LISTEN MY HEART, CHANGE MY MOUTH PAGE 1
By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
COMMUNICATION IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILLS WE CAN DEVELOP IN LIFE.
***I have a slide, or I write on the board:
no price too much (no punctuation marks)
I tell this story: A very rich farmer sent his trusted cowboy to cattle auction in a huge market. The farmer wanted to buy the prize bull to breed with his cows. The farmer instructed his friend to buy the bull and bring it home. At the auction the prices were soaring. The price for the prize bull soon reached $50,000.00. The hired hand did not know what to do. During lunch break the cowboy telegraphed his boss. The price of the cow topped $50,000, should he or should he not buy the cow. The answer returned:
no price to much
NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Would you buy the bull? Would you stop biding?
Now, lets us decide?
Is it: No price is too high... ? Buy it?
Is it: NO, the price is too high?
The correct answer is: Send another message and get clarity on the answer.
GOD DESIRES HIS PEOPLE TO HAVE GOOD HEALTHY COMMUNICATION SKILLS...
1 Timothy 6:18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
Hebrews 13:16 But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
We need to seek God for His communication skills in the family and in the church.
God gives spiritual gifts to the church and to individuals. Each gift is for encouragement and edification.We need to operate and grow us daily.
COMMUNICATION IS A SKILL THAT WE CAN IMPROVE AND BRING ASBOUT REAL CHANGE.
• The words we choose to use.
• The volume we speak with. (Who is the loudest, does not make you right.)
• The intonation/pitch/sounds of our words. (sarcasms can be cruel)
• The body language/facial expressions.
• The communication skills is much more than just what you speak, good communication involves how you listen.
When I taught school I had a six week class on improving your listening skills. I gave a very difficult test. I said read
the directions at the beginning of the page and proceed as directed. The directions were very clear. They said,
fold this test in half, write your name and date on the page. Turn your test over and enjoy the moment. Every
student started answering the questions. There were complaints of how hard and difficult the test was.
All the students but one, a boy named David took the test. Every other student failed the test. They never read
the directions. Do you listen to others?
• Our communication skills often reflect our perspective and life experiences. In counseling I often make people
repeat the words of the other person. Often what we say they said, is not what they really said. We tend to put
our spin on others' words.
• All I say is the truth... We need to temper our words with love and wisdom. Telling a fat person they are fat
maybe truth, but maybe it is not wisdom.
WE MUST NEED TO SANCTIFY OUR MOUTHS, WORDS, AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS...
WE TEND TO TRAIN OUR KIDNEYS BETTER THAN WE TRAIN OUR MOUTH/WORDS...
When I taught the 7th grade I had a straight A student in my class. He was smart and a real good looking young man. He had would I call: THE WHIPPED DOG SYNDROME. He would never look up. He would seldom communicate with anyone. He was a loner. During breaks I noticed his little sister was the same way. I announced that I would make a home visit next week. I pulled my car into their yard and I noticed the dog had his tail tucked between his legs and would not look up. As I got out of my car his mother greeted me and thanked me for investing in her son. The mother would not look up, she seemed afraid. I was invited in the trailer and I met their dad. He screamed and yelled at his wife. He had a beer between his legs and empty cans around his feet. The man barked more than the dog. We had a good visit and I understood why the family lived in THE WHPPED DOG SYNDROME. I TOLD THE PARENTS THEIR KIDS WERE SOME OF THE BEST IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL.
I started praying for this family. I poured encouragement into the children. I took extra time and invest love and kind words into my student. Sometimes we need to see THE REAL NEED and develop a plan of communication to BE KIND and LOVE the defeated.
There is ground breaking neurological research that suggest:
YOU CAN TRAIN YOURSELF BOTH TO SPEAK AND LISTEN IN A WAY THAT STIMULATES SYMPATHY AND TRUST IN THE BRAIN OF THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO...
Proverbs 15:23 (KJV) A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!
Proverbs 15:23 (NLT) Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!
LEADERSHIP MUST LEARN HOW IMPORTANT HEALTHY COMMUNICATION SKILLS ARE AND DEVELOP A STRADEGY TO IMPROVE...
A COMMUNICATION NIGHTMARE IS TO REACT TO THE NEGATIVE INSTEAD OF ACTING BY FAITH.
Always stay calm. Never put your mouth in gear when your brain is in neutral.
Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. 12 As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.
When stress and anger are pushing and flooding in --- STAY CALM.
Take slow, deep breaths.
A SOFT ANSWER CAN HELP YOUR WORDS BE HEARD.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
THINK AND SPEAK KIND AND ENCOURAGING WORDS.
COUNT TO TEN, MAYBE 1,000?
Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32 (MSG) Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
YOUR EYES CAN SPEAK VOLUMES --- BODY LANGUAGE AND A SMILE CAN GO A LONG WAY TO KEEP HEALTHY COMMUNICATION THRIVING...
Proverbs 16:24 (KJV) Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24 (MSG) Gracious speech is like clover honey— good taste to the soul, quick energy for the body.
There are at least 7 facial expressions people use. Facial expressions can be mean and hateful, or they can express kindness, compassion, and interest in other people.
Do we express appreciation of others. We can be different and still LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
GOOD COMMUNICATION TRAINS YOUR BRAIN --- LISTEN TWICE BEFORE YOU SPEAK...
AND NEVER "THROWS UP THE PAST!" SPEAKS WITH JESUS' HEART...
LISTENING IS HARD --- Listening well is a WORK OF LOVE.
James 1:19-20 (KJV) Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20 (MSG) Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. 20 God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger.
THE AVERAGE PERSON CUTS INTO THE CONVERSATION WHILE THE OTHER PERSON IS STILL SPEAKING.
The average DOCTOR is trained to listen, yet the doctor while listening to patients will cut the PATIENT OFF AT 23 SECONDS.
WILL YOU TRAIN YOURSELF TO LISTEN, STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING?
Listen to the words, pay attention to the body language and facial expressions and get to know the heart of others.
Colossians 4:6 (KJV) Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Colossians 4:6 (MSG) Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.
Colossians 4:6 (NLT) Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
Heavenly Father teach me to be good communicator.
His servant, Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com