Summary: There are many controversial issues that cause us to devour one another instead of “receive one another” as Paul commands us in Rom. 15:7. This message discusses Paul's instructions about disputable matters that believers divide over in our churches.

Accept One Another

Message 4 in “One Anothers” series

Chuck Sligh

September 27, 2013

A PowerPoint presentation for this message and all the sermons in the One Another Series is available upon request at chucksligh@hotmail.com.

NOTE: The H.A.R.M.O.N.Y. acrostic regarding Roman’s 14 and 15 and many of the key thoughts in this sermon are an adaptation of someone else’s original work. However, I failed to notate the original source and cannot seem to find it to give proper attribution. If you know who the original author is, I would appreciate it if you would drop me a line so I can give credit where credit is due.

TEXT: Romans 15:7 – “Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.”

INTRODUCTION

There are a multitude of controversial issues that cause us to devour one another instead of “receive one another” as Paul commands us in verse 7. Satan is a master at using controversial and extra-biblical issues to distract the church.

Illus. – A former police officer tells of the tactics of a group of thieves. – He says:

They enter the store as a group. One or two separate themselves from the group, and the others start a loud commotion in another section of the store. This grabs the attention of the clerks and customers. As all eyes are turned to the disturbance, the accomplices fill their pockets with merchandise and cash, leaving before anyone suspects. Hours—sometimes even days—later, the victimized merchant realizes things are missing and calls the police. Too late. (Tom McHaffie)

I wonder how often Satan uses this strategy! We’re seduced by distractions, while our churches are ransacked. Many of our churches have lost not their merchandise, but their MISSION, and “a church without a mission will soon be out of COMmission.”

So to protect the church from being distracted over controversial, extra-biblical issues, Paul tells us that we’re to “receive ye one another.”

What does Paul mean to “receive” one another? Vines Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words informs us that the Greek word used here means “to take to oneself or to receive…suggesting a welcome.” Today we would probably use the word “accept” for what Paul is talking about here. Paul is saying “Accept one another,” which is the opposite of “reject.”

But how can we ACCEPT one another with so many controversial issues that divide us?

Paul gave the church in Rome some practical, step-by-step instructions on how to be in H.A.R.M.O.N.Y. with one another in Romans 14:1-15:7 in these kinds of divisive issues. In our “One Anothers” study last week, we talked about how to have harmony in interpersonal relationships with things like personal hurts and offences. Today, the focus is when there are disagreements about beliefs and practices.

You know, today’s churches have much in common with the Roman church. The Roman church was NOT divided in their FAITH, but they were divided on many NONESSENTIAL issues. There were some in the church who had strict religiously-based beliefs about things like meat offered to idols, particular days of worship, and types of diets, and they thought that those who disagreed with their strict beliefs were what we would call today “LIBERAL.” Others, however, had an equally strong belief that in Christ they were free from such constraints and they considered the opposing camp to be “LEGALISTIC.”

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Paul says that the solution to all of this is to stop CONDEMNING one another and start ACCEPTING one another. Let’s discover “Paul’s Seven Steps to H.A.R.M.O.N.Y.” on disputable matters.

[NOTE: The key words forming the acrostic in uppercase lettering.]

I. HOLD back judgment on disputable questions. – Romans 14:1 – “He who is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.”

The last part of the verse where the KJV translates “…but not to doubtful disputations” literally means, “but not to quarrel over” doubtful disputations.

Well, what is a “doubtful disputation”? It’s an issue the Bible doesn’t clearly address; it’s in dispute; it’s a “gray” area; it’s an issue about which Christians may legitimately have differing opinions.

We’re not talking about clear commands in the Word of God, or things that violate a clear biblical principle of God’s Word.

For instance, we’re not talking about, say, ADULTERY. – The Bible clearly condemns that, and it’s not being judgmental to condemn adultery. Nor are we talking about things like drunkenness and revelry, which the Bible clearly forbids. So if you exhort a believer not to commit adultery, get drunk or bar-hop…you’re not being judgmental; you’re trying to rescue a fellow believer from sin.

But what about gray areas?—issues the Bible does NOT clearly address?—about which good Christians dispute because the Bible is not decisively clear about? THAT’S what Paul was addressing in this passage.

The particular disputable matters PAUL was dealing with concerned diet and dates that came about because there were both Jews and Gentiles in the church. Some, especially Jews, believed that certain days—like the Sabbath or certain holy days, like feast days or Passover—should be more sacred than others. Some also held to certain dietary rules, like not eating meat—probably because the meat in the marketplace was not kosher, and also had been offered to idols. The other group believed that all days were the same and if you gave thanks to God for the meat, there was no problem with eating it, even if offered to idols.

Well, who was wrong?—Paul says that NEITHER group is wrong because these issues are NONESSENTIAL; they’re NOT CRITICAL to Christian faith and practice.

What are some examples of disputable matters among Christians TODAY?—In things like music styles, worship styles, the Bible versions debate and methodologies of evangelism and discipleship.

And this is nothing new: When I was younger, people fought tooth and nail over such issues as clothing, hairstyles, make-up, going to movies, and on and on it went.

If the Scriptures don’t speak CLEARLY on an issue, it’s because God has given us FREEDOM to choose in this area according to our own discernment. The Roman believers were free to choose to keep the Sabbath as a sacred day if they felt they should, but they were also free to choose to hold all days as being the same if they felt they had that liberty. Likewise, they were free to choose NOT to eat meat offered to idols if it offended their conscience due to their former idolatrous life, but they were also free to choose TO eat meat offered to idols if it didn’t bother their conscience.

There are many things that Christians are free to do or free NOT to do, but the one thing we are NOT free to do is to JUDGE others and quarrel about disputable matters.

II. The second step to H.A.R.M.O.N.Y. concerning disputable matters is to AVOID looking down on those who don’t share your convictions about doubtful issues. – Romans 14:2-3 – “For one believeth he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs. 3 Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received [that is, “accepted”] him.”

I’ve found that in disputable things, both sides of an issue can be JUST as judgmental: Sometimes a person who feels strongly against a certain practice or behavior will look at those who see nothing wrong with it and say, “Well, he’s a LIBERAL.” But the other side can be just as judgmental and look down on the person with a strong belief about a certain practice and say, “Well, he’s such a LEGALIST.”

Notice verse 3, where Paul condemns BOTH of these judgmental attitudes. Paul says that the one who feels he is FREE from certain constraints in disputable matters must not look down on those who DON’T believe they have such freedom. But he also says that those who FEEL THEY MUST FOLLOW CERTAIN RULES must not condemn those who DON’T follow their rules.

Why not? Look at verse 4 – “Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: [i.e., “he will indeed stand”]: for God is able to make him stand.”

Paul says, “Hey, don’t judge your brother, because he’s not YOUR servant, but GOD’S. He’ll not answer to YOU, but to GOD. And God has accepted them BOTH. So we DARE not look down on the one whom GOD has accepted.”

III. The third step to H.A.R.M.O.N.Y. is REALIZE that you must live for the Lord alone. – Romans 14:5-12 – “One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. 6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks. 7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. 8 For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's. 9 For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living. 10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. 11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. 12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”

What is Paul teaching in this passage? He’s saying this: “Look, some people feel they CAN do some things and they do them unto the Lord and some feel they CAN’T. But they’re both motivated by the same animating principle—whatever they practice, they’re doing it unto the Lord.”

The key is to make sure that whatever you do, you’re honestly trying to please the LORD. Live unto the LORD; live to please HIM, not others, or your own desires.

So, he concludes in verse 10, “Where do you get off judging a believer because he disagrees with you on a disputable issue? How can you ‘set at nought’ your brother.”

“Set at nought” means to “despise” or “reject” or “withhold fellowship from.”

So Paul says in verse 12, “We’ll ALL stand before the judgment seat of Christ and EVERY ONE OF US will give account of himself to God. So you let GOD do the judging. As for you…accept your brother and don’t judge him.”

IV. Number 4, MAKE sure you don’t put obstacles in the way of others. – Romans 14:13-18 – “Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. 14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. [i.e., “in love”]. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died. 16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of: 17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. 18 For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men.”

Some people are stronger in faith than others and can exercise liberty in certain things that weaker brethren might not.

And those who are STRONGER in faith must be careful not to flaunt their liberty before those who don’t feel they have that liberty. Some Christians need more protections from certain temptations to sin, and you wouldn’t want to be responsible for causing a brother to fall back into sin.

And even if something may not be inherently sinful, if a person BELIEVES it is sinful for him, it BECOMES sinful for him to violate his conscience by doing it. That’s what Paul means down in verse 23, where he says, “And he that doubteth is damned [i.e., “condemned”, or “judged”] if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.”

So if the exercise of your liberty in a disputable matter causes another believer to violate his conscience and then to sin, Paul says in verse 15, “you’re no longer walking in love”—but in selfishness and you can “destroy” your brother for whom Christ died.

Paul includes himself in the group that is strong in the faith and has the freedom to eat anything, but he says that it’s better to voluntarily restrict one’s freedom than to cause others to stumble by exercising it.

V. The next point is this: ONLY do what leads to peace and mutual edification. – Romans 14:19-21 – “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things whereby one may edify another. 20 For meat destroys not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. 21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.”

What is good is BAD if it leads to disharmony and does not build up the church. So Paul exhorts us to follow the things that engender peace and which build up.

But Paul says that a lot of things people get in a huff about really aren’t sinful issues, but if my exercising that liberty causes a brother to stumble or be offended or is spiritually weakened, we ought to avoid it in their presence.

Now don’t get your moo-moo in a bunch over the word “offended” in verse 21. I’ve heard preachers use this to say that if what you do offends someone, you shouldn’t do it, and I’ll tell you what: people can sure get “offended” easily. But a closer look at this word in the Greek shows that it means something different from the English word “offend” which the dictionary defines as “to cause somebody anger, resentment, or hurt.” The Greek word is skandaliz’o (pron. skan-dal-id’-zo) ?Grk: s?a?da??????which means, “to entrap, trip up; or entice to sin or apostasy.” Paul is saying that you should LIMIT your liberty if it can cause a weak brother or sister to fall back into sin, NOT if it gets them in a huff because of your liberty.

VI. Number 6—NEVER put on parade your personal convictions. – Verse 22 – “Have you faith? [by which he means, “do you have faith to practice a disputable matter”] have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in the thing which he alloweth.”

Paul says that just as a person with liberty shouldn’t flaunt his liberty, neither should you flaunt your personal convictions nor try to force others to your point of view.

Why does Paul tell us to keep our personal convictions about disputable matters between ourselves and God in verse 22? Because our personal convictions are just that—PERSONAL! If they were meant for everyone, God would have put them in His Word! But He DIDN’T; He gave them to YOU—so you shouldn’t strut around telling everyone all the things they shouldn’t do on disputable matters because YOU don’t do them.

How could you “condemn yourself in the thing you allow,” as Paul puts it? By having a spirit of pride, thinking that you’re somehow more spiritual because of your strong convictions on disputable issues. If someone asks you about your beliefs on disputable matters, they’re certainly nothing to be ashamed of, because they’re what you believe.

But be careful not to equate personal convictions with spirituality. They CAN be a sign of spirituality if you do them to obey God’s leading in your own life or to protect you from evil things you have weaknesses for. But they can also be a source of pride, as with the Pharisees who thought that their strict adherence to the Law meant they were spiritual. In fact, Jesus’ harshest condemnation was reserved for the Pharisees— those most conscientious of all the things they DID NOT DO for God’s sake. The surest evidence of TRUE spirituality is genuine humility.

VII. Lastly, Paul teaches us that to have H.A.R.M.O.N.Y, we must YIELD personal preferences for the common good. – Romans 15:1-7 – “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. 3 For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, ‘The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.' [Now skip down to verse 7] 7 Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.”

Paul’s saying here that we should not insist on our own point of view, but seek to please one another and to work towards unity.

Paul holds up Jesus as the ultimate example of someone who, rather than pleasing Himself, gave up His personal preferences for the good of mankind. We know Jesus didn’t personally prefer to suffer and die on the cross. In the garden before His arrest, He asked the Father if it were possible for that cup of suffering to pass from Him—but also prayed, “Not my will, but YOURS be done.”

If Jesus didn’t please Himself, how can YOU or I? If you insist on having YOUR own way in disputable matters, or if you insist that others must conform to YOUR views, then you’re missing the point. Paul concludes by saying, “Receive ye one another.”

And HOW are we to “receive one another”?—Now this is important: Verse 7 says, “as Christ also received us to the glory of God.” How has Christ accepted us? According to anything we have done or deserve?—NEVER! According to our views on this or that issue?—NEVER! Jesus has accepted us totally by GRACE.

CONCLUSION

When love prevails among believers, especially in times of strong disagreement, it presents to the world an indisputable mark that we’re true followers of Jesus Christ. When love does NOT prevail among believers in these times, it shows the world a sad witness.

The real question is: What will Grace Baptist Church show to the world? That depends on how YOU who are what makes up Grace Baptist deal with disputable issues.

So let’s summarize Paul’s message: Basically it’s as simple as this – DON’T JUDGE ONE ANOTHER IN DISPUTABLE THINGS.

• If you have strong beliefs against certain disputable issues—don’t JUDGE those who don’t and don’t PARADE your list of convictions, but just live them out with love and integrity.

• And if you believe you can have liberty in some of these kinds of issues—likewise, don’t JUDGE those who don’t and don’t FLAUNT your liberty before those whose consciences are weak.

God help each of us not to be distracted by a bunch of controversial, disputable things. Rather, let’s focus on love and Christ and His Kingdom and reaching those without Christ.

Or as my preacher used to say all the time, “Let’s keep the main thing the main thing.”

And let’s focus on what the Word is clear and decisive on. There’s a reason He was so clear and decisive: They’re what He wanted us to focus on! And there’s enough of that to keep me busy for the rest of my Christian life.