An article in “Christianity Today” suggests that many churches have become segregated - not by race, but by age. Mollie Hemmingway writes about a newly started church that meets in a movie theater. All of the attenders are under 30. They are single, professional, independent and hip. Except that many of them soon discover that a movie theater is not the most practical place for important events in life, such as weddings. And no one can remember a funeral in the churches ten year history.
Hemingway, Mollie Ziegler. "Segregated In A Whole New Way." Christianity Today 54.1 (2010): 62. Academic Search Premier. Web. 1 June 2013.
As we will see from our story of Jacob and his sons, Generational Conflict is not new. It seems that every generation laments over the loss of tradition. Older members of society fear the demise of all that is dear as reckless youth promote their new and untried ideas.
We will draw two principles from this portion of the Joseph story:
Humility from the Old will encourage the young to accomplish great things
Respect from the young will provide honor that is due to their seniors
I. Signs of Generational Conflict in the Story of Joseph.
Four developments in the Joseph story indicate generational conflict between Jacob and his sons.
FIRST, in Gen 42:1we discover that Jacob is a frustrated old man. Genesis 42:1–2 "When Jacob learned that there was grain in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why do you just keep looking at each other?” " "He continued, “I have heard that there is grain in Egypt. Go down there and buy some for us, so that we may live and not die.”"
A new temptation faces us when we get old - FRUSTRATION. We can’t do the things we want to do. Our health diminishes as we realize that many of our goals remain unfulfilled. Notice the description by Solomon. Ecclesiastes 12:1–5 "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them”— " "before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain; " "when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim; " "when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding fades; when men rise up at the sound of birds, but all their songs grow faint; " "when men are afraid of heights and of dangers in the streets; when the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags himself along and desire no longer is stirred. Then man goes to his eternal home and mourners go about the streets."
The description in Ecclesiastes is somewhat depressing because it focuses on the physical realities of diminishing strength. Praise God that we are more than just a physical being! We have hope because there is more to our existence than just our mortal body!
My good friend Paul Bubar summarized the frustrations that often accompany old age. He said to his wife, “Shirley, when ladies get old, they start to nag, and when men get old they start to get grumpy. So if you don’t nag, I won’t get grumpy!”
We can lean from Paul’s advice!
The SECOND evidence of generational conflict in this portion of the story is found in Genesis 42:24 where we discvoer an impatient young man named REUBEN. Genesis 42:22 "Reuben replied, “Didn’t I tell you not to sin against the boy? But you wouldn’t listen! Now we must give an accounting for his blood.”"
Reuben’s impatience and frustration with his younger brothers shows as he reprimands them for disregarding his advice over twenty years earlier when the brothers sold Joseph into slavery. Reuben has his own frustrations, but they are with himself for failing to adequately lead his brothers and protect the young Joseph. Kurt Alland writes, “A telltale sign of lost influence is a failed leader’s gasping protestation, “I told you so!” K. A. Mathews, vol. 1B, Genesis 11:27–50:26, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 786.
A THIRD indication of Generational Conflict is seen in the way that Judah steps in to gently confront his father Jacob in Genesis 42:1-5. Here, we see a Capable Son. Genesis 43:1–5 "Now the famine was still severe in the land. " "So when they had eaten all the grain they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, “Go back and buy us a little more food.” " "But Judah said to him, “The man warned us solemnly, ‘You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ " "If you will send our brother along with us, we will go down and buy food for you. " "But if you will not send him, we will not go down, because the man said to us, ‘You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ ”"
Jacob is clearly in the wrong here. He endangers the survival of the entire family in order to keep the other brothers from returning to Egypt with Benjamin, as Joseph had emphatically demanded. No doubt, Jacob’s fears were justified. He knew the jealousy of the brothers toward Joseph, and now toward Benjamin. Jacob still held Benjamin too close. As a result, his judgment was clouded.
Jacob’s reaction to his troubles was simply to say, “Woe is me!”
Genesis 42:36 "Their father Jacob said to them, “You have deprived me of my children. Joseph is no more and Simeon is no more, and now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is against me!”"
Genesis 42:38 "But Jacob said, “My son will not go down there with you; his brother is dead and he is the only one left. If harm comes to him on the journey you are taking, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow.”"
Genesis 43:6 "Israel asked, “Why did you bring this trouble on me by telling the man you had another brother?”"
Judah steps in to speak wisdom to his father. Judah is the younger man who actually knows better than his father. He treats Jacob with respect but he must step in or the family will die.
Ecclesiastes speaks of the need for those in authority to recognize when a younger person is speaking wisdom. Ecclesiastes 4:13 "Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning."
Judah is the voice of wisdom to his father, the Patriarch Israel.,
The FOURTH evidence of Generational Conflict is found in A Wise Father. Jacob’s failure was exposed by his son, but he still contributed to the success of the mission to buy food in Egypt. Jacob’s experience taught him how to negotiate in a situation like this one. “Bring gifts!” he said. Genesis 43:11 "Then their father Israel said to them, “If it must be, then do this: Put some of the best products of the land in your bags and take them down to the man as a gift—a little balm and a little honey, some spices and myrrh, some pistachio nuts and almonds."
Although Jacob hated to see Benjamin go, he knew it was best and he did what he could to ensure the success of the mission. Alland writes about this part of the story, “Jacob knows the value of a lavish gift (cf. Esau, 32:10), practicing the sage advice of Proverbs, “A gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great” (Prov 18:16). K. A. Mathews, vol. 1B, Genesis 11:27–50:26, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 788.
SO, WE SEE TENSION BETWEEN THE GENERATIONS. WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THIS PART OF THE JOSEPH STORY?
In order to understand and wisely deal with generational conflict, we must ask,
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
What is each generation seeking from the other?
In our YOUTH, we look for RESPECT.
We want to contribute, to make a difference. We want to know where we fit in. Songwriter Michael W Smith identified this feeling when he wrote a popular song addressing young people, “My Place in this World.” We will fight to protect our honor.
In “Back to the Future,” All Biff had to do to get Marty McFly to overreact was to call him “chicken.” McFly was quick to defend his honor, to gain respect, even if it meant doing something unwise or risky.
But what about the OLDER GENERATION? What are they looking for?
In our later years, we look for a lot of things... Our glasses, our keys, our wallet....
It reminds me of a poem I discovered years ago, written about the humorous aspects of old age!
Just a line to say I’m living’
That I’m not among the dead:
Tho’ I’m getting more forgetful
And “mixed up” in the head.
I’ve got used to my arthritis,
To my dentures I’m resigned;
I can manage my bifocals,
But, how I miss my mind.
For sometimes I can’t remember,
When I stand at the foot of the stair,
If I must go up for something
Or I’ve just come down from there
And before the fridge so often
My poor mind is filled with doubt,
Have I just put food away – or
Have I come to take some out.
And there’s time when it is dark
With my nightcap on my head,
I don’t know if I’m retiring
Or just getting out of bed.
So if it’s my turn to write you’
There’s no need in getting sore,
I may think that I have written
And don’t want to be a bore.
So remember I do love you
And I wish that you were near,
But now it’s nearly mail time
So I must say ‘goodbye, dear”,
Here I stand beside the mail box
With a face so very red,
Instead of mailing you my letter
I just opened it instead.
In our later years, I think it boils down to this: WE LOOK FOR LEGACY - we look for meaning in the things that we have accomplished. We want to leave something behind. For some, it is an inheritance, for others, it is a business or collection to be cherished by others. For those with children or grandchildren, it is the knowledge that they will be OK, that they are walking with God and that they will be taken care of. We all want to know that we mattered, that what we did was important, and that our lives made a difference.
With the understanding of these two priorities, what can each generation do to bless the other? How can we help one another meet our goals and build stronger families, churches and communities? We can do this by the
GIFTS THAT WE NEED TO GIVE TO ONE ANOTHER
For the older generation, the gift that we can give the younger generation is HUMILITY. By trusting them to use their talents and by yielding authority to them, we will help young people to accomplish great things.
Jacob let his sons down by focusing on what he could not have. Judah’s wisdom saved the family! Stuart Briscoe writes about this passage in Genesis. “There comes a time for the older men to allow the younger generation to take the lead. If they hand over the reins with joy, they may watch with delight as the young men succeed. If they don’t, they widen the generation gap into a gulf that becomes the grave for promising endeavors.” (Stuart Briscoe, “One Year Devotions for Men” (May 6).
For the YOUNGER GENERATION: Respect from the young will provide honor that is due to their seniors. We live in a time where our culture has lost respect. We see this every day in a completely casual culture. The impact of this is devastating.
Recently, the mayor of Wildwood NJ instituted a new law for the Boardwalk of this ocean tourist community. No more saggy pants! According to an ABC news article, “That's why the mayor of Wildwood, N.J., is leading the charge on a saggy pants ban on the beach town's boardwalk. "Their whole rear ends are sticking out," Mayor Ernie Troiano Jr. said. "These kids have no respect for anyone including themselves." http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/wildwood-saggy-pants-ban/story?id=19295215&pt=tAD3SCT8P7?date=30330634#.Uaqfl5wQtms
Scripture commands us to respect our elders!
Leviticus 19:32 "“ ‘Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord."
Exodus 20:12 "“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."
Proverbs 20:29 "The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old."
Zechariah 8:4 "This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Once again men and women of ripe old age will sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with cane in hand because of his age."
Let me give you some practical requests
Teach your children to use Titles of respect for those who are older. - sir or mame, or Aunt or uncle
Treat older people with respect
Listen to their advice
Don’t segregate those who are older
Job 12:12 "Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?"
Proverbs 16:31 "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life."
To the older generation, exercise humility in your dealing with young people in your family and in the church. Give them a chance to excel! Avoid the temptation to do something because you can do it better, or because you don’t want to relinquish authority. They may try and fail, but they will learn, and they will have more respect for you if you trust them enough to try.
We can learn much from Jacob and his sons. Let’s put it into practice!
Isaiah 5:3 "“Now you dwellers in Jerusalem and men of Judah, judge between me and my vineyard."
Zechariah 8:4 "This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Once again men and women of ripe old age will sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with cane in hand because of his age."
