Summary: Paul teaches some basics about the Christian family and the importance of living OUT our faith in everything we do.

Colossians 3:18-25 [NLT]

February 06, 2013

Oak Park Baptist Church – Wed Bible Study Series

Colossians Bible Study

Paul’s teaches on the Christian Household:

In ch1-2 Paul was all about exalting Christ and the sufficiency of Christ for salvation and for walking and living out our faith!

We learned last week that chapter 3 is not Paul’s support of HIS list of things over the false teacher’s list of things…

What Paul is teaching here is NOT a list of MUST do’s for the believer! What it is… is a list of MUST SEEs for the believer! In other words, Paul is saying that SINCE you are IN CHRIST…

SINCE you have Christ, then this I what your life should look like… this is what the world should SEE when they SEE you living for Christ!

What Paul teaches in the 1st part of Ch3 is a list, but it is a list of the result of our salvation and a result of our relationship with Christ!

This list does not lead one TO salvation or a right standing with God… this list reflects the life style of those who are living out their faith in Christ in this world!

Up thru v17 of ch3 we find Paul speaking about the Christian as a general whole… but in v18 he becomes a bit more specific as he addresses the family unit in particular.

So as he closes out his teaching in ch3 we find Paul again returning to a general view of the overall Christian life in v22-25

Let’s begin with vv.18-21 and what Paul is saying about the family… as it pertains to the Christian family… those who profess Christ as Savior…this is how they are expected to act and live their lives as believers!

[read ALL verses here 18-25 – NLT]

So tonight I want us to focus on each verse and break down just exactly what Paul was saying in these verses to the church… and to the Christian family! So let’s go back to v.18 and start there:

18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Now v18 is a point of contention for many women today because of that ONE word listed here… [show highlighted version here] It is the word SUBMIT, and I believe that has happened for MANY reasons…

However, the thing that has probably been the cause of this sort of reaction is how MEN have treated women over the centuries… so this word ‘submit’ can be quite uncomfortable to many, if not most women!

But what we need to understand is that this is NOT what Paul was alluding to in this verse…

Was Paul saying that women should only be silent, pliable and dominated by the men in their lives? Absolutely NOT!

Was he telling them to surrender ALL of who they were and sacrifice their identity to their father or a husband? Certainly NOT!

The key to understanding Paul’s words here is the word for ‘submit’ that Paul uses. Here in the Greek word Paul uses hoop-ah-tasso which in a non-military setting (which this is) means: “a voluntary attitude of cooperation, assuming responsibility and carrying a burden”

I believe this to be a great picture of a wife and mother! Paul is describing here as one who is THERE for her husband and children; one in total cooperation with her husband and in the organizing & management of the family unit.

Finally Paul says she is one who assumes responsibility for her duties and is willing to carry a heavy burden FOR the family!

What a beautiful picture Paul paints here for the woman! And that is just in that word hoop-ah-tasso but Paul does not stop there, he finishes his statement by saying, “…as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord…”

This statement by Paul is a reflection of how we are called to walk in faith and in submission to our Savior! A wife is called to walk in a similar way in her relationship with her husband!

Paul is NOT denigrating the wife or mother, but rather he is INCLUDING her and elevating the wife to an important role in the family!

Before this time the woman and wife of the family was merely a possession and servant for the man… Jesus came to change that mindset and he passed on his teaching to His disciples… WOMEN are elevated within the church!

Another aspect I don’t want to overlook here is the fact that Paul leads off with the wife… with the mom! He addresses her first… now I have always heard that “if momma is not happy… the family is not happy”

I believe that Paul is addressing women first here because of the vital importance of the woman in God’s plan for the family unit!

MEN, you know what I am talking about, without momma we are sunk… when momma is out of sync… the whole family is out of sync!

Paul is NOT denigrating women here, but he is actually emphasizing the importance of their role in the family unit! So women you are called here by Scripture to submit to your husband…

Once again, the term SUBMIT here is not meant to be demeaning or to put women UNDER men, but it means that as a wife you are called to respect your husband and to have a voluntary attitude of cooperation within the family, as well as, assuming responsibility for and carrying certain burdens within the family structure!

God believes in women so much that He has cast a very heavy load upon them… and expects this action and attitude from them! But Paul also addresses the dad/father as well!

Look at v.19, 21:

19Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Here Paul addresses the father/husband within the Christian family structure. FIRST he addresses the attitude and action of the father/husband figure!

[show highlighted version here] ALL things must be tempered with LOVE! You are called to LOVE your wife FIRST! The Greek word used here for love is agah-pah-oh which is derived from the root word/verb agape… We all have heard about this verb!

This verb agape represents a love that goes FAR beyond human understanding. It is a love that loves when it is not loved back. It loves when it is rebelled against. It is a love that forgives when wronged. It is a love that is patient, kind and gentle at all times!

Paul describes this type of love in the famous chapter in 1 Cor 13. This word for love describes how God so loved the WORLD (John 3:16)… Men you are called to LOVE your wife with this kind of love!

This means that when it comes to you vs her and doing something… you will always defer to HER! This means that you seek HER happiness and meeting HER needs FAR before you ever think about or act on your own needs/desires!

Men if we LOVED our wives with this sort of love, do you think they would have ANY issues with this submission command? I truly believe they would not!

That type of love is commanded to be given to the wife but Paul also teaches us that the same type of love from the father is to be made manifest in his actions toward his children as well! Look at v21:

21Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Do NOT provoke your children is a phrase that indicates an almost malicious attitude that seeks to stir things up among people.

We are NOT called to make our children’s lives any more difficult, but we are called to love them! If they see US denigrating them and exasperating them… they are going to get discouraged and will seek spiritual leadership from another source!

Father’s you are the lead example in the home… what your children see you doing is how they are going to view the world… it is how they are going to view God!

If a child only experiences exasperation and discouragement from his/her earthly father, HOW are they going to respond to their Heavenly Father! Men we are called to lead by God and we MUST!

v19 and 21 reveal the Christian father’s foundation for his family (wife/children) but Paul goes on in v20 to explain that obedience to God is reflected in ALL areas of life!

20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Paul is teaching these children that God has placed them with their parents and that honoring their father and mother was part of God’s command for ALL believers!

In fact, Scripture tells us that the command to honor your father and mother is the ONLY commandment with a promise… that your days will be long upon this earth!

Our children are to obey us, but I want us to be clear on this… Paul is speaking about Christian parents! Yes the issue of obedience goes beyond faith and religion, but when parents begin to exasperate and manipulate their children… that is an area where the family can break down really quickly!

Parents we are responsible for leading WELL, and children are responsible for following well!

Paul then takes a sidebar here… this next verse goes BEYOND the Christian family and extends to ALL believers. If you are a believer, this applies to you!

Many of the early believers were not high in the social order… they came from the working class and many of them were actually slaves.

Now today we KNOW how heinous slavery is and the Bible does NOT support slavery… BUT it was a reality in the 1st century! Slavery was as much a part of life as hourly jobs are today!

And when you think about it… many can feel trapped and ‘enslaved’ as they feel STUCK in a job that doesn’t pay well, but they feel powerless to get out or change things! I believe this translates very well to those in the church today who have a job!

Ultimately it applies to us all, but probably has a stronger influence on those of us who punch a clock… who work for an hourly rate! Look at what Paul says…

22Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

Paul uses the term obey in everything, meaning that we are to know who is the boss! We are working FOR them… it is their company that employs US. They are the boss and they give the orders!

There are many in our world today who believe that jobs are rights and that the employers are beholding to the employees… and while an employer should NEVER take advantage or exploit an employee… the Employer is the boss! The job exists to further the company NOT for the benefit of the worker!

With that being said what Paul was addressing was the idea of slavery and how many slaves wanted to use their Christianity as an excuse to rebel and force their owners to release them…

Paul knew that this would never work in their society and God impressed upon Paul to teach that a submissive and obedient servant, seeking to please and honor his boss was a FAR better witness for Christ than a rebellious and discontent worker!

Paul understood that slavery was bad and I am sure if there was a way, Paul would have freed them all… but God is about changing hearts, ONE heart at a time!

Paul told these people to look at their situation as if they were working for Jesus himself! If you were working for Jesus you KNOW you would act a certain way and you KNOW you would WORK a certain way! If you were working for Jesus you KNOW that you would have a particular attitude!

Well, with that in mind… take the mindset of working for Jesus and apply it to your situation… whatever that situation may be! BE THE EXAMPLE is what Paul was saying!

Paul then shifts to an overall statement about how we are to live in the world as believers [read v23 -NLT here]

23Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than people,

Here Paul uses an all inclusive statement about living our lives as believers in a world where we are to be a living representative of Christ…

Whatever you do… is Paul’s statement! This is in how we live, how we work, how we communicate and get along with those in the world, with each other… Whatever we do…

We are to DO IT willingly! The NIV puts it this way with ALL our heart. The Greek word Paul used here is psoo-kay which is translated usually as spirit or life.

But the implication here is that whatever we do as believers we are to do it with ALL of WHO WE ARE! With ALL our spirit… with ALL our life!

Today in our culture the young people would say, ‘you gotta REPRESENT!’ which is to say, you cannot slack, you cannot do things half way… you must go all out!

The NIV [show NIV v23 here]translates this as “work with all your heart” but more literally it refers to MORE than just your actual ‘work’ but it also means your attitude toward that work!

The way you work should come from the very essence of who you are in your spirit. And as a believer, your spirit has been changed!

The OLD SELF is gone and the new has come and it is all because of WHO has come into your life! You are now IN CHRIST…[show v24 here]

24Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

Paul goes on to say that as a believer you are ACTUALLY working for the Lord in all you do, whether or not it is for the church or not…

YOUR life is His and He is using YOUR life for His kingdom, so in reality you are working FOR God in all you do!

And because you are working FOR the Lord we also need to remember that God is faithful and He has promised an eternal reward for our faithfulness! Jesus told His disciples, “I go to prepare a place for you…that where I am you can be also!”

Our eternal reward is heaven with God… we are working for Him and He has promised rewards for those who are faithful! But what we have to remember is that we are not working FOR the reward…

Our eternity is settled thru Christ on the Cross! We are working FOR Christ to honor Him and bring Him glory and for that He has promised us rewards above and beyond simple salvation!

We do NOT work for our reward, but God has promised that he would reward those who are willing to work! There is a difference!

Then Paul ends this particular section by declaring that those who fail to come to these terms in Christ are ‘wrongdoers’ and that they will be disciplined for their unwillingness to change or submit to Christ! [show regular v25 here]

25But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favorites.

The ‘wrong doer’ here in this instance is Paul referencing the believer who is NOT living their lives as they should… they are NOT living out their faith… they are NOT serving with all their heart…

Also we need to understand that the [show highlighted v25 here] ‘paid back for what you have done wrong’ here in this verse is a judgment!

However, Paul is NOT referring to the eternal judgment we all will one day face, but more of a discipline/punishment or consequence of our actions here in this life!

Scripture tells us to NOT worry about the evil one, to not worry about those who are sinful, but that regardless of how THEY treat US… we are called to live out our faith with all of who we are! We are called to serve Christ to the UTMOST!

Now we know that God will ultimately judge evil… they will get there due, but when it comes to disobedience and a sinful heart or attitude God is NOT going to judge the lost by a different standard than us…

What I mean here, is that IN THIS LIFE, we are not going to escape consequences because we are In Christ! We are called to obedience and living out our faith with all our hearts and when we choose to disobey that calling… God is going to discipline us!

So what this really reveals to us is that what Paul is teaching here is NOT a suggestion but a command! We MUST give our all in our service to Jesus!

When we slack or hold back, God is going to discipline us because He is NOT partial when it comes to open disobedience…

There is a standard, we will be held TO IT! Are you living your faith OUT to the world around you? Do your actions and life choices reflect an ‘all of your heart’ dedication to Jesus and the Kingdom?

We are called to ‘sell out all of who we are and serve with all of who we are…’ ARE YOU?