Introduction: (Read from newspaper): “Stalker Endangers 4-State Family - Authorities are nervously watching a 4-state home where a stalker has been recently cited. The stalker has been spotted, using a variety of disguises to hide his identity. A known criminal, he is wanted in several states, but so far has managed to elude arrest. The sightings have occurred around the 4-state home many times now, though the family has never seen him. While authorities believe the family to be in serious danger, they and their neighbors are showing little alarm. The identity of the family is being withheld until church services at [church name] today where the preacher will announce that the family is YOU!
-Your family's being stalked! It's true! Someone is out to ruin your family, and he's waiting for the opportunity to make it fall. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (I Pt 5:8) He knows that every blow he inflicts against your home is a blow that makes the Church suffer. It's a fact: whatever hurts your home hurts the Church, and the devil is out to make both fall.
-I want this message to be like a warning sign. Just like those “s-curve” signs on the way to Branson that warn you to slow down because the turns are sharp and the hills are steep, I want to set up a warning sign - a reminder that these dangers are out there, and you need to be alert! Because I see several dangers that are threatening the families of our country and our congregation today. And by the end of the message, I want to have suggested several courses of action to take that will help us make sure we’re not another car in the ditch along the highway of family living.
The first danger is the…
I. Loss of Truth
-I read an ad for contact lenses, "Ask your doctor. See if they're right for you." Every other prescription add that comes on TV says the same thing: “See if it’s right for you.”
That makes me cringe. Because in a somewhat hidden way it says that some things may be right for some people and not right for others. Watch for that phrase, "If it's right for you." It reflects a trend that began in Europe in the early 1800's and in the US in the 1920's. A movement toward relativism -- to say truth is no longer absolute. "What may be true for you may not be true for me." There is, more than ever in our county, a truth vacuum - a longing for something that's certain and reliable, but a confusion about whether such a thing even exists. No, it’s no longer a confusion – it’s a decision that truth doesn’t exist. The post-modern era is in part marked by this relativistic approach: “truth” varies with my feelings, my experience, my situation, my values, my genes.
(II Tim 4:3-4) "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."
-Ill - a 1992 survey:
• 91% of Americans say they lie routinely
• 85% lie regularly to parents
• 75% to friends
• 73% to siblings
• 69% to spouses.
-Does this surprise you? It shouldn’t if you believe that truth doesn’t exist. If truth isn’t real and absolute, then non-truth is really of no consequence. Why be concerned about something that’s the opposite of nothing?
We've seen what that can do to politicians, to businesses, to countries - what do you suppose it does to families? When parents can't trust children, children can't trust parents, and husbands and wives can't trust each other?
-a man who had been unfaithful to his wife was forgiven and restored. Listen to what he had to say about honesty in a marriage:
"My wife and I have deliberately worked at the concept of truth. The thing that will destroy the marriage is the lie. Adultery alone does not necessarily destroy the marriage; it is the lie. We were able to handle the adultery when we brought it into the light. Every man has flaws and sins. It is only when you keep it in the darkness that sin grows and multiplies. If it is brought into the light, then there is help for it. Before, I would not bring it into the light because I didn't want help. Now I want help. So, if I'm tempted and sin, I want to get it exposed immediately and that means I must include my wife."
-Honesty, integrity, truth must be a part of our homes if they are to stand. The Lord we profess is the one Who came "full of grace and truth." "I am the way, the truth and the life." "Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." "If you hold to My teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."
-In a world that s abandoning it, we need to take truth seriously. We're staking our lives on it!
-that means
• children learn something when we they see us lie over the telephone
• Fellow workers notice something when we go along with a lie or theft
• Fellow students won't miss it when the "kid who goes to church" cheats on a test
• And our families are in danger when we no longer regard truthfulness as important
• Maybe that would mean this morning stepping forward and saying, “I’m done lying! I have a sin in my life that I need help with!”
-You love your family? (I Co 13:6) "...Love rejoices with the truth." -Watch out for the loss of truth.
II. Anti-Christian Media
-"media" - plural for "medium": something through which an affect is produced. (ie pigments are mixed with a medium to be used to paint).
joke - a local medium, a channeler through whom spirits supposedly appeared, was exposed to be a farce and was arrested by Sheriff Pierce last week. It so happens that he was also dwarfed - a midget - and as a result of his smallness, he slipped through the prison bars and escaped from the jail. There's a small medium at large.
-The media then, are just those things that are used to deliver a message, to produce a certain effect, good or bad. They’re just a means - TV, movies, radio, internet, music, magazines, books, newspapers, art.
-20 years ago, Francis Schaeffer said if you want to find out what's going on with the morals of a society just look at their art and listen to their music. (ugh!) But now, media has become such a powerful thing, it's no longer just a reflection of what's going on in our world; it's shaping it. (repeat)
-in 1987-1988, American households watched just under an average of 7 hrs/day of TV. (People over 55 watched more than any demographic group). Not all TV is bad, but nonetheless, it's going to have an impact on how we conduct ourselves. Nothing can take so much of a home's time without affecting it greatly.
-I get on the internet and use a search engine called “google” to help me find things. Google takes a few key words and searches the world wide web for information about whatever you type in. It uses an index of 1billion 60 million web pages. A large percentage of that is the pornography industry.
-"Some days the only good thing on the TV are the vase and the clock!"
-we place ourselves in front of sitcoms, lusty soaps, tabloid talk shows, half-dressed movies, bazaar music videos, trashy magazines and books, and then wonder why we have such a hard time staying on track with the Lord!
-It's because we neglect the command of *Phil 4:8-9 (underline those verses!)
(Psalms 101:3) I will set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me.
-We can't expect to fill our worlds with an antichristian element like much of today’s media and not see it weaken our homes. What should we do about it? Govern it. Control it. Don’t apologize for it! Try turning your TV around backwards, and when someone visits you and asks about it, tell them, “It’s in timeout until it learns to stop using bad language!”
The media is a danger that threatens our homes. (partly responsible for:)
III. Loss of Respect for Marriage
-US has lost what was once a high regard for the institution of marriage. It's reflected
• in a divorce rate that matches or outnumbers the number of weddings each year
• in the number of couples living together out of wedlock
• in the rampant spread and acceptance of homosexuality
• in the somewhat successful effort to make homosexual marriage legally recognized
• in husbands and wives who make no effort to strengthen their relationship
• in the number of extramarital affairs people are involved in
• in the AIDS epidemic
- all indicators of what our country thinks of marriage (or doesn't think!)
-(Heb 13:4) "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure."
-But marriage isn't honored when it's just looked at as a formality or a piece of paper, so couples live together with no commitment to each other and no regard for how God looks at it.
-Marriage isn't honored when we treat it like a disposable razor that you use and then throw away if it gets too dull or you don't like it. But many are approaching marriage on a trial basis. It's no longer honored like it ought to be.
-Listen to God's word on the subject of divorce - Mal 2:16: "I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel." - not divorced people – in many ways the church needs to re-examine its attitudes toward divorced people. But it shouldn't be. Those of you who have been through the pain of divorce would be the first to agree that it isn't what God planned or desires.
-The very idea of family can't survive without a proper regard for marriage. God designed that families should have a mother and father who are committed to each other, and who raise children who will have the same in their homes.
-Want to help your family? Strengthen your marriage. Honor the idea of marriage.
Singles and Young people, set some goals and some high expectations for your marriage. Parents, model honor for your marriage to your children. Tell them what it means to you and show them why it's worth protecting.
IV. Worldly Ideas Replace the Bible as the Basis for the Home's Structure
-One reason I love the Bible is because it tells me what I need to have a successful family life. It's all there, and I can trust it. Once upon a time, it was the standard for the structure of homes in the US. Now, we've "outgrown" it. Now there are "experts" to tell us what we really ought to know about authority, values, discipline, and love in our homes, and they've discovered that the Bible was wrong on a lot of points!
joke -Dr. Herb True: "We're strict with our kids. We won't let the oldest go to the supermarket wearing hair curlers. We won't let his sister go that way, either."
-The Scriptures teach us that parents ought to be the authority in their homes. Now, children can take their parents to court – even divorce them, and parents are being taught to let their children choose their own course earlier in life. It's a worldly idea that has been accepted in place of God's design.
-Don't discipline your children, you'll give them a complex! Little Hector has been labeled as a "behavioral disorder" child who needs counseling. What Little Hector really needs are some parents who love him enough and take enough time to say "no" to some things and to discipline him. Prov 13:24 says "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." Heb 12 says that God shows us that we are His sons by disciplining us. There's a worldly idea that has been accepted in place of God's design.
-Young people, aside from accepting Jesus Christ, no decision will affect your life like the choice of your mate. How much of that decision are you letting God make for you? What about loving God is shaping your attitudes and choices about your future mate? Have you let worldly ideas creep in there?
Paul instructs us in (II Co 6:14-16a)? "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
-"Yes, but I'm going to date him and marry him and lead him to the Lord." Tell me one person for whom that has happened and I'll find you 20 where it didn't. "Yes, but I know someone who did it and he became a Christian." You’re right – it could happen. I suppose that's fine if instead of concerning yourself with the Lord's will in this matter, what you're interested in doing is setting up your life so that you might beat the odds. I suppose that's fine if what you want to do is possibly survive. I'm interested in helping people have a better future to look forward to than just "possibly surviving." Listen to God on this matter. Save yourself a lot of hurt.
Families are in danger when we let worldly ideas replace the Bible as the source for Family design.
V. Confused Priorities
-Our families are threatened by the fact that we tend to give lesser things priority over our family.
-Joke- You may know that we Scotch people are chided for our stinginess and being tight pursed. Since I’m Scotch-Irish, it’s OK for me to make fun of that! A Scotchman was on his deathbed. 4 sons (Shamus, Shawn, Eric, Willis) come to visit. Each one stood around his father’s bed. “Oh, ____, how good of you to come. How noble that you come to say goodbye to your father one last time., etc., etc. "Who's running the store?!"
No one on his deathbed ever said, "I wish I'd spent more time on my business."
-Men, if you were to die tomorrow, a company you work for could replace you in a week. A farm or business could be run by someone else: but your wife and children would feel the loss for the rest of their lives. Yet most of us pour a lot more of ourselves into our job than into our family - that's not a very smart investment. Just the number of hours I spend working versus being a husband or a dad has me asking “Who’s getting priority in my life?” I know you men struggle with that. How much of me does my job deserve ahead of my wife or kids? Try winning that struggle when the guy you work for is God!
-Ill - Douglas MacArthur II, worked as Counselor of the State Department under John Foster Dulles. Both men were hard workers. One time Dulles phoned the MacArthur home and asked, “Where’s Douglas?” Thinking he was an aid, Mrs. MacArthur finally snapped: "MacArthur is where MacArthur always is, weekdays, Saturdays, Sundays, and nights - in that office!" A few minutes later, MacArthur got a phone call in his office from Dulles, "Go home at once, boy. Your home front is crumbling."
-Ill - In 1965 the average parent had 30hrs of contact with his/her children each week. In 1980, that average dropped to 17hrs - 40% less time with their children.
-Ill - -sign in a dentist's office: "Ignore your teeth - they'll go away." (Ignore your family...)
But there are bright spots. You’ve had bright spots. You’ve seen bright spots in other homes. There is hope, and there are many who understand and are doing it well.
-Ill- Dr. Tony Evans tells the story of a former major league baseball star. One day, as a boy, he and some friends, and his father were out in their yard playing ball. They played there real regularly and the grass had really taken a beating. One day, the kids and the father were playing and having a great time, the boy's mother leaned out the window and said, "Can't you guys find somewhere else to play? You're killing the grass." The man looked at his wife and said, "Honey, we aren't raising grass, we're raising kids." If you look at my lawn, you’d believe that about our house!
(Luke 10:38-42) As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
There are a lot of good things that we can choose to do. But we're often going to have the choice of what is better. Let’s get into the habit of listening to Jesus when it comes to our priorities. Do it for the sake of families.
Conclusion:
I’ve cited only 5 dangers that threaten your family this morning. I know there are others. I guess what’s most important is what we do about them.
• If you knew that your family was being stalked, what would you do? You’d tell the police. You might buy a gun. You’d do something to protect your family, wouldn’t you?
• If you knew that your family had a genetic tendency toward high blood pressure, what would you do? You’d watch it. You’d check it frequently. You’d consult with a doctor and tell him your family medical history, wouldn’t you?
• If you knew that, on a vacation to the east coast, a hurricane was going to come ashore where you were, you’d leave wouldn’t you? Or at least get in where you would be safe?
After the tragedy at Columbine, there were scares all over the US. One day in Hillsboro, OH, there had been a threat, and most of the students stayed home, and most of the teachers even called in sick, just for the fear of the possibility that there might be some trouble.
Listen, the same danger that has capsized marriages, that has destroyed children, that has sent homes reeling all over on your left and right is definitely there and is definitely aiming to get you.
What should you do? Well, where there was a heightened fear in our schools what did we do? Shut them down? Call in sick? Skip school the rest of your life? No, we put in place the guards that would help protect that from ever happening again.
That’s what we need to do about the dangers that threaten our homes – not retreat, but to be aware of the dangers and put into place the guards that will protect them.
Begin this morning by committing your home to Jesus. Whether you’re a large family and growing, or you’re a home of one person, begin by yielding that home to the Lordship of Jesus Christ today.
