WOMEN & WIVES
PROVERBS 19:13-14
The Book of Proverbs places the responsibility for guiding the home according to the wisdom of God not only on the husband but also on the wife. A good wife makes the home a haven where development and devotion occur.
How good it is to have a loyal, faithful, and reliable best friend. A good husband or wife is your go-to teammate who sticks by your side, helps you up when you fall, encourages you when you're down, rejoices when you succeed. How excellent it is to have a loving companion who weathers all seasons of life with you, who weathers all storms of life with you, who weathers the years with you, and knows you deeply, both the good and the bad, and still accepts and loves you. How wonderful it is to have a friend like that, and how challenging it is to be such a companion. Yes, how wonderful it is to have a godly wife or husband (CIM). What a great blessing of God!
Husbands and wives are suppose to love each and be devoted to each other. This love and devotion is to be 100 percent not only to each other, but to the Lord. When this happens God can guide them and bless their marriage. Let's look at some Proverbs that contrast godly wives with foolish ones.
Proverbs 14:1 reveals that a wife will either build or tear down her home. "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands."
Builds refers to caring for a household and causing it to flourish. Whereas a woman of wisdom builds up her household, a woman of folly lives in such a way that her household is neglected. If she walks with the Lord, she will be a builder. If she disobeys God's wisdom, she will destroy the home's true purpose.
A "wise woman" is the one who realizes that the primary ministry of her life is to build her house. If you are a mother, you have an opportunity every day to build into lives what can have eternal impact. A foolish woman doesn't give her family the attention or energy it needs. The wise woman, on the other hand, realizes the tremendous impact she can have by discipling, praying for, loving, and encouraging her family. [Courson, Jon: Jon Courson's Application Commentary: Vol. 2. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2006, p. 217.]
Proverbs 12:4 teaches that having a capable wife is as good as being royalty. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones."
Look at the wife's possibilities. She can be a crown or a cancer to her husband. A shameful wife can debilitate her husband's strength, energy and health. A capable wife brings honor to her husband and to her home. A cantankerous women saps life from her husband and her home [or church].
Proverbs 18:22 proclaims the blessing that comes from finding a godly wife. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."
The favored man sought a wife with care and prayer and found what he sought. He has found a good thing, a rare jewel of incalculable value. He has found what will not only contribute more than any thing to his nurture in this life, but also will be prepare him for heaven.
God is the reason a virtuous wife is found and that fact is to be acknowledged with thankfulness. It is a demonstration of His favor, and a loving pledge of further grace. It is a sign that God has honored this man and purposed to do him great good. For what men attain is do in large part to the wife that made it possible.
Proverbs 19:13-14 contrast a contentious wife with a prudent one. "A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.
What greater earthy comfort can a man have than a good wife and good children? Yet, "a foolish son" is a great affliction, and may make a man wish that he had been childless. A son that will not apply himself to study or work, that will take no advice, that lives a lewd, loose life, is "the destruction of his father," because not only does he disgrace his father, he could be the ruin of his family [Henry, Matthew: Matthew Henry's Commentary. Peabody : Hendrickson,1991, S. Pr 19:13].
The contentious wife finds some reason to make herself and those about her uneasy every day. Those accustomed to criticizing never lack something or other to scold about. It is a continual dripping, that is, a continual vexation, like a house with so many leaks you can keep it dry or the water out. This man needs a great deal of wisdom and grace to enable him to bear his affliction and do his duty, who has an stubborn son and a browbeating wife.
Let's be fair and admit that in some homes the situation is reversed because the husband is the culprit. God hates family discord (6:19), and we should do everything we can to practice in the home the kind of love that produces unity and harmony.
Verse 14 of Proverbs 19 points out that wealth may come from an inheritance but the greater riches of a discerning wife are from the Lord. "House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord."
"A prudent wife" makes the best out of the occurrences in life. If a man has such a wife, don't ascribe it to the wisdom of his own choice or efforts (for the wisest have been deceived by a woman). A prudent wife comes only from the goodness of God, who not only made such a companion for him, but lead him to his help-mate.
Proverbs 21:9 compares an uncomfortable dwelling with an unpleasant wife. "It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman."
A wife who constantly quarrels creates an atmosphere that pushes her husband to look elsewhere for loving, caring attention.
If a man is living with a contentious woman, who continuously causes tensions and arguments, he would be better off living in an attic. This isn't an indictment against women. It's a warning for those discontent in their single state, thinking marriage is the ultimate solution. [With 1,000 wives and concubines, Solomon could speak with authority about women.]
[The statement about "a quarrelsome wife" is repeated in 25:24. Similar thoughts are stated in 19:13; 21:19; 27:15-16. Verses 9, 19 of chapter 21 are 2 of the 19 better . . . than verses in Proverbs [starting with 12:9]. The point made in 21:9, 19 is the preference of living in cramped quarters (on a corner of a flat roof, 9) or in a desolate area ("a desert, " v. 19) where one can at least have peace and quiet rather than in a spacious house with an argumentative, contentious wife. A wife who causes strife makes a home unpleasant and undesirable. [Walvoord, John F. ; Zuck, Roy B. The Bible Knowledge Commentary. Wheaton, IL : Victor Books, 1983, S. 951]
Proverbs 21:19 advises that a desolate place is a better companion that a contentious woman. "It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman." Solomon warns the unmarried that working an inhospitable barren farm is better than trying to work out a marriage with an embitter and aggravating woman, or we might add, man. [See similar though in 19:13; 25:24; 27:15].
Proverbs 25:24 is another wake-up call comparison, particularly for those thinking about marriage. "It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman."
Solitude in cramped quarters with peace is better . . . than living in a spacious house with a cantankerous, contentious wife. [This verse is identical to 21:9 and similar to 21:19].
Again, it seems that the thought is not so much an indictment against women, but against thinking that marriage or a wife will solve your problems. Only the Lord can do that.
Proverbs 27:15 illustrates what a quarrelsome woman is like. "A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike."
If you have ever had a leak in your roof you understand the frustration it causes. A violent rain and threatening weather traps you inside. Drop by relentless drop it tenaciously keeps on leaking down till it becomes like torture.
Proverbs 27:16 teaches us that you can not control a quarrelsome woman. "He who would restrain her restrain the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand."
Wind can not be controlled and oil cannot be grasped. So a contentious woman's constant words and actions of dissatisfaction keep on coming, even if they are damaging people and homes.
Proverbs 31:10 indicates the rarity and worth of a capable wife. "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels."
Like men, women are fallen and destitute of godliness. A godly woman is only possible after a miraculous recreation in Christ Jesus.
Finding an excellent wife is not possible with merely human effort. Obviously an excellent wife is a gift of God. She is more precious and a rarer fortune than any earthy treasure.
Proverbs closes in 31:30 with the wisdom that is truly worthy of praise. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."
The worldly wise or shrewd women attempts to refine their charm and enhance their beauty. Fear of the Lord is the only way to true beauty, eternal beauty, and it can be created within a woman or a man. While the world looks for the fleeting external attractiveness of the body, God recreates His imperishable inner graces in the eternal soul. May you who have chosen to pursue the virtues that are only found in the fear of the Lord be praised!
CONCLUSION
Thankfulness is key in your relationship with the Lord and key in your relationship with your wife. God doesn't owe us forgiveness and a relationship with Him, but He gladly gives it. The proper response, of course, is an eternity of gratitude. Similarly, we do not deserve the blessing of a wife. She is an unearned gift from the Lord. She is a wonderful helper along our journey, for the Lord knows that it is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). In other words, God understands our need and provides a wife out of the purity and power of His love. The proper response, of course, is consistent gratitude for her. She needs to know that you appreciate her and don't take her for granted. [STAND FIRM devotional. Nov. 2011. P. 37.] A wife is an undeserved gift from our loving God, Be sure to thank God regularly for your wife, and be sure to let her know how much you appreciate her.
