INTRODUCTION
• October, scary movies, Friday the 13th part 25, cute little trick or treaters roaming the streets.
• October is a rather haunting month; however, for some people, they are haunted by issues in life twelve months out of the year.
• Since October is a month of haunting, I am going to begin a series entitled “HAUNTED.”
• When I was a child, I was haunted by a fear of the dark. My parents never knew where they would find me in the morning. I hated to go to bed at night, I wanted many lights on!
• It was frustrating because I did not know how to overcome being haunted by my fear of the dark.
• There are a vast number of concerns of life that can haunt you. Maybe you are haunted by something in your past this day.
• The issues that haunt you are slowing sucking the joy right out of your life and you do not know what to do about it.
• SLIDE #1
• Today our focus will be centered on a subject many of us know all too well, the issue of regret.
• So many people are haunted by regret.
• Regret is defined as follows:
o 1. to feel sorry and sad about something previously done or said that now appears wrong, mistaken, or hurtful to others
o 2.used as a polite expression of grief when making an apology or delivering a piece of bad or unwelcome news
o 3.to feel sadness about something, or feel a sense of loss and longing for somebody or something that is no longer there
o 4.to feel sorry or sad that something has happened
o 5.be sorry for the loss of; wish to have again
• A short definition of the word regret is, AN UNEASY FEELING CONCERNING WHAT HAS BEEN DONE.
• As we examine the scriptures today, in your outline of the message you will not see the word REGRET, but rather the word GRIEF.
• Grief usually accompanies regret, the two seem to go hand in hand, where there is regret. The grief one experiences usually results from some sort of loss, per the definitions of regret.
• For example, we got caught robbing the bank, so we regret doing it because we will lose our freedom as a result of the action, no necessarily because what we did was wrong.
• In the passage we will dig into together this morning, the apostle Paul is writing the 2 letter to the Corinthian church. In the first letter, Paul dealt with numerous issues that was hurting the fledgling church.
• Immorality was running crazy and Paul was trying to help correct the issues. It would seem as though sometime between the writing of the first letter and this second letter that the people were starting to realize the depth of their sins.
• Today let us see if we can eradicate being haunted by regret once and for all!
• Let being by looking at 2 Corinthians 7:9
• SLIDE #2
• 2 Corinthians 7:9 (HCSB) Now I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because your grief led to repentance. For you were grieved as God willed, so that you didn’t experience any loss from us.
• SLIDE #3
SERMON
I. Grief though difficult is not a bad feeling to experience.
• Have you ever made someone feel bad by something you said or by something you had done?
• I would venture to say most of us have.
• When you were told by the person you made them feel bad or you found out you made them feel bad, did you say that you rejoiced?
• Paul probably had some regrets over what he had to write in 1 Corinthians
• SLIDE #4
• 2 Corinthians 2:4 (HCSB) For I wrote to you with many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart—not that you should be hurt, but that you should know the abundant love I have for you.
• But now Paul is seeing the fruits that have sprung forth from the gut wrenching letter he previously wrote.
• In verse 8 look at what Paul says.
• SLIDE #5
• 2 Corinthians 7:8 (HCSB) For even if I grieved you with my letter, I do not regret it—even though I did regret it since I saw that the letter grieved you, yet only for a little while.
• Notice Paul felt bad about making the folks grieve; however, the pain the folks experienced lasted only a little while before the desired results started taking place!
• The pain and grief Paul knew would follow his letter was not what he was seeking, rather the pain and grief were both means to an end.
• The grief was meant to take the people down the path of a positive result.
• In parenting have you not used guilt to help to invoke an awakening in your children of their need for a change in direction?
• If we in trying to help someone see the light cause them momentary grief, we can rejoice when that grief leads them to positive changes.
• As we veer back into verse 9, we see the people were grieved as God willed.
• The inward pain, grief and remorse had a purpose, God wanted the people to repent of their wrong-doing.
• So grief, though difficult to endure is not a bad feeling to experience when it leads to something positive happening in your life.
• SLIDE #6
• Let’s examine why Paul was ok with the grief of the people who he was writing.
II. The positive direction of grief.
• Verse 9 speaks of the grief being the will of God. Seems kind of mean that the grief was part of God’s will?
• These people were not just sorry, their sorrow led to repentance.
• The word REPENT means to change mind AND a change of direction. Whereas regret involves a change of mind, (I AM SORRY I HURT YOU), repentance not only involves the sorry part (CHANGE OF MIND), and it also involves the changing of actions that lead to the cause of the hurt.
• Grief alone that does not lead to repentance will linger forever.
• The situation for Paul’s readers was so bad that Paul told them that if they did not repent, their salvation was in danger.
• If Paul had not written them to change their ways, they would have suffered great loss. The word translated “any loss” IS THE SAME WORD USED IN 1 CORINTHIANS 3:15 for the loss of one’s reward at the final judgment.
• SLIDE #7
• 1 Corinthians 3:15 (HCSB) If anyone’s work is burned up, it will be lost, but he will be saved; yet it will be like an escape through fire.
• God approves of the grif that leads to repentance.
• Now look at verse 10 as we open this up a bit more.
• SLIDE #8
• 2 Corinthians 7:10 (HCSB) For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produces death.
• Verse 10 explains why the grief is according to God’s will.
• The kind of grief that is GODLY GRIEF produces a change of mind AND action.
• Repentance involves not only a change of heart AND action, but also includes restitution when possible (Luke 19:8).
• For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation
• When your Godly grief leads to repentance, you will be able to say good bye to regret.
• When we have Godly grief, we possess it because we realize that what we are doing wrong is sinning against God and we do not want to do that; hence, the repentance.
• For the Christian who sins, we need to repent, not to live with REGRET.
• If regret is haunting us, maybe we need some repentance toward God.
• As pointed out in verse 9, the Christian who commits sin and will not repent faces the prospect of eventually suffering LOSS.
• The positive direction of grief is repentance, and repentance leads to salvation!
• The bottom line is there is a difference between regret and repentance. One leads to God, the other does not.
• Now this is an important distinction which we will open up in our final observation.
• SLIDE #9
III. The negative direction of grief.
• The negative direction of grief is called WORLDLY GRIEF.
• Look at what verse 10 says about this direction.
• “but worldly grief produces death.”
• Worldly grief does not induce a change of action, maybe just a change of mind.
• Worldly grief is built on the concept that one is grieved because they got caught; however, it goes deeper than that.
• Now this point may help open your understanding as to why for instance a man will beat his wife, then cry about being sorry and then proceed to do it again.
• Worldly grief is the grief that comes about because one’s actions will result in missing out on something the world has to offer.
• For instance, the man who hits his wife is sorry, not because he sinned against God and his wife, rather he is afraid he will lose his wife, or his freedom if he goes to jail or his possessions from a divorce.
• This is why the man will do it again, he is not grieved to the point of actual change, rather he will say and do whatever it takes to keep his woman, and his freedom, and his stuff.
• The prisons are full of people who are grieved they got caught, but few are grieved to the point of really changing. Why do so many go back?
• The worldly grief feels bad because they want more of the world.
• Such grief causes us to focus even more on how hurt we are thereby helping to bring about the death that comes from living for self rather than for Jesus!
• In the bible I want to share two examples with you, one who allowed their grief to lead them in the positive direction and one who allowed their grief to lead them down the negative path.
• Peter. Pete denied Jesus three times. Peter let Jesus down and he was grieved by what he had done.
• SLIDE #10
• Luke 22:61–62 (HCSB) Then the Lord turned and looked at Peter. So Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
• Now what happened to Peter? He saw Jesus after the resurrection, he embraced Jesus and never let His Lord down again! He was one of the great apostles who wrote some of the New Testament.
• Peter eventually died for his faith. Peter’s grief was Godly grief because it lead him not to just feel bad, but also to change his actions!
• Judas. Here is a person who betrayed Jesus at the deepest level, he turned Jesus over to the authorities.
• Look at what happened with Judas.
• SLIDE #11
• Matthew 27:3–5 (HCSB) Then Judas, His betrayer, seeing that He had been condemned, was full of remorse and returned the 30 pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders. “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,” he said. “What’s that to us?” they said. “See to it yourself!” So he threw the silver into the sanctuary and departed. Then he went and hanged himself.
• Judas seeing that Jesus was condemned, was FULL OF REMORSE and he even threw his precious money into the sanctuary.
• Judas could have allowed his grief to help him to change actions and heart, but he did not.
• Judas hanged himself. Judas was full of regret, but his regret led to his death.
• The death spoken of in our passage can be physical death, but most likely refers to spiritual separation from God.
• Godly grief produces repentance leading to salvation!
• But worldly grief produces death.
• The word translated PRODUCES means to work out to completion. Worldly grief is an effectual cause of death!
CONCLUSION
• You no longer have to be haunted by regret.
• You may be experiencing grief because you need to allow your grief to lead you to repentance towards God.
• You do not have to be haunted by regret, give it to God, and if you need to make amends with someone, do it and then enjoy life in Christ!
