DO NOT EXASPERATE YOUR CHILD
SERIES LESSON #2: EPHESIANS 6
OPEN: Have You Ever Been Frustrated?
Consider this story told by Bernard L. Brown, Jr., president of the Kennestone Regional Health Care System in the state of Georgia. Brown once worked in a hospital where a patient knocked over a cup of water, which spilled on the floor beside the patient’s bed.
The patient was afraid he might slip on the water if he got out of the bed, so he asked a nurse’s aide to mop it up. The patient didn’t know it, but the hospital policy said that small spills were the responsibility of the nurse’s aides while large spills were to be mopped up by the hospital’s housekeeping group. The nurse’s aide decided the spill was a large one and she called the housekeeping department. A housekeeper arrived and declared the spill a small one. An argument followed. "It’s not my responsibility," said the nurse’s aide, "because it’s a large puddle." The housekeeper did not agree. "Well, it’s not mine," she said, "the puddle is too small."
The exasperated patient listened for a time, then took a pitcher of water from his night table and poured the whole thing on the floor. "Is that a big enough puddle now for you two to decide?" he asked. It was, and that was the end of the argument.
BIBLE VERSE: EPHESIANS 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Well, first off, this is tougher to discover than I thought it would be. What do I mean? Well, since I have never ever done a lesson on this topic, AND I have never ever heard a lesson done on this topic, I did some research. So I went to sermoncentral.com, which is a great place to look up sermon topics.
It has 120,000 sermons…but 0 on “what does it mean to exasperate your child.”
So I went to gotquestions.org, checked into that, and you know what I found out?
In 305,000 Bible questions answered…still 0.
So this topic is going to be tougher to cover than you think.
HOW DOES JOHN MACARTHUR ANSWER THE QUESTION?
According to Bible Q&A, John MacArthur states that parents, not just dads, can exasperate their child in any number of ways. Listed below is some specific examples detailed deliberately off of his radio show.
Bible Q&A with John MacArthur.
Absence of Love.
Never listening to your child.
Live your own fantasies through your child
Unfair pressures on your child to perform.
Set child up for failure by unreasonable expectations.
Unfair discipline.
Harshness, abuse.
Trying to make your child into some type of star so the light will shine brighter on you.
You could go on and on and on.
EXASPERATE=PROVOKE. Meaning, to exasperate is the deliberate attempt to provoke your child into a fight, an argument, into a hole that force combat to get out of, to put a wedge between divorced parents, to split love away from Mom towards Dad or vice versa, anything that causes division. If we are honest, we would have to admit that this happens to ALL DADS, hopefully by accident. But it should be something that we try to avoid.
Definition of Provoke:
verb (used with object)
1. to irritate or provoke to a high degree; annoy extremely: He was exasperated by the senseless delays.
2. Archaic . to increase the intensity or violence of (disease, pain, feelings, etc.).
Bodyguard Story with Tackleberry: When I wore a younger man’s clothes, back in my college days, when I was a lean and mean college football players, I spent my summers working security for various places in and around Milwaukee. One night I was given a specific partner who we had nicknamed Tackleberry (which was a reference to a crazy character off of a movie series called Police Academy, he was crazy), and so was this guy. One time, he and I were dealing with a guy, escorting him out of the park, and for this entire 10 minute walk, Tack just shouted and yelled and hollered and intimidated this guy to a point past frustration. Later on our way back to our duty place, a rock was thrown from the parking lot that just missed Tack’s face, things got interesting after that. But, my point is that Tackleberry exasperated this guy beyond imagination.
For clarification purposes, here is the similar verse to the one were using, from just about every translation imaginable (my point here is to teach the words similar to exasperate for clarification purposes).
BIBLE VERSE: COLOSSIONS 3:21
New International Version (©1984)
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
New Living Translation (©2007) Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.
English Standard Version (©2001) Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
New American Standard Bible (©1995) Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
International Standard Version (©2008) Fathers, do not make your children resentful. Otherwise, they'll become discouraged.
Aramaic Bible in Plain English (©2010) Parents, do not anger your children, lest they lose heart.
GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995) Fathers, don't make your children resentful, or they will become discouraged.
King James 2000 Bible (©2003) Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
American King James Version Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
American Standard Version Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged.
Douay-Rheims Bible Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged.
Darby Bible Translation Fathers, do not vex your children, to the end that they be not disheartened.
English Revised Version Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged.
Webster's Bible Translation Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Weymouth New Testament Fathers, do not fret and harass your children, or you may make them sullen and morose.
World English Bible Fathers, don't provoke your children, so that they won't be discouraged.
Transitioning from exasperation to a contrast to Students frustration with their time management.
FOLLOWING ARE SOME STORIES ABOUT FRUSTRATION (THE REASON FOR DOING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT TO POINT OUT THAT A LOT OF OUR LIVES FRUSTRATION COMES FROM OUR OWN MISHANDLING OF OUR TIME):
Psalm 23 satire about time…
The clock is my dictator, I shall not rest. It makes me lie down only when exhausted. It leads me into deep depression. It hounds my soul. It leads me in circles of frenzy, for activities sake. Even though I run frantically from task to task, I will never get it all done, For my ideal is with me. Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me. They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule. They anoint my head with migraines, My in-basket overflows. Surely fatigue and time pressures shall follow me All the days of my life. And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration Forever
Animals Stuck by Frustration:
THE BUZZARD If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6’ x 8’ and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10-12’. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will! not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
THE BAT The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkably nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and painfully until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
THE BUMBLEBEE A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler! , will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.
PEOPLE In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up. Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but faith looks up. Live simply, love generously, care deeply, and speak kindly. May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door unknwn
BIG TIME QUESTION:
Have the students fill out the following questions based on their time…
How much time do you spend each week:
Sleeping __________________
Watching TV __________________
At School __________________
On Computer __________________
Eating __________________
Texting __________________
Household Stuff __________________
Reading Bible __________________
Friends, dear friends, if we are spending more time texting, playing on the computer, or watching TV than reading the Bible…well…why do you think you might be spiritually frustrated?
*For the record, the actual hours people spend daily is listed in the appendix in the extra session of this lesson.
Sources:
Bits & Pieces , September 16, 1993, p. 22-24. Found at ChristianGlobe.com
Budd, Merv. Illustration from sermoncentral.com.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/exasperate?fromRef=true
EXTRAS:
On an "average day" in 2003, persons in the U.S. age 15 and over slept about 8.6 hours, spent 5.1 hours doing leisure and sports activities, worked for 3.7 hours, and spent 1.8 hours doing household activities. During the remaining 4.8 hours, Americans ate, drank, went to school and shopped. So, say the results of the first American Time Use Survey (ATUS) conducted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).
While BLS has long produced statistics about the labor market, such as employment, hours, and earnings, the ATUS marks the first time that a federal statistical agency has produced estimates on how Americans spend another critical resource--their time. The ATUS collects data on the activities people do during the day and how much time they spend doing them.
Some highlights from the ATUS include:
On the days that they worked, employed men worked about an hour more than employed women--8.0 versus 7.1 hours.
Employed adult women (18 years and over) spent about an hour more per day than employed adult men doing household activities and caring for household members.
On days that they worked, about 1 in 5 employed persons did some or all of their work at home.
Adults in households without children spent about 1.4 hours more per day engaged in leisure and sports activities than those with children.
To compile the ATUS, the Census Bureau interviewed of about 21,000 individuals beginning in January 2003. Respondents were interviewed only once and reported their activities for the 24-hour period from 4 a.m. on the day before the interview until 4 a.m. on the day of the interview--their "diary day." If respondents reported doing more than one activity at a time, they were asked to identify which activity was primary. Activities were then grouped into categories for analysis.
For example:
Household Activities
On an average day in 2003, 84 percent of women and 63 percent of men spent some time doing household activities, such as housework, cooking, lawn care, or financial and other household management.
Twenty percent of men reported doing housework--such as cleaning or doing laundry--compared with 55 percent of women. About 35 percent of men did food preparation or cleanup versus 66 percent of women.
Women who reported doing household activities on the diary day spent about 2.8 hours on such activities while men spent 2.1 hours.
Leisure Activities
On an average day in 2003, nearly everyone (96 percent) age 15 and over reported some sort of leisure or sports activity, such as watching TV, socializing, or exercising. Including the small proportion of the population that reported no leisure activities, men spent more time doing leisure activities (5.4 hours) than women (4.8 hours).
Watching TV was the leisure activity that occupied the most time, accounting for about half of leisure time on average for both men and women. Socializing, such as visiting with friends or attending or hosting social events, was the next most common leisure activity, accounting for about three-quarters of an hour per day for both sexes.
Speaking of sex, that activity was counted as a "personal care" category, rather than a leisure activity, and not reported in the survey.
[Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics]