"Put Away Bitterness"
Ephesians 4:31-5:2
Intro: Recently I was pulling out of a parking space in Leah’s DoodleBug. I was beside a bus so I had to pull half way out to see is anything was coming. A car was driving down the lane, far too fast and had to swerve to miss me. I signaled my apology but the passenger rolled down the window, hung half way out, so she could point her finger at me and scream vulgarities.
Have you noticed people are becoming increasingly bitter? And perhaps there is no other venue in which they express that their bitterness as easily as in driving. Road rage is real and growing.
Today I want to address BITTERNESS, which our text says is "to be put away from you".
Have you ever known someone who was BITTER?
Maybe BITTER at GOD ... blaming God for the bad things that has happened to them.
Maybe BITTER at a MATE ... blaming them for what they had done to them... perhaps ending a marriage in divorce ... bitter at a PARENT ... a CHILD
Maybe BITTER at an EMPLOYER ... because they didn't get the promotion they thought they deserved.
Maybe YOU are bitter ... maybe you know someone who is ... maybe you are on the RECEIVING end of BITTERNESS.
Let's take a look and see what BITTERNESS really is.
1. WHAT MAKES A PERSON BITTER?
Answer: Perceived Sin
When we THINK someone has sinned against us, we get angry ... which can turn to bitterness.
We wait for an APOLOGY ... if it doesn't come ... we become BITTER against that person.
Bitterness is not anger! Anger is an emotion; bitterness is a spirit.
Emotions come and go; a spirit stays ... it moves in and brings its furniture with it.
Bitterness is an evil spirit that moves in and kicks the sweet, gentle spirit to the curb.
The sweet spirit had its house, your heart and mind, decorated with furniture like kindness, good works, forgiveness, mercy and peace.
But bitterness kicks sweet spirit out and throws out the furniture too. Then it brings in furniture like spite, envy, jealousy, spiteful words, spiteful deeds.
And your heart and mind are a mess.
In that state, you can not
Receive things from the Holy Spirit
Live a life that pleases God
Grow in service
And this spirit of bitterness has spread like a cancer through our society.
We have come to where we think it is our right to be bitter.
If someone pulls out in front of me, and I have to tap my brakes ... I have the right to blast them with the horn.
If someone turns into my lane and I think it was too quick ... I have the right to shoot them the bird.
If our kid doesn't make the team or the squad; we have a god-given right to use profanity.
Most drivers see the horn as something they are to use to punish other drivers for their stupidity.
Where does this anger and bitterness come from?
Why did we not see it until the 90's?
We got angry .... But society was not a BITTER.
Experts tell us this societal bitterness comes from frustration over loss of control.
Government, courts, employers and everyone else are taking away our power and our ability to make choices. That creates anger and nowhere to put it, so
we become bitter.
I think that is hogwash. We have more free time and more freedoms today than our parents.
What has happened is that we have become increasingly un-Christian and un-churched.
Without that spiritual life and spiritual strength, we have lost the ability to deal with anger in the right way.
That anger has seethed and festered underneath the surface and become BITTERNESS ... a spirit, a life-style, a mindset.
With that bitterness festering underneath, and no Spiritual inhibitors ... our emotions are like a powder keg, or load of nitro glycerin ... unstable and ready to blow at the least little thing.
And because "What one generation does in moderation; the next does to excess" the moral inhibition against such shows of anger have been removed and we are moving more and more in the direction of explosion.
So ... what does that have to do with church, God and a sermon?
What can we do about bitterness?
1. UNDERSTAND WHERE IT COMES FROM.
What causes it? PERCEIVED WRONG!!
When we think someone has wronged us we get angry. If we can't do something with the anger, it grows to become bitterness.
2. KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
How can you tell if someone is BITTER? Bitterness remembers details!
Most of what you have done, or what was done to you, you have forgotten a long time ago ... you don't remember details of most events. BUT ... when you
are BITTER about something, you can remember EVERY DETAIL! Every word that was said ... the tone and inflection of the voice used ... the time, place and circumstances of the event. You know EXACTLY what happened.
Why is this true? Because you have reviewed it over and over in your mind ... a thousand times!
When you are BITTER over something, you can't let go of it ... and it haunts you ... and you play it over & over again ... you become OBSESSED with it.
EX. - I've counseled people who are going through a divorce. They are BITTER. There have been thousands of good times in the marriage. They wouldn't have gotten married in the first place, if they hadn't loved each other at one time. BUT ...
something happened ... and they are BITTER. They can't remember the good times. All they can remember are the things that they have been rehearsing in their minds over and over and over again. That's BITTERNESS!
When a person is BITTER, no detail is forgotten.
Some details are even EXAGGERATED after awhile.
The more you analyze and scrutinize them, the worse they become.
How do you know if you are BITTER? Your resentment causes you to be obsessed with all the sordid details of the event.
IV. WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT BITTERNESS?
Paul said we are to "put it away."
How???
here are 3 things you can do with BITTERNESS:
1.- Keep It Inside - AND, when you do, it will make you sick ... physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Eventually, it can kill you ... it's that deadly. You can see BITTERNESS in the face of a BITTER person.
2.- Let It Out - Many Psychologists will tell you to go to the person you are bitter against, and let it out. Don't keep it in ... SHARE IT! Why keep it in &
make yourself sick ... Let it out ... Get everybody else sick!
God has a better plan!
3.- Dig It Up ... kill it off ... get rid of it.
Hebrews 12: 15 - all turn
The Bible describes BITTERNESS as a ROOT. A ROOT is underground ... it can't be seen. BUT ... you can see the EVIDENCE, when the root cracks a sidewalk.
Just because you can't see the ROOT, doesn't mean it isn't there. ROOTS don't always stay ROOTS ... eventually they will come up and bear FRUIT. The
ROOT of a lemon tree will bear the sour FRUIT of a lemon tree. It won't bear the sweet FRUIT of an orange tree.
ROOTS grow ... they spread. "thereby many be defiled" BITTERNESS can spread through a church ... it can spread through an office, or school ... it can
spread through a family ...
To get rid of the problem, you have to pull up the roots.
I think if Jesus walked on earth and taught today, he might equate bitterness to cancer ... or to diabetes.
Diabetes is a terrible disease that is the underlying cause of all kinds of bad stuff. You usually don't see the diabetes ... you see things like eye problems,
heart problems, healing problems, foot problems, leg problems.
You go to the doctor with one of these problems and the doctor says, "It is that darned old diabetes ... springing up again."
Bitterness is like that. It may crop up in the form of uncontrollable anger ... or depression, or ulcers, or hypertension, or divorce, or abuse.
To get rid of the symptoms you have to get rid of the bitterness.
1.- Recognize Your Bitterness - The temptation/tendency is to look at the offender and the offense ... to obsess with how you have been wronged ... what they did to you.
Remember life is 100/0 what happens to you and 900/0 how you respond.
Before you can ever get rid of BITTERNESS, you have to confess that you hold resentment for that person ... and resentment that has been held onto
becomes rancid & rotten bitterness.
2. Realize that it's your problem ...
not the problem of the person who has offended you.
The BITTER person always thinks that it's the other person's sin that's the problem.
The TRUTH is… BITTERNESS is the sin of the BITTER PERSON no matter what sin the offender has done to you
(or you THINK they have done to you).
Don't let Satan or anyone else rob your of the cure ...
by telling you that it is not your fault.
3. Confess It As Your Sin - The only thing that will get rid of bitterness is to confess it as a SIN before God ... YOUR sin.
BITTERNESS isn't based upon what somebody did to you ... it's the result of what you have done with that offense.
Before you can get rid of BITTERNESS, you have to see that it is a SIN against God ... it is EVIL ... it comes from the pit of HELL ... it is a destructive
TOOL of Satan.
You deal with BITTERNESS like any other SIN in your life.
HOW ARE YOU TO DEAL WITH SIN IN YOUR LIFE?
1. YOU CONFESS IT.
You DIG UP THE ROOT. You present this ugly, rotten, cancerous root to God ... and you CONFESS it as the SIN it is.
BITTERNESS is a SIN PROBLEM ... YOUR sin problem
... not anybody else's sin problem.
2. YOU RECEIVE GOD'S FORGIVENESS.
1 John 1:9 -
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "
Jesus is always listening, waiting to hear the sinner come to Him in repentance. His love, grace, and mercy is waiting to heal and cleanse.
CONCLUSION: Maybe you are on the receiving end of a BITTER person.
Maybe you ARE the person who is holding resentment and bitterness in your heart for another person.
In Jesus, you can find rest ... and peace ... and healing ... and forgiveness.
Jesus knows all about BITTERNESS ... it nailed Him to the cross.
AND ... on the cross, He purchased your forgiveness.
AND ... when He rose from the dead, He brought victory over all BITTERNESS.
