JAMES 3:5-10 “TAMING THE TONGUE”
A) There was this cartoon from leadership magazine that shows a line of pews and the same
sentence being passed from pew to pew!
* 1st pew: My ear kind of hurts ... 2nd pew: The pastor has an earache.
* 3rd pew: The pastor got a hearing aid ... 4th pew: The pastor is having trouble hearing.
* 5th pew: The pastor got a double earring ... 6th pew: An old lady with a cane is walking out and
says, “That does it, I’m outta here! The pastor’s got a double earring.”
B) There are times that what we say can do nothing but cause trouble and difficulties!
* In fact, our words have a way of creating more trouble than we intend.
* Whether it’s the barbershop, restaurant, bank, grocery store, or even at church, your words can
cut like a knife and do permanent damage.
C) The Bible has a lot to say about the right and wrong use of the tongue!
* Speech is the most likely thing that we will do wrong.
* Everyone is guilty of sinning with the tongue, even Moses ... Psalm 106:32-33 “They angered
him also at the waters of strife, so that it went ill with Moses for their sakes: Because they .......”
* Moses sinned with his tongue and was then forbidden to enter the Promised Land.
D) James uses 3 different objects in his discussion of the tongue ... 1: The bit in the horse’s
mouth (v.3) ... The bit is such a small, insignificant thing!
* An average horse can weigh anywhere from 900-1300 pounds ... And even a young child that
weighs less than 100 pounds can make that horse go where he wants to with that bit in its mouth.
E) 2: The helm of a large ship (v.4) ... You have a large sailing vessel that is moved along by the
wind, yet the direction of the ship is controlled by a small rudder!
* The ship can even find itself in fierce winds, yet by the rudder the governor (pilot) can control
where he wants the ship to go and bring it to safety.
* In each case, the bit is used for the benefit of the rider, and the rudder is used for the benefit of the
pilot ... And James says in v.5a “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things.”
F) The tongue is a small member, but it can be very beneficial!
* The tongue can be the instrument by which words of love can be spoken to the lonely ... It can be
an instrument by which words of comfort can be spoken to the brokenhearted.
* It can be an instrument by which words of encouragement can be spoken to the discouraged.
* It’s the instrument by which words of direction can be given to the confused ... Think of the many
people who have been saved because of the words someone shared with them.
G) But on the other hand, the tongue can be very destructive through gossiping!
* We don’t take gossiping seriously enough ... What exactly is gossip?
* Webster defines gossip in two ways, both as a noun and as a verb.
* As a noun, a gossip is a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others.
* As a verb, gossip is a rumor or a report of an intimate nature.
H) The sad reality of the matter is this ... A gossiper is a person who will talk about others with
you, and then talk to others about you!
* The best definition of gossip is this ... Gossip is saying something, even if it’s true, with the intent
to cause personal harm. (I’m gonna say more about this sin a little later in this message)
* James says the helm is small, but can direct the course of a large ship ... So it is with the tongue.
* The tongue can change a person’s course they are traveling, and cause shipwreck of their faith.
I) 3: A small fire (v.5b-6) ... The word “matter” in v.5 is the Greek word “hule” ( hoo-lay’ ) and
it means “a forest; i.e. fuel!”
* The meaning is that a great forest is set on fire by only a little spark of fire.
* Most fires start with just a little flame, then grows into a damaging blaze.
* So it is with the tongue ... The tongue is a fire that can set a whole forest of lives and
relationships on fire, consuming and destroying all that lies in its path.
J) One can do more harm by his words than good by his deeds!
* Just think about the great and terrible damage that has been done by the fire of words, rumors,
talebearing and sharp, cutting remarks.
* Think about the marriages that have been destroyed ... Children who have been disturbed ...
* Friendships that have been damaged ... And the reputations of preachers that have been ruined.
* The list could go on, but the point is well made ... The tongue can be a little fire that sets ablaze
and consumes a whole forest of people and relationships.
K) A woman’s body was found ... She had committed suicide!
* And found pinned to her coat was a note, and as expected, the note explained the reason the
woman took her life ... The note consisted of only two words, “They said.”
L) Let’s consider some sins of the tongue today, and I hope it will encourage us to use our
tongue for God and not for satan!
* Prov. 15:1-2 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue
of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.”
* If people would practice these two verses of Scripture, it would do wonders in their life.
* But satan and the flesh get a hold of the tongue, and the results are terrible.
* Perhaps if we consider some of the sins of the tongue, it might encourage us to use our gift of
speech more carefully. * Here are some sins of the tongue .......
(1) LYING! * Prov. 6:16-17 says that “God hates a lying tongue.”
A) Prov. 12:22 “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his .......”
* In Prov. 12:18, Solomon suggests that lies are like cutting swords, but truth is like a healing
medicine, and v.19 says the truth is eternal, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.
* And then in v.20, he explains that it is deceit in the heart that makes a statement a lie.
* Matt. 12:34 “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”
B) A person may say something of an untruth, but if it was not from an evil heart, we can’t label
him a liar ... For instance ... If you asked me what time it is, and I say .......
* In order to be a liar, the statement must be a willful, deliberate lie from an evil heart.
* Webster says a lie is “an untrue statement made with intent to deceive.”
* When we speak with an intent to deceive, hurt, or destroy, that’s an evil heart.
C) Prov. 17:4 “A wicked doer giveth .......” – This indicates that liars enjoy listening to liars!
* Eph. 4:25 “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are
members one of another.” * Don’t lie ... Tell the truth.
* Prov. 19:5; 9 (Repeated twice) “A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh
lies shall not escape.” ... Except v.9b says “... and he that speaketh lies shall perish.”
* Hell is waiting for the one who loveth and maketh a lie – Rev. 22:15 – Rev. 21:8 “All liars ...”
(2) FLATTERING!
A) Flattery, of course, is a form of lying, but it’s so dangerous, that we want to give it separate
attention – Prov. 26:28 “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a .......”
* Prov. 29:5 compares flattery to a dangerous net spread before an innocent man’s feet.
* Do you want to see an X-ray of a flatterer’s mouth? ... Look at Psalm 5:9 .......
B) Flattery is “insincere or excessive praise given by one who has selfish motives!”
* Flatter and flutter belong to the same family of words, and you can just see the flatterer as he
flutters all over his victim, trying to impress him.
* We are warned not to meddle with people given to flattery – Prov. 20:19 “He that goeth .......”
* Prov. 28:23 “He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour .......”
(3) TALEBEARING! * Moses warned about this sin in Lev. 19:16 “Thou shalt not go up and ...”
A) A talebearer is one who runs from person to person telling matters that ought to be concealed,
whether they are true or not!
* Prov. 11:13 “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth .......”
B) Webster also defines talebearing as “spreading harmful gossip or rumors!”
* The things that go in one ear and out the other, do not hurt near as bad as those things that go in
one ear, get all mixed up, and then slip out the mouth.
C) The one who enjoys listening to gossip is the one who turns right around and gossips himself!
* An old Spanish proverb states, “Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.”
* Prov. 6:19 God hates “a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among ...”
* God puts lying, and sowing discord among the brethren in the same category as He does witches,
wizards, worshipping graven images, homosexuality, and many other sins.
D) Gossip doesn’t need to be false ... There’s plenty of truth that shouldn’t be passed around!
* A true child of God will not reveal sin, but will try to help the person to overcome the sin.
* Prov. 10:12 “... but love covereth all sin.” ... 1 Pet. 4:8 “... love shall cover the multitude of sins.”
E) The heart controls the ears as well as the lips!
* Prov. 25:23 “The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting .......”
* If you listen to gossip, you’re just as guilty as the one gossiping.
* Don’t let your ears be a trash can where people dump their garbage!
F) I wonder ... How many people have been wounded by the talebearer?
* Prov. 18:19 “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are
like the bars of a castle.” * THE BIBLE HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT TALEBEARING.
* 1 Tim. 5:13 “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not
only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.”
* 2 Thess. 3:11 “For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not
at all, but are busybodies.”
G) Busybody: A person who pries into the affairs of others ... A meddler!
* Prov. 26:17 “He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that
taketh a dog by the ears.”
* Stay away from talebearers – He is a kindler of fire (Prov. 26:20).
* He’s also a destroyer of friends – Prov. 17:9 “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but
he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”
* Don’t be a talebearer, and don’t listen to talebearing.
(4) THE REMEDY!
A) If we are ever to gain control of the tongue, we must be able to restrain the words that we use,
to hold back from speaking wrongly!
* We must also be able to give direction to speak that which is right and good.
* However, this is often easier said than done, because if we’re honest with ourselves, we have all
said things we shouldn’t say – Such as .......
B) Times when we speak our minds and say just a bit too much – Prov. 29:11 “A fool .......”
* Times when our anger gets the best of us and we spout off with our mouths .......
* Times when we know a juicy bit of info and we think we just have to share it.
C) What causes people to just speak out with these sins of the tongue?
* Our sinful nature is to do exactly these kinds of things and to inflict hurt on other people.
* The measure of holiness is to not speak evil, and not to return evil for evil.
* Some had poor examples modeled for them growing up and are a product of a bad environment.
D) A negative spirit ... There are people who see nothing good in the world and they want to share
that fact with every person that they come in contact with!
* Being a new or young Christian – Some people have never matured in their walk with Christ.
* I don’t care if you’ve been saved for thirty years or thirty minutes, we all need to strive for spiritual
maturity in our faith.
* No matter what the problem or issue, Christ is the one who can help ... With His power and with
His strength, there is nothing that we cannot overcome.
E) Let me add one more thing here – v.8 “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an .......”
* James uses an interesting word for poison because it was used to describe both the venom
produced by snakes and scorpions, but it was also used to describe rust.
* So the warning that James gives is twofold ... (1) Words have the ability to harm others, like
venom from a snake and, (2) They have the ability to corrode and destroy areas of a person’s life.
F) One of the best evidences of our spiritual condition are the words that we use and how we speak
to and about other people – v.10 “Out of the same mouth proceedeth .......”
* v.11-12, James gives two illustrations ... “Doth a fountain send forth .......”
CLOSE
A) Words can be as deadly as weapons!
* Prov 25:18 “A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a .......”
* “Maul:” A battle axe that crushes at close range ... “A sword:” A weapon with a long blade used
for cutting or thrusting ... “An arrow:” A missile shot from a bow that pierces.
B) How do we put a stop to gossip?
* Stop listening to it ... If you are listening to gossip, you are part of the problem.
* So, if someone comes to you and starts being negative saying things about other people, just
simply say you don’t want to hear it.
* Nothing shuts down gossip faster than not having a listening ear.
C) Stop the cycle ... If someone is going around talking about someone else, get the person being
talked about and try to solve the problem!
* Gossip will never stop until the problems start being solved.
D) Start confronting those who spread gossip ... When people are spreading stories and gossip, the
best way to deal with it is to confront them in a loving, but firm manner!
* This is going to be the policy of the church, and I want you to know and understand this ... If you
are spreading gossip in this church, it will catch up with you and bite you.
* Don’t think for one minute that if you talk about this preacher, it will get back to me, or anybody
else in this church as far as that goes – I will find out about it.
E) Handout – THINK before you speak
* T – Is it true? * H – Is it helpful? * I – Is it inspiring? * N – Is it necessary? * K – Is it kind?
* You cannot use your tongue right if your heart is not right ... So come to Jesus and get it right!
