Summary: 8 steps to help you become a bitter woman

I want to begin today with a story. It is the story of a businessman in Chicago whose name was H. G. Spafford. He was a dedicated Christian who, like us all, at times made earthly and unspiritual decisions. He had some serious financial reversals and he lost his home. He realized his family needed to get away for a vacation. Spafford decided to take his family to England. He sent his wife and four daughters ahead. In mid-ocean the French steamer carrying his loved ones collided with another and sank within 12 minutes; costing the lives of 230 people. The 4 daughters drowned, but his wife was rescued. She wired her husband, “Saved alone.”

Spafford was overcome by grief. He had lost his property, his 4 daughters, and his grief stricken wife was alone on the other side of the world. He took the next steamer to England to be with her.

His story parallels the story in scripture that we look at today.

It is the story of Naomi found in the Book of Ruth.

Naomi was a pleasant woman. In fact that was the meaning of her name. She was well loved, a woman that other women admired. She was well known in her community, recognizable by her cheerful attitude.

But a famine came upon the land. Her husband feeling the responsibility for his family’s welfare decided to uproot them and move to a more prosperous place instead of depending on God to see them through. So Naomi said her goodbyes to her friends and along with her 2 sons followed her husband into Moab.

His choice of location was not soundly made. Moab was a land settled by the descendants of Lot. Although relatives of Abraham, they were not part of the “promised people” of God, the Israelites. Moab was to be placed under a curse for their idol worship.

Isaiah 25:10 “For the Lord’s hand of blessing will rest on Jerusalem. But Moab will be crushed.

It will be like straw trampled down and left to rot.”

He had left the land of blessing for the land that would be trampled down. After some time there he died and Naomi was left with her two sons. They married Moabite women, which also was not acceptable to God.

Deuteronomy 23:3 “No Ammonite or Moabite or any of their descendants for ten generations may be admitted to the assembly of the Lord. As long as you live, you must never promote the welfare and prosperity of the Ammonites or Moabites.”

After 10 years both of her sons died, leaving her with her 2 daughter-in-laws. She felt alone.

Then she heard the news that the famine had ended, so she and her 2 daughter-in-laws packed to leave to return to her homeland. But as they traveled toward Judah, she decided to send them home. She thanked them for their kindness, she blessed them, she kissed them goodbye, and she wept with them.

First they both refused but after some sound argument she convinced one to leave. The other clung tightly to her. This one was Ruth. When Naomi saw Ruth’s determination she allowed her to go.

Let’s look at her homecoming.

Ruth 1:19-20 “So the two of them continued on their journey. When they came to Bethlehem, the entire town was excited by their arrival. “Is it really Naomi?” the women asked.

“Don’t call me Naomi,” she responded. “Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me.”

I find it interesting that the entire town is excited about her return. It has been more than 10 years since she left but that pleasant, cheerful, smiling woman has not been forgotten. People must spoke kindly of her, sharing wonderful stories. Now here she is and they can’t believe it. “Is it really you?”

But maybe they ask because there is something different about her. Maybe the smile has been replaced by a frown. Maybe they sense coldness in her they have never seen before.

Boy, does she set them straight. “Don’t call me pleasant! Call me bitter”

The circumstances and the years have changed her. She has become bitter. What lead her to this place of bitterness? And how can you get there?

1) Reject others.

Withdraw from those around you. Become indifferent to the problems of others. Think of only yourself. Naomi only concentrated on her loss. She gave no thought to Ruth who had loss her husband to death with no children to comfort her. She tried to cast Ruth aside leaving her to fend for herself with a people she had rejected by marrying an Israelite.

2) Reject God.

Naomi blamed God for the acts of her husband. She, in her faithfulness, followed her husband to a foreign land. “God made by life bitter. God brought me home empty. God caused me to suffer. God has sent tragedy upon me.” It wasn’t God who sent to a land where she would lose everything, where she would suffer, where tragedy would strike. It was the circumstances of life that did so. What she didn’t concentrate on was the statement she made “The LORD has brought me home.”

3) Reject the Word

Naomi knew she served a God dedicated to the protection of his people. She had the promises found in the Torah and oral law. She knew that He had promised; Leviticus 26:12 I will walk among you; I will be your God, and you will be my people.

She was his daughter but she rejected him in her time of need.

4) Reject Grace

Jesus said “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Through his grace he has given us the comfort of knowing in all of our trials and sorrows we will become victors. God protected Naomi and gave her a loving companion in the form of Ruth. But in her bitterness she rejected his grace. In doing so she also rejected his peace. She could not see beyond her bitterness the possibilities of God’s plan for her life.

5) Reject Life

Job 21:25 “Another person dies in bitter poverty,

never having tasted the good life.” Bitterness will erase all the good times that you have had in life. Naomi had forgotten her friend’s loyalty and love although they had clung to those wonderful memories for years. She didn’t remember the dedication of a daughter-in-law that would not allow her to suffer alone. All she focused on was her “bitter poverty”.

6) Reject Comfort

Naomi could have been sitting with Job when he said “I am disgusted with my life. Let me complain freely. My bitter soul must complain” (Job 10:1). She was not rejoicing in returning home. Others were happy to see her but she was disgusted with her life and felt compelled to complain. It was her right.

7) Reject Your Ministry

It was obvious that Naomi had a positive influence on everyone around her. She gave no regard to how her actions would influence others. Those who rejoiced in her return would soon avoid her due to her bitterness. No one likes to be around a complainer. The complaints would become frustrating. They might say “Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.” (Proverbs 27:16)

8) Reject Who You Are

God is in the name changing business. That is what whitestone ministry is founded on- “helping others discover their victory and true identity in Jesus”. God changed Abram (high father) to Abraham (the father of many nations). He changed Jacob (the deciever) to Israel (God contended). Simon (god has heard) to Peter (rock). But here we find a person changing who God has called them to be to a name reflecting their own self-pity, from “pleasant” to “bitter.” Self pity is the final step to becoming a bitter woman.

We all have probably had someone in mind as we listened today. Pray for that person. Perhaps you saw your own reflection. Turn to Jesus for healing. But be sure you don’t take that path to bitterness.

H. G. Spafford could have. He could have been bitter over losing his wealth and his daughters. He could have tried to get even with the owners of the French steamer by filling a lawsuit. He could have gotten mad at God and shook his fist at the heavens in defiance. Instead at the very place where he lost his daughters on the open sea he wrote a song. The words are as follows;

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.