Summary: Taming our tongues

We have dynamite in our mouths.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. You may have heard children yelling that to one another across the school yard. I’ve even said it myself. But you know the longer I’ve lived my life the more I see that this saying is a lie. Words do hurt. In fact words can be as destructive as any action.

That came home to me when I went with my sister up to Ottawa to help her move. As we were in the car together we reminisced about old times. I asked her if she remembered the times when my brother and I teased her and called her names. You know children can be very cruel. We called her dish face because her face was a little flat. We called her pirate’s treasure because she had a sunken chest. And on and on it went. When I reminded Pearl of those things we said I’ll never forget the look that came on her face. Do you know the term, “if looks could kill”? That’s what came on my sister’s face. She said, in a very scary voice, one that made me nervous being in the small confined space of a car with her, that she would have killed us if she could have gotten away with it. Words do matter. They do hurt. But on the other hand words have the power to bless and heal as well.

We have dynamite in our mouths. Our tongues have the power to destroy or bless. In our passage this morning we will see the power of the tongue in three areas and how in each of these areas the tongue can either destroy or bless. Let’s look at James 3:1-12 (read passage).

We have dynamite in our mouths. The first power the tongue has is this: The tongue has the power to teach. Look at verse one. The tongue can teach others and when you have the position of a teacher you have power. When I was going to teachers' college one of our profs clued us in about the power of, " the teacher said so ..." Using that power we could send our students home and get them to get all sorts of goodies for the class room. The kids would say to their parents, "We have to bring in egg cartons for class. The teacher said so."

But it's not only elementary teachers that have power, Bible teachers have power as well. If you hold a position as a Bible teacher, you hold a sacred responsibility. We can effectively close the door to heaven on the face of our students. I remember when I was child attending Sunday school class and one of my classmates asked the teacher a question about hell. I remember the teacher saying that we didn't have to worry about hell because God was too loving to send anyone there. That teacher was teaching heresy. That kind teaching can easily keep people from repenting. Jesus said very clearly there is a hell and we need to be saved from it.

It's no wonder this verse says that we teachers will be judged more strictly. Jude talks about how God views false teachers and their eternal fate in Jude 13: "They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever."

It is a serious thing to teach the Word of God. We can't do it to gain recognition and approval. If that's why you're teaching then you should quit. We can't be presumptuous and think we know more than everyone else. We need to teach from an attitude of deep humility and dependence.

Now saying all this you may be thinking, "I never want to teach." But teaching, real Spirit-filled, biblical teaching, is one of the greatest needs of the church. You see even though false teaching can keep people out of heaven, true teaching can help people through the gates of heaven. It may very well be when you are asked if you want to teach the youth class that you feel inadequate and afraid. But you know that's a good attitude to start with. Let me give you some suggestions about how to teach the Bible so that it brings life, not death.

First, pray. The more you depend on God in your teaching, the more God can do through you. A young seminary student was given his first preaching assignment. He came to the pulpit with a beautiful manuscript and was ready to wow the parishioners. But the message was not well received. His stories fell flat and no one laughed at his jokes. He left the pulpit dejected and humbled. As he went to his seat, a wise old saint came up to him and said quietly, "If you had gone up to the pulpit with the same attitude as you came down with, you would have preached a much better sermon."

As we prepare to teach the Word of God we must be humble and dependent on God. And we show that by praying. When I prepare for sermons I need to remind myself that my time in prayer before the sermon is as important as the time I spend in study. Why do I think that? I think that because I know that unless God works, then nothing I say or do will make any eternal difference.

Second, study hard. 2 Timothy 2:15 says in the KJV: “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” We have to correctly handle the Word of truth. We need to depend on God, but we need to do our best to understand the passage so we can teach the truth. There are many Bible study tools that are available on the internet, but the primary source is the Bible itself. When I prepare a sermon or Bible study, my practice is to first study the Bible by itself. I’ll look through different versions and the Bible and check cross references. It is only after I have my preliminary study done will I check with commentaries and other helps. Two principles of interpreting the Bible that I think are very crucial are these: 1) Study the Bible itself. Look at what the passage says by itself. Don’t bring your own biases and opinions. Let the Bible speak on its own. Read the passage over and over again until you understand the plain meaning of the text.

2) Look at the context. The passage you are studying is in a context. It is in the context of the chapter. The chapter is in the context of the book. The book is in the context of the Bible. No Bible passage stands on its own. Consider the verses around it and how those verses help you interpret. Finally if you don’t understand a passage, get help. Ask someone else, or read a commentary or a book on the subject. And it you don’t understand it then, admit it. The truth is that no one knows everything. Don’t be afraid to tell your students that you haven’t figured it out yet.

Third, live it out. As teachers we have the responsibility of not only teaching correct doctrine, but also of living an exemplary life. What we teach we need to be applying in our own life. That’s not saying that we have to be perfect, but we have to be striving to live out the things we are teaching. Our behavior is so important because people listen more to what we do than what we say. Here are the rules for teachers working in New Hampshire in 1915:

Rules for Teachers — 1915

1. You will not marry during the term of your contract.

2. You are not to keep company with men.

3. You must be home between the hours of 8 PM and 6 AM

unless at a school function.

4. You may not loiter downtown in any of the ice cream

stores.

5. You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you

have permission of the chairman of the chairman of the

school board.

6. You may not ride in carriages or automobiles with any

man except your father or brother.

7. You may not smoke cigarettes.

8. You may not dress in bright colors.

9. You may under no circumstances dye your hair.

10. You must wear at least 2 petticoats.

11. Your dresses may not be any shorter than 2 inches above

the ankles.

Now some of those rules may seem a little ridiculous to us, but the school board knew this simple fact: we teach more by what we do than what we say. As teachers of the Word of God we need to be very careful to live what we teach.

We have dynamite in our mouths. The tongue has power. It has the power to teach. But the tongue has more power than just teaching. The tongue has the power to control. That’s exactly what verses 2-7 says. Whenever I read these verses I’m struck by how dangerous and destructive the tongue is. When I look at this passage four facts about the tongue jump out at me.

First, our little tongues control our whole lives. Look at verses 3-4 (read verses). There are two illustrations given here. The first illustration is a horse. Though a horse is a powerful animal, it can be turned in whatever direction the rider wants by pulling on a little bit in the horse’s mouth. The second illustration is a ship. The ship may be large, but even aircraft carriers are steered by the rudder, a little piece of metal at the back of the ship. In the same way, though our tongues are a small part of our bodies, our tongues often determine the course of our lives. Think about the impact of saying these two words have on your life: “I do.” When you say those words in a wedding ceremony you commit yourself to take this person as your wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part. Talk about a few words controlling our lives.

The agreements, the promises, the contracts that we make often determine the direction of our lives. But our tongue controls us, not in just the big decisions of life, it also controls us in our day to day interactions. Have you ever lied about something then had to cover up that lie by doing something else? Or have you ever bragged you could do something and then you were called on it? Our tongues can easily control us.

The second thing I notice in these verses is the tongue is highly destructive. Look at verses 4-6 (read verses). The picture here is of a small spark causing a great forest fire. Words have the power to bring great destruction. Think about charismatic dictators who lead their followers to war. Have you ever seen an old speech by Adolph Hitler? He was able to get a whole nation to follow him to war and genocide. And he wasn’t the first or the last.

But the tongue isn’t just destructive on a world politics level. It is destructive in our personal lives and relationships. We all know that’s true. We can all think of times when someone’s words have hurt us deeply. But it’s not just others hurting us. We are all guilty of attacking and hurting others with the things we say. I often wonder why my words injure so often and heal so seldom. You know that once words leave your mouth you can’t take them back. The damage is done.

But verse 6 explains why the tongue is so hard the control. The third thing I notice is found in this verse. Verse 6 tells us a shocking fact: the evil our tongues produce comes from hell itself. There are demonic forces at work behind our words. Satan wants us to use our tongues to insult, criticize, to belittle, to slander, to gossip and to attack others. I don’t know if you’ve ever had this happen to you, but you get into a disagreement with someone you love, with a family member and before you know it you say something that is hateful and mean. And after it comes out of your mouth you are shocked that you said it. Satan uses our own tongues as his weapon to inflict pain and suffering.

The fourth thing I notice from these verses is found in verses 6 and 7. The tongue is untamable. The comparison here is to different animals that people have domesticated. We may be able to control animals, but we can’t control our tongues.

The tongue has the power to control. And it can control us and bring destruction to those around us. That’s pretty depressing, but there is a note of hope here. Look at verse 2 again (read verse). This verse says that if we are able to control our tongues then we will be perfect. We will have control of our entire bodies. But how can we do that? How can we control our uncontrollable tongues?

Well first, we need the power of God. Verse 8 says that it’s impossible to tame the tongue. But nothing is impossible for God. Since the tongue is powered by supernatural evil forces, we need supernatural power to control it. If we really believe that our words are influenced by powers in the heavenly realms, then we will run to God. We need to offer our tongues to God every new day.

Second, it starts with the heart. One of the main reasons we have problems controlling our tongues is that when we try to change our words we are attacking the symptoms and not the true source. Luke 6:45 says: “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”

That verse tells us a very important fact. Our words only mirror what is in our hearts. If our words are mean and hateful, then our hearts are mean and hateful. If our words are encouraging and healing, then our hearts are full of compassion and love. Our words are a window of what is going on inside of us. If we try to change our words without addressing our hearts, then there will be times when our façade of control breaks and poison comes from our lips. If we really want to change our words, then we have to change our hearts.

Col. 3:16 says: “Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another will all wisdom; and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” This verse gives us a key tool in changing our hearts. We need to have the Word of Christ dwelling in us. Does any remember the hand illustration from a few weeks ago? We talked about getting the Word of God inside of us. What were those 5 ways of intake? They were hearing, reading, studying, memorizing and meditating. When we start making the Word of God an integral part of our lives, then our hearts will change and so will our speech. Let me encourage you to continue on with the applications you determined to make after hearing that message. Changing our hearts is not an easy, overnight process, but growing in Christlikeness is really the only long term solution to controlling our tongues.

But saying that, let me give you some short-term suggestions to limit the destruction our tongues cause as we mature in character.

Suggestion #1: Pray before you speak. Ecc. 3:7 says that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. We need wisdom to know which time it is. We need to develop the habit of praying and asking God to give us the right words before we speak.

Suggestion #2: Speak sparingly. Prov. 10:19 says, “Where words are many, sin is not absent; but he who holds his tongue is wise.” The truth is that for most of us, we speak more than we should. And it’s when we speak too much, that’s when we sin. One of the reasons we talk so much is that our words are the primary way we control our circumstances and the people around us. When we don’t speak we feel helpless. I remember as a young Christian being at a Bible study. We were discussing a passage and I had a very insightful observation to contribute, but there was never a lull in the discussion where I could interject. I remember feeling like I was going to burst. But you know I don’t remember at all what that insightful point was. I think my main desire to share wasn’t really to help others, but to show off how much I knew. I wanted to leave an impression on the others. Looking back on that incident I’m glad that the Lord arranged for me to not speak.

Suggestion #3: Aim to understand more than being understood. James 1:19 says: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” In our conversations with others our main objective is to understand and empathize with the person we are speaking with. In our conversations, our main aim should be to listen, not to give advice. Too often when I talk with someone I’m busy trying to figure out what I can say in response instead of trying to understand what they are saying. Here are some suggestions to listening better.

First, focus on the person. Listen intently to what the other person is saying. Bring all of your powers of concentration to bear. Try to put yourself in their shoes as they describe to you what’s going on in their lives.

Second, listen through body language. Maintain eye contact. Don’t look around the room. Instead nod and give appropriate comments as you listen.

Third, reflect what they are saying. After they are done talking, repeat back what you thought you heard them say and ask if that’s what they meant.

We have dynamite in our mouths. The tongue has the power to teach. It also has the power to control. But the tongue has a third power. The tongue has the power to praise or curse. Look at verses 9 to 12 (read verses). These verses paint two pictures. The first is a spring of water. The spring can produce either fresh water or salt water, but it can’t produce both at the same time. The second illustration is of fruit trees. If you have a fig tree you won’t find olives. On a grapevine you won’t find figs. James makes the observation that we aren’t like a spring or a fruit tree. Out of our mouths come mixed messages. First we praise God and then we curse people. And that’s exactly our situation. None of us is perfect. No one here has arrived. We are springs that give both fresh water and salt water. We are fruit trees with two kinds of fruit. How can we become more and more a spring with fresh water and less and less salt water come out of our mouths?

First, make worship a passionate pastime. You know it’s great to sing praise songs in church. I love to praise God through singing. I love to sing and lift my hands and voice and not worry about those around me. Why should I worry about what people think? I’m not singing for them. I’m singing for the One who saved me and who loves me. I want to show Him how much I love Him. I know it’s partly a cultural thing, that Chinese people are more reserved, but I know that’s not all of it. I’ve been to TC and I’ve seen that Asians can worship as passionately as anyone else. We need to learn how to praise God freely with all of our beings. And we can’t stop when the church service is over. We need to continue to praise Him every day at all times. We read Col. 3:16 before. It says that we are to sing Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in our hearts to God. I’ve found it helpful memorizing the lyrics of some of my favourite worship songs and singing them where ever I’m at. You can easily find lyrics on Youtube.

Second, lead non-believers to praise God. In our conversations with classmates, coworkers and neighbours who don’t God, let’s talk about God. I’m not saying be obnoxious about it. Don’t go around and say “Hallelujah, praise the Lord!” after every sentence, but don’t be ashamed of Jesus either. Talk freely about how God has helped you with problems, how He has led you in making important decisions, and how He has answered prayers. Praise God in front of non-believers and they in turn may join us in following the Lord.

Third, bless others with our words. People all around us are beaten down day by day by people’s words. If we can be people who build up others with our words we can make a difference in their lives and I believe we please God. Ephesians 4:29 is a key verse in how we should use our tongues for good: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it might benefit those who listen.” That verse tells us we need to use our tongues to build others up. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that could be said of us, that we were people who built others up? So often I find my natural reaction is the do just the opposite. I focus on the one thing the person has done wrong and comment on that, not on the 99 things they’ve done right.

When William Gladstone was Chancellor of the Exchequer, he sent down to the Treasury for certain statistics upon which to base his budget proposals. The statistician made a mistake. But Gladstone was so sure of this man's accuracy that he did not take time to verify his figures. He went before the House of Commons and made his speech, basing his appeal on the incorrect figures that had been given him. His speech was no sooner published than the newspapers exposed its glaring inaccuracies.

Mr. Gladstone was naturally overwhelmed with embarrassment. He went to his office and sent at once for the statistician who was responsible for his humiliating situation. The man came full of fear and shame, certain that he was going to lose his position. Gladstone said: ‘For a long time you have been engaged in handling the intricacies of the national accounts, and this is the first mistake that you have made. I want to congratulate you, and express to you my keen appreciation.'

I wish I had the same sense of appreciation as William Gladstone. How can we encourage others? Can you think of someone who you can encourage? Maybe it’s someone who you can thank. Children, have you every thanked your parents for giving you a house to live in, food to eat and clothes to wear. Husbands, have you thanked you wives for the shopping she does, the housecleaning, and the meals she prepares? You know I’ve been married for almost 23 years. That’s over 25,000 meals. Wives, have you thanked your husband for working to provide for the family, for looking after the finances, and for keeping the cars running? We have so much to be thankful for. Why don’t you show your appreciation starting today?

A professor at a business school gave a pop quiz. It was a standard quiz except for the last question: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Almost all the students left the last question blank.

Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

If that’s true in business, how much more do we need to show attention and care to those who are in the family of God? Is there anyone in the congregation you don’t know? Why don’t you introduce yourself and get the know them?

We have dynamite in our mouths. We can use that power to bless or to curse others. With God’s power, let’s use our tongues to encourage each other.