Summary: To show how we are good encouragers when, from pure motives we deliberately give the message that truly encourages

I Thessalonians 2:1-12

Introduction - Story - Norman Vincent Peale - "Once walking through the twisted little streets of Kowloon in Hong Kong, I came upon a tattoo studio. In the window were displayed samples of the tattoos available. On the chest or arms you could have tattooed an anchor or flag or mermaid or whatever. But what struck me with force were 3 words that could be tattooed on one's flesh, "Born to lose."

I entered the shop in astonishment and, pointing to those words, asked the Chinese tattoo artist, "Does anyone really have that terrible phrase, 'Born to lose,’ tattooed on his body?"

He replied, "Yes, sometimes."

"But," I said, "I just can't believe that anyone in his right mind would do that."

The Chinese man simply tapped his forehead and said in broken English, "Before tattoo on body, tattoo on mind."

What a powerful statement! Before tattooed on body, tattooed on mind! True! Before you start to see in people the externals of fatigue and frowns and negativity and angry words and introversion, on the inside already there has been an uninvited visit by one of man’s greatest enemies: discouragement.

Before Eeyore ever said, "Not that it matters anyway or that anyone cares...." that depressed donkey from Winney the Pooh fame was somehow discouraged, and it became a way of life for him.

Know what? I’ve met a lot of Eeyores! I’ve met a lot of people who have taken up discouragement as a lifestyle.

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Gerrie: Boy, this sermon’s just in time. I’m not sure how much longer I can take living with Eeyore!

Fred: Not that it matters, but were you talking about me? What makes you say that?

Gerrie: Oh, I don’t know – maybe it was the way you were singing “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen” this morning in the shower.

Fred: Well, has it ever occurred to you that maybe I was a little down?

Gerrie: A little down? If you were any more “down” you’d be qualified to fill a feather bed! Has it ever occurred to you how hard it can be to be around someone who’s so discouraged? I’ve even noticed the cat doesn’t want to be around you lately!

Fred: Well, maybe if you’d pay attention this morning, you could help me.

Gerrie: I guess you’re right. I suppose if I’m ever going to survive your gloominess I’m going to need some help. There’s one reason to listen anyway!

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There’s a need for encouragement out there, Amen? Why else would the Bible have so much to say about it?

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Hebrews 3:13

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Hebrews 10:25

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

These are commands for us to be good encouragers.

Think about it with me, and how it works in the Church...

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve visited someone sick and all around the room there are cards, flowers, beenie babies, you name it – all sent by people from the church family. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve visited the hospital and a sick person will tell me, “Oh, there have been several people here today already!” (Maybe that’s a hint for me to leave sooner!). And something is obvious about those visits – they’ve encouraged somebody.

A man’s afraid. Someone said he was afraid to become a Christian. It is scary, but a few words of encouragement from someone who knows what that fear is like, and he makes the decision to accept Jesus. That’s not just some made-up story. It’s the kind of true story that’s the story of people sitting around you!

I want you to leave this morning being a better encourager than you were when you walked in. Let me encourage you to do that, will you? And, once again, let’s get it done by looking into the encouraging letter that Paul wrote to the Christians in Thessalonica, I Thessalonians, ch. 2.

I want you to see with me that encouragement comes with “some assembly required.” It has a few parts, and we’re going to look over the instructions this morning to see if we can it put together in ourselves before we get out those doors.

The first part is…

I. Pure Motives

Story - There have been periods of time in my life when I must have been very discouraged and the word got out because I would get phone calls. People would call me up – people I don’t even know, just to encourage me. Yep, I’ve had a lot of encouragement over the phone:

“Mr. Nicholas Sherman? This is first bank of the last chance, and we want to compliment you on your excellent credit record. Our company wants to reward responsible people like you with our new Visa plutonium card. You owe this to yourself for all your hard work!” ------ they’re very encouraging! Still, when that friendly voice sounds on the other end of the phone, I have to honestly say I don’t trust their motives. I think they want something more than to just call me up and compliment me!

Encouragement is an effort to change another person’s direction – to get them to think and feel differently. That’s what informercials are for, isn’t it? So, what’s the difference between being a good encourager and being a good manipulator? It’s called pure motives.

1 Thessalonians 2:3-6

For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed--God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else.

No ignorance, impurity, deceit, pleasing men, flattering, ulterior motives, seeking men’s glory. The value of Paul’s encouragement was due in part to his motives in giving it.

Ill - Sometimes kind deeds come from mixed motives. In Miami, FL, vandals had cut down 6 royal palms along Flagler St. The palms were very expensive, and Dade County authorities weren't sure if they could replace them very soon. But then someone donated 6 more and even had them planted. The old ones had been about 15' tall and provided a nice foreground for a "Fly Delta" billboard. The new palms were 35' tall they completely hid the sign.

By the way, the new donor was Eastern Airlines.

Have you ever had someone doing you favors or a kindness and later found out that they were actually after something? How does that leave you feeling?

Look at the motives of Paul and his companions:

1 Thessalonians 2:8

We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

1 Thessalonians 2:12

encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

In other words, Paul worked at encouraging them because he really loved these people, and then because he really wanted them to be obedient to God. See, the right motive, the one that will make you a good encourager, is to have enough love for someone that you seek his / her success.

The reason we’re sometimes weak at this isn’t just technique; it’s first a heart matter! It’s because often we don’t care enough, we don’t have enough love for the other guy for him or her to do well at our expense.

Encouragement has to be selfless – it’s driven by a genuine desire to see someone else succeed. So it takes right motives, pure motives. If you’re going to become a good encourager, start by taking a look at your motives.

Another part of becoming a good encourager is having a

II. Powerful Message

I’ve heard and seen a lot of attempts to be encouraging over the years. Some of them even come from well-meaning people with good motives, but they still just don’t get the job done. So there’s more to this than just good intentions. Being a good encourager also means having something to share with people that really does give encouragement. (break to skit..)

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Gerrie: I suppose you’re going to tell me that the things I’ve said to you lately haven’t been very encouraging, have they?

Fred: You mean like when you said, “How could anyone be down when he has me for a wife?”

Gerrie: Hey, I thought that was pretty clever!

Fred: Well, it was cute, but it really didn’t help much.

Gerrie: I’m sure I had good intentions.

Fred: I think you probably did too, but somehow being clever just makes it seem like you’re really not in touch with where I’m at.

Gerrie: You mean my words of encouragement don’t encourage you?

Fred: Let’s just say you should probably not seek a job writing greeting cards.

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Here’s a short list of things that are meant to encourage, but don’t:

1. Oh, come on, Honey, you have me don’t you?

2. I know just how you feel. (No, you don’t)

3. Look on the bright side, you still have your other children.

4. It must be God’s will.

5. Everything has a reason.

6. At least you have your health

7. At least you have your youth

A book could be written of things that were supposed to be encouraging, but just weren’t. Why is that? Because encouragement means having something of substance to give to people.

If the bulk and depth of your wisdom comes from TV, music videos and tabloids, you’re going to struggle with being a good encourager! The pool of collective wisdom you’re drawing from there won’t satisfy the dried up soul of a person who needs to be refreshed!

What is the message that encourages? Look again, vv2,4,8,9 - the gospel! The good news, with all that it implies...

How about, instead of triteness or clichés, we have something worthwhile to say to the downtrodden?

How about, instead of saying, “Oh, this is just like an episode of “Friends” that I saw,” we point hurting people to where they really can be healed?

• I know that you hurt right now, but God has promised one day when all that hurt will be removed

• You feel like no one loves you. I do! But more importantly, God loves you and hasn’t turned His back on you!

• You’re down because of what you can’t have. Don’t forget what you do have in Christ!

• I can’t understand all you feel or are going through right now. God does! He understands, and He cares about you.

• You feel worthless. Let me tell you what you’re worth! God paid a great price for you!...

God’s message hasn’t lost its relevance! What was good to bring comfort and encourage the 1st-Cent. Church is good to encourage people today! This morning, you have sitting right in your lap the greatest words of encouragement that anyone can offer. Remember that!

Why is it that we tend to open up the Bible as a kind of last resort when we’re in the worst of situations? Listen! God’s word has a whole lot more encouragement, a whole lot more help for discouraged people than anything you or I can come up with! Amen?

2 Timothy 2:15

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

Real encouragement means having enough spiritual maturity to be able to point people to real help -- to spiritual truths with spiritual strengths! A good encourager is someone who has a handle on that powerful message -- who can use it like a 2-edged sword, who can shine it like a spotlight, who can apply it like a balm to the wounds of life! Good encouragement has a powerful message.

Finally, it has a…

III. Purposeful Method

Good encouragement doesn’t just happen. It takes being deliberate. We have to do it on purpose. If it’s not happening among us like it should -- or if you’re not doing it like you should -- maybe you need to get deliberate about it. Maybe you need to map out a plan for how you’re going to become a better encourager. If you’re going to become a good encourager -- and you need to -- then you can expect these to be a part of the deal, just like they were in Paul’s life:

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Fred: OK, Gerrie. Now would be a good time to take notes.

Gerrie: I’ll tell you what. I will if you will. You know Fred, I’m sure going to do this better at home for your sake, but it sounds to me like it’s bigger than just us. Do you suppose that some of the people around us could use our help sometimes?

Fred: Well, maybe. I always just figured I was going through too much to help anybody else.

Gerrie: So far he hasn’t said anything about whether or not you’re having a tough time. Maybe you need to see if you can’t do some of this yourself, Mr. Eeyore.

Fred: OK, OK. Where’s a pencil?

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The first thing you need is…

1. Personal Preparation

This may have already happened to you. In fact, you don’t have much control over it. It may be that the Lord has allowed you through some hard times in life so that you could be a better encourager to others.

Instead of saying, "I’ve been through so much, I don’t think I could encourage anyone else," how about saying instead, "I’ve made it through so much, it would be a terrible waste to not use what I’ve learned to help someone else with it."

Hebrews 12:5 13

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

In other words, God would rather your life be a masterpiece that took a lot of colors and a lot of work than for you to be a dot-to-dot drawing! What God has allowed you to endure may well be the way He has prepared you to become one of His greatest encouragers!

To you, friend who has been through some tough times - If God has invested so much in you, can He at least expect the return of you passing it along?

2 Corinthians 1:3 4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Preparation is part of the deal. It’s no fun, but it’s part of the deal.

2. Hard Work

-Ill - I run faster when I have a running partner who’s running fast. I work harder when I’m around guys who are hard workers. Discouraged people are going to be more encouraged when they’re around people who are giving their all.

v9 - Paul reminded the Thessalonians how they had worked extra hard among them, so that their message wouldn’t carry the baggage of a financial burden. Why else do you suppose they worked hard in Thessalonica? Just like a father would teach his son about hard work by taking him along, Paul wanted the Thessalonians to learn what it meant to be an encourager by his example, not just his words.

If you want to be an effective encourager, be sure that it’s going to happen only when you apply hard work to it. There are a lot of Eeyores out there! Encouraging is hard work.

3. Loving, Open compassion

The 90’s were marked by a new wave of anti-man feminism and an undercurrent of men putting away their John Wayne movies and “getting in touch with their feelings.” Some called them “sensitive 90's guys.” Paul would have made a great “sensitive 90's” guy - in some ways. Being open with his feelings is one. No John Wayne facade. Look how open he is about his feelings for the Thessalonians.

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

It means a lot more to someone when you’re willing to allow some vulnerability and transparency on your part. That’s more work, but that’s part of the deal to become a good encourager – Loving, open compassion.

4. Courageous Boldness

1 Thessalonians 2:2

We had previously suffered and been insulted in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in spite of strong opposition.

Jonathan Edwards - "Boldness enables Christians to forsake all rather than Christ, and to prefer to offend all rather than to offend Him."

We’re not speaking just of being a bold witness for Christ here - in the broader sense, Paul was bold enough to tell people what they needed to hear. Being an encourager sometimes means needing a certain degree of boldness.

Cheerleaders aren’t typically shy people, and what we’re talking about is being a cheerleader - for obedience and for real life in Christ.

It takes a certain degree of courage to say to someone, “You know, I’m not going to let you just drift away from the Church. You’re down, and you’ve wrongly convinced yourself that no one cares. I’m not going to let you off that easy! I’m going to pester you! I’m going to pray for you! I’m going to not let you rest in the thought that no one cares about you!”

I want to challenge you: be bold in this business of encouraging. Is it needed? Will it help?

Well who’s going to do it?

Conclusion:

Joseph McKinney - "Anyone can love the ideal church. The challenge is to love the real church."

Anyone can love holding a baby. You can always find a baby or two around here. And when you walk around you’ll often find ladies holding babies they don’t belong to! It’s so nice to hold someone else’s baby and just hand him back over when he fusses. But babies need to be held when they’re crying, when they’re cutting teeth, and when they need to be changed too.

Anyone can like having friends who are never discouraged, never need to be prompted to do the right thing, who are always a joy to be around and a lift to your spirits. Anyone can enjoy having friends who don’t have any troubles. But, guess what - most people aren’t that way. Most people have moments when a word of encouragement is a real need.

Most people, in the church too, are going to have times when you’ll need to be the one giving, not receiving, help. If we don’t accept that reality, no one’s going to be receiving help.

Someone out there has a "born to lose" tattoo on his mind this morning.

What’s even more serious, someone out there that you know has a "lost" tattoo on his mind -- separate from Christ, foreigners to the covenant, without God, without hope, alone in the world. No wonder they’re discouraged with life. What they need is Jesus Christ.

Is that you?...