Turning Our Homes Into Something Better “Encouraging One Another”
Exodus 17:8-13 and Ephesians 4:25-32
Today we are in the final teaching on Turning Our Homes Into Something Better. Pastor Kellie started us off with “Dealing With Attitudes”, Pastor Toby last week preached on “Sharing The Load” and today I am speaking on “Encouraging One Another.” I’ll be trying to bring all three of the messages together in a final wrap up. You can watch or listen to the other messages on the website or on your smartphone. You can also watch us on Roku.
Think for a moment. When was the last time you were in a situation in which you did something and you really didn’t know if you had done it right or had done it well enough. Then somebody came along and said, “you did a good job on that.” When they said it, it gives you the power to breathe out with a sigh of relief. What you had just received was a word of encouragement. A word of encouragement pumps us up with a new found energy.
Words are powerful. Encouraging words can lift us up to new levels of possibilities. How many of us could use more words of encouragement in our homes? In our homes, we want people to do their best. We want them to do what’s right. We want them to succeed. Children want their parents to be the best parents in the world. Parents want their children to be the best they can be. Husbands want their wives to be the greatest thing that ever happened to them. Wives want their husbands to be their knights in shining armor. Kids just want to get along with each other.
So what is it that goes wrong to keep us from enjoying each other in the home?. Well we saw in the first week that that some of us needed some attitude adjustments. We saw last week that some of us were not doing our share of the load. The big mistake that we often make is that we try to get others to change, by using the wrong kind of words.
In most of our houses, there is a rule against using bad words. The only problem is, we don’t always recognize bad words when we hear them or more importantly when we say them. Oh we recognize curse words. As a matter of fact some of us will go ballistic, if one of our kids used a curse word while talking to us. I agree that noboby in the house should be using curse words, and four letter words, and the like. But as Christians, there are other bad words that violate the word of God, that we will use all the time.
In our New Testament reading, it says this “Ephesians 4:29-30 (NIV)
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Unwholesome talk, not only includes curse words, but any words that do not build others up according to their needs. So if I called you a “stupid idiot”, did I use bad words. If I told you, “you’re no good just like that sorry behind daddy of yours,” did I use bad words. If I get upset with you and yell out “I hate you, or I hate your guts” did I use bad words. Those words are usually more damaging in the long run than are some of the curse words.
As a believer, its great that you don’t cuss, but God is telling us to move to a higher level than that. The purpose of our words, is not to get something off of our chest, but to build up others according to their needs. Wow, that means having to think before we speak. That means putting the good of the other person ahead of my need to smack them upside the head verbally. Do you see why Jesus says, its tough to be one of his disciples, especially in the home. At home, we are more likely to let bad words come out, than we are at church, and that’s not a good thing. Because whether or not we striving to live for Jesus Christ is determined more by our behavior at home than it is at church.
The way to control bad words, is to make a practice of using encouraging words. People change quicker through encouragement than they will through put downs. When someone in your family blows it, what is more likely to come from your mouth? Words that put them down or words that encourage and build them up. Those words of encouragement can turn your home that day into something better. Bad words often do little to improve the atmosphere in the home.
There is a verse in the bible that we all at sometimes think we can get around and get away with. It says, “you will reap, what you sow.” It didn’t say you will immediately reap what you sow, but it did say you will reap what you sow. How we talk to others today, is how one day others will talk back to us. For some of us that’s good news, because we have been encourages of others in the home. For others, it’s not good news and we know why.
I think there are times we want to make sure we punish and discipline others in order to make them do what we want to do, and we do not consider the possibility of offering them encouragement as a way to get them going in the right direction. We make our punishment and discipline last way too long. It ends up hurting the whole family.
If only we could see that we do need each other. In our Old Testament reading, God’s people were about to get in a fight with the powerful nation known as the Amalekites. If God was not a part of the equation, there is no question the Amalekites would win this battle. But God told Moses, to send Joshua and the troops into battle, and Moses was to go up on the hill with the staff of God in his hands. As long as Moses lifted up his hands and kept the staff held high, God’s people were winning the fight. But when Moses took down his arms, because he was tired, the Amalekites started to win the battle.
The best thing that happened that day, was that Aaron and Hur had gone to the top of the hill with Moses. When they saw the correlation between Moses’ arms raised high and the battle in the valley, they went a got a rock for Moses to sit on, and they each held up one of his arms. The brought Moses some encouragement. One pastor defined encouragement, as “to add courage to.”
A person who gives words of encouragement is helping another person to become bolder and braver. By encouraging someone as Aaron and Hur did, you may be allowing someone to complete the task God has called them to do, you may be allowing someone to keep hoping for something better even though they are still in the same circumstances, you may be allowing someone to make up their mind to start all over again.
It’s hard being a parent. It’s hard being a child. It’s hard being a wife. It’s hard being a little brother or sister. It’s hard being a husband. It’s hard being a grandparent. It’s hard living in this fallen world. We all are going to blow it. When was the last time you offered encouragement, with no smart comment with it to take away some of its affect. We are told in the bible, “Encourage each other daily, while it is still called today.” Hebrews 3:13. Can you imagine how doing something that simple could turn our homes into something better? Not only that, the responsibility is on us to do it, regardless of what anybody else in the house does. Being a believer for Christ in our homes is defined more by what we do, rather than what we do not do.
There are three ways that we can encourage each other. The first way is through our words. Words cost us nothing but our pride. Pride keeps us from saying to someone in our family, “I really appreciate this about you.” And yet words can greatly enrich our homes Sometimes we don’t give encouragement because we might feel embarrassed by the other person’s reaction or even fear of what they might say in return. But go ahead and take the risk. Proverb 25:11 tells us that a word spoken at the right time is like apples of gold in settings of silver. In other words it’s a good thing.
It’s a wholesome word that will build up the person who hears it. Would speaking a positive word into someone in your home or in your family each day, be something you’d be willing to do in order to make it better. I can’t tell you the number of funerals I’ve been at in which someone in the congregation comes forward said, “I’m going to miss my--, because he or she spoke words of encouragement to me when I was really and down out and nobody thought I’d ever be anything.” I wonder if we spoke all spoke more words of encouragement, could we keep people from reaching that place of being down and out in the first place.
Could words of encouragement help your kids get better grades. Could words of encouragement improve your relationship to your spouse. Even with all the other person does, sometime we leave our spouses and our children, and even our parents with the feeling that they just can’t do anything right. Ever thought to tell your parents, they’re doing a good job as parents or grandparents. When my father died a couple of years ago, I was going through his important papers looking for policies for insurance. I came across a letter he had saved. It was a letter I had written a number of years earlier thanking him for the job he had done as my father and saying what a good job he had done.
The second way we encourage one another is through our actions. Remember part 2 of our series was “ Sharing the Load.” Jesus told us,” this is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.” Jesus showed his love for us through his actions. When he could have saved himself, he chose to die on our behalf and be raised from the dead. We need some kisses and hugs in our families, but we need to move on to the next level which is action. Love is not to be simply an emotion. Love is a choice to behave in a certain way.
I choose to encourage you, by doing this for you, so that you will not have to do it yourself. I choose to encourage you by showing kindness in helping you out with the little things from taking in the groceries to taking out the trash. I choose to encourage you, by doing your chores even when I don’t have to do it. Remember the pastor’s definition that said to encourage, means “to add courage to’.” All of us can use someone to add a little courage to us. Are you willing to come alongside of us and just help us out. Aaron and Hur didn’t just keep telling Moses, “you can do it, lift up those hands, come on, 2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate. Moses.” No they went and got a rock for him to sit down, and they eased the pain in his arms by holding up his arms with their support. We need to put some action with our encouragement.
The third way we encourage each other brings us back full circle to our first message in the series and that was with our attitude. When someone in the family messes up, does our attitude tell them we are still with them or against them? When Moses’ arms dropped and the people of God began losing in the battle with the Amelikites, Aaron and Hur did not get an attitude with Moses. They didn’t tell him, “how can you let the people down like this, get your arms back up in the air.” No their attitude was one of encouragement as they sought a plan to keep things moving forward.
The reality is, we are going to disappoint each other. We are going to fail one another. We are going to not live up to our own expectations at times. One thing about Jesus is that Jesus still can see beyond our mistakes, to the possibility of what we can become. Peter was one of Jesus’s most intimate followers. Jesus had invested a lot of time and energy into Peter. A few hours before Jesus was betrayed by those he loved, he told Peter, tonight you will turn away from following me, but when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. His attitude toward Peter, was still one of acceptance and encouragement.
How often have we turned against Jesus, and yet was thankful that we could go back to him and be restored. It’s because we know that Jesus approaches us with words of encouragement. Let’s look one more time at a portion of our New Testament reading. Ephesians 4:29-32 (NIV)
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
We can Turn Our Homes Into Something Better, by choosing to say yes to the will of God for our lives. Jesus died and rose from the dead as proof that God can raise us to something better than what we have. We have the holidays coming up soon and it will be an opportunity to encourage each other with our attitudes. You may have to go to someone’s house you don’t want to go to. Don’t let everybody know you are going but it’s killing to you to be there. Let go of the attitude and see how God can use you to turn your family into something better.
Jesus died and rose again from the dead, not simply to take us to heaven. He also did it to change what our lives would be like on this side of the grave. God loves you and God loves the people in your family. You are only going to get the chance to live once. So go ahead and make the best of it.
