Daddy Come Home February 17, 2013
Introduction
A The role of a husband / father is easily understood, yet hard to live out.
1 One Reason: Ignorance
a He doesn’t understand his responsibilities toward his family under God.
aa His paycheck is his duty & done
bb Shocked when his family explodes with problems in his face.
b Not been given proper instruction
2 Second Reason: Irresponsibility
a He knows his duties, mantle on him but just fails to live up to them (work, job, business, fishing, hunting, resting)
b (IL.) A judge about to sentence a mans young son to prison for a crime the youth committed.
c “Sentence me! Sentence me! I’ve been so busy all my life making money, going through the office of my lodge, serving on civic committees, that I failed to concern myself with my boy.”
3 Third Reason: Immaturity & childishness
a Many men have grown up physically, but still have a boy living in them.
11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 1 Cor 13:11 (NASB)
b A young boy must have a father/ma role model to teach them how to talk, walk, and understand as a man. - If not, boy.
aa 5 yr old hitting his mom with a plastic hammer, slapping his sister... it ain’t cute! If you don’t stop him he’ll be hissing his wife and abusing his kids.
bb 13 yr old doesn’t take responsibility & man must step in and teach him, “These are your responsibilities!”
cc If he’s a momma’s boy he’ll expect someone to wait on him & bail him out his whole like. (30 yr old with a 13 yr old brain expecting his wife to be his mother)
B What America needs is a generation of godly fathers to arise who know their place/mantle in the home.
1 He’ll be the leader in the home!
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Eph 5:22-24 (NASB)
a There are things, responsibilities that only Daddy can do. (There are feminine tasks & masculine tasks)
b Scripture commands the wife to looks to her husband for authority
aa Every woman is not to be in submission to every man... your husband.
bb She’s under his authority because she is under the authority of the Lord. (She follows this biblical chain of command because she’s obedient to her Savior)
2 He’ll be a comprehensive authority. (Vs. 24) “...in everything”
a A man must take control and leaderhsip of his family.
aa Joshua in the O.T. spoke for his whole family.
bb Dr. Joshua Bierer (British Psychiatrist) described American men as “a bunch of weak-kneed, lily-livered sissies”
cc He surmised women had been compelled to take over in the home & American as “the fatherless society where husbands are not husbands. All the woman are crying out for a strong man and he’s just not there.”
b We joke about “who wears the pants” in the family.
aa The wife is frustrated being both father & mother.
bb She becomes insecure & children learn disobedience.
cc Without fathers in authority, children are more likely to become homosexuals. (Confused)
dd The unisex movement is a big result of men failing to lead.
C The ideal man is a strong, manly, & authoritative leader.
I A loving Husband makes a difference when he loves his woman.
A A husbands love will make his wife more beautiful.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; Eph 5:25-28 (NASB)
1 Love your wife as Christ love His bride, the church.
a The love of Christ is sacrificial.
aa He died, laid down His life for her life; We should be willing to lay down our lives for our wives, kids.
bb The man of God gives his life in labor to provide for His family - Sacrifice yourselves for your family.
b So many sacrifice their families for a job, hobby.
c Men, our lives belong to our families.
2 Love your wife faithfully.
a Do you know when Jesus stops loving us? (When we fail? Disappoint Him?)
b Many men who are unfaithful say, “I fell out of love.”
aa They don’t know what real love is then.
bb Real love, God-love, Genuine love is faithful in the face of great difficulties.
c 4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never fails; 1 Cor 13:4-8 (NASB)
3 Loving your wife will transform her. (Vs. 26)
a Christ’s love is making his bride better! (Removing every spot/wrinkle) Husband your love for your wife with make a better and more beautiful person.
b A woman who is truly loved by her husband will glow a beauty that no amount of Maybellen would ever give.
aa I believe most emotional problems that afflict women could be solved if they were secure in their husbands love.
bb She needs to be told & shown she’s loved: Most feel possessed rather than loved.
c It’s like the boy looking at a photo album with his dad & saw a picture of his dad & mom shortly after they were married & he asked, “Dad, is that when mom came to work for us?” The wife should know she is loved.
B A man who loves his wife will be her provider.
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,30 because we are members of His body.31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife , and the two shall become one flesh.32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Eph 5:29-33 (NASB)
1 A man who fails to provide for his home is “worse than an infidel.”
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Tim 5:8 (KJV)
a Physical Provision (vs. 29)
aa Nourish means to rear & feed.
bb Means shelter, clothing & food.
cc Does not mean to make the family materialistic.
b Emotional provision (vs. 29)
aa Cherish means to spread wings over as a bird does the nest. (Men protect their family)
bb Your family should feel secure & warm... more than physical.
cc Means you care for their emotional needs too!
dd Show your wife you appreciate her, show her consideration.
c Sexual Provision
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NASB)
Veiled reference to sex in marriage.
aa Know how to love his wife physically.
bb She needs to feel like your queen, greatly desired.
cc She’s your earthly treasure.
d Spiritual Provision
aa It’s every mans job to meet his families spiritual needs.
bb Bible read daily, pray daily, build scripture into his home. - teach his family how to live by the book.
cc Sunday, VBS, Projects in church, Men’s prayer breakfast, Prayer meetings, Choir!
II Daddy, please change so your family can change.
A How do we get homes again?
1 For many years in Jacob’s life he had been a godly man. (Isaacs son, seen favor/blessing/dreams & visions/built altars/heard from God/wrestled with either a preincarnate Jesus or an Angel of the Lord.)
a Now for many years he had let his spiritual guard down, got lazy spiritually, prayer life, got apathetic in raising his kids & covering for his wife.
b His daughter Dinah, started running with the wrong girls (defiled & deflowered) Sons plotted & killed the male population of a whole city.
c His wife & kids had brought in foreign idols into the home & he didn’t even know about it!
19 When Laban had gone to shear his flock, then Rachel stole the household idols that were her father's. Gen 31:19 (NASB)
32 "The one with whom you find your gods shall not live; in the presence of our kinsmen point out what is yours among my belongings and take it for yourself." For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them. Gen 31:32 (NASB)
2 1 Then God said to Jacob, "Arise, go up to Bethel and live there, and make an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau."2 So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, "Put away the foreign gods which are among you, and purify yourselves and change your garments;3 and let us arise and go up to Bethel, and I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone."4 So they gave to Jacob all the foreign gods which they had and the rings which were in their ears, and Jacob hid them under the oak which was near Shechem.5 As they journeyed, there was a great terror upon the cities which were around them, and they did not pursue the sons of Jacob.6 So Jacob came to Luz (that is, Bethel), which is in the land of Canaan, he and all the people who were with him.7 He built an altar there, and called the place El -bethel, because there God had revealed Himself to him when he fled from his brother. Gen 35:1-7(NASB)
a God commanded Jacob to go to Bethel & settle down & dwell there.
aa Build an altar as a symbol repentance & as a witness to his family.
bb Place of sacrifice & a place of prayer.
b As soon as dad got right with God so did the family!
aa They brought the idols (vs.2) & the governments.
bb They went to Bethel (House of God) & the godly father put a seal of protection on his family.
cc His family would have been killed/lost had they left the leadership & covering of Jacob.
B Fathers, your spiritual condition sets the direction/pace of your home.
1 You need to be aware of what comes in your home because what they bring in can become idols.
a God of television, pleasure, possessions & permission.
aa You have the right/responsibility to go through their room, texts, ipods, history.
bb The demons of hell constantly set before them delights of the world. - The role of the father is to clean the house of idols & bring his children home to God.
b It’s also necessary to require church attendance.
aa “I’m gonna let me kids make up their mind.”
bb How foolish! A child doesn’t make up his own mind, he/she learns only the things to which they are exposed to.
cc I know this isn’t culturally acceptable, but I don’t give two rips about what my culture is passing off as acceptable today!
2 Jacob cared what his kids wore. (You’re not dressing like the world!) Fathers, it’s your place to teach your children decency & modesty
a (IL.) An evangelist was staying with a wealthy rancher, toured his ranch. Bragging how he & several other ranchers had their own met (Several thousands of dollars of year for this mans services)
aa Several experts on pay roll to look after the breeding / feeding of cattle.
bb later than evening at supper, a car pulled up and the ranchers teenage daughter can dashing down the stairs in short shorts & a halter top screaming, “I’m coming.”
cc Embarrassed father said, “You can’t do anything with kids these days.”
dd Evangelist replied, “I wish to God you cared as much for your daughter as you do for your cattle.”
b Church, we need men to restore their families to God!
aa Who will clean houses, closets, and bury the idols, trash at the foot of the old rugged cross.
bb Who want their families to know the God they know.
cc You can’t go to Bethel until you first get your house in order!
3 Jacob softly lead his family though hostile territory because he got right with God.
5 As they journeyed, there was a great terror upon the cities which were around them, and they did not pursue the sons of Jacob. Gen 35:5 (NASB)
a The best guarantee of success/protection for our kids is for us to be right with God.
aa Cars, guns, clothes - No guarantee of success.
bb A godly daddy sets a seal of protection over his family, children, against the enemy.
b It’s our responsibility to protect!
4 If you love your family, gently love them you can take your family home to God.
a You gotta love them enough to put other things aside & give them what they need... you!
b Men, you’ve got to stop out & lead our of love.
aa If men strong in the Spirit would step up to lead our families in God’s way, Wives & children will follow.
bb God will give us Christians homes.
Conclusion
A Men, I’ve given you the areas you must love & provide for your wife.
1 Provision: Physical, Emotional, Sexual, Spiritual
2 Your love transforms your wife when you love her faithfully in the Spirit.
B The greatest catalyst in your home, men is when you change.
1 Take our the idols, teach decency/modesty, take them to church.
2 The children are crying out for parents to take them home, home to God.
3 The greatest heritage a child can have is a godly father.
C Letter written by a 15 year old Girl:
“A great man died today. He wasn’t a world leader or a famous doctor or a war hero or a spirts figure or a business tycoon. But he was a great man. He was my father.
He didn’t get his picture in the paper for heading up things. I guess you might say he was a person who never cared for credit or honors. He did corny things, like pay his bills on time, go to church on Sunday, and hold an office in the PTA. He helped his kids with their homework and drove his wife to the shopping center to do the grocery buying on Friday night. He got his kicks hauling his teenagers and their friends to and from football games. He enjoyed the simple things like a picnic in the park, country music, mowing the grass, and running with the dogs.
Tonight is the first night of my life without him. I don’t know what to do with myself, so I am writing this letter. I am sorry now for the times I didn’t show him the proper respect. But I am thankful for many things. I’m thankful that I was able to let him know how much I loved him. He died with a smile on his face. He knew he was a success as a husband and a father.”
I wonder how many millionaires can say that,
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