding their present life so satisfactory that they need not or cannot turn to God. The proud and self-righteous, on the other hand, are in that danger.” (Philip Yancey, “Back to the Brothel,” Christianity Today, January 2005)
If this story teachings us anything it teaches us that no one’s situation is hopeless, no matter how bad and rebellious the boy.
One of the world’s most respected newspapers, The Christian Science Monitor, ran a story in 2006 about a young woman named Cynthia. Born into southern poverty she was introduced to moonshine when she was 5 years old. She was introduced to marijuana when she was 6. She was introduced to sex by her cousin when she was 8 years old. Her father died when she was 9. She left home and lived on the streets. She had her first child when she was 13. She was in and out of rehab programs for a number of years. She had two more children and at one point weighed only 64 pounds. She was arrested and sent to prison.
When she was released she went to a transition program called Magdelene, a two year residency program for women with a criminal history in prostitution and drug abuse. And for the first time she experienced love and a caring community and she found new life in Christ. Today Cynthia is clean and living a new life as a follower of Christ.
The founder of Magdalene, Reverend Becca Stevens says that women like Cynthia find themselves in very similar situations because of a combination of things like family failures, community breakdowns and poor choices. “You don’t make a lot of choices if you get raped at 8 years-old.” Drugs become a way to escape the pain, and prostitution the means of acquiring the drugs, she emphasizes, “No situation is hopeless. There is a myth that once you are a prostitute, you’re never going to get better. It’s not true.” (Jane Lampman, “Where Women Build New Lives,” Christian Science Monitor, 4/13/06, p. 13-14)
All that Jesus is really saying is that sometimes the people who are furthest from God and who feel most alienated from God and society discover their situation is not hopeless and that they can become new creatures in Christ. They discover that sins may be forgiven and they may be transformed into Christ-likeness.
Early on the last thing on their minds was any hint of spirituality… but then one day that all changed and they moved from darkness into light and they became followers of Christ and began to live lives of obedience to God.
In our story there are two sons. One son represents people who say they will be devoted followers of Jesus Christ but in the end are not. The other son begins his life as a contrarian. He says he will not live a life of devotion to God, but then in the end, does.
Neither is a perfect son but Jesus points out that despite his original rebelliousness, his eventual obedience is ultimately better than that of the other son who said he would be obedient and was not.
However, though not named, the story lends itself to a third son, a son who said he would obey and did obey. A third son’s profession could indeed match his practice. The third son would say “yes” and go to the vineyard and work.
III. People whose profession and practice meet and match…
And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Colossians 3:17
Ideally our words and our actions are consistent with what it means to be a follower of Christ.
In that neither son was an ideal son… we make the leap that an ideal son would be the #3 son which is what we would hope to be shooting for.
If organized religion were people who began and continued well we would not be vilified. We would not be accused of hypocrisy. Ghandi could not say of us, “I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. You Christians are so unlike your Christ.” It need not be like that. The followers of Christ can actually be followers of Christ in word and in deed. We can be perceived as “little Christs,” so to speak.
However the idea is that one son, though flawed, moved in the right direction, which in the mind of Christ, was a good thing.
Conclusion:
In the title I made reference to the hot-button phenomenon known as the “Tiger Mom.” And I asked, “Is God a Tiger Parent?”
Amy Chau, a Chinese mother of two daughters is a Yale professor, as is her husband. Her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, is intended to be a memoir of how she raised her daughters using the “tiger mom” (Chinese mother) approach as opposed to the Western mother model.
She drives her daughters relentlessly. No sleepovers. No playdates. No grade lower than an A. No choosing your own extracurricular activities. No ranking lower than number 1 in any subject except gym and drama. Nothing short of perfection is acceptable.
When one of her daughters could not get “The Little White Donkey” on the piano she threatened to give her doll house to the Salvation Army. When that did not work she denied her lunch and then dinner. She threatened “no” birthday parties for two, three or four years… she stood over her daughter practicing and practicing until she mastered it.
Does being an unrelenting tiger parent work? This year in the Programe for International Student Assessment tests, Chinese students ranked first in every single area. United States students ranked 17th in reading, 23rd in science and 31st in math. The U.S. ranked behind the Chinese, Koreans, Singaporeans, the French, Austrians, Hungarians, Slovenians, Estonians and the Poles.
Is God a tiger parent? Is God a hard-driving, demanding God that accepts nothing short of “A’s” in every subject? I am sure that God, like every parent I know, wishes his children would excel in all things…
However, God is not a “tiger” parent. God would love it if we were perfect and ideally that would be nice. God does give us the standard for behavior, i.e., obedience, as in “go into my field and work.” One son ultimately did do it though he said he would not and the other who said he would, did not. The idea is that God is gracious and forgiving of the son who did do ultimately do what was asked while God is not pleased by the son who said he would and didn’t.
This is story is not rocket science. Jesus even explained it to his listeners. The long-time religious people knew Jesus thought of them as people who said they would be good and godly but ultimately were not. And they knew that the known sinners who turned from their sins to God and began living good and godly lives were the ones who found God’s favor.
When John the Baptist came onto the scene he was preaching to both the religious establishment and the not so religious. His word to everyone was to repent and begin to live so that your lives are reflections of your belief in and love for Christ.
The Word to us all is that we repent and live lives of obedience so that our lives reflect our belief in and love for Christ.
This week when the rubber meets the road may your find traction to live a life of consistency wherein when you talk the talk, you also walk the walk.
