Summary: God has told the followers of Christ to put on their new uniform. He told us how to put off the old self through the power of Jesus’ death & then to keep our eyes on Jesus. Here we find God’s new clothing for each Christian who participates with Him in

COLOSSIANS 3: 12-17

GOD’S PROPOSAL FOR NEW LIFE

Before Ken Robinson became a pastor he served as a police officer. He said people treated him differently when he was in uniform that when he was off duty and wearing plain clothes. Something about the badge and the “blues” gained him instant respect and authority.

He was often addressed as "Sir." When he told people something, they believed him. And when he gave an order, they were quick to obey. Robinson concluded, “I guess the clothes made the difference.” Then he added, when in uniform, I acted with more confidence.”

God has told the followers of Christ to put on their new uniform. He told us how to put off the old self through the power of Jesus’ death and then to keep our eyes on Jesus. Now we are told in our passage for today what kind of new clothing we are to put on.

God has given each Christian the responsibility for putting off the life of the old self by the power of His death. But once we place our minds on Christ and the eternal and start getting rid of the crud, what do we replace it with? Is there a new life that we must put on also? Or must I wait until eternity to experience the benefits of the new life, the born again life, that is given us in Christ? There are eternal blessing provided here for those who will put off the old self and put on the character of the new man. All these characteristics are offered to each person who has accepted Christ and decided to live in the power of the new life, in the power of the Resurrection of Christ. Here we find God’s new clothing for each Christian who participates with Him in the new pattern of life.

I. GOD’S APPAREL FOR NEW LIFE, 12-14.

II. GOD’ PROVISION FOR NEW LIFE, 15-16.

III. GOD’S PATTERN FOR NEW LIFE, 17.

In verses 8-9 Paul listed six vices (anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and lying). Now in contrast to the fallen way of the old man, Christians are to put on the virtues of the new man, the born again man.

What we wear is important if we want to look our best. Besides, when we feel that we look good, we go through the day with more energy and confidence. The Lord Jesus cares about what we wear, but He is more concerned about what our spiritual clothing. Colossians 3:12 lists some of the virtues with which we should clothe ourselves every morning. “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;”

Christians as the chosen of God [ἐκλετός, 2 Tim. 1:9] have the responsibility to live a godly life. God has a plan for each who response to the initiative of His grace. Those chosen of God (Rom. 8:33; Titus 1:1) are holy and beloved in God’s eyes. We are now different from the world. Just as the marriage ceremony sets apart a man and woman for each other exclusively, so salvation sets the believer apart exclusively for Jesus Christ. It would be a horrible thing if at the end of a wedding the groom ran off with the maid of honor. It is just as horrible if the Christian runs from God to love the world and the flesh. When believers fail to act differently than the world, they violate the very purpose of their calling.

Believers are beloved of God which means they are special recipients of His agape love. God’s love involves Him doing what is eternally best for us though not necessarily what we desire or what is easiest. It is a commitment to remain true to us, in all the circumstances of our life. As we begin to return God’s love we will grow in our obedience to Him and mature (come closer) in our walk with Him. Though God loves each of us just as we are, His love motivates us to respond to Him by becoming who He would have us be and doing what He would have us do.

The Bible then calls believers to take decisive action. We are to put on [imperative] or clothe ourselves (endysasthe from enduo) in the virtues of God’s loving grace. Because we have “put on (endysamenoi) the new self” (v. 10), we should live according to the traits (attributes) and attitudes of the born again person.

Jesus promised His disciples they would be clothed with power from on high (Luke 24:49). All the following virtues are planted and grow in the new heart, or in the inner man. Compassion (splanchna oiktirmou) is the first character trait that is to mark the new man. Believers must not be indifferent to suffering, but should be concerned about people’s needs. We are to live in another’s skin, feel what he is going through.

Compassion was certainly characteristic of Jesus. He was so moved with compassion for people that He wept for them (Luke 19:41). He was so concerned about the poor that He fed them. He was so concerned about the sick that He healed them. Based on Christ’s example, Christians should be the greatest helpers of the poor, hurt, blind, sick, and needy.

Kindness [χρηστότητα] is closely related to compassion. It is meeting the needs of people on whom we have compassion. It is benevolence in action (2 Cor. 6:6). The Greek term refers to the grace that seeks to touch the whole person, taking the edge off their harsh reality. [Jesus used the word when he said, “My yoke is easy” (Mt. 11:30), not harsh or hard to bear. The kind person is as concerned about his neighbor’s good as he is about his own. God is kind, even to ungrateful and evil people (Luke 6:35). In fact, it was His kindness that led us to repentance (Rom. 2:4; Titus 3:4). Jesus’ kindness was expressed in His invitation to “take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest-for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light” (Mt. 11:29–30).] Kindness was exemplified by the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25–37), who bound the wounds of an enemy, took him to an inn, and spent a good amount of money so that the man could be cared for properly. It is an example we should follow. [Colossians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary. Chicago: Moody, 1986.] [Sympathy is sorry for pain, empathy feels your pain, kindness helps stop the pain.]

Humility (tapeinophrosune) enables kindness for it allows us to accept people as they are. Humility had a negative connotation in NT times and still does to the prideful and domination pursuing age of ours. [H. H. Esser, “tapeinos,” in Colin Brown, ed., The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1977, 2:259]. Humility comes from experiencing the greatness of God and realizing that we become who we need to be only by His grace. Christ and Christianity elevated humility to a virtue. It is the antidote for the self-love that poisons relationships. Jesus Christ is the great example of humility (Phil. 2:1ff; Mt. 11:29), and it is to be a common and cherished Christian virtue (Eph. 4:2; Phil. 2:3ff.; 1 Pet. 5:5).

Gentleness (prautes) is the opposite of rough and ungracious and is closely related to humility. It is not weakness, but rather the willingness to suffer injury instead of inflicting it. Meekness is strength under control. “The word was used to describe a soothing wind, a healing medicine, and a colt that had been broken. In each instance, there is power: a wind can become a storm; too much medicine can kill; a horse can break loose. But meekness is power under control.” [Wiersbe, Bible Exposition Com. Victor Books. Wheaton, IL. 138] We become meek when we place ourselves and our situations under God’s will. When we do so we do not need to control others.

Roy Stedman said: “It is real strength, but it does not have to display itself or show off how strong it is.” The gentle person knows he is a sinner among sinners and is willing to suffer the abuse other sinners may impose on him.

[Second Timothy 2:24-25 says, "The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition."]

Patience or forebearance translates makrothumia which means self-restraint, a steady response in the face of provocation (Col. 1:11). The patient person does not get angry at others. It is the spirit which doesn’t let mankind’s foolishness and unteachability drive it to cynicism or despair; nor let their insults and ill treatment drive one to bitterness or wrath. [William Barclay, The Letters to the Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians. Louisville: Westminster, 1975. p. 158]. Patience is the opposite of resentment and revenge. Patience is putting up with those the flesh wants to put down. [It was a characteristic of Jesus Christ. Paul wrote to Timothy, “For this reason I found mercy, in order that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience, as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life” (1 Tim 1:16).] Were it not for God’s patience with us, no one would ever be saved (2 Pet. 3:15).

Practicing the virtues listed in verse 12 makes the actions listed in verse 13 possible. “bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Bearing with one another means “to endure, to hold out in spite of persecution, threats, injury, indifference, or complaints and not retaliating.” It characterized Paul, who told the Corinthians, “when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure” (1 Cor. 4:12). It did not characterize the Corinthians, who were actually taking each other to court. Paul exclaims, “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?” (1 Cor. 6:7). Believers are to exhibit forbearance (Eph. 4:2). [Such were the Thessalonians, of whom Paul wrote, “We ourselves speak proudly of you among the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in the midst of all your persecutions and afflictions which you endure [anexomai, the same term used in 3:13; 2 Thess. 1:4].

This attitude can be summarized by what Peter says about Christ in 1 Peter 2:23: “While being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously." It is a beautiful characteristic to be able to endure under hardship or difficulty.

Believers are to be marked not only by endurance, but also by forgiving each other. [The Greek charizomenoi literally means “to be gracious” and the text uses a reflexive pronoun, so it literally reads, “forgiving yourselves.”] The church as a whole is to be a gracious, mutually forgiving fellowship.

Studies by a number of psychologists show that it is not great riches that make people happy, but FRIENDS AND FORGIVENESS. Commenting on these findings in a USA Today article, Marilyn Elias says, "The happiest people surround themselves with family and friends, don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses next door, lose themselves in daily activities, and most important, forgive easily."

University of Michigan psychologist Christopher Peterson says that the ability to forgive others is the trait most strongly linked to happiness. He calls it "the queen of all virtues, and probably the hardest to come by."

An unforgiving spirit is often the last emotional fortress we yield to the power of God. Even as Christians, we may cling to anger and bitterness, feeling that those who have wronged us should suffer for their offenses. But when We realize how much God has forgiven us, We are compelled to extend mercy to others. The Bible urges us to forgive even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” [David McCasland, Our Daily Bread]

The phrase whoever has a complaint against anyone refers to times when someone is at fault because of sin, error, or debt. Grudges have no place in a Christian’s life for they may lead to the sins previously mentioned (Colossians 3:8-9). OLD JOE was dying. For years he had been at odds with Bill, formerly one of his best friends. Wanting to straighten things out, he sent word for Bill to come and see him. When Bill arrived, Joe told him that he was afraid to go into eternity with such a bad feeling between them. Then, very reluctantly and with great effort, Joe apologized for things he had said and done. He also assured Bill that he forgave him for his offenses. Everything seemed fine until Bill turned to go. As he walked out of the room, Joe called out after him, "But, remember, if I get better, this doesn’t count!"

Isn’t that a picture of the way we often treat one another! The forgiveness we offer is superficial, and it is given with a selfish motive. We say that we forgive, but when the least little friction arises, how quick we are to resurrect past grievances. We

like to "bury the hatchet" with the handle sticking out. That way we can easily pick it up again and use it to our advantage.

The thought on forgiveness includes the phrase just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Christ is the model of forgiveness (Eph. 4:32). Because He has forgiven us, so also must we forgive others (Mt. 18:21–35).The Lord Jesus is our pattern for forgiveness, because He forgave all our sins, errors, and debts. He is also the model for the rest of the virtues discussed in this section.

Sometimes we find it HARD TO FORGIVE others. C. S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” We know it isn’t right to harbor grudges, but it’s a struggle to look past the mistreatment we have endured. When we don’t forgive, though, our service for the Lord dwindles, our joy diminishes, and our fellowship with the Lord and others suffers. Praise God, there is a solution! If we reflect on how much God has forgiven us, we’ll find it easier to forgive those who have hurt us.

A Canadian named Macdonald Dubh learned this lesson early in his Christian life. At the time of his salvation, his heart was filled with hateful and vengeful thoughts toward a man who had shamefully mistreated him. But on the day he placed his trust in Christ, he thought only about his own sins. He came to the Lord with a broken heart and contrite spirit. The thought of how he had been wronged didn’t enter his mind. Soon afterward, the man who had led him to the Lord made another visit and talked to Dubh about his responsibility to forgive the one who had cruelly mistreated him. With tears in his eyes, the new Christian responded, "Oh, it’s a little thing. It’s a little thing, for I have been forgiven so much!"

When it seems you can’t forgive remember how much you’ve been forgiven. Freely we have been forgiven; let us freely forgive.

When we forgive someone we’re not minimizing the harm they caused nor condoning the sin they’ve committed. We simply choosing to place the offense into the nail-scarred hands of Jesus.

Have you been mistreated, misunderstood, or maligned? Do thoughts of revenge come to your mind? If so, start reflecting on how much Christ has forgiven you! You’ll find it hard to hold a grudge. You’ll be delivered from a bitter spirit. You’ll lose your desire to get even. "Even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do."

Lord, let me turn the other cheek as You so often did. If our sinless Lord is willing to forgive us -with all our faults-how can we withhold pardon from those who have sinned against us?

Verse 14 indicates the most important of all Christian virtues. “Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

Over all these virtues Christians are to put on love. These virtues must flow from love, which in turn is a fruit of the Spirit-filled life (Gal. 5:22). Love is the spirit of self-sacrifice that only the Spirit of God can produce in your life when you walk in Him. Love is what lashes all these virtues together and bonds them together in our heart. Nothing is acceptable to God if not motivated by love (1 Cor. 13:1–3), including knowledge (Phil. 1:9), faith (Gal. 5:6), and obedience (John 14:15). As Paul wrote elsewhere, “The greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13). In this catalog of virtues love is the binding and cover, because it is of supreme importance. It is the perfect bond, holding them all together in perfect unity. Love is the beauty of the believer, dispelling the ugly sins of the flesh that destroy unity.

If an athletic team is going to succeed, there must be a bond of unity among its members. In the words of legendary football coach VINCE LOMBARDI, "If you’re going to play together as a team, you’ve got to love each other.” He added, “The difference between mediocrity and greatness is the feeling these guys have for one another."

Long before football existed, Justin Martyr gave an eloquent defense of Christianity. In writing to the emperor or of Rome, he explained the dramatic transformation Christ brings to believers: "Before we became Christians... we used to value above all else money and possessions; now we bring together all we have and share it with those who are in need. Formerly, we hated and killed one another. .. Now. . .we all live in peace. We pray for our enemies and seek to win over those who hate us unjustly."

The same Christ-centered change is to be evident in Christians today. Before we can reach out in love to our unsaved friends and neighbors, we must demonstrate God’s love to our fellow believers in Christ. It’s His commandment to us (1 Jn. 4:20-21) and it’s the best way to show the world the difference love makes. Love is the magnet that draws believers together and attracts unbelievers to Christ (Jn. 17: ).

II. PROMISED PROVISION OF NEW LIFE, 15-16.

Verse 15 admonish us to let Christ’s peace rule our hearts and church. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Believers are also to let the peace of Christ rule in their hearts because they are called to peace as members of one body. The closer believers are to Christ (and His likeness), the closer they are to each other. In interpersonal relationships “peace” (God-given tranquility and well-being) should rule [brabeuetō, “arbitrate, decide every debate, umpire”; used only here in the NT, kata-brabeuetō, “decide against,” 2:18]. Christ’s followers who have put on the virtues listed (3:12-14), are not concerned about disputing everything or controlling every thing, but with following Christ. They are concerned with letting His peace rule in their hearts and in their church.

What rules your heart? What determines what you do & how you will act in life - in church? What rules the heart of FBC Bluegrass? What things were ruling in the hearts of those in the church at Colosse?

Prior to Paul’s letter there wasn’t much of the peace of Christ going around. Why was that? Well, they were listening more to man that to God. Obeying man doesn’t bring real peace, peace with God.

This peace is called the peace of Christ because it is the peace only He can bring. Believers were called to live in peace in one body. Individuals who have peace with Christ and in their own hearts will live in unity and harmony with each other.

Christians are to be thankful people (Phil. 4:6; Col. 1:12; 3:16-17; 4:2; 1 Thess. 5:18).

To maintain a peaceful heart one has to be thankful. An attitude of gratitude contributes to an enjoyment of spiritual tranquility, whereas grumbling makes for inner and outer agitation.

Thankfulness is a constant theme in Colossians (1:3, 12; 2:7; 3:15, 16, 17; 4:2). Gratitude comes naturally to believers in response to all God has done (Eph. 5:20; Phil. 4:6; 1 Thess. 5:18; Heb. 13:15), whereas ingratitude marks unbelievers (Rom. 1:21). A spirit of humble gratitude toward God will inevitably affect our relations with others. Peace and gratitude are closely linked.

Paul concludes this look at the qualities that should mark the lifestyle of the new man by giving three priorities for our heart. The new man is concerned with the peace of Christ, the word of Christ, and the name of Christ.

Verse 16 teaches us that a heart full of grace is a heart where Christ’s word is overflowing. “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

The new life Christians must “put on” is one in which the Word of Christ dwells richly. Christ’s words were recorded by Spirit-guided apostles (John 14:26; 16:13; 20:31). The words of the Bible [God’s written Word] are to dwell in believers. Dwell [is from enoikeo and] means “to live in,” or “to be at home.” Paul calls upon believers to let the Word take up residence and be at home in their lives. That is, by study, meditation, and application of the Word, it becomes a permanent abiding part of one’s life. Love, peace, and thankfulness, as well as unity, and all the required virtues, flow from a heart and mind filled with and controlled by Scripture.

God’s word is supposed to dwell in me. From time to time, I have had persons come to my house and spend some time there. They have stayed overnight or even for a few nights. Some of my family has come. Some of Lori’s family has come. Friends of my children have stayed in my home. All of these persons were guests. There is a difference between a guest and someone who dwells in a home. A guest is not a permanent resident. A dweller is. A guest comes and goes according to what is convenient for him and for his host. A dweller remains regardless of the circumstances.

Richly (plousios) could also be translated “abundantly or extravagantly rich.” The truths of Scripture should permeate every aspect of the believer’s life and govern every thought, word, and deed. The Word dwells in us when we hear it (Mt. 13:9), handle it (2 Tim. 2:15), hide it (Ps. 119:11), and hold it fast (Phil. 2:16). To do those things, the Christian must read, study, and live the Word.

To let the word of Christ richly dwell is to be accomplished by being filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:18). The Word in the heart and mind is the handle by which the Spirit turns the will. It is clear that these two concepts are identical because the passages that follow each are so similar.

Paul then mentions two specific results of the Word of Christ dwelling in the believer, one positive and the other negative: with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another. Teaching is the impartation of positive truth about what we are supposed to believe and know. Admonishing is the negative side of teaching. It means to warn people about the wrong beliefs they hold and the consequences of their behavior as a result of these wrong beliefs. They are the result of a life overflowing with the Word of Christ.

Both of those are my responsibility as a pastor. But Paul wasn’t writing to a pastor here. He was writing to the church as a whole. Each of us have a responsibility to teach other persons including our children, fellow Christians, and others with whom we are in contact. We have a responsibility to warn them. That’s not always easy. But it is necessary. If you’re in a BURNING BUILDING, I have a responsibility to do everything I can to warn you to get out. And you will probably be glad that I warned you. But why is it that I don’t also see the responsibility that I have to prevent you from being burned by sin? And if I do warn you, why is it that you take offense?

The way that you know what to teach and the way that you recognize when to warn is by filling yourself full of Christ’s word. That’s what gives you the wisdom to see the smoke, recognize the difference between the smoke of a fireplace and the smoke of a fire, and then the wisdom to go and bang on the door of someone’s heart until they open up to you and get out of the danger that they’re in.

Through this Spirit-filled kind of life (Eph. 5:18-19), Christians can teach (instruct) and admonish (“counsel”) one another; if it is done with all wisdom (sophia; 1:9; 2:3; 4:5) and not tactlessly (Gal. 6:1).

Having the Word of Christ richly dwell in us produces not only wise knowledge and healthy relationships, but also praise. It generates psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, and singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Psalms were taken from the Old Testament psalter, the book of Psalms. They sang psalms put to music, much as we do today. Hymns were expressions of praise to God. It is thought that some portions of the New Testament (Such as Col. 1:15–20 and Phil. 2:6–11) were originally hymns sung in the early church. Spiritual songs emphasized testimony (Rev. 5:9–10). They express in song what God has done for us [Colossians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary. Chicago: Moody, 1986.] like today’s choruses.

III. GOD’S PATTERN FOR NEW LIFE, 17.

Verse 17 gives additional results of letting the Word of Christ dwell in you richly. “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Whatever we do (v. 23), in the church or in the world—for there is no sacred-secular split in God’s eyes for He is Sovereign over all. The simplest, most basic rule of thumb for living the Christian life is to do everything, in the name of the Lord Jesus. Whether in word or deed (by lip or life) all should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, i.e., in His character and for His glory. That is “in harmony with His revealed will, in subjection to His authority, in dependence on His power” [Hendriksen, W. The NT Com. Phil. Phile. Col. Baker.].

To do everything in the name of Jesus is to act consistently with who He is and what He wants. Paul expressed the same thought in 1 Corinthians 10:31: “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” The world crowns success; God crowns faithfulness!

I have learned much about the conscious remembrance of God from Brother Lawrence, a cook in a 17th century monastery. In his Book The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence mentioned practical ways to "offer God your heart from time to time in the course of the day," even in the midst of chores such, as cooking or repairing shoes. Lawrence said one’s depth of spirituality does not depend on changing things you do but rather changing your motive-doing for God what you ordinarily do for yourself.

One of his eulogies said, "The good Brother found God everywhere, as much while he was repairing shoes as -while he was praying. . . . It was God, not the task, he had in view. He knew that the more the task was against his natural inclinations, the greater was his love in offering it to God."

At times we’re called to do tasks that go against our natural inclinations. As we tackled the less desirable duties, reminded yourself to keep God and His glory in view. With effort, even the most difficult tasks can be performed and presented as an offering to God. Duty alone is drudgery; duty with love is delight.

The puritans believed that God cares more about the spirit in which we live that the concrete results. Pleasing God doesn’t mean we must busy ourselves with a new set of "spiritual" activities. As the Puritans said, whether cleaning house or preaching sermons, shoeing horses or translating the Bible, any human activity may constitute an offering to God.

We spend much time immersed in the mundane. Caring for an elderly parent. Cleaning up after a child. Sitting on a porch with a neighbor. Fielding a customer’s complaint. Filling out patient charts at a nurses’ station. Sitting in traffic. Sawing lumber. Reporting tips. Shopping for groceries. Do it as unto the Lord. Daily work takes on eternal value when it is done for God.

God sees our faithfulness in the things we do. Though we may think our deeds-big and small-sometimes go unnoticed, they are being observed by the ONE who matters most. Whatever our task, let’s "do all in the name of the Lord Jesus"

Not only is whatever we do to be done for His glory, we are to live with a thankful spirit (Phil. 4:6; 1 Thess. 5:18). All we do is to be done without reluctance or despair or legalistic duty, but with giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Three times in three verses Paul mentioned thankfulness: “be thankful” (Col. 3:15) “sing . . . with gratitude” (v. 16), and give thanks to God the Father (v. 17). [Walvoord, John; Zuck, Roy. Bible Knowledge Commentary. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985, p. 682]

Are you a grateful person?

CONCLUSION / Time of Response

Paul has told the Colossians what Christ can do for them. He knew that if they saw the potential of their new self, and not just their problems, they could dare to live a life that pleases God. The proposal for the new life is nothing less that Jesus living His life in and through you and me. Believers should so clothe themselves with Jesus Christ that when people look at them, they see Christ. For the goal of the Christian life is Christlikeness.

Have you received the gift of new life? Have you received the gift of the life of God living in you? Have you let God forgive you and heal your hurts and memories of the past? Have you experienced His deep love for you? Do you know of the peace of Christ?

Do you feel compassion and act in humility with kindness toward people?

Are you free from having to impress people with yourself?

Is praise a part of your daily routine?

Is thanksgiving flowing from you heart to God? To others?

Don’t keep the thanks inside. Let it spill over the sides and run down into the saucer. Then, your attitude of gratitude will not only affect you and your outlook on life, but it will also affect the people around you.