MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
(PowerPoints used with this message are available for free. Just email me at mnewland@sstelco.com and request #126.)
A. Listen to Psalm 71:17-18. "Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, & to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old & gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come."
ILL. In a TV commercial for a bank, a mother is shown putting her first grader on the bus & waving good bye. Then we hear the voice of the announcer saying, "Every morning we send our children one day closer to the future."
Then there are more pictures of young children, with the announcer concluding, "The best investment in the future is an investment in our children."
The commercial is right, except that our primary concern should not be financial but spiritual. We should deposit in our children a rich faith in God & leave them an inheritance of biblical values so that they'll be protected against the propaganda with which Satan seeks to destroy them.
B. Though we usually like to learn by imitating the positive examples of others, we can also learn from the mistakes of others.
Such is the case with Jacob, one of my least favorite Bible characters. Too much of what we know about him is negative. As a young man he was a schemer & a deceiver, taking advantage of both his brother & his blind father. Then, as a father himself, he made some big mistakes that we must be careful to avoid.
1. First of all, Jacob did not communicate real love to all his children. Instead, it was obvious that he had a favorite.
Genesis 37:3-4 tells us, "Now Israel (that's Jacob's other name) loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; & he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him & could not speak a kind word to him."
This was no typical sibling rivalry. This was bitter hatred that turned to violence & ripped the family apart. Joseph's brothers hated him so much that they even plotted to kill him their own brother!
But at the last minute, they changed their minds & sold him to slave traders. Then, to deceive their father, they took that special coat of Joseph's, soaked it with blood, & told Jacob that Joseph must have been torn apart by a wild animal.
Though their father was heartbroken, his sons maintained that lie for 22 years. And during that time they went from bad to worse. Their record during those 22 years includes rape, incest, immorality, & murder.
You see, Jacob made some terrible mistakes in the way he raised his children.
APPL. Now there was nothing wrong with Jacob loving Joseph & giving him a special coat. Children need positive strokes, & they need the security of knowing that someone thinks they're special.
ILL. One mother was always calling each of her two sons her "favorite." She would say, "You're my favorite younger son," or "You're my favorite older son." She once told one of them who had just sat on the bench for an entire basketball game, "You're my favorite basketball player on the bench!"
No, Jacob's mistake was that he ignored his other sons. He doted over Joseph, but seemed oblivious to the needs of the others. No wonder they hated Joseph. They were starving for attention from their father. Now that doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it helps us understand it.
2. Jacob's second mistake was that he failed to teach his sons to care about others.
Jesus said the most important commandment is to love God with all your heart & soul & mind & strength, & the second is to love others as yourself. But the sons of Jacob had no idea how to show love, even to each other. They were as self centered as they could be.
If Joseph had been sensitive to the feelings of his brothers, he would not have flaunted his dreams. And his brothers should have cared enough for Joseph to want to protect him. Instead, they sold him into slavery.
PROP. We learn, then, two important lessons from the terrible example of Jacob & his family.
I. CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW THEY ARE REALLY & TRULY LOVED
First of all, children need to know they are really & truly loved.
ILL. A few years ago CBN News had a feature about immorality among teenagers. When they interviewed one young woman who was involved in immoral behavior, & asked her why, she responded, "If you don't get love at home, you'll try to find it someplace else."
A. Gary & Anna Marie Ezzo developed an excellent child rearing course titled, “Growing Kids God's Way”. They suggest that there are 5 ways to communicate love to others. They call them "languages of love." According to them:
1. The first language of love is "encouraging words." The Bible says, "Love builds up" (1 Corinthians 8:1). We can express love to people simply by giving them verbal encouragement: "You're special," "I need you," "You're thoughtful," "I learn from you," "You look nice," "I love you."
All of those phrases & many other encouraging words communicate love. We feel loved when someone takes the time to express it through words of praise & recognition.
2. "Acts of service" comprise a second language of love. The Bible says, "Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions & in truth" (1 John 3:18). We can communicate love to others by doing something special for them something that goes beyond what is normal or expected.
3. A third way to express love is through "gift giving." The Bible says, "Christ loved the church & gave himself up for her…" (Ephesians 5:25).
The simple gesture of a thoughtful gift is a great way to express love. An unexpected gift at a time other than Christmas or a birthday is especially meaningful because it says, "When we were apart, I was thinking about you."
4. "Special attention" is a fourth expression of love. Jesus often took His disciples away from the crowds to a quiet place where they could spend time together.
Giving them “special attention” means listening carefully & responding lovingly. It doesn't mean sitting in the same room with someone while you both stare at a TV or read the newspaper. “Special attention” requires active participation together, going beyond the surface level of communication.
5. "Physical touch & closeness" make up the final language of love. Jesus communicated love by touching the little children, the blind, the deaf, & even those with leprosy. We communicate love when we hold someone's hand, put an arm around someone's shoulder, or give someone a hug.
II. CHILDREN NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO LOVE & RESPECT OTHERS
Secondly, children need to be taught to love & respect others.
A. Jacob not only failed to communicate love to all his sons, he also failed to teach them to love & respect others.
The Bible says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4).
Young people need to know that they are really & truly loved, but they also need to be taught that there are other people who are just as valuable to God as they are, & those people deserve to be treated with respect & kindness, too.
The Bible says, "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who...humbled himself & became obedient to death - even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:5,8)
B. So let's consider some ways to instill the attitude of unselfishness & consider-ation of others.
ILL. If your child tosses a candy wrapper at a wastebasket & misses, how do you respond? Do you pick it up for him? Do you just leave it there? Do you shout at your child to pick it up?
The child needs to be taught that throwing a wrapper on the floor is selfish & inconsiderate. One who has learned to be considerate of others will pick it up so that someone else is not inconvenienced.
ILL. And it's not just children who need to learn. The signs in the parking lot of a supermarket ask us to return our grocery carts to the designated areas. But all around us we see grocery carts in the middle of parking places, or left behind someone else's car.
We call it "The Golden Rule" where Jesus teaches that we are to “do unto others as we would have them do unto us”. How much that needs to be taught today!
ILL. Gary Ezzo also tells about his daughter Jennifer coming home from school & joyfully sharing about how badly her team was defeated in kickball. Being joyful over losing seems un American! But Jennifer's joy was an unselfish joy.
During her gym period, she was selected as a team captain. As they began to choose sides, Jennifer realized that some of her classmates had never been chosen first. In fact, those who were the worst athletes in the class were always chosen last. You know how it goes, don't you?
So Jennifer made a decision. When the other captain picked first & selected Dennis, the best player, Jennifer said, "I'll pick Dori." (Dori was the worst player in the class.)
The kids were stunned, but the other captain picked the next best player & Jennifer went up the ladder from the bottom, picking the second worst player, then the third worst, & so on.
She said, "Dad, it was great! We got so clobbered! We took the field first & didn't even get our turn to kick!"
But by giving those non athletes the thrill of being chosen first, Jennifer had experienced the joy that comes from valuing the preciousness of others.
SUM. Children can be the cruelest members of society. But children who have learned to value others can be used by God to love those who seldom feel loved.
ILL. One man told this story about himself: "Several years ago we met at my sister's house for Thanksgiving. My sister had written us, explaining that their new home did not have much space in the driveway & that parking on the street was not allowed.
If the driveway was filled when we arrived, we were to park in the grade school parking lot two blocks down the street.
He says, "I arrived with my family at 11:00 & there were no cars in the driveway. I assumed we were the first to arrive, & I pulled in, thankful that I didn't have to walk the two blocks from the school.
“When we went inside, there sat my parents, who were in their early 70’s at the time. I asked, ‘Where's your car?' They said, ‘Oh, we parked down at the school so the ones who came later wouldn't have to walk.'"
He says, "I went out to my car & drove down to the school lot, too."
People like that make life more pleasant for everyone. People like that have the attitude of Christ.
The New Testament tells us repeatedly to think of "one another." "Love one another" (Romans 13:8), "Accept one another" (Romans 15:7), "Bear with one another" (Ephesians 4:2), "Forgive one another" (Ephesians 4:32), "Encourage one another" (Hebrews 10:25), "Spur one another on toward love & good deeds" (Hebrews 10:24).
CONCL. Jesus expressed his love in all of the love languages. He gave us “encouraging words” - "As the father loves me, so I love you" (cf. John 15:9). He gave us “acts of service” He washed the disciples' feet & healed the sick.
He gave us “special attention”, promising, "Surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:20). He gave us great examples of “physical touch” when He held the children, touched the blind, the deaf, & the lepers. And He gave us the “greatest gift” He could give - His own life on the cross.
Now Jesus tells us, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35).
Oh, may all who come behind us find us faithful,
May the fire of our devotion light their way.
May the footprints that we leave, lead them to believe,
And the lives we live inspire them to obey.
Oh, may all who come behind us find us faithful!
INVITATION
