Series: Resolutions Worth Making
Title: Forgiveness
Text: Matthew 18:21-35
Truth: To be transformed we must forgive.
Aim: To encourage forgiveness.
INTRODUCTION
Louie Zamperini is the subject of the current hit movie Unbroken. He was born in 1917 in New York, then, shortly afterward, his family moved to the west coast to live in Torrance, California. In Kindergarten he did not speak English. This, and his Italian heritage, made him the focus of bullying. He learned to fight and get even with his tormentors. At ten he was smoking and stealing liquor; he was a juvenile delinquent. The school principle, his older brother, and a police officer came together to decide how they were going to change this wild child. They decided to put his running abilities to work by getting him involved in track. His first race was the 660. Louie came in dead last. But he set a national high school track record for the mile, which stood for two decades. It earned him the opportunity to be on the 1936 Olympic team that went to Berlin, Germany. He finished eighth in the 5,000 meters, but his finishing lap of 56 seconds was a record that stood for several years. It earned him the opportunity to meet Adolph Hitler.
The movie is mainly about his time as a POW of the Japanese. The brutality and cruelty is shocking. I do not think I could have survived what Zamperini endured. But, typical of Hollywood, they chose to downplay his Christian faith which is truly the exemplary part of his life. The movie exalts his unbroken spirit despite great hardship, but the truth is Louie Zamperini was a broken man after the war. Every night he had nightmares about the cruel POW camp commandant, “the Bird.” One night he woke up and was strangling his wife, but in his dream he was strangling “the Bird.” He became an alcoholic, because, he reasoned, if he got drunk every night he could sleep without these horrible nightmares. Obviously, it did not work, and his wife said she was going to divorce him.
In 1949 an exciting new evangelist held a huge tent revival in the area. Louie’s wife attended and was saved. She told him that because of her decision to accept Christ she had decided not to divorce him. He was very happy about that, and eventually, and reluctantly, he went to hear the young evangelist, Billy Graham. Louie said for 30 minutes he talked about one man, Jesus Christ, and Louie received Christ.
When he got up off his knees he knew he had forgiven every Japanese prison guard, including “the Bird”, who tortured him. That night, and every night for the rest of his life, he never had another nightmare about the torture he had endured and the anger to kill those who hurt him. He called it a miracle. Later he went back to Japan and met with every guard to tell them he forgave them. Some even accepted Christ, but the man known as “the Bird” refused to meet with him. The message of forgiveness is more needed than the message of a man who refused to be broken.
In a national survey by pollster George Barna, four out of ten Americans said they were currently having difficulty forgiving someone who had wronged them. As many of those people were Christians as non-Christians. Forgiveness is not the preferred choice for most Christians. If becoming a Christian were the only requirement for being a forgiver, then our churches would be filled with loving and forgiving people.
Dr. Martin Marty, a well-respected scholar of the University of Chicago, analyzed the distinctive traits of the dominant world religions. Marty summarized these religions with a one-word description of the essence of each. According to Marty, Buddhism equals suffering, Islam equals submission, Judaism equals monotheism, and Christianity equals forgiveness. The fundamental blessing of salvation is forgiveness.
The public library in a county seat town was next door to the Baptist church. One day a group gathered on the sidewalk, pointing and laughing at a sign on the library steps which said, “Forgiveness Day.” Anyone with an overdue book could bring it in on that day with no penalty charged and no questions asked. All was forgiven, and the record was erased. The borrower’s library card was as clean as though he had not kept the book beyond the due date.
Someone in the crowd commented that the sign was on the wrong building—it should have been in front of the church, because “they’re the ones in the forgiveness business.”
But forgiveness can be perplexing. What does forgiveness look like? Is it something that is done immediately, or is there a process? Is forgiveness something that requires the other person to repent, or is it something we do inwardly, personally for our own benefit? If we forgive, does it mean that we have to return to the persistently abusive, miserable relationship?
I want to talk to you this month about some resolutions worth making. We make resolutions for transformation. Forgiveness is a resolution that would result in many experiencing Christ-like transformation.
We all face wrongs where we have to choose if will we seek revenge or recovery, justice or mercy, or condemnation or pardon. Every one of us has a story where we have been hurt, wronged, and offended. Maybe we were lied about, or maybe we were abused. We long to be free of the hatred and bitterness. Someone said, “For every minute of hating, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
It is imperative that we learn to forgive those who have wronged us. Peter had to learn this. Like Peter if we are ever going to achieve the spiritual potential Christ sees in us, we must learn to forgive other people.
Something must have taken place among the disciples because in Matthew 18:15 Jesus taught them what to do if a brother sins against you. That led Peter to ask how many times a person should forgive someone who sins against you. The rabbis taught three times and then you could treat the person like an enemy. Peter knew Jesus, so he doubled the number and added one for good measure. Jesus’ answer of seventy-seven times basically says to Peter that he had failed to comprehend the true nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a matter of arithmetic but attitude. It is not a matter of calculations in the head but compassion in the heart.
Jesus illustrated the nature of forgiveness with the parable of the unforgiving servant. A king had a servant who owed him ten thousand talents; this was an enormous amount of money. In our day it might be equivalent to several hundred million dollars. It was more money than any person listening to Jesus could ever repay in several lifetimes of earnings. The king demanded the money to be repaid. When the servant could not pay what he had stolen and wasted, the king threatened to sell his wife and children into slavery. This was actually a merciful act; he could have killed them all. The servant fell to his knees and begged the king for mercy. The king took pity on the man and completely forgave the debt.
The forgiven servant left the presence of such generous forgiveness and deliberately went and found a man who owed him money that equaled a hundred days wages. No small amount but certainly within the man’s ability to pay back. He literally grabbed the man by the throat and demanded payment. The man could not pay, so the servant had the man thrown into prison. He almost certainly would not be able to repay the money now; the man’s life was ruined; “no exit” was written over his life.
When the king heard about what the forgiven servant had done he called him in and said in verse 32:
'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. (33) Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' (34) In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (35) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
From this parable Jesus teaches Peter is the true meaning of forgiveness.
I. WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?
The word “forgive” literally means “to send away, to let off.” To forgive means to surrender your right to seek revenge. Simply put, forgiveness is letting go of my right to hurt you for hurting me. For that to be true for many this year they will need the transforming power of Christ.
We see in this parable that forgiveness is not the denial of a wrong. The king did not deny the existence of the debt; that debt still had to be paid. The king knew the servant did not have the resources to restore the debt, so the king chose to absorb the loss himself.
When God forgives us, He does not simply overlook our wrong; our sin must be paid. Because of His great love and grace, God chooses to receive the judgment for our sin through the death of His Son.
When someone wrongs you, the offense creates a very real obligation to you. Before you can release them from the offense, you must acknowledge they have done you wrong. Then you must calculate what the offender cost you when they committed this wrong against you. Maybe the offender deserves divorce or the dissolving of your friendship or even death for the pain placed upon you. Only after you admit the wrong has occurred and calculated the debt they owe you, can you release them from the wrong against you.
Remember what Joseph said to his brothers in Genesis 45:5: “And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.” Joseph could have easily sentenced his brothers to death, or put them into slavery, but he chose instead to forgive and release them from the wrong they had committed against him.
Hebrews 10:17 says, “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” That does not mean that the all-knowing God has somehow erased from His memory our sin. It means that He does not remember them against us. He does not treat us on the basis of our sins. That is good, because when people do us wrong we do not have a delete button to our memory. The central issue of forgiveness is not that we forget how we have been wronged but that we treat people as if they had not hurt us. We let them off the hook. We refuse vengeance.
A wife can forgive her husband who beat her, a child can forgive the parent who abused him, the paralyzed can forgive the drunk driver who hit them, but they do not have the right to release the offender from the consequences other people or God may require for their offense. Vengeance is the desire to make others suffer for the wrongs they have committed against us. We are forbidden to take vengeance. That is what Jesus was teaching when He spoke about turning the other cheek. We are forbidden to take vengeance. Justice, on the other hand, is the payment that God, society, or others might seek from the one who hurt us. We are always to surrender our desire for vengeance; we are never to surrender our desire for justice.
Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness may forgive the debt, but it does not necessarily restore trust. Forgiveness is given; reconciliation is earned. The king forgave the servant the debt but it does not say he restored the man to the same position or lent him more money. An abused wife may forgive her husband, but that does not mean she allows him to return to the home. There must be clear evidence, over time, of deep change. A husband may genuinely forgive his adulterous wife, but that may not mean that the marriage can be restored.
Forgiveness is a decision but it is not a one-time decision. Because the wrong is not erased from our memory, we tend to dwell on the hurt. When that happens turn it into a prayer and take it to Jesus and the cross. C.S. Lewis observed, “To forgive for the moment is not difficult, but to go on forgiving, to forgive the same offence every time it recurs to the memory—that’s the tussle.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a trauma-specialist and poet. She said, “Forgiveness has many layers, many seasons. The important part of forgiveness is to begin and to continue. The finishing of it all is a life work.” In other words, you have to hold on to your commitment to let go of your right to hurt someone for hurting you.
Imagine that you have been deeply hurt emotionally or physically by someone who was very important to you. You kneel to pray. You are telling the Lord that it simply is impossible to forgive this horrible act against you. Then there is a drop on your shoulder; you do not pay much attention to it because you are pressing your case before Christ that what has happened to you is too much to ask to forgive. Then another drop hits the top of your head. What is that? You feel your head and it is wet where the drop hit. You look at your fingers and they are red. You glance at your shoulder and touch the drop; it is red too. Then you look up. There is Jesus on the cross. Suddenly you realize if Jesus could pronounce forgiveness to those who skewered him on the cross, He will give you the power to forgive and release the one who hurt you.
What is forgiveness? Simply put, forgiveness is letting go of my right to hurt you for hurting me; that is a resolution worth making. It will transform you into the likeness of Christ.
From the parable of the wicked servant, Jesus teaches Peter why to forgive.
II. WHY FORGIVE?
We forgive because of our forgiveness. Listen to the probing question of the king to the servant in verse 32: "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. (33) Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’”
The simple fact is since God has forgiven us, we are to forgive others. The forgiveness of God is not just something that is received, but it is to be shared. His forgiveness ought to inspire our forgiveness.
The parable illustrates how greatly God has forgiven us. To give you an idea of the magnitude of ten thousand talents, Rome required Herod to collect from the entire population of Palestine 800 talents in taxes for a year. The largest bank in the eastern part of the Roman Empire was in Athens. It had ten thousand talents on deposit. The man robbed the equivalent of Ft. Knox and his earning power was minimum wage. One comparison said it was as if we owed five billion dollars and we worked at a minimum wage job. It was impossible for him to repay even in several lifetimes.
For many boys my age Mickey Mantle was a hero. He could run the basis in thirteen seconds. He hit a home run that was measured almost 600 feet. He was a switch hitter. But he squandered his massive talent with a self-destructive lifestyle, mainly alcohol and womanizing, and was a serious failure as a husband and a father. His biography released shortly after his death was filled with guilt, regret, and shame. When the news came that he needed a liver transplant, he held a news conference. One of the things he said to his admirers was, “Don’t become like me. I’m not a role model.”
He phoned one of his old Yankee teammates, Bobby Richardson. Richardson is a committed follower of Christ, who had his share of abuse from his teammates for his spiritual commitment. Mantle asked Richardson to pray for him; he was really hurting. A few weeks later Bobby Richardson flew to Dallas to visit Mickey Mantle in the hospital. When he walked in the room, Mickey had a great big smile on his face. “Bobby, I can’t wait to tell you—I’ve accepted Christ as my Savior.” Richardson was thrilled, but Bobby’s wife was skeptical. Mickey Mantle had resisted her husband’s witness for forty years. When she got a chance, not long before Mickey died, she knelt by Mickey’s bed and asked, “Mickey, how do you know you’re saved?” Mickey Mantle whispered, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten…” Like Mickey Mantle, we have been forgiven much; this is a motive for why we forgive.
I would never want to make light of the hurt you have experienced. The only reason anyone could say to you that you should forgive the person who hurt you is because of how much God has forgiven you. Take that awful, painful wrong and stand at the cross, and try to convince yourself it was worse than what your sin did to the innocent Son of God. We must guard against living a double life: receiving God’s forgiveness but not sharing God’s forgiveness with our offender; accepting the mercy of God but then demanding only justice for our abuser; desiring to be treated tenderly but then acting harshly. If you find it hard to forgive, remind yourself that because of your sin you joined the world in driving the nails into the hands and feet of Jesus. While this was being done Jesus prayed repeatedly from the cross, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do!”
Why forgive? Because the forgiveness we have experienced from God is to now be expressed to others. We forgive because of our forgiveness.
We forgive because of our present and future.
Look at those frightening words in verses 34-35: In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (35) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
It is interesting that the king does not refer to the servant as “wicked” until he refuses to extend forgiveness. For a Christian to fail to forgive is not just sad or unfortunate, it is wicked. God did not pour His forgiveness into us for us to become a reservoir, a Dead Sea, taking in His blessings but not giving them out. Instead, we are to be channels of grace to others; that response would make 2015 a year of transformation.
Torture was not allowed in Jewish prisons, but it was a common practice in the Roman world and in Judah under Herod. This man could never pay back his debt and would never be released from prison. Torture only worsened his present condition. This man’s action had condemned him to a life sentence of imprisonment and torture.
People who are unforgiving of others should expect the punishment their un-forgiveness deserves. I think the reason Jesus ends this story with such a frightening scene as prison and torture is to jab us into doing something about our unforgiving spirit. “Preacher, you’re asking me to do the hardest thing in the world!” I know. I know a woman who forgave her alcoholic father, even though he never got better. I know a woman who forgave her sexually abusive step-father. I have known several people who forgave adulterous mates. I know a grandfather who forgave a son-in-law who sexually abused his grandchildren. I am in awe of these people.
With God’s power you can be set free to forgive. It has got to be easier than waking up every morning with this bitterness hitting you between the eyes. It has got to be easier than the emotional and mental drain which occurs as you review that hurting experience. As hard as it is to forgive, Jesus is telling us that the hardest, most torturous thing on earth is to bear an attitude of hateful un-forgiveness. Forgiveness would be a good resolution to make this year. This year I will take seriously Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:12, “Forgive us our transgressions as we forgive those who transgress against us.”
CONCLUSION
I close with a poem from an elementary school teacher:
He came to my desk with a quivering lip, the lesson was done.
“Have you a new sheet for me, dear teacher? I’ve spoiled this one.”
I took the sheet, all soiled and blotted and gave him a new one all unspotted.
And into his tired heart I cried, “Do better now, my child.”
I went to the throne with a trembling heart; the day was done.
“Have you a new day for me, dear Master? I’ve spoiled this one.”
He took my day, all soiled and blotted and gave me a new one all unspotted.
And into my tired heart he cried, “Do better now, my child.”
Are you one of those the pollster was referring to as having difficulty forgiving someone? Then I have a word of hope for you: if you are a follower of Jesus you are forgiven, and that means you have the motive and means to forgive. You can be transformed. It begins with the resolve that, with God’s help and some wise counsel, this year will be different.
PRAYER
INVITATION
No one here believes it is easy for you to leave the anonymity of your seat and come to the front requesting to be saved. I struggled several times before I actually publicly sought Christ. But everyone here will tell you it is the right and best decision to make. Do not let the fact that it is a hard decision keep you from acting.
Forgiveness is a hard decision. But let us be clear: refusing to forgive may seem easier but the consequences are much harder on your relationship with God and others. Do not be deceived by the devil. Obey Jesus and leave this service with the determination to forgive those who have wronged you. Make the decision to take some kind of positive action. Read a book. Talk to a counselor. Ask forgiveness. Give forgiveness. Call on God for help.
1. Luke 23:34
2. Anonymous, “A New Leaf,” James G. Lawson, compiler, The Best Loved Religious Poems.
