WHAT FELLOWSHIP IS NOT
CHURCH SERIES #2: DEVOTED TO FELLOWSHIP
BIBLE VERSE: ACTS 2:42-47
42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
TRANSITION: The book of Acts lays out the foundation of the early church, and quite honestly, the modern church as well. Specifically, these 5 verses here explain perfectly the role of the church and what the church is supposed to be and do. So this next series, which continues our Acts 2 series, will be a look at the specific role of the church breaking down part by part week by week.
THE OUTLINE:
A. Devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching.
B. Devoted themselves to fellowship.
C. Devoted themselves to the breaking of bread.
D. Devoted themselves to prayer.
E. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs.
F. All believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.
G. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.
H. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.
I. They praised God.
J. They enjoyed the favor of all people.
K. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
OPEN: One of the actions performed by the church is fellowship. And though we as believers may not always fellowship directly in line with the scriptures (koininia according to the verses), I firmly believe that our church and specifically our group does an absolutely fantastic job of gathering together.
TRANSITION: So this lesson isn’t so much as to what is fellowship. I think every church pot luck, laser tag, Winter Jam, lock-in, Risk tournament, Pointer’s Pizza, or even Never Have I Ever tends to take care of that (the main point being the one on one personal relationships molded from those times). So this lesson is what fellowship is NOT.
THE QUESTION: HOW DO PEOPLE FAIL AT FELLOWSHIP?
Unlike the typical five question small group. This small group lesson has ONE question, and a number of different answers (leaders, feel free to break down any and all the ones you look through, feel free to add your own since this by no means is an exhaustive list, but it does cover some of the majors). I want to point out that though I list a bunch of “types of Christians” who really don’t fellowship, being honest, the real reason some people who say their Christian do not fellowship is because quite simply they are not Christian (that will actually be the last point made, so it may not be needed to be mentioned this early in the lesson).
1. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A “FAILURE TO THRIVE” CHRISTIAN?
In Romania, after communism collapsed in the early 1990’s, outsiders went to have a look at how the country was being run. Obviously, the nation was in a state of mess, as was their childcare industry. The world found out when they entered into the Romanian orphanages that there was an unusual phenomenon, though the babies were given food, had the necessary amount of milk, and were changed semi-regularly, that many if not most of the babies perished anyway.
Why? The doctors called it “failure to thrive” syndrome. Meaning, though they had all the needs necessary to sustain life, because they lacked LOVE, TOUCH, AFFECTION, WORDS, FAMILY, they died. And even those that lived to 6, 9, 12 months, still acted like newborns and completely failed to advance.
Well, that is the case with “failure to thrive” Christians. They were led to the Lord through a friend, perhaps they came forward at a church. They desperately want to grow, eat, join, but because others failed to give them proper care, they were malnourished.
This sad reminded to us is that we as believers have a responsibility to disciple those (to help grow) those whom the Lord has called. If we are doing our disciple-making work, they’ll thrive.
2. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A “WORK FOR THE FUTURE” CHRISTIAN?
A handful of years ago, there was a mother who came to me and asked for help raising her teenage son. The boy had been good in school and had a solid group of friends, but he turned to drugs in 12th grade, and became like those who get involved in drugs, a stoned out loser and a drop out.
Okay, well this lady had a middle school daughter, and the two of them began to plug in, grow, get involved (I thought this is awesome, this woman may have lost one child, but she is doing everything right with the next one).
Then one day, they stopped coming. I waited awhile, then called, just to see what was going on. The typical response is “sorry Pastor, we’ve been busy, we’ll get back, thanks for calling.” But NO, this response was different. It was “thanks Pastor for all the help, but as for church we are so done. (Meghan) has plans to do really well in school and go to Harvard (remind you she is still in middle school), and she will need to be free all the time for studies, so we won’t be back.”
What the heck? Honestly though, this happens all the time. Students exchange their “WORK FOR THE FUTURE” for there “WALK WITH THE LORD.” They may not mean to start out that way, but sure enough a lot of times they get there.
Following are some tough questions (use them carefully, use your voice carefully):
Is football more important that your fellowship (5 practices a week and you can’t make 1 youth group)?
Is Stuco more important than your fellowship (lead a school but not the youth group)?
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend more important (so you pray to God for a bf/gf, then quit the group when you get one)?
Now that you broke up with boyfriend/girlfriend, you don’t come anymore (so have you prayed and fasted about NOT coming anymore)?
Baseball every weekend, huh? Is it really EVERY weekend? Is it? So why don’t we see you in winter either?
Video games? What, 20 hours a week on video games, can’t find 2 hours for youth group? And quite honestly, is that really a success? I mean, being good at sports, school, a good bf/gf, at least that makes sense, video games, really?
We as leaders could go on and on, but here’s the point. Is something GOOD in the way of your commitment to the group? If so…well…
3. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A “LONE RANGER” CHRISTIAN?
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another.
Ephesians 5:21 …submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
1 Thes 4:18 Therefore encourage one another with these words…
Leaders, we know we could go on and on and on. Personally, I think if one more person tells me they can worship the Lord alone, by themselves, in a tree, or wherever, I feel like throwing up! Literally, I do.
So here’s the questions that go with this small group question…
Does anyone in the Bible NOT attend a fellowship (only ungodly people, all godly people attend, that may be tough but its true)?
If you “gave your life to the Lord” does that include SHOWING UP? (Imagine giving yourself in marriage to your wife than choosing never to see her).
As a little more a joke here….mention that even the Lone Ranger really isn’t even alone. He has his little Indian friend Tanto. So being a Lone Ranger for Christ is actually like being the Alone Ranger, true.
(PS: more often than not separating yourself out isn’t just an issue of being cute, it’s sin, and it should be dealt with that way, we can’t minimize it).
4. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A “PUFFY” OR “PICKY” CHRISTIAN?
Here’s the scenario. A guy comes over to our house for a home improvement project, we use it as a great chance to witness, so we do. The guy is a pretty fun person to talk with, a Christian, but not plugged into church. We ask why, and he has a pretty sincere answer, he said he was “PICKY” and that he is just unhappy with the churches in the area. He earnestly believed the local churches were NOT carrying out the message of Christ.
Okay, I feel for this guy. I really do, he has a sincere problem. And I have to agree that there are probably a lot of churches in our area that I don’t think I would join either.
But, is “no church is doing right” really a good reason for “not doing it right.” I mean, we are called to fellowship. So though he had a decent and honest excuse, it still is an excuse right? I mean, if he is going to find a perfect church, he may as well move to a country that kills Christians, because only then are the Christians so pure and holy and dedicated because their lives depend on it.
The man said he was “picky.” And I believe that to be true. But I am going to add the word “puffy” to it. Why? I am adding puffy to it because some people don’t join a church because they are BETTER than the church. And people who are full of pride are PUFFED UP, and honestly God needs to humble them (and for their sake I hope they humble themselves first).
5. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A “BURNT OUT COAL” CHRISTIAN?
Some Christians are so far a way from church, that their real reason for not going to a fellowship, is because THEY HAVEN’T GONE FOR SO LONG! I am going to use Pastor Wilkins’ keyword here, and call these people “Burnt Out Coal” Christians.
Here is the illustration:
“A young fellow who was fed up with church went to see this wise old Christian in his cabin to get some advice. He told him all the things that were bothering him about church, an how he felt that he would be better off without the company of other Christians. As he was speaking, the old man silently took the fire tongs and removed a red-hot glowing coal from the middle of the fire and set it on the hearth. The coal glowed for a while, but eventually dimmed and turned black. He let it sit there a while and then took the tongs and places the coal back in the middle of the fire. Within seconds the coal was glowing red hot once again. The young man took the wordless lesson and left determined to stay with church. Just as coals soon burn out when they are removed from the company of other coals, we will not last long in the faith if we are removed from true fellowship.”
This is what wisdom literature scripture says:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
6. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A “NORMAN BATES” CHRISTIAN?
I really don’t want to make much of an example here, because after all the character Norman Bates is a psychotic killer left alone at a roadside motel to take care of his ailing mother (or something like that).
But I did want to point out, that there are some Christians who gaining the knowledge of the whole world and salvation through Jesus Christ, resort to locking themselves up in isolation. Now, I am not calling them Norman Bates, and honestly I don’t even think any group will even bring up this type of Christian here, but this shouldn’t be the case.
I met a guy some years ago, probably 15 now, who was a little bit older, but really listened to the news a ton. This was about the mid 90s, in the middle of cult suicides like Waco, Texas, terrorist attacks in Oklahoma City, and Presidential scandal that doesn’t really (and shouldn’t be) mentioned in youth group.
And this guy, who knew his Bible well and listened to preachers on the radio nonstop, was about the most negative person I have ever met in my life. He pretty much told me that our lives were all about suffering and death (we all agree to suffering so there is some merit). But this guy was extreme, all he kept talking about was death, death, death. According to him, our goal is just to hide and survive. I just don’t agree.
Hopefully, no youth is at this point. But if they are, let’s start some open dialogue because it’s just not healthy.
7. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A “NON-CHRISTIAN”?
MATTHEW 18:18-22
8:18 Now when Jesus saw a large crowd around him, he gave orders to go to the other side of the lake. 8:19 Then an expert in the law came to him and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” 8:20 Jesus said to him, “Foxes have dens, and the birds in the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” 8:21 Another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 8:22 But Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”
Here’s my heart: Put aside all the different silly types of Christians I listed here above. Put aside the Lone Ranger Christian, put aside the Puffy Christian, put it all aside. Now, here is the questions worth answering:
HAVE YOU TOLD THE LORD YOU WILL FOLLOW HIM WHEREVER HE’LL GO?
ARE YOU?
If not, my friend, my dear friend, you have to know. You have to do everything you can to know. Please…
Sources:
Wilkins, Mike. Formative Fellowship, Runnymede Community Church, Lent 2002.