Summary: One of the saddest things that can happen in a congregation is when people begin to fight each other instead working together. Instead of being focused on our mission, we’re too busy bickering and fighting with each other.

Today we finish our series through Paul’s Letter to Titus. I pray that these messages have blessed you but I also pray that they have challenged you – challenged you to grow in your walk with Christ and challenged our church to grow in depth and number.

Turn in your Bibles to Titus 3:9-15. Paul’s final written words to Titus urge the body of Christ to maintain harmony.

In music, harmony is defined as: “The sound resulting from the simultaneous sounding of two or more tones consonant (compatible) with each other.” The opposite of harmony in music is dissonance. Dissonance is defined as: ““A simultaneous sounding of tones that produces a

feeling of tension or unrest and a feeling that further resolution is needed.” Dissonant chords sound like the notes are clashing with each other.

Let me demonstrate. (Play C major chord). All the notes are working together to make a sweet and enjoyable sound. However, listen to when I play these notes together (C, Db, D). It’s most unpleasant to hear this sound. It’s unsettling.

Dissonance in the church is unsettling to the mission of the church. One of the saddest things that can happen in a congregation is when people begin to fight each other instead working together. Instead of being focused on our mission, we’re too busy bickering and fighting with each other.

Jesus said in Lk. 11:17 – “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.” Paul wrote in Gal. 5:15 – If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

On the night before Jesus was crucified, he went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. What did he pray that his followers would possess so that the world would truly know the Lordship of Jesus Christ? Was it the ability to perform miracles? Was it powerful preaching? Was it great music? Was it money to finance the church’s activities? No! Jesus prayed for harmony for all of his followers Jn. 17:21 – “That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”

Jesus wanted his followers to get along so that their testimony would be believable. It’s a farce for the church to tell the world we have the solution to strife – “come experience the

peace that passes understanding” – when we’re fighting among ourselves.

So how do we do that? How do we maintain harmony in the local church? Let’s look at the instruction Paul gives to Titus here in this passage.

Titus 3:9-15 – But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. 11 You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.

As soon as I send Artemas or Tychicus to you, do your best to come to me at Nicopolis, because I have decided to winter there. 13 Do everything you can to help Zenas the lawyer and Apollos on their way and see that they have everything they need. 14 Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order to provide for urgent needs and not live unproductive lives. 15 Everyone with me sends you greetings. Greet those who love us in the faith. Grace be with you all.

Avoid Controversy if Possible

Listen to vs. 9 of Titus 3 again: But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. We should avoid controversy if possible. I say “if possible” because not all controversy is foolish.

For instance, someone in the church says, “I believe that all belief systems are equally valid. Any religion will get you to heaven.” That statement is not only untrue, it’s also dangerous. It can lead someone onto the wrong path. Jesus said in Jn. 14:6 – “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” There are some issues that are critical and need to be discussed.

Paul is not talking about doctrinal issues. He’s talking about things that really don’t matter one way or another. Many of the Jewish rabbis would spend their time arguing with each other over minute details on how to observe the Mosaic Law.

For example, they would argue over what it meant to observe the Day of Rest, the Sabbath. Basically, their arguments sounded something like this: Can I eat a sandwich with two pieces of bread and a pickle, or would that be too much work to make?

They also argued over genealogies in the Old Testament. Some rabbis would make up imaginary people in the genealogies, and then they would argue over them.

Things aren't too different in churches today. Churches have been known to fight over everything from flower arrangements, to dress codes, to the kind of the carpet on the floors, to the color of the paint in the kitchen.

There are others who see themselves as being more spiritual than others if they argue about the Bible a lot. People can get hung up on the tiniest letter of the law and yet miss the point of the law.

Paul gives two very good reasons to avoid foolish controversies. The first reason is because they accomplish nothing. They aren’t edifying or productive. Paul calls them “useless and unprofitable.” Basically, when you finish the argument, you’ve wasted your time.

When the Russian revolution was being viciously waged on the streets of Petrograd, the leaders of the Russian Orthodox Church were in a conference just a few blocks from the fighting. They were having a heated argument about what color robes the priests should wear. Why spend a lot of time on trivia when there is a revolution going on in the world?

The other way to avoid foolish controversies is because they’re potentially divisive. The word translated as “controversies” in Titus 3:9 is translated in other passages as “strife.” Even what starts off as a friendly discussion can quickly turn into a heated argument. People get their egos involved and lose perspective. The argument escalates and then causes division.

There are some tried and true ways to avoid foolish controversies. Prevention is the best cure.

A fifth grade boy wrote an essay on straight pins. He said, “Straight pins are wonderful. They save thousands of life every year.” His teacher asked, “How do straight pins save thousands of lives?” The boy said, “By not swallowing them.”

One way we can avoid foolish controversies is to change the subject. Sometimes people can blind side you. But there are many other times when you just feel that a discussion is moving toward controversy. When that happens, find a way to skillfully get out of it. If possible, use humor. A good sense of humor can defuse a tense situation.

Another way to avoid foolish controversies is just don’t bring it up. If you already know that a certain issue is going to lead to a heated argument, don’t mention it. If the other person does, do your best not to aggravate the situation.

Still another way is to just walk away. Sometimes because someone is forcing the issue, you don’t have a choice. If it gets to the point where you need to walk away from the person, do so graciously. There’s no need to stir the stink.

If necessary, avoid the person altogether. You may meet someone who is so primed for an argument that there is nothing else you can do. Say a polite “hello” and keep on walking.

Confront Divisive People When Necessary

Paul says in Titus 3:10-11 – Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. 11 You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.

Paul wrote in Rom. 12:18 – If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. But he also wrote about an encounter with Peter in Antioch when Peter was favoring the Jewish Christians over the Gentile ones. In Gal. 2:11, he said, “I opposed him face to face.” Why? Paul says that Peter was clearly in the wrong. As much as possible, live in peace, but sometimes you have to confront people to their face.

Here are some categories of divisive people. The first one is the false teacher. Back in Titus1:11, Paul said this about false teachers: They must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach.

If any teacher says that we are reincarnated after we die, or that Jesus was a good man and a great teacher but not the Son of God, that teacher should be confronted because their false teaching is potentially divisive.

A second category of divisive people is the immoral example. Whenever someone flagrantly flaunts immoral behavior in the church and refuses to repent, they can stir up a lot of strife. Paul chastised the leaders in Corinth for not confronting a man in their church who was living in incest. He pointedly asked them in 1 Cor. 5:6 – Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?

A third category of divisive people is the contentious spirit. This person is someone who is always stirring things up. Maybe they do it by gossip. When the rumor mill gets going, you can always trace the source back to this one individual. Maybe they do it by criticism. They sit back on the sidelines and mumble and ridicule what is going on all the time.

Some people with a contentious spirit aren't as subtle. They will divide by showing open rebellion. “If you don't do it my way, I'll stop giving my tithe.” That's just blackmail. A good leader will never cave to an ultimatum.

Some people will divide by being hypersensitive. They make sure you know that their feelings will be hurt if things don't happen the way they like it. People always have to walk on eggshells around them. I am always amazed at how much damage is done to churches and by people who seem so quiet and unassuming, but they hold everyone hostage by the threat of pouting. If anyone’s attitude is ruining the harmony of the church, they must be confronted

So, how do we do that? The Bible gives us very clear instruction in this matter. Here’s how to confront divisive people.

First, you have to determine if the problem is measles or cancer. Not every critical comment or disagreement is going to result in division in the church. A healthy church is full of people who occasionally disagree but are able to do it maturely.

When a serious issue arises, the leaders need to prayerfully discern if the problem is more like measles or more like cancer. Measles may be uncomfortable but will quickly go away if left alone. Cancer won’t disappear without aggressive treatment. If the situation isn’t life threatening, leave it alone. If it’s potentially cancerous, confront it directly.

Matt. 18:15-17 – If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Once it’s determined that the problem is more like cancer, Jesus says that the second step is that we are to initially confront personally. You go by yourself and try to handle the matter privately. This confrontation is not to be done in anger or with the intention of putting someone in their place. Jesus says that if they take heed to your concerns then you have avoided the continuation of the problem.

Jesus says if that doesn’t work, the third step is to take two or three witnesses. If the person refuses to change, then take a few others with you. You are still trying to handle the situation as privately as possible. If you can’t find a few others who have seen and agree that there’s a serious problem, maybe the situation isn’t as serious as you’re making it and you should drop it.

The next step if there is no change is to discuss the problem with the church leaders. If you’re still convinced after the first two steps that someone poses a threat to the harmony of the church, you should express your concern to the leaders of the church and then trust them to handle it properly. If they treat it like the measles instead of cancer, trust God, trust your leaders, and let it go. It’s not your job to be the church vigilante. You’ve done your part.

If the leaders determine that action should be taken, the fifth step in this process is that they should warn the divisive person. Paul told Titus, “Warn a divisive person once and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” It is not the role of a church member to give warning. This role belongs to the church leaders. The warning should be done privately and lovingly.

Step number six if there is no repentance and the body of Christ is still being threatened is that they should then warn him a second time. This person should be given another chance with a more severe warning.

The last step if there is no repentance, the church leaders should then administer discipline. Paul says, “After that, have nothing to do with him.” Jesus says, “And if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

If the person stubbornly chooses to continue in their disruptive behavior after two warnings from the leadership, they should be told by the elders that they are no longer a member of the congregation. This means that they are no longer eligible to serve in leadership positions or recruited for service opportunities. You just don’t treat them as a member of your fellowship. That doesn’t mean that you don’t speak to that person or treat them with unkindness. Some instances will require the elders to insist that the divisive person leave the congregation altogether.

Church leaders get nervous about administering discipline. It’s not an easy job. However, I agree with Stuart Briscoe’s warning: “If proper discipline is not applied where appropriate, the result will be a marked decline in the spiritual nature of the church.”

Practice Servanthood at Every Opportunity

Titus 3:12-14 – As soon as I send Artemas or Tychicus to you, do your best to come to me at Nicopolis, because I have decided to winter there. 13 Do everything you can to help Zenas the lawyer and Apollos on their way and see that they have everything they need. 14 Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order to provide for urgent needs and not live unproductive lives.

We have to realize that most of our divisions are personality-driven, not issues-driven. We often convince ourselves that we are fighting over the principle when we’re just defending our own egos. When we take our eyes off of ourselves and begin to serve others, harmony develops.

This is a great lesson and a great way to close out the book of Titus. The best way to maintain the harmony of the church is for the leaders and members to get the focus off of themselves and put it into serving others. If we are focusing on loving God and loving people, then our minds won't be concentrating on nit-picking and fighting with each other.

The example of Jesus is servanthood. On the night of the Last Supper, the disciples were arguing about who was the greatest. They were worried about determining who was the most important, and Jesus is just a few hours away from his crucifixion. But as those disciples argue, Jesus gets up from the table, wraps a towel around His waist and washes their feet.

In Matt. 23:11 Jesus said, “The greatest among you will be your servant.” When we can get our minds around this principle, it will do incredible things in helping us to keep the harmony.

There is something about harmony that leads to synergy. Synergy is when two or more people, work together and the result is more than their individual efforts put together.

At the Calgary Stampede a few years back, the champion draft horse pulled just over 9,000 pounds. The second place draft horse pulled just under 9,000 pounds. They decided to hitch them together to see what the horses could pull. Mathematically, the horses should have been able to pull 18,000 pounds. But together, the horses pulled over 27,000 pounds!

That is synergy. That’s the power of harmonizing together. And when the church is carrying the same tune, with everyone doing their job and all pulling together, the results can be amazing.

Close

The most important thing that influences harmony and synergy in the church is forgiveness. Don’t let the little things build into big things. We must forgive others to live in harmony with each other.

That’s what Jesus did. We are all sinners who fell out of harmony with God. Jesus stepped in and paid the price for our sin so that we can be forgiven and be in harmony with God forever. Because Jesus was willing to do that, we can spend an eternity in perfect harmony with God and with each other. Our attitude should be that of a servant – serving Jesus and serving others.

Remember how we talked about harmony and dissonance? (Play chords again). Which one of these best describes your life? Isn’t it time to harmonize your life with Jesus Christ?