WAC2BL: Forgiven & Forgiving
Scripture Text: Colossians 3.12-14
INTRODUCTION
I’ve been thinking-about some of the most-highly-rated television shows over the past 30 years: Star Trek, M*A*S*H*, Cheers, Seinfeld, Lost. Of some-of these-shows, I’ve been an avid-fan ~ and watched most of the episodes. Others, I’ve watched a-few, here-and-there.
But, despite what I think about these shows, there’s little-argument that these are some-of the most popular shows in the past three-decades. I thought about the settings-and-back-drops for each-one: For Star Trek, the setting was space ~ the final-frontier. For M*A*S*H*, it was South Korea during the Korean War. For Cheers, the setting was a bar in Boston. For Seinfeld ~ an apartment in Manhattan. And for Lost ~ an island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.
Hugely different settings. But they all have something in common. And that-common-element is what draws people to watch these shows. It has nothing-to-do with the setting, …and it has everything-to-do-with the relationships between characters!
Relationships are a significant-part of every person’s life. Boys-and-girls, teen-agers, men-and-women seek-out-relationships. People want folks in their lives who care-about-them; …people that are going to stick-it-out, come-what-may; …companions that are committed to the relationship.
This-desire-for-relationships is a universal-human-desire; …it-is-what-it-is because God designed us to be connected to-each-other ~ …significant, …lasting, …meaningful relationships with people. Incidentally… this is what stands behind the Second Great Commandment: Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus didn’t give that command as an arbitrary, …random-thing that He pulled-out-of-the-air because He thought it’d be a good-idea. No! He gave us that command because He knew that this-is-what-we’re-created-for! Not-only are we created to enjoy a loving, trusting relationship with God; …but we’re also created to enjoy peaceful, loving relationships with people.
That’s why almost the entirety of the Bible contains stories and laws, commands and descriptions relating-to human-relationships. And it’s-also-why the WAC2BL question is so-important: What’s a Church to Be Like? If it’s about pews-and-steeples, …if it’s about buses or billboard advertisements, …if it’s about productions and programs ~ …we’re missin’ the point! If it’s about professionalism and polished performances, …if it’s about organization and image, …if it’s about entertainment or about busy-ness ~ …we’re missin’ the point!
What’s a Church to Be Like? However we answer that-question, …it’s gotta-be-about relationships ~ …first-of-all, our relationship to God; …and secondly, our relationships to-one-another.
TRANSITION
Last-week, we listened as God spoke to us through Peter’s letter ~ …reminding us that we are God’s redeemed-children, …and as-such, we’re to live-out-our-redemption by loving-one-another sincerely, deeply.
This week, we turn our attention to what God would-say-to-us through the letter to the Colossian-Church. And-just-like last-week, …we find a great-spiritual-truth standing-at-the-heart of a pastoral-command-of-God. The great-theological-truth, at the heart-of-this-passage is this: You are chosen by God! Chosen. Picked. Selected.
Do you remember standing on the playground while your classmates chose-up-sides? ~ Nobody wants-to-be the last-one-picked! If you’re the last-one, you feel-as-though you weren’t-really-chosen, at-all. We don’t want to be an after-thought. We don’t wanna be left-out, …left-overs, …left-behind We don’t want to be on the outside lookin’ in.
But, Scripture tells-us-that, the deep-longing to be included, …to be chosen, …to be wanted ~ …Scripture tells us that the One - who matters-most - has chosen you-and-me! Who-cares whether the “in-crowd” at-school thinks you’re cool!?! Who-cares whether the folks-at-the-office include you in their little-chat-sessions!?! Who-cares whether your neighbors think you’re the odd-ball on the block!?!
Now, I know that we really-do-care… You care when you’re not included, …you care when others treat you disrespectfully, …I care when I’m ignored, …overlooked, …put-down; But, I hope you see that deep-desire, …that impulse to-want to-be-wanted, …that gut-wrenching-fear of being-left-out ~ …all-of-it is a sign that God created us to be in relationship with-Him, and with-one-another! And-because-He-created-us that-way, …we should look to meet that-need in ways that He says are right-and-good! What’s a Church to Be Like ~ This is an attempt to explain how God wants us to build and guide our relationships with one-another so-that our desires-for-fellowship are met in God-honoring-ways!
BODY
Let’s get back to what God is saying to us through the third-chapter of Colossians.
This paragraph begins with : “[A]s God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…”
There’s a great-theological-truth here: We are chosen by God! We are loved by Him and He has selected us, …set us apart, …called us out of the empty-way-of-life: Together we are His people! But, what are we to do with this awesome-reality? ~
We’re told specific virtues that we are to ‘clothe’ ourselves with ~ …and these are all intensely-relational-virtues. In-other-words, …these all have-to-do-with how-we-relate to one-another… …how we treat one-another, …what kinds of attitudes we have, …how we respond to situations, circumstances, and-the-people that God puts in-our-lives, …these-virtues tell-a-story about what’s-in-our-hearts for-one-another!
But we’re given a list of five virtues to govern our connections with each-other: “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
These are the ‘virtues’ that Scripture says should characterize relationships within the church. When we ask the question: “What’s a Church to be like?” ~ …somehow, …someway, …these five virtues should play a significant-part in the picture-that-we-paint and in the answer-that-we-give! Compassion, …kindness, …humility, …gentleness, …and patience. I-mean, really. These five virtues are a pretty-tall-order for many-folks, …are they not!?!
But, as-important-as these-five-things-are, …the heart-of-this-passage is contained in verse 13:
“Make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (NLT)
The NIV puts-it this-way ~ and maybe this is a little-more-familiar:
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
PAUSE 3
Wouldn’t it have-been a whole-lot-nicer, if the whole-thing about-‘forgiveness’ hadn’t-been-brought-up!?! But, forgiveness is a part-of restoring-the-relationship!
Time does not heal all wounds. You can’t sweep-it-under-the-rug and ignore-it when someone has hurt you. And when you hold onto those wrongs, the only-one-it’s-hurting is you! And-so, it’s not healthy. It’s not constructive. It certainly-isn’t God-honoring!
Forgiveness is a notoriously difficult thing to define. But, we’re gonna-try, as best we can. According to Dictionary.com, common synonyms include: …absolution, …pardon, …remission, …acquittal, …clemency, …and compassion.
One very-famous talk-show-host offered her definition of forgiveness: “Forgiveness is accepting the fact that the past can’t change.”
That’s-not-bad… but I think there’s a whole-lot-more-to-it than simply accepting the past! There’s also, …a ‘letting go’ that happens when you forgive. You let go of your right to-get-even. You let go of the impulse to retaliate. You let go of the desire to climb up on the judge’s-seat and grab the gavel and pronounce-a-sentence of punishment! You let go! And, in-letting-go, …you are freed!
That doesn’t mean that the injury never-happened. It did! But forgiveness frees us from that experience, …so-that we can move-forward without bitterness, anger, judgmentalism, and resentment! It’s an amazing thing ~ …and it’s no-wonder that scientists are seeing the benefits of Scriptural-mandates, like-forgiveness. Robert Enright wrote a book entitled, “Forgiveness Is a Choice”. And in his book, he shows a direct link between forgiveness and health ~ …especially when it comes to a person’s mental and emotional stability. Forgiving people are healthier people. It’s a scientific-fact ~ …but I don’t need science to tell me this! God has been sayin’ this for thousands of years! Forgive one-another. Bear with each-other. Make allowances for the people in your life! They are gonna mess-up. They are going-to disappoint you. They may drop-the-ball; …or say an unkind word; …or disrespect you ~ …who-knows!?! ~ …There’s a million-and-one ways to offend and to sin and to hurt one another.
Certainly ~ in-the-church ~ we should be committed to living a different kind-of-life ~ …a life-in-which we do not purposely sin against God, …or against one-another. But, sometimes we get caught-up in the heat of the moment, …or we’re just clueless about-the-whole-thing! And-so, …stuff-happens! ~ …we’re gonna get hurt-and-offended. What are you gonna do with-it?...
Some folks are-afflicted with a particular infirmity: …it’s called “perfectionism”. Perfectionism masquerades as “high-standards” ~ …and there’s nothin’-wrong with having high standards and expecting others to do-well. I think we should strive-for-excellence…
But, perfectionism is a problem when we won’t let things go! It’s a problem when we hold other’s-failings over their heads. It’s destructive to be unforgiving toward someone who has hurt you, failed you, …or not-measured up to your standards.
Here’s-the-deal: …we’re all at different-stages-in-our-journeys-with-Christ; …we have vastly different personalities; …and we certainly-have hugely-different backgrounds and background-experiences. All-of-that’s-to-say, …with such-variety, …and so-many-differences, …we’re bound to have plenty of opportunities to offer-forgiveness! The question-is: When we’ve been offended, …hurt, …disappointed, …sinned-against - by someone in the church – …how will you respond? Will it be with compassion and kindness; …with gentleness and patience; …will you respond with humility and offer that person the gift of forgiveness?
CONCLUSION
The good news is that God has chosen each one-of-us, …and has said that we are special because we are part of His family, now. And in choosing us, He has given us a great-gift, …something we never-could earn-for-ourselves: Forgiveness. Despite the wrong that we’ve done; …despite the places we’ve wandered to; …despite the ways we’ve run-from-God and treated the people around us ~ …despite-it-all, …our Father in Heaven offers us the wonderful-gift of forgiveness.
Now… what are we gonna do with-that? This-passage has some very-specific recommendations: …compassion, …kindness, …humility …gentleness, …patience. Every-single-one-of-these-words describes the ways that we relate-to-one-another. And the-times-at-which our relationships are most-strained, …most-tested, …most-difficult is-when there’s somethin’ between us. Like a burr-under-the-saddle; …like a splinter in your finger; …like a pebble in your shoe ~ …when someone has offended you, …when you have been wronged, …when one of your fellow-Christians over-steps their bounds, …or under-cuts your plans, …or goes behind your back, …or jumps into your face; …when you are accused, …or defamed, …or criticized, …or taken-advantage-of…
When you have been sinned-against, …when you’ve been stepped-on, …or over-looked, …or dissed ~ …what-then? What-happens when we don’t-feel-like extending compassion or kindness, …gentleness, humility or patience? What then!?!
What do we do if we’re disappointed by people in our church-family? What if others have been critical, unforgiving, judgmental? What do we do if someone in our church hasn’t measured up to God’s design for what our-church is to be like?
When I look at Colossians, chapter three ~ …really, when I look at the whole-of-Scripture ~ …I don’t find “unless”, …and I don’t find “when”, …and I don’t see exceptions listed. But what I do find is great theological truths ~ like the one in Colossians:
“We are chosen by God.”
And that reality doesn’t-change. Whether you are young and inexperienced, …whether you are old and deteriorating, …whether you are the picture-of-health, …or whether you are falling-apart at-the-seams ~ God has chosen you to be a part of His family.
And if God has chosen you, …if God has chosen me ~ …chosen us in-love, …chosen us to be holy, …chosen us to be woven into the tapestry of His people ~ …then it makes sense that He would ask us to be a forgiving-people!
In choosing-us, He offered us the gift of forgiveness. He forgave us our sins. He forgave all our offenses against Him. He let it go! Now, He asks us to do the same in our relationships within the church. Has there been someone who’s hurt your feelings? Have you been offended by someone’s actions? Have your toes been stepped on? Have you been pushed aside? Are you hurting because of something-said, …something-done, …something left-un-done?
Forgiveness is not saying that it was o.k. for-them to do-that. Forgiveness is not excusing the behavior. Forgiveness is not giving permission for it to be done all-over-again! But, forgiveness is a gift that we offer because it’s been offered to us, by the Lord. Forgive one another, as you have been forgiven by the Lord! Bear with each other ~ …we’re gonna make mistakes; …we’re gonna jump-the-gun; …we’re gonna drop-the-ball; …we may even say-something that hurts someone-else. But, bear with each other! It’s an act of patience and humility. It’s a way to exercise compassion toward one-another. Bearing with one-another is a way of expressing kindness and gentleness. But, most-of-all, …it’s about having a forgiving-spirit ~ …the same-Spirit that God has toward us!
Won’t you show a little compassion; …a little kindness; …a little gentleness and patience? Won’t you bear with your brothers-and-sisters? Won’t you forgive, …as the Lord has forgiven you?
