HoHum:
A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of Scripture expressly forbidding polygamy. “Nothing easier,” Twain said. “No man can serve two masters.”
WBTU:
More and more people seem to forget Henry Ford’s sage advice when asked on his 50th wedding anniversary for his rule for marital bliss and longevity. He replied, “Just the same as in the automobile business, stick to one model.”
Thesis: Let’s go over Matthew 19:7-12 phrase by phrase and learn some things about the bedrock of the home, marriage
For instances:
1. “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” vs. 7
“If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,” Deuteronomy 24:1, NIV.
Man would write out a certificate of divorce and send the woman on her way. Women had little say in the matter. The way it was in the OT
“Jesus, this is in the Bible, You cannot dismiss this so easily.”
2. Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard vs. 8
Moses "suffered" some things that were not right on account of "the hardness of your heart," a low state of morals. A people cannot be lifted from moral depravity to high standards at once. Therefore, the law permitted some things that were below the perfect standards.
Moses and God perceived that if divorce were not permitted, in some cases, the women would be exposed to great hardships through the cruelty of their husbands like murder.
Slavery is not condemned in the Bible but when Christian convictions were applied in more modern times, slavery is no more. Same thing can be said of marriage, when Christian morals are applied, things like polygamy and open marriages are no more.
3. But it was not this way from the beginning vs. 8
A. In the beginning there was no divorce, no polygamy and no open marriages. No where does God say that these are good things. Some people make fun of the mixed up marriages and sexual ethics in the OT. Many of the heroes of the OT indulged in polygamy and had concubines. Many problems from this. But notice they were all heterosexual unions not homosexual ones.
Jesus is pointing them back to the original intent of marriage. one man and one woman together for as long as they both shall live. How can we be one with more than one partner? Vs. 5- the two will become one flesh
If the government changes marriage to include same sex marriage, who says that in a few years we have people entering into marriages of more than 2. Jonathan Yarbrough, one of the first to get a same sex marriage in Massachusetts, said, “I think it’s possible to love more than one person and have more than one partner. In our case, it is. We have an open marriage.” Once we rip a ship off its moorings who knows where it will drift next?
4. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery- vs. 9
Not the only time that Jesus has said this. ““It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31, 32, NIV.
Jesus does give this exception for an acceptable divorce. But what exactly does this mean “marital unfaithfulness”? Some take marital unfaithfulness to cover about anything and everything like the situation in Deuteronomy 24:1.
KJV says fornication. Young’s Literal Translation says whoredom. Many translations say "immorality." The word here is porneia and this means a selling off or surrendering of one’s purity. Some things to consider:
1. What about the situation where a woman is abused physically and see believes that her husband will kill her? “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28, NIV.
2. Pornography comes from porneia. Especially men need to take the words of Jesus seriously in the Sermon on the Mount: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28, NIV. Is a person who engages in pornography committing immorality and therefore under this exception for divorce? Don't go too far because many men commit this regularly but this needs to be taken seriously.
3. Other Scriptures talk about the dissolution of a marriage like 1 Corinthians 7 where one person becomes a Christian and their mate does not. The unChristian mate leaves because of the Christian faith of the spouse and this person is no longer bound according to 1 Corinthians 7.
We can "What If" on particular situations for quite a while. However, I know Jesus is talking specifically about something that is reserved for the spouse and sharing it with someone else. This sexual intercourse between someone other than marriage spouse in this passage. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 gives an explanation of what this is. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.” What is this marital duty? Sexual relations. Marital unfaithfulness here is having sexual relations with someone other than marriage partner. Anyone who divorces except for this reason is creating an environment of sin. Like Malachi 2:14 says, “broken faith with her.”
“We are not compatible, we have irreconcilable differences, no fault divorce, I just don’t want to be married anymore” is not acceptable. Divorce should not be a part of a married couples vocabulary. Problem today is that too many wants to find reasons to get out of marriage and not enough are looking for reasons to stay in the marriage.
Other gospels, Mark and Luke, do not even give this exception. This is a much higher standard than the OT. Jesus does something similar in the Sermon on the Mount, takes OT commands and raises them to a higher level.
5. The disciples said to him “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” vs. 10
Jesus is causing his disciples to be shocked because of the high standards he is placing on marriage. Jesus is interested in getting back to the original intent of marriage that it is one man, one woman until death do they part.
Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 7:1. “It is good for a man not to marry.” Why? Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” 1 Corinthians 7:28.
Make sure that as far as you know the person want to marry can go the distance (life) with you. "(Marriage) is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God."
Samuel Johnson said, "Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures."
6. Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” Vs. 11-12
We see a lot of parallels between Jesus’ teaching here and 1 Corinthians 7:7: “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” If a person has the gift of remaining unmarried, he needs to employ it because marriage can have its troubles and trials (1 Corinthians 7:28).
However, if we do not have that gift (most do not) we need to be cautious whom we marry because it is until death do us part.
Having sex before marriage does not help to make such an important choice. It clouds the issue because if this person is not a good choice for me, then I have engaged in a lasting union whether I like it or not. “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”” 1 Corinthians 6:16, NIV. How can I make such an important choice when my eyes and flesh are clouded over with sin?
What to say a few words about living together. Why is this not right?
1. Jesus taught clearly that sexual relationship of man and woman ought to be faithful and lifelong. Any sexual relationship between man and woman that is not accompanied by intention of lifelong faithfulness is, by definition, displeasing to God and immoral.
2. There is a difference between a public pledge and private promises. Private promises are terribly easy to break. But when I make a pledge before witnesses, I put my whole integrity and public reputation on the line. This is what happens in a marriage.
3. To the unmarried couple we can say, “Either your relationship is committed for life or it is immoral. If it is not immoral, you must be committed for life. In which case, you ought to be willing to stand up and say so.”
4. If children are born to this unrecognized union, it is not good for them. When parents are married, children do better in practically every category we can imagine. The benefits of marriage for children’s well being are clearly documented and overwhelming.
Jesus probably has an eye upon the children- Matthew 19:13-15. Richard Eyre- We now have over 40 years worth of very conclusive statistics that show that children from two parent homes (a mother and a father, remember male and female compliment each other) are at substantially less risk for drug abuse, teen pregnancy, school dropout, suicide, and a whole host of other problems. Statistically they have a better chance of being good students, of feeling well adjusted socially, and of being happy. Too many divorces are justified with the old line about not wanting children to have to continue to be exposed to the tension of a bad relationship. We forget that what children really need to be exposed to is parents trying and working hard to save something that is deeply important. Nothing manifests a parent’s love for a child more than struggling to keep that child’s family together. The old cliche is true, ‘The best thing a father or mother can do for a child is to love that child’s mother or father.’”
