Summary: G.U.T.S: Tangible- Let's talk about 5 tangible expressions of love from the one another's of the New Testament (Series idea from Mike Mack in his book, Small Group Vital Signs, pgs. 103-111; Outline from Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages)

HoHum:

Needed: A Valentine Card

Today is a special holioday, what is it? That's right -- Valentine Day. It is a very special day because it is a time when we tell our friends, family, and sweethearts how much we love them. One way we do that is by sending Valentine cards.

Valentine cards may be sweet or they may be funny. They may be warm and friendly. Here is one I bought for my wife. I always spend a lot of time choosing a card for my wife because I want the card to tell her just how much I love her. Do you think my wife enjoys hearing me tell her how much I love her? I know she does, but do you know what else she likes? She likes for me to show her how much I love her. I asked my wife to make a list of things that I could do to show her that I love her. This is what she wrote:

Wipe off the water from the bathroom counter; Walk beside me, my legs are shorter

Stay with me and Stay with the group

Hold my hand ; Rub my back; Don't try to cook

Open doors, or at least hold them so they don't swing closed on me

Love our boys; Take out the trash; Stay awake when I'm talking ; Defend me

Skim milk, M&Ms, & Sweet Tea go a long way; Tell me you still do

My wife likes for me to say, “I love you”, but she likes it even more when I show her. Does Jesus like to hear how much we love him? I am sure that he does, but I think he likes it even more when we show him how much we love him. How do we do that? Well, that list my wife made is a big clue? Jesus made a list too! His list is found in the Bible. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” John 14:15. If we want to show Jesus how much we love him, we will read his Word and do what he told us to do. When we tell Jesus we love him, remember that he likes it even more when we show him -- by obeying what He commands.

From Sermons4Kids at: http://www.sermons4kids.com/love-me-show-me.html

WBTU:

When I say the word “love” there are several things that can come to our minds. On a day like today many think of romantic love. Two people meet and fall in love. “Some enchanted evening you may see a stranger; You may see a stranger across a crowded room; And somehow you know, you know even then; That somewhere you'll see her again and again; Who can explain it, who can tell you why; Fools give you reasons, wise men never try”

In romantic relationships there has to be an element of chemistry. Two people seem to click, their personalities mess, their temperments compliment each other, they laugh at the same things, have inspiring conversations between them, they are better together than separated. This is even true in same gender relationships. I seem to get along with a few in my gender better than others. David found this to be true with Jonathan. “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” 2 Samuel 1:26, NIV. Some take this to mean that David and Jonathan had some kind of physical relationship but that just shows how sin sick we are as a society. When we consider Jesus’ relationships, he had the 12, “that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach” Mark 3:14, NIV. Constantly with the 12 and this was deliberate, not some enchanted evening. Jesus had 3, Peter, James, and John, who were with him more than the others. These 3 were at all of the important events in the Gospels. Even deeper than that, we have the beloved apostle- the disciple whom Jesus loved, meaning John, the brother of James. Evidently Jesus and John had chemistry and John was closer to Jesus even than Peter. We see here that even Jesus had people with whom he more easily connected with than others.

Even so, if we make little effort to maintain these relationships, they will die. Many a person has had some enchanted evening only later to see that relationship end in divorce. Has to be deliberate actions on our part to see that this relationship is maintained, and not only maintained but thriving and going stronger than before.

To have great relationships, we must show our love through our actions to each other. Our love must be seen, must be tangible. It takes G.U.T.S to live in real, Christ centered community.

Use this acronym to talk about Christian community. G stands for genuine. U stands for unfailing acceptance. T stands for tangible.

Love must be expressed in actions to be real love. Speaking of obeying Jesus’ commands, the NT has many one another commands. These things must be tangible, seen, for us to love each other effectively (love is a one another command).

The outline of what I am about to share is based on teachings from Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages.

Thesis: Talk about these 5 tangible expressions of love

For instances:

1. Physical touch

“Greet one another with a holy kiss (kiss of love).” 2 Corinthians 13:12, NIV.

In our culture this is strange and unacceptable. I think what is intended here is physical touch, like a hug, a handshake, a pat on the back. Physical touch is important. Jesus was always touching people and we need to do the same.

Babies and the elderly do much better when they receive tender, affirming physical touch.

Some people have a hard time with physical touch. We must be sensitive to the desires of another person. However, there is a time, place and manner in which touch is important for all.

2. Words of affirmation

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV.

This is more natural for some than others but this is a tangible way to express love. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21, NIV.

Need to give words of apprecaite for something someone did. Send a card over internet or mail

Give words of encouragement, encourage means to inspire courage, “You can do it.”

3. Quality time

The Biblical understanding of quality time is abiding or remaining. Drawing near and drawing the other person out. We see this Greek word being used in the Gospels and Acts as staying or dwelling in a place. “When she (Lydia) and the members of her household were baptised, she invited us to her home. “If you consider me a believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay (abide there, remain there), at my house.” And she persuaded us.” Acts 16:15.

“Keep on loving each other as brothers.” Hebrews 13:1. Another translation: Let brotherly love remain (abide). Important to spend time together. “Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favour of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:46, 47, NIV. Quality time is loving someone enough to lay aside the worry and distraction in order to be fully present.

In A Mile in My Shoes, Trevor Hudson says: Let me describe what it means to be truly present. Being present involves letting go of our constant preoccupations, immersing ourselves in the here and now, and giving ourselves wholeheartedly to whatever is at hand. … It’s about becoming more aware, alert, awake to the fullness of the immediate moment. If we are with another person, it means engaging with him or her with all of our heart, our mind, our soul, and our strength. Such wholehearted attention requires patience, time, and disciplined effort. And it is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to those around us.

4. Acts of service

One of the clearest pictures of the essence of the Christian faith is that of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. In a culture where pepole wore sandals and walked on dirt streets, it was customary for the servant of the household to wash the grimy feet of guests as they arrived. Jesus, who had instructed his disciples to love one another, gave them an example of how to express that love when He took a basin and a towel and proceeded to wash their feet. After that simple expression of love, He encouraged His disciples to follow His example.

“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13, NIV.

5. Gifts

A gift is something that says, “I was thinking of you. I wanted you to have this. I love you.”

Gifts are visible symbols of love. During most wedding ceremonies the bride and groom give and receive rings. The person performing the ceremony says something like this, “These rings are outward and visible signs of the bond which unites your two hearts in love that has no end.”

Some gifts only last for a few hours. Many moms will remember this gift- a dandelion picked from the yard and given to her by her child. The gift was quickly gone, but the memory lingers. Other gifts, like a ring, endure for a lifetime. The important thing is not the gift, but the love that is communicated by the gift. The right gift is any token, big or small, that speaks of love.

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10, NIV.

The Greek word from whcih we get our English word gift is charis, which means “grace,” or an undeserved gift. A gift by its very nature is not payment for services rendered. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--” Ephesians 2:8, NIV.