Summary: A Father's Day message - geared to challenge men to uphold their calling as men and as leaders in their homes, the Church, and society.

Judges 4:1-5:31; 9:50-57; I Timothy 2:8

Introduction: One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. She kept silent, and hid in the shadows to watch him. As he stood there looking down at their little child, she looked at the mixture of emotions on his face: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. He’d stand back, shake his head and say, "Amazing," and smiled from ear to ear. She was touched to see this side of her husband. Her eyes twinkled as she slipped her arms around him. She whispered into his ear, “A penny for your thoughts.”

"Isn’t it amazing!" he said. "When you take the time and really look close, how can anyone make a crib like that for only $85.99?"

You need us, ladies, don’t you?! Honestly. Who else is going to think of those things? And while almost every glimpse of men in the media may give you the impression that all men are just knuckleheaded, selfish, and helpless, I’m impressed by an inescapable reality this Father’s Day: there’s a huge need for dads, and for men in general, to be what God has called us to be in our homes, in the church, and in our society.

It was just a few weeks ago that we honored mothers and the vital role they have. There’s nothing we could say this morning to diminish that. But we’d be wrong to dismiss the importance of fathers. In fact, if I could accomplish one big goal this morning, it would be to reestablish the fact that dads are needed, and men are needed, to fulfill our God-ordained roles today. In other words, Dads, rather than just berate all of us for not living up to all we’re called to be, I’d like to do some cheerleading this morning and encourage all men in our unique role.

It’s good to be a man, isn’t it, men? “Why?” you women may be asking? Reasons it’s good to be a man:

• You know stuff about tanks.

• One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

• You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

• If someone forgets to invite you to something he can still be your friend.

• You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

• If another guy shows up at the same party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

• There is always a game on somewhere.

• You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

• A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.

• When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

• Car mechanics tell you the truth.

• You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

• Gray hair and wrinkles only add character to men.

We’re different from women, men. It doesn’t take a $60mil government study to tell us that. Fact is, the Lord has always been telling us that. It seems to center around authority. That’s the moral right to tell someone what to do. For instance, before He left, Jesus pointed out that He has all authority in heaven and on earth – he has the moral right to tell everyone what they ought to do. That’s not a bad thing – it’s a fact of life.

And God has distributed that authority to different areas of life – specifically in our government, our homes, and in the church. I’m not talking about the guy who works his brains out and who climbs the corporate ladder to become the CEO of some Fortune 500 and is regarded by his company as one of its most valuable people. I’m not talking about the guy who enlists in the army and works his way up to 5 star general, who the army regards as a person of far greater worth than Private Henderson.

Authority, as God describes it, isn’t about people being more important or of greater worth than other people – it’s simply about people being placed in positions to bear the responsibility of leadership in our homes, in the Church, and in our society.

As it turns out, men are the ones placed in those positions, frequently, and the reason we have for accepting them is God’s authority. He has the right to tell us what to do, and He has told us to take on roles where we become His agents of delegated authority.

I’m convinced of this: in general terms, men, God wants us to be leaders.

I. To Lead In Society...

There’s a classic example in the Bible where a man failed to be a man and a woman stepped in. It’s frequently used by the radical feminist voices to prove that women should be regarded with exactly the same expectations as men. I beg to differ. I think this story teaches us just the opposite.

It’s in Judges 4. In those days, there was no king in Israel. Everyone was just doing what he or she thought was right in their own eyes. When times are like that, lots of interesting things happen, so Judges is full of interesting stories. This is one of them:

Judges 4:4-10 Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time. She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites came to her to have their disputes decided. She sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, "The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.'"

So, Barak receives a call from God – not a suggestion, but a commandment – to be a military leader for Him.

8 Barak said to her, "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go."

In other words, Barak was failing to be the man God was calling him to be.

9 "Very well," Deborah said, "I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the LORD will hand Sisera over to a woman."

Pay attention here. “Because of the way you are going about this…” God wasn’t pleased. Saying that Deborah had to go too wasn’t God’s plan. As a result of his failure, a woman will receive the honor for this military achievement rather than Barak.

9b-10 So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh, where he summoned Zebulun and Naphtali. Ten thousand men followed him, and Deborah also went with him.

Deborah went ahead with Barak. God did give victory to Israel. The armies of Sisera fell at their attack, and Sisera ran away. He hid in the tent of the king’s friend. The lady of the house, Jael, fed him and made him nice and cozy. After he fell asleep, she took a hammer and tent stake and drove it through his skull.

Israel won that day. On the surface, everything seemed to turn out OK. But from the start, Deborah made it clear, how it happened it wasn’t the way things were supposed to be.

What was wrong? King killed. Enemy neutralized. Problem solved. Right?

Contrary to what the Lord commanded, the man he called wasn’t leading out, and the honor for the death of the enemy was given to a woman. (In short Barak was a wuss.)

There’s another story later on in Judges 9. Abimelech attacked the city of Thebez. The people of the city all ran in to a big tower and locked themselves in. Abimelech approached it to set it on fire. When he got close, a woman dropped a millstone out a window, and it landed on Abimelech’s head, cracking his skull. That had to hurt! He’s standing there, about to die, cracked skull, and what’s on his mind – besides a millstone?

Judges 9:54 Hurriedly he called to his armor-bearer, "Draw your sword and kill me, so that they can't say, 'A woman killed him.'" So his servant ran him through, and he died.

It’s one thing to be remembered as a treacherous, murderous man and to die by the sword of your own armor bearer -- it’s another thing entirely to be remembered as a guy who was killed by a woman – at least it is to Abimelech!!

Where’s this coming from? Is it all just an over-inflated male ego? Where did this guy get such deep convictions? With the one right idea that men should be leaders!

There’s an on-going effort in our world to blur the distinction between men and women – an attack not only on what is truly masculine, but against what is truly feminine too.

You can see it in the homosexual rights movement

Some years back, CA took measures in schools to assure that children are exposed to pro-homosexual curriculum – teaching 1st grade kids that the choice of sinful lifestyle is normal and healthy and nothing to alarm them. Just a couple weeks ago, Illinois joined the list of states that now approve so-called civil unions, or, Gay marriage.

You can see it in the military,

For several years there’s been a push to put women on the frontlines. I’m sorry, but doesn’t the thought of our women going off to war while able-bodied men remain at home resemble a husband cowering under the covers as his wife goes to confront an intruder in their home? And the argument is that there are no inherent differences between men and women.

You can even see it in the fashion industry:

Somewhere along the line, I learned that women wear perfume and men wear cologne. At least, until 1996. Calvin Klein made a fragrance called “Be” - not a cologne or perfume – it wasn’t just for men; not just for women. It didn’t smell masculine, didn’t smell pretty. It just smelled. So does any attempt to try to ignore or downplay the created differences between male and female!

I want to tell you, you should “be.” If you’re a young man, then be a young man, and if you’re a young lady, be a young lady, and praise God for your unique identity in this life! It was His idea!

I know, that’s just a cultural thing – and our culture is wrongly attempting to blur the distinctions of being masculine. It’s not just in ignorance of what it means to be a man that these things are happening, it’s in spite of it, in opposition to it, and it’s to the shame of men who have failed to take their proper roles in the world.

I notice that when God prepared Israel for military conquest, he told Moses: (Num 1:3) You and Aaron are to number by their divisions all the men in Israel twenty years old or more who are able to serve in the army. God seemed to think it was appropriate for men to fight wars; not women, not children.

Ill - Dr. Charles Winick at City University of New York studied more than 2,000 cultures that have existed in world history. He found only 55 out of 2,000 – less than 3% - where masculinity and femininity blurred. Not one of those 55 societies survived for more than a few years. You’d think we’d learn! But this loss of masculinity isn’t just a military or societal issue. It’s a spiritual matter.

God designed that men should be leaders in society. They’re supposed to take up their roles as the protectors and defenders of those who Peter says are “weaker vessels.” They’re supposed to put their God-given strengths and abilities to use for the good of the world, and to the glory of God. I say men, let’s do it. Let’s stop letting a society that has no clue tell us what a man is supposed to be!

Why does it sound so crazy that I would stand up here and say, “Men, let’s be men!” today? Because it’s not PC! Because by saying it, somehow, I’m saying women are less! Because we, as a society, have to tame this dangerous red-meat-eating monster called masculinity that has led to everything evil and destructive in the world!

But for centuries, it hasn’t been thought too crazy an idea that men should lead in their society. It’s only in these recent decades as men fail to keep their moral bearings and fulfill their roles. And it’s only since the early 60’s that in the US, the concept of masculinity began to blur. Still, all along, God had established that men were primarily to be the providers and drivers of civilization. It’s in our makeup, and the failure of men to be men has led to the confused, frustrated and wounded men we see all around us today.

Where did we ever get the idea that men are supposed to step up and lead in their society?

One of the main places where we get such a crazy concept is the fact that men are called to lead in their homes.

II. To Lead In the Homes

Wives and children, one of the greatest things you can do to help men be the leaders God wants is to encourage and respect their role as leader in your home.

1 Peter 3:1-2

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

1 Peter 3:5-7 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

• Then there are those passages like Ephesians 5 where Paul says the husband is the head of the wife.

• There’s Colossians 3 where that word “submission” gets used for wives again.

• And there’s Titus 2 where older ladies of the church are to teach the younger ladies to be submissive to their husbands.

Now, guys, we like these verses - Submission and all that – ho, ho, ho…

Does it occur to anyone, while the Scriptures instruct wives to be submissive, that they are also crying out for their men to then be leaders?! Husbands, if that woman is supposed to willfully arrange herself under your leadership, what are you supposed to do? Answer: provide solid leadership!

Dads, if those kids are supposed to obey and honor you as their father, what are you supposed to do for them? Be a person who models and who directs them with legitimate leadership!

Fathers are an important contributor to the developing child. Dads interact with their kids differently than mothers. Fathers instill a sense of independence and self-esteem. One professor suggests that fathers make contributions above and beyond those of mom, even when the child is as young as 2.

Ill - Hollis Whitrock, 20 years ago at Preaching/Teaching Convention. "10 items that are threatening the family of today" - he had research on the father's influence in the home: % of people who decided that relationship with God was important, church life was important in their adult years - when neither of their parents attended church: 6%; when only mom attended church: 16%; when only dad attended church: 56%. He calls it "Papa Power" and, without downplaying Mom's role, we need to agree that fathers have a position of power for good unlike any others.

I’m watching you, Dad.

When you take some statistics like

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes

Then these translate to mean that children from homes without dad are:

5 X more likely to commit suicide.

32 X more likely to run away.

20 X more likely to have behavioral disorders.

14 X more likely to commit rape

9 X more likely to drop out of high school.

10 X more likely to abuse chemical substances.

9 X more likely to end up in a state-operated institution.

20 X more likely to end up in prison.

No attempt to get around it will ever erase the evidence: children need dads who are involved in their lives to help them grow up and make their intended contribution to this world.

Dads are the first line of defense for their family, and are often the first area where Satan attacks, because the enemy knows if you can take the leader out, his subjects are soon to follow. God has called us to provide leadership in our homes.

III. To Lead In the Church...

People of the church, one of the greatest things you can do to help men be the leaders God wants is to encourage and respect their role as leaders in the church.

Our current age has really resisted the idea of men being leaders any more than women. Lest that satanic influence give anyone the idea that the Bible is down on women, we need to highlight some Scriptural teaching about women. The Bible teaches that

• In creation, both men and women are equal in their being. They’re both handcrafted by God. Men and women both bear the image of God. Both share God’s commission to be fruitful and take dominion of the earth.

• When it comes to salvation, men and women are equal in their approach and standing before God. Both are children of God, priests to God, Spirit-gifted servants of God, and members of the Body of Christ. Husbands and wives are fellow heirs of the grace of life. In the body of Christ, men and women are to care for one another equally.

• Unlike the ancient Jewish and pagan approaches of his day, Paul emphasizes the unity and interdependence of men and women.

• And today, as so much attention is given to Muslim culture, NT Christianity once again stands against the current of a highly influential system of religion and politics because we uphold women with respect and dignity.

Just the same, God makes provision for headship and subordination among equals. And God calls for men to be leaders.

1 Timothy 2:8-14

I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.

I’m thoroughly convinced that the issue of women’s role in the church today wouldn’t be such a hot or questionable issue if the men of the Church were rightly fulfilling their roles as the leaders God has called us to be. There wouldn’t be so much concern over whether or not women should be in the pulpit if there were enough men answering the call of God to be there. There wouldn’t be the question of whether or not women should serve as elders if the men of the church were aspiring to that work of service and preparing themselves for it!

God could use some men who are willing to step up and fulfill what He has called them to be. It won’t suppress real femininity. It will honor it. It won’t make our homes less. It will make them greater. It won’t weaken the church. It will only make it stronger and more distinct in a culture that has lost its ability to see the obvious.

Conclusion

To end this morning, I want to share part of an article I ran across: “A Father's Influence” - by Dan Davidson

Someone recently pointed out to me that, in all likelihood, the first human hands to touch Jesus were those of his earthly father, Joseph. It was probably the strong, callused hands of the carpenter from Nazareth that gently caught the newborn babe and welcomed him into our world. Even before his mother held him close, Jesus felt the presence, protection and care of his earthly father. The first eyes to see and adore the Messiah belonged to Joseph.

A father’s greatest influence is not what he teaches his children. It is who he is. It is not the pride he instills through great accomplishment or recognition. It is the presence he shares, the time spent with his kids, the love for his family he models, the values and priorities by which he lives, the commitment he makes to his God.

Was Joseph’s greatest accomplishment the trade he taught his son? Jesus seemed to be well known for his fine carpentry skills. Or was Joseph’s greatest contribution to mankind found in the kind of man he raised? Did he show Jesus how to love and respect others? How to treat women with dignity when others might not? How to face adversity with courage? How to read and revere the sacred Scriptures? How to pray? How to love and obey God? We will never know for sure, but I suspect that, in the culture of that day, Joseph played an even greater role than Mary did in shaping the human side of the Savior, the side we often refer to as our "example."

So, who’da thought? Joseph is still another reason. God Wants Men to be Leaders. It’s that simple.

But when it comes to salvation, there’s no difference. (Rom 3:22ff) There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace...

There’s no difference this morning. Whether you’re a super saint, or lost as you can be, we all need the grace of God just the same. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or married, old or young, ugly or beautiful, God has already stated your value: You were worth the death of Jesus. God valued the potential for you to live with Him forever in heaven enough to send the Son to die on your behalf…